Promise of Tomorrow
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Mac has a son. One stupid mistake, two altered futures, one waiting destiny. Mac finds out about what Stella did w/Adam & makes a drastic decision. Can Stella help him get back what they had? Is their happy future possible? after eppy 'epilogue' 6.01
1. Time Never Heals a Broken Heart

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 1 - Time Never Heals a Broken Heart**

**Summary:** Mac has a son. One stupid mistake, two broken hearts, two altered futures, one waiting destiny. Mac makes a drastic decision after he finds out what Stella did and both their lives change forever. Can she help him repair what they had? Is their happy future possible?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Mac Taylor but I wish I did (course then I'd have no time to write! Lol)! This is a piece of fan fiction. It is written for pleasure and not for profit. The characters of CSI New York and any other regular cast and supporting cast members all belong to CBS, Paramount & Jerry Bruckheimer and Anthony Zuiker. All other characters are my own. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

**Special thanks to my fellow canuck (slang for Canadian) and Mac lover, SMackedFan who over a million PM's lol...this came about. Also special thanks to HoshiHikari for the amazing PM's of support and the added boost of confidence to post. Thanks guys, you both rock and hope I did some small amount of justice to this idea. **

**A/N 1:** Please have on hand one box of kleenex, and large quantities of chocolate :). Note in the eppy 'Blacklist' they cast Mac's mother as Millie Taylor so that's the name I'm using for her. As there will be lots of flashbacks in this story, they'll be in italics, so hopefully not to confusing.

**A/N 2:** So I had an idea about Mac and Stella separating and then reuniting after sometime later with a surprise in store and then the whole A/S fiasco in the season opener just sort of lent itself well to this idea as to the reason why. So as much as I HATED (yes that was shouting) that scene I thought I would elaborate on a 'what if' situation with Mac doing a 180 when he found out. I'm the first to admit that whole 'suggestion' SUCKED and so my smacked will be the main focus of this story as they should be! (grin)

* * *

_Mac's gone. _Two words that will haunt me, I fear, until the day comes when I draw my last breath.

I exist, that's the best way to describe the routine of my life from day to day. I exist, at least in bodily form only; my heart being ripped out a few years back and my mental peace of mind and emotional well being never returning to the state they were before I made a terrible mistake. They say that time heals all wounds. Who the hell are they? Time never heals a broken heart; at least mine has yet to mend, I doubt it ever will.

_Mac's gone_, I was told_. He left last night Stella. Mac Taylor is gone. Gone...gone for good._

"Stella?" Lindsay's soft tone immediately snaps me from my end of the day mental stupor. I look up with a weak smile, take the file and then offer her a whispered goodnight and go back to my morbid thoughts. My daily routine has become something I do without thinking; going through the motions as a soulless zombie; a just penance for destroying the future happiness for my soul mate; a man who I fear lost to me for good. A man, who after all this time, I still love more than anything.

I take a deep breath, push myself from my chair and stand up on shaky legs, allowing my heart to slow a little before I continue with my weekly Friday night ritual; remembering a painful past in hopes of securing a somewhat normal future. I numbly push myself into the quiet hallway and stand and listen. As always I look at the elevator and see my handsome partner walking toward me with a smile on his face, his eyes teasing mine as he joins me, whispering in my ear that it's time to go; time to leave; together.

But as I take a few more steps and look to my left, I am once again reminded of his absence by an empty office; an office that used to house one of the most amazing men I have ever known; an office empty and dead, two feelings that have come to be my very epitaph. Walls devoid of Marine memorabilia, political news and icons, professional accreditation and service and history awards; opening their arms to encompass me once again. An old friend returning to sit with a dying memory.

"Mac..." I dare to utter as I always do, knowing inside my painful heart that I won't hear my name echoed in return; not from him, not now, maybe never again.

I push my way into his empty office; an office that I used to delight going into, that is until one day; one day that fate decided I needed to go through with and forced me down a path of regret and remorse. When I would first come into his office and sit in the empty chair; gazing miserably out the window, concerned co-workers and passersby in general would stop and ask if everything was okay. I would look at them as if they had grown a third eye, wanting to yell, I just destroyed my future happiness with one stupid act, how the hell can I be okay?

But I would simply nod my head and turn my watery gaze back out the window, praying over and over again for a second chance; one that would not come easily, I feared never at all. I lean my head back on the soft leather, the faint scent of my beloved partner all but spent; a small reminder of the man I once loved taken from me by time and fate itself.

_'Stella!'_ I can still hear the anger in his voice as he calls me from the doorway of his office; contempt and hurt on his handsome face. That day had started out like any other day; that one fateful Monday. But I should have known something was up, should have known by the way Mac snapped at even the smallest thing that something was building and just waiting for the right moment to blow. I just never imagined that when he called me into his office and it did blow that it would leave a crater between us that was un-repairable.

********  
_'Stella,' he called me and I looked up from my discussion with Lindsay and knew in an instant that something was wrong. Taking my leave I hurried to him, fearing the worst. Over the past ten years, I have come to discern his various moods and looks and the expression he was putting forth was one of measuring me for a coffin._

_'Mac?__ You have that look, what happened?' I dared to ask._

_'I just need a moment in private please,' he stated with controlled anger._

_I followed Mac into his office, his body tense and his fists balled up tightly at his sides. I felt my own nervous anxiety starting to grow as the silent tension continued to mount. With his back to me, I could still see his jaw harden as his brain obviously tried to give his mouth the right words to say. I wish now I was deaf and didn't hear what he spoke, but the tone in his voice, to this day haunts my waking existence._

_'You slept with Adam,' he dared to utter; his voice contrite and thick with hatred and disdain. The one thing I have admired most about Mac Taylor over the ten years of getting to know him is that he was always able to control even the most basest of emotions when in a public setting; allowing himself a sometimes uncharacteristic display of anger during an interrogation, but nothing more. To always give the appearance of the cold, aloof and emotionally closed off leader that we have come to know and respect was something he prided himself on._

_'Mac?'__ I had dared to ask, my voice quivering and my heart racing. He finally turned around and the look of pain and betrayal in his now angry blue eyes sent chills down to my feet._

_'I heard from Danny; as it appears he and his friend Adam Ross have a better communication routine than we have developed over the past ten years!' He finished in an angry growl._

_'I...'_

_'Didn't you trust me?'_

_'Mac it wasn't about trust.'_

_'Damn it Stella, why didn't you tell me?' He challenged, his face tight and his fists about to punch holes into his thick palms._

_'It was one time Mac and it meant nothing. It was stupid and I was...' I had started._

_'You didn't answer the question! Why didn't you tell me?'_

_'I was ashamed,' I admitted with a heavy sigh. 'And I didn't want to remember or make a big deal about it. Adam and I agreed it was stupid and would never happen again. You were busy and...'_

_'Why?' He permitted himself to ask next._

_'Why what?'_

_'Why did you do it?' He asked with a heavy swallow._

_I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him head on, blue colliding with green in a showdown of heated passion and angry emotion._

_'You weren't available,' I stated pointedly and his jaw immediately hardened again; as if he had just been hit with a ton of bricks. They say the truth always hurts and for the life of me I don't know why I continued; why I felt the need to justify myself to a man I still love more than anything about an act that hurt him more than I could ever imagine._

_'You were so obsessed with the case; finding the people responsible for putting Danny in that chair. I called; you said you were at work and like every night would stay there until you had exhausted every waking second to ensure you went home, knowing you'd done all you could to...'_

_'Well at least one of us had to concentrate on the case as it appears you were busy sleeping with the help!' He nearly shouted, his face flushed and his eyes almost teary._

_'I called you Mac. I called you first because I needed you there, but you couldn't make it. I sat there for hours...sat there thinking and drinking; wondering what the hell I would do next. I missed Jess, still saw her dead. Mac, I needed human touch; another person; physical contact, and I begged inside my mind for that person to be you. But you weren't there. Adam was there, just as drunk and we did something stupid. It was one time and that was it. You weren't available,' I had finished in a dead whisper._

_He looked at me in shock with an expression like someone just punched him in the gut with an iron fist. But I did; with the truth. That night I needed him and he wasn't there; forcing me to seek solace in the arms of someone else; to give my most intimate embrace to a man I didn't love. But I'm to blame; I allowed it to happen, I could have said no, took my leave and went home and slept off my hangover instead of making the wrong choice; screwing three lives and mentally cursing myself every day since.  
__********_

The phone rings which quickly pulls me out of my morbid stupor, my eyes wet as usual and my throat unable to swallow. I watch his name come up on the display of the phone, never haveing the nerve to change it, and my fingers instinctively reaching for it until I remember that it's the phone being called, not Mac Taylor actually calling.

"Damn it!" I curse myself in anger, slamming my open palm onto his empty desk. "Mac..." his name escapes my lips once more. I have heard Mac Taylor described as cold, devoid of love, dead of passion and emotionally untouchable. But as I got to know him, Mac Taylor is a man full of passion; his very soul exudes that very emotion when he allows it. If you look even closer you can tell that for certain things he wears his heart on his sleeve; rarer still are the small outward displays to those he cares deeply about. But that day...that day the truth came to light was the day everything changed for Mac Taylor. I close my weary eyes once more, remembering the events that followed that led to his departure and subsequent disappearance.

********  
_'Mac, I'm sorry,' I tried, feeling the need to yet again justify my stupidity to the man who's heart I just crushed._

_'It's over,' he stated in a dead whisper._

_'Mac?'_

_'You said one time. Just don't let anything affect your work.'_

_I looked at him in shock; almost wanting to rush over to him, force myself on him and make him understand that I wanted it to be him; that I needed him then and still needed him now; that I always have and always will want and love only him. But I just stood there, looking at him in misery._

_'It won't, I promise,' I managed with a weak smile, swallowing my sorrow and praying my tears didn't offer a show to the world around us._

_'That's it I guess,' Mac swallowed himself, looking at me with a tight expression._

_'Mac, I...'_

_'It's over Stella,' he uttered again._

_'It was one time, that's it. That's all it ever was and all it ever will be.'_

_'But it was one time.'_

_And that was it; those five terrible words that would live on inside his mind and heart forever. One simple act; a meaningless display of emotion between two people in the wrong place at the wrong time. But for Mac Taylor it was a personal defeat; a stab into the soul of a man who swore he'd never bring pain and suffering to those he personally cared about. I only came to understand that after he had taken his leave; out of my life, for eternity I feared._

_I remember turning and walking numbly out of his office, my heart about to give way, my eyes wet and my fists curled into little balls of rage; anger at myself for destroying something he had worked hard to build. He had come half way across the world for me; declared he was there for me because he cared about me, which in return forced my confession that I was the woman in his life. He didn't have to tell me that I betrayed that, I felt it the minute our eyes locked; I lost him. I lost the only man I have ever loved._

_I remember walking to my office and slumping down in my chair; defeated. I must have sat there for a small eternity for when I pushed myself up, Mac's office was empty and he was gone; without another word, quietly taken his leave.  
_********

I look at my watch and frown. "Time to go Stella," I remind myself as my time to reminisce is almost over. The part that followed the confession was almost just as hard to endure as the confession itself. I remember heading home that night in misery; dialing Mac's number until my fingers actually hurt to go near an electronic device. I didn't eat; didn't sleep; kept picturing his handsome face, eyes watery, jaw clenched and hatred loosely veiled behind masks of blue. The next morning was the beginning of the end.

********  
_I had arrived early to wait for Mac, just to make sure that things wouldn't be strained between us; the rift I feared I had created the night before threatening to grow bigger if left unmended. Mac arrived; the elevator doors opened but he looked at me with a frown, instead of greeting me with a smile. Tension walked off that elevator with him and made sure that wherever he went during the day; it was there beside him the whole time; ensuring that he was reminded of how his emotional wellbeing was in danger of unraveling. _

_I tried to talk to him but he always made up an excuse; had someone around, or was about to leave. He avoided me that day as if I was the carrier of the plague. I figured it was a just treatment and so didn't push the issue; assuming it would pass in a few days. However, the days that followed were pretty much the same. Cold, distant, angry, closed off, alone; were just some of the terms that now danced around my brain when his name was offered. For any new cases, instead of just assuming me as his regular partner for the better part of ten years would be at his side; he always assigned me with Lindsay or Sheldon; Danny of course at that time still in recovery mode. I ached to be at his side like old times but it wasn't to be, never again. _

_I would offer him evidence at a scene if we happened to be together at the same time, and he would take the baggie or whatever, offer a brief not, his eyes unable to lock with mine and turn and leave. The rest of the team, save for Adam, asked me if I knew what was wrong? I would simply tell them, its typical workaholic Mac Taylor and they would shrug and get on with their task. Adam and I would interact but with Mac around it was always strained and uncomfortable. _

_He would pull all-nighters, sometimes sporting the same suit and dress shirt for a few days in a row, not eating and existing on coffee and angry adrenaline. Every day he'd wear a scowl and it was almost front page office gossip when Mac Taylor actually allowed a smile to crack his stoic face; an expression other than anger or determination never to be seen, except to the fortunate few, I wasn't one of them. _

_Then a few weeks later something else happened. It was late; most of the staff gone home, save for Adam in the lab, Danny in trace and Mac in his office. I had to finish something up and headed into the lab only to find Mac yelling at Adam for something he missed._

_'How the hell could you miss this? It's key.'_

_'Was overlooked, sorry,' Adam offered._

_'Were you distracted?' Mac demanded._

_'I was.'_

_'You can screw around with the boss on your own time, not at work! I need this done and I need it now!' He practically shouted until he looked up, saw I was there, offered me the most horrified expression I have ever seen in my life before cursing heavily and then turning and storming out of the room in anger. _

_I looked at Adam with a sad frown, my eyes almost spilling over. _

_'It was one time,' Adam tried in his defense. 'It meant nothing.'_

_'I know,' I nodded my head. _

_It shouldn't have even been that, I wanted to add. But Adam was only partly to blame; he had offered that night, and I...well I could have said no and walked away; sought out Mac and forced him to talk some sense into my muddled brain, but didn't and have been in hell ever since. _

_I ran after Mac, stormed into his office to demand an explanation. But when I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around to face me, his eyes allowed a single tear to escape and my heart shattered in an instant. He hadn't forgotten; he hadn't forgiven. He was still carrying the pain; and by not allowing himself to talk about it for the past number of weeks was finally starting to take its toll on his mental and emotional wellbeing._

_'I can't do this anymore,' he simply uttered before he pushed past me, headed into the hallway and was gone, taken into the night; away from me and a waiting explanation.  
_********

I finally hear someone knock on the glass and look up to see Lindsay watching me with a worried expression before she slowly pushes her way inside.

"You going to be okay tonight?"

"I'll be the same as I am every night."

"Without Mac and alone and miserable," Lindsay huffs. "The same as you have been for four years?"

"Almost four," I utter in misery. "Four years Lindsay and it still feels like he left yesterday. God I miss him so much."

"You can go and see him you know."

"I can't. I tried that once remember? He refused to see me. He's made his choice and has moved on with his life and I need to respect that and do the same with mine."

"But you can't can you?" She gently counters.

"I'll never be able to," I huff in sorrow. "Mac was my life and the only man I ever have and will ever love; and when he left and never looked back that life...that dream ended," I tell her as I swallow back my tears.

"You know you are always welcome with us for supper," she smiles as Danny walks past, overcoming his temporary paralysis a few months after the shooting.

"Thanks, but...I think I'll go home and..."

"You know it's supposed to be nice this weekend. Here is some motherly advice," she starts with a smile, forcing my own lips to curl up instead of down. "Take some time to go to Central Park. Sit on a bench, read or do whatever, but get out of your damn apartment!"

"I'll think about it."

Lindsay takes her leave and it's time for me to do the same. I push myself up, head into my office and reach for my purse. I allow my eyes to linger on a simple sheet of now discolored paper; a paper with three words that have burned themselves into my psyche, _'Mac Taylor Resignation.'_

I remember walking into the lab the following morning to see Mac and Sinclair embroiled in a heated debate and so wisely decided to wait until the coast was clear. I waited for at least at two hours, maybe longer; anxiously pacing the hallway outside until I was sure there were tread marks in the hardwood flooring. Another hour later and still nothing; both were pacing his office, exchanging heated words and hushed curses. If I had known then that Sinclair was trying to convince Mac not to leave, I would have marched in there and added my two cents for good measure; not that it would have done any good. Once Mac Taylor had made his mind up for anything, it was set in stone; as good as done. Finally another hour later, Sinclair exits and Mac is alone; alone and angry. He looks up, locks eyes with me but doesn't give me the slightest inkling that I'm wanted or invited so I regrettably take my leave; the once small rift between us, now rapidly developing into a gaping chasm.

After that Mac had made an uncharacteristic move; with a few hours of daylight still to be offered, he left work. No explanation; just gone, disappeared, returning the next day but not answering any questions. As I push my desk drawer closed, my mind replays the incident that led up to Mac Taylor's surprising resignation.

********  
_'Stella.'_

_'Morning, Chief Sinclair,' I had greeted our superior the following morning. I had spent the night before once again trying to track down my elusive co-worker to see what had forced him to take his leave so early in the day. Mac of course wasn't to be heard from; once again offering me the silent treatment when not in person, much the same as when around me the past few weeks. And as much as my mind and heart wanted to keep calling him my partner, that arrangement had ended; our friendship strained and our bond broken. _

_'What is going on?'_

_'Just a short staff meeting,' Sinclair informed me. 'I have some news that will impact this lab significantly.' I had followed after Sinclair into the standard staff meeting room and looked at Mac who hovered nervously near the front of the room. Sinclair waited for the rest of the main team to file in before closing the door and looking at all of us with a serious expression. _

_'I am going to keep this very brief. Mac has handed in his resignation and I...' Sinclair's voice trailed off as I locked eyes with Mac; my heart racing and my fists instantly balling to keep tears from coming. Did I drive him to do this? Would he even tell me if I asked him for the truth? 'Mac is going to be starting up a new lab in Chicago, his home turf, and we want to wish him all the best.'_

_The room was as silent as Sid's morgue; no one dared to even breathe as they looked at their fearless leader in shock and wonder. I couldn't breathe, my heart hurt to pump and my head was spinning. Mac said a few words of gratitude about their hard work and support before he calmly took his leave; forcing everyone into a panicked discussion about would happen next. Sinclair said that Mac had recommended me for his role and said I would have no trouble finding another co-lead if that was my wish. _

_I turned on my heal and raced for Mac's office, hanging up the call he was on and glaring at him until he was forced to raise his head and look at me._

_'Why Mac?'__ It was now my turn to question. 'Why the hell are you doing this?'_

_'This is a great opportunity and...'_

_'You're lying to me,' I interrupted in anger. 'This is because of me right? What happened that night?'_

_'I will not allow petty emotions to dictate my future.'_

_'Oh that's crap and you know it!' I threw at him and he narrowed his eyes but said nothing further. 'Mac, you can't just leave. You built this team! You love New York. It's your home.'_

_'You're wrong Stella. I did love New York and it used to be my home. I lost everything I loved about New York,' he uttered in a tormented tone. _

_'Mac...'_

_'It's over Stella. End of discussion.' He had said it with such forcefulness that I actually had to take a step back and examine the man before me to see if I was still talking to the same person I thought I was talking to. _

_'Please Mac, please don't do this. Don't do something you'll regret,' I beg in sorrow._

_'We have work to do,' he simply stated, forcing me to take my cue, swallow my rising guilt and walk out the same way I came in. No sooner did I step back into the hallway but I was bombarded with a million questions from every member of the team before Sinclair finally took me aside and started talking about what the next steps would be. 'You don't have to hurry into another co-supervisor if you don't want that. If you can work with the team and manage the load, I'll leave it for now,' he started...  
_********

And to this day, almost four years later, Mac's office is still empty; the undying hope that one day he'll return and we'll be the happy, cohesive team before all this went to hell that fateful night. Mac had given only two weeks; that was part of the biggest debate him and Sinclair had the day before. The rest of the day passed by faster than expected, with Sinclair parked in my office talking about what would be happening next, who I would now put as lead CSI, what roles would need to be filled if any in addition to Mac's and what other things I would need help with in making this transition.

_'Stella, you going to be okay?'__ Sinclair had asked._

_'No Sir, I doubt I'll ever be okay again,'_ _I had offered in truth and he just nodded in understanding before he left._

With a firm slam of my desk drawer, I offer a heavy sigh, push myself back upright and head for the door, putting on my coat as I head into the hallway. As I pass by Mac's office, toward the elevator I remember the last day before he left; before he took his leave and never looked back, forcing a hole into my heart that still hasn't closed.

_'Tomorrow is your last day and I was hoping for at least some kind of truce,' I had offered with a small cup of coffee as I stood before his desk. He slowly took the cup and put it down on the surface; his hand shaking and unable to raise the hot liquid to his lips._

_'I wish you all the best Stella,' he had told me in true Mac Taylor fashion. 'I know you'll find someone...'_

_'Mac, I have told this to Sinclair and he agreed and will give you my word right now; this office will remain empty until you are back here where you belong...where you belong...where you belong...'_

I had said those words over and over again; mostly to convince myself of that truth. However, he just nodded, said nothing further and stood up to leave. But I was right; Sinclair said if I wanted to leave it open, that was my choice; that if Mac wanted to come back, he could reapply and be considered, his official resignation with the NYPD never being filed; Sinclair simply saying he was on an extended LOA.

_'Mac, please don't do this,' I remember standing in his way, my eyes already teary. 'Please don't leave like this. We built up ten years. Ten years Mac, didn't it count for anything?'_

_'It did, but I guess only to me,'_ was all he offered with a sour wince, forcing a visible cringe from my face before he made his quick escape; leaving me to wallow in the suffocating silence of his now nearly empty office. I wanted to yell at him he was being stupid and we could get past this, but he never gave me the opportunity. He hardly looked at me through the rest of the day; his eyes afraid to connect with mine.

"Where to ma'am?" The cabbie asks me, once again pulling me back to reality. I give him my address and as per my morbid Friday night ritual, allow my mind to wander back to Mac. I remembered coming in the next morning and seeing his office empty and rushing for Chief Sinclair's office.

_'He's gone Stella. Left last night. Said he didn't want any fanfare on his last day, handed me his resignation letter and left. I'm sorry, he's gone. Mac Taylor is gone. Good for good.'_

I remembered slowly heading back to my office, burying my head in my folded arms and crying until I had no energy even to breathe; then I went home and did the same thing until I passed out from sheer exhaustion. _Mac's gone_, I would chant over and over again. _Mac's gone and it's all my fault...all my fault...all my...fault..._

The week that followed was painful; torturous and a burden. But as the days turned into weeks, weeks into months and then months into a year; reality had finally sunk in. Mac was gone and he wasn't coming back. I still couldn't bring myself to fill his position, every morning I'd greet the empty space with a firm smile, and every evening whisper goodnight before heading home in a thick cloud of gloom. I have never dated since and know I never will again; the only man I ever truly wanted in my life, I pushed away by turning to another; another who has since taken up residence with another co-worker, a perky blond, more his style and speed; more importantly someone who actually loves him and he loves back.

I reach home and slowly trudge to my fridge, letting my eyes linger on a small picture of me and Mac that I still don't have the courage or strength to remove. I remember I had called his mother after the first year had passed.

_'Millie?' I greeted his mother. 'It's Stella Bonasera from New York. I was um wondering if I could speak to Mac.'_

_'He's not here Stella, I'm sorry.'_

_'Right, okay well when he gets back...'_

_'No dear I'm sorry he's gone. He's left Chicago and I can't say where. I have my boy to protect.'_

_I stared at the phone for another eternity before I called the Chicago lab and asked for Mac Taylor. But I was told that he quit and left no indication as to where he was going; no forwarding address; no new number to contact. Mac Taylor was gone; gone for good. He didn't want to be found._

After that I stayed in bed for a week with severe depression and anxiety until Lindsay and Lucy paid me a visit, which of course lifted my spirits, forcing me back into the lab and to work. Another reason I never filled Mac's position, is it kept me even busier. That kept my mind from dwelling on the location of my beloved Mac; at least during the day.

Once again I would come home at the end of each night and do a search for any new listings for a Mac Taylor in the US; calling each one just to hear the sound of my Mac on the other end of the line. But he never answered and so a few months later I finally realized he didn't want to be found and that was it, I gave up physically trying but mentally praying that one day I would find him. I figured he rejoined the Marines, but a search of them turned up nothing.

A few months after that another blow that was dealt was Flack's subsequent resignation. He had justified his departure by saying that he just couldn't come into the precinct and see Jessica's empty desk or be reminded of his mis-guided actions to bring her killer to justice and had to find a change of scenery. As much as he hated to cross the water, a position opened up with one of the better Jersey precincts and he took it. There was a small party at Sullivan's but no one spoke much; Danny of course being affected the hardest.

A number of months after Flack started his new position, I got news that literally made my heart stop. As I put my dinner into the oven to cook I think back to that fateful mid-week morning.

_'Stella,' Danny greeted me with a perplexed look. Being lead CSI was starting to take its toll on the new father, but he always gave more than one hundred percent and took Mac's recommendation very seriously. 'Went and saw Don yesterday at his new home.'_

_'How is he?'_

_'He's good, we're good. I wandered by the CSI part of the building and um...well I met their new supervisor.'_

_'Yeah heard they had someone new.'_

_'Ever heard who?'_

_'Not much was said so I didn't press.'_

_'Should have.'_

_'Danny why is this relevant?' I had asked, not looking up. _

_'It's Mac. Our Mac,' he simply replied and I looked up in shock. 'Mac Taylor.'_

_'What?' I managed. 'Danny...'_

_'I guess he wanted to come back to New York...just not here.'_

_'How um...did he look?' I queried._

_'He looked okay. But he also looked tired, like all this has aged him a bit more than the rest of us,' Danny frowned. 'I couldn't talk for very long, it was um hard you know. But I just thought you should know.'_

He took his leave and once again I was distracted for an entire day. A few weeks past before I finally found the nerve to call Flack and get the straight goods myself.

_'Don, why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?'_

_'He asked me not to, but he's...I guess I couldn't keep it in any longer. Sorry.'_

_'Do you think it would be okay for me to stop by and see him?'_

_'He's different now Stella,' Flack had started with a heavy sigh. 'Doesn't stay late, doesn't work weekends, doesn't pound the bad guys anymore or rush in were angels fear to tread. All this has really changed him; kinda odd, but good at the same time. He did mention you one time and his face lit up,' Flack stated as tears silently rolled down my warm cheeks. 'Just in passing but it was a compliment. Don't give up just yet. But you do what you feel you must, I just can't involved, I'm sorry.'_

I had spent the rest of the day holding on to the tiny glimmer of hope that Mac didn't hate me after all and maybe just maybe my showing up there wouldn't cause more heartache than it had already done. _I can't give up on us just yet Mac, _I remember forcing that thought into my brain. _I won't give up. I want you back and I need to see you...even just once more._

I took an early leave for the day and headed into Jersey, my heart pounding faster as I neared his new place of employment. I remember walking slowly up the steps, my heart about to explode. I had heard they had gotten a seasoned supervisor from out of State, but it never occured to me that it could be Mac and he had done a masterful job of keeping himself and his name out of the news or any kind of headlines. Even on the odd case over the past year when we had to share anything with Jersey, his name never came up; he avoided us at all cost.

_'Is Mac Taylor in?' I remember asking the front desk clerk. _

_'Can I ask who's asking?' She wondered._

_'A friend,' is all I would offer. I wish I had said more as maybe that would have gotten me further, but in truth I wasn't sure how Mac would react hearing my name and I wanted to at least force him to come and see me in person. But he never came. I heard his soft voice whispering to the clerk and then prayed he'd come as the young woman hung up the phone. _

_'I'm sorry, but Detective Taylor is in a meeting right now. Can I take your name and he can call you later?'_

_'That's okay, thanks,' I had replied in sorrow, taking it as a sign that Mac didn't want to see me. Probably asking for my description and then upon getting it telling the clerk he was busy._ _I found out later from Flack that he wasn't in a meeting and my heart was broken once more. He didn't want to see me; plain and simple. _That was the only attempt I made and now and day still haunts me like no other. Even now, almost four years since he first left our lab, my heart still aches for him.

The oven dings and my dinner is done. Each night I would take my dinner to the table and eat alone in silence; my brain always wondering what Mac was doing and now what he did to unwind at the end of the day. Flack had told me that Mac doesn't work late any longer, never elaborated why, perhaps even he didn't know. I had called his office one time after hours just to listen to the brief voice mail that housed my Mac's beloved voice; allowing my mind to picture his handsome face talking to me before I would hang up; never having the courage to even say hello, that I missed him, was thinking of him and that I never stopped loving him. I couldn't; my mouth actually hurt to say those words.

I think about Lindsay's words about tomorrow being sunny and maybe, just maybe I'll break my solitary weekend ritual and head out to Central Park; a new industry journal with my name on it, begging to be read. With that somewhat cheerful thought I start into my dinner, telling myself as I do every Friday, that maybe this coming week will be the week I build up enough courage to go and see Mac once again.

I finish my dinner, put the dishes away and then head into the bedroom to change for the night. I put on something to sleep in and then push myself into bed, curling onto my side and whispering goodnight to Mac as I close my eyes and pray for sleep. My Friday ritual has come to another much needed close; all the memories tucked back into my mind, being carefully held for me to relive them yet again next Friday. And before I fall into total darkness, my prayer is that I'll be able to find my Mac once more and work at making amends; then to spend the rest of my life with the man I need; the man I love.

The next morning I wake up to the sun and actually feel a smile form on my lips. I push myself out of bed and head into the bathroom to get the day started. By mid afternoon, I get out of the cab, my bag over my shoulder, coffee in hand and am ready just to spend the next few hours, sitting and reading and trying to erase some of the past weeks' woes.

I wander to a place near a playground, less chance of any lone males passing by to get any ideas about stopping and asking for even a minute of my time. I don't have even a second for another man; all my mental and emotional energy belongs to one man, Mac Taylor; even if he's not here to receive it.

I hear children laughing and calling to one another as I look around for a place to sit. I near an area with a jungle gym and spy an empty bench and make a beeline for it. I round the base of a large tree to take my place when I stop short; my world coming to a sudden halt as I stare in shock at the man before me.

"Mac?" I utter in a dead whisper. Even with his back to me, I'd know him anywhere; his firm stance, his trademark haircut and his warm voice speaking to someone I can't see. I reach out my hand, but time holds me captive; unable to make myself known to the one person in the world I would sell my soul to acknowledge my existence right now.

"Mac," I try again with a little more force and am finally rewarded with him turning around to face me. My heart beats faster as I lock my green eyes with his warm blue ones and try to offer a timid smile. His handsome face is relaxed and I am thankful that the scowl he offered me before he left has been replaced by at least a placid expression; one of mild surprise. His arm rewards me with a small wave but his body makes no further attempts to come in my direction.

However, as I feel I was the guilty party here, I have no qualms about taking the next steps; especially if it means that Mac and I can at least exist on the same planet as two civilized adults, instead of two distant enemies. I take a few more steps, my heart racing but my world starting to slow as I near him. He is dressed in dark jeans and a black sweater and jacket and looks amazing; handsome just doesn't seem to do the man justice.

I close the gap to within a few feet and start to drown in the sapphire pools before me.

"Hi Stella," he starts in a soft tone, looking at me with a somewhat nervous expression, his body tense and unsure.

"Hi Mac," is all I can seem to offer in return, my brain wanting to say so many things that my mouth just doesn't know where to start. "How um...how are you?"

"I'm fine," he lightly frowns and I sense the tension and awkward anxiety as it continues to escalate.

"Yeah me too," I add when he doesn't ask in return; my world continuing to slow.

Then before I can say another word, a small boy with chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes runs up to him and wraps his arms around Mac's leg, looking up at him with a large smile. I watch Mac pick up the boy and look at me with a heavier frown, my heart about to burst at any second.

"Stella, this is Cameron Taylor, _my son_."

Then my world comes to a complete stop.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so yes very angsty start but please don't give up just yet! Hopefully you'll want to see/hear Mac's side and how he came to be where he is, with a kid and what is going to happen now; how they'll rebuild what they lost and what is in store given the circumstances. And remember this is me...my Mac belongs with Stella so please remember that if any OC's surface they are to add story details and interest not drive them apart for good. My SMACKED always lives happily ever after, well when we get there.

Well do you want more? Review and I'll know! OH and if you are going to flame and tell me that Mac would never do this and it's too OOC save yourself the humiliation it's fiction for pete's sake! And if you teared up, I am very sorry but I did to so you aren't alone! Just ask my two partners in crime, they can attest to my mental state while writing this! Lol Thanks again in advance!


	2. Destiny takes a Backseat to Reality

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 2 - Destiny takes a Backseat to Reality**

**A/N: **Okay thanks so much for the reviews to continue! I was so worried you'd all be too depressed to want more! Thanks for keeping the faith in AiP that our beloved smacked will survive and I swear this story will have lots happy and *squee* worthy moments (in addition to more angst) so please stick with it! Mac's POV in this chappy and then next chapter (if you still want it) will be both of them equally.

* * *

Seeing Stella right here brought back the past almost four years crashing down onto me with such force I was unable to do anything other than tell myself to breathe and try to stand upright without collapsing to the ground. I at first only thought I heard her call my name, my heart wanting to believe it but my mind telling me the same thing it has for four years; she's not coming back into your life and you are imaging it. But as I forced myself to turn and lock eyes with her my world came to a sudden stop. She moved toward me and I was frozen. Is this for real? Or is fate just being cruel once again? But I hear my name once more and curse myself as I found I was only able to offer a few lame words in reply before Cameron came running up, wanting to be picked up.

As I start to drown in the warm emerald pools before me, my brain forces me to think back on my actions; while at the time might have seem justified, were foolhardy and cowardly. And every day since, I have cursed myself for being such an arrogant bastard and allowing my future to be taken from me by jealousy and bitter hatred; emotions I had long since prided myself on keeping in line and in check especially in public.

I remember the day she told me as if it were yesterday; the words she uttered when she finally confessed to me her one indiscretion. Those words cut my heart in two that very instant and I was forever damned by my own actions that followed. When Danny had first told me, I laughed in his face.

_'Mac, did you um hear about the other night?'_

_'No, what night and what are you talking about?'_

_'Stella slept with Adam.'_

_'Yeah right.'_

_'Mac, I'm not lying. He told me and I swear to...'_

I remember hearing what Adam told him and then offering Danny the angriest curse I have spoken in my life before I headed off in search of my partner, not waiting for my rising anger to subside as I should have. I told her what I heard, my mind then begging for her to laugh and say it was a lie, some stupid rumor purported for idle gossip. But she didn't deny it; she admitted to it; my heart pierced through that very second. _What have I done_, I had asked myself? The last thing I wanted was to become so consumed with work that I would drive away the woman I know I loved into the arms of another man; even for one second, to force her to share her most intimate embrace with someone she wasn't even attracted to.

_'Why?'_ I had asked but really didn't want to hear the answer as I already knew it; I wasn't there. I wasn't available when she needed me most. That second...that second she told me, I condemned myself on the spot to a life of misery and solitude, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of my life alone as I told myself I so rightly deserved. I wanted to shout at her then, _I flew to Greece for you, offered you insight into my soul and this is how you repay me_? _Did it mean anything to you? Do I?_ But even then as I do now, when I look into her eyes, I cannot add to the obvious pain those emeralds are shielding; I love her too much.

But her words were the truth and that is what hurt me the most. Her actions were a result of my need to always put work before my own private life and this time it cost me; it cost me everything I hold dear in this world. She said she had called me first and each time my brain forces me to remember that, I curse my very existence until I am sick of hearing my own name. _I called you first Mac...called you first...called you first...needed you there...needed you...you...first..._

_'It's over Stella,'_ I had told her and I meant it right there and then. I remember going home that night, my mind and heart in turmoil as I replayed Stella's words over and over so many times that I actually threw up from anxiety and tension. That night, I had broken a plate, sprained my wrist and put a hole in the wall that even when I moved made up a paltry excuse to hide.

********  
_'Stella I'm so sorry,' I had whispered in regret as I slowly wandered into my bedroom the night of her confession and slumped on top of the mattress, not really expecting sleep to even want to visit me when I was in such a foul mood. I certainly didn't deserve sleep, nor did I merit the kind consolation that comes with some much needed rest._

_I headed into work the next day, my mind and heart in agony. She had tried to talk to me, to make small talk about a case but I would simply nod and direct her to Sheldon or Danny and take my leave. I had done that all week until finally Flack called me on my off behavior._

_'Mac?__ What the hell is going on with you?' Flack had dared to demand._

_'Nothing.'_

_'You almost killed that guy in there. Strange coincidence his name is Adam, don't you think?' Flack had questioned as he took me aside for privacy._

_'This is none of your business,' I snapped in anger._

_'When it affects my life in that room it is my damn business! What the hell is going on?'_

_'Stella slept with Adam.'_

_'Yeah I know. Danny told me. Sorry, I know you and Stella...'_

_'Are friends only.__ It's no big deal.'_

_'Liar.__ Friends aren't jealous enough to almost kill a complete stranger with the same name, as the man their supposed friend slept with. You love her Mac, or you wouldn't be this angry and pissed off!'_

_I remember looking at Flack with an angry frown before I was forced to acknowledge his words with a small nod. _

_'Have you talked to her about it?'_

_'Don, this isn't the time or place and I said to drop it!' I snapped in anger, looking at my friend with an angry scowl. I remember pushing my way out of the interrogation area, hoping to seek some solace in my office. But as I neared it and saw Stella waiting for me, I knew I couldn't find any peace of mind and so found an excuse to head to the lab and took the next call that came through. I knew I should have talked to her and heaven help me for being such an idiot for not doing so._

_The rest of the day was spent in an angry frame of mind; snapping at colleagues for no reason, breaking items that were within hands reach and cursing myself at every opportunity until I once again went home in miserable solitude.  
_********

I could no longer come into the lab, could no longer seek happiness in the comforting smile on my partner's beautiful face as she greets me knowing inside that I drove her into the arms of another man. And although she kept trying to convince me it would never happen again; that it was a stupid rash act done in a drunken state; I couldn't see past _the one time_, as I so often reminded her. I think I did it mostly of spite; spite for my own ignorance and stubbornness. Her paying the price for my childish ignorance.

After that I would go through great lengths to avoid her; once again proving that inside, I was just as insecure and jealous as the next man who happened to be slighted by another, a man losing his grasp with reality and the promise of future happiness with a woman he was in love with. Mine was now gone; my happy future with Stella taken away by my own actions. That was the biggest part of why I needed to avoid her; to keep from reminding myself of the mistake _I made_ in allowing this to happen. I had to be in control; at least that's how I justified it to myself at the time. Boy was I wrong.

Avoiding her after she told me and until the time I snapped at Adam; uttering an unjustified remark, still haunt my waking hours. Instead of taking such rash steps, I should have taken her aside and talked it through until both of us reached an amicable conclusion. But that wasn't to be. After I said that to Adam, I didn't even have the nerve to look at him as a leader; more like a petty high schooler, spurred on by petty jealousy. I had lied to Stella when she told me about her and Adam; telling her that I was fine and that nothing about her actions affected my decision to run away and hide like a coward instead of facing life like the trained solider I portray to the world around me.

She had followed me to my office and tried to force an explanation.

_********  
__'I can't do this anymore,' I had told her. And while I might have fooled everyone else, including my superior into thinking that I was talking about work, I meant being around Stella and not having control on my inner emotions or romantic intentions._

_And when I stated those words I had made up my mind right there that I needed to leave. Not just a holiday for a few weeks or leave for a few months; but a real break, a change of scenery and a fresh start. On the cab ride home I didn't allow my mind to ponder the reasoning that I might be doing something very rash and out of character but in truth, Stella was my life; my reason for actually wanting to get out of bed each day and face the world head on with her at my side. Thanks to my own actions, that bond was broken. One time she had insisted after it happened but I was too narrow minded to actually acknowledge the sense that sentiment actually made. _

_Adam had tried to approach me on several occasions, offering me the same explanation as Stella; he was drunk, she was there and it was stupid and he was sorry. But I didn't listen._

_That's when I made the decision to actually sit down and write my resignation. I had left a voice message for Sinclair and wasn't surprised when he stormed into my office the following morning._

_'What the hell is this Taylor? You are giving me two weeks notice just like that?'_

_'There is a lab in Chicago that...'_

_'Yeah I talked to Chief Rogers. But what is prompting this? I thought you and I...'_

_'Sir, it has nothing to do with any particular person,' I had offered in half truth. 'This is an opportunity to go back home and build a brand new lab from the ground up. I am recommending Stella for supervisor and Danny lead CSI. I think that...'_

_Sinclair and I had argued for the next few hours straight, him never accepting anything that I had to offer in the way of an excuse or explanation as to my current and presumed rash actions. Finally when he saw I wasn't backing down he finally gave in and took his leave. He called a staff meeting and I felt like I was back in the General's office the first day of the Marines. All eyes were on me, but it was Stella's gaze I tried to avoid the most. As expected as soon as I took my leave she followed and I was heart sick to hear the pain in her voice when she begged me for the truth; wondering if I had done this because of her. It was, but I couldn't bring myself to admit those horrible words._

_We argued for a few minutes and I knew then as I have known everyday since that she didn't believe my excuse and I have had to live with the pain I have caused her due to all that. The torment in her eyes was an image that I would try to erase from my mind as I'd try to fall asleep every night but the same image I that would greet me every morning when I would finally pull myself from my few minutes of slumber. _

_I tried to tell her she'd do a great job and my very soul ached with every word that we exchanged until that day was over. I knew when Friday came that I would be bombarded with feelings and emotions that I wouldn't be able to recover from, so when Thursday rolled around, I spent all night packing up the rest of my office, having the boxes sent to Chicago, handing my official letter to Sinclair before I just stood in my empty office and listen to the silence. My heart is beating so fast that I think my ear drums were going to shatter; my body shaking. It was more cowardice on my part to leave without saying goodbye and have forever regretted it, much like saying the past ten years meant nothing to her. What a fool I was._

_'I can do this,' I whispered to myself in misery as I numbly walked into the hallway and glanced in the direction of Stella's office, feeling my eyes water instantly and a lump in my throat that I was unable to swallow. 'Goodbye Stella,' I offered in torment. 'I hope one day you can forgive me.'_

_And with that I turned and headed for the elevator, made it down to the street and never looked back. I had already made arrangements with my mother to stay with her while I figured out what to do next. I flew to Chicago that night; my apartment already emptied, most of my stuff in storage for now. The first week at home, I lay in my old bed and slept; my energy never fully returning._

_'Have you emailed Stella at all?' My mother had asked in loving concern._

_'I can never face her again,' I had offered in regret. 'Not after what I said and did or how I treated her.'_

_'One day McCanna,' my mother had told me then in a kind but firm tone. 'One day, she'll come back into your life and you'll hold onto her and never let her go.'_

_'Won't ever happen mother. I lost her by my own words and actions and I'll be alone forever like I deserve. Can't believe I actually did all this.'_

_'Trust me son, one day she'll come back into your life and you'll do what you need to keep her where she belongs.'_

_'And where is that?'_

_'At your side; as I know she'll never leave your heart.'_

_'She's gone mother. Gone for good,' I had tried to argue.  
_********

But my mother wouldn't listen, as if fate itself had visited her and told her that this day; today, was coming and for her to be patient, her son's happiness would be restored with a little time and a lot of hard work. I missed Stella. I missed her then and even looking at her now, I still feel that inside. I love her, that feeling never left.

"Mac?" Her quivering voice finally forces me back to reality. "Your son?"

"My son," I repeat with a mental curse. I had wanted to tell her over the past few years; to pick up the phone and tell her everything that happened but never found the courage and so today was destined to occur sooner or later. And as much as I have almost been dreading today; wondering how I would be judged for my actions since it was I who made her feel guilty for the very thing I am now guilty of; I am glad today has finally happened. Tomorrow finally came; only one more tomorrow to get too; the promise of happiness that I hope we both want. But for now...for now we have a lot of hard work to do to get there.

"Cameron can you say hi to Stella?" I gently nudge my son, planting a warm kiss on his plump cheek.

"Hi Stella," Cameron lightly whispers and I see the lump in Stella's throat, probably the same size as mine. "Daddy? Can I play on the slide?" He looks at me with a slight frown; his expression mirroring my own.

"Sure, just for a few more minutes."

"Kay," Cameron replies as he slides down my side and I watch as he runs over to the slide and starts to intermingle with another boy; allowing me another few precious moments with Stella. I turn back to her, my heart racing as I gesture for us to sit down close by. We wander over to a small bench and both slowly sit down; my eyes still on my son.

"Has to burn off more energy," I offer meekly.

"He's beautiful," she whispers and my fists tighten. "He's you."

"He's um...he's a great kid," I sigh. "Gosh Stella I don't even know where to start," I huff as I quickly look away; unable to show her a vulnerable Mac Taylor. I don't think I've earned the right to show myself in such a state; no matter what my heart might be trying to urge.

"How about the words I forgive you?" She queries, forcing me to look back with sorrow in my gaze. She wants my forgiveness? How do I tell her the truth about Cameron? How do I tell her that it should be me begging for forgiveness? _Just tell her, my brain demands. _

"Stella I can't," I manage and she offers a firm nod and a small swallow as she looks away.

"Right," she whispers as my first uncurls and tries to reach out to touch her shoulder; a gesture that could garner me an early death if not executed properly. She turns back to me with a determined stare and my hand automatically retreats to its original position at my side.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that...Stella I can't because there is nothing on my part to forgive."

"Mac I..."

"Stella I was the one who walked out without even saying goodbye, without listening to reason, without listening to you, I was the coward," my voice trails off in a dead whisper, my throat hard to swallow. "I should never have left."

"Why didn't you come back?"

"I have asked myself that a million times over and come up with the same answer, I didn't deserve it. I had worked so hard to build up that lab, hand pick that team and then just turned my back for...for no real reason."

"But..." she starts as she moves in a little closer; just as Cameron calls to us and I look at him; the moment between us broken as we both quickly separate.

"I know I shouldn't have left. But once I did, I just couldn't go back. Not after how I acted...what I said...what I did...it rested with me and I was to blame. Never forgave myself for how I treated everyone, especially you."

"Mac, please don't..." she begs me and my heart starts to beat painfully in my tight chest. "There is so much to say. But I...I don't know where to start either. I have so many questions, so much to tell but..."

"Don't you want to known about his mother?" I ask in haste, wanting the truth about my son to come out as soon as possible; telling myself the rest of the details can wait.

"Almost too afraid to ask," she confesses and I close my eyes in misery. When I open them, I see her eyes drop to my left hand and then look back up at me when she sees there is no band of gold; nothing to declare to the world around me that I now belong to someone else; that I am sharing a future with the mother of my son; once again dashing whatever hopes for us that might have been lingering.

"I'm not married," I inform her and her face frowns in wonder.

"Oh," is all she can muster.

I look over at my son who looks back and offers me another loving smile; warming my heart with such a simple gesture. "Stella, the reason I can't offer any forgiveness is because I need to ask it from you."

"Mac? There is nothing to ask. I was the one that hurt you," she starts in haste; her words almost jumbling together as if I might leave and we'll never get another opportunity to mend this gaping wound. "I was the one that..."

"Cameron is the result of an error on my part; a product of the very thing I was angry at you for not confessing to me first," I offer without taking a breath.

She looks at me in shock; the full impact of my words finally starting to register. "What?" She asks, her fists clenching into balls like mine to keep her emotions in check in such a public place.

"He's the result of a one night stand Stella," I sigh heavily as I look down; unable to lift my eyes once more. "So I can't still be upset at you for something I myself did."

We sit in silence for what seems like forever until her soft voice breaks it once more, words I never hoped to have to justify myself for.

"When um...when did it happen?"

But I take a breath and know this is something that I need to do; mostly for my own peace of mind, but also so that Stella and I can finally start to heal, something I pray we both want.

"Just after I moved back to Chicago," I start into my confession with a racing heart once again. My brain forces me to relive that fateful night as I slowly start into my indiscretion with Stella; leaving out a few details that my brain will never forget. She told me about her sordid affair and I know inside that I owe her this; if we are ever to even think about rebuilding at least a friendship; the truth has to play an important role. And while it will only take a few minutes to tell her, inside it will feel like a painful lifetime will have passed.

"It was my first week after I left New York, and my mother insisted I go out. I went to an old hangout and I guess...I guess I started drinking...a bit too much..."

********  
_I remember sitting at the bar, my mind racing with misery and anger; Stella's face unable to be erased; her tormented expression haunting me with every sip of alcohol I took. _

_'Hey honey this seat available?' A woman who resembled Stella asked me as she eased herself into the barstool beside me with an inviting smile. And throughout the night others would approach but I would shoo them away; I wanted her, Stella. But since she wasn't there, I allowed one who looked liker her; and damned myself the instant I gave in. __I didn't offer an answer, only a firm nod of my head before I turned back to my sixth shot of whisky as she sat down beside me. _

_'Looks like you got it bad.'_

_'Why do women have one night stands if they claim they care about someone else?' I managed to ask in a somewhat drunken slur. 'What is meaningless sex for anyways?'_

_'Sometimes to feel alive, sometimes to forget life, sometimes to get even, sometimes because we know we can and sometimes because we are lonely.'_

_'And you're here why?'_

_'I'm lonely,' she smiled as she leaned in closer, her hand on my thigh, moving higher. I offered a deep swallow and sharp intake of air as her fingers moved higher still. I knew I should have moved back but didn't.  
_********

"She was there, Anna. Said she was lonely and then...I guess I wasn't thinking straight...I was drunk..."

_'I'm Anna.'_

_'Mac.'_

_'Well Mac,' she purred in my ear, her lips already on my face. 'Here is the deal. You're drunk and so am I. The hotel next door rents rooms by the hour and we are both going to get laid tonight.'_

_I had offered her a small snort but she persisted and before I knew it, we were in the hotel room, clothes off, naked bodies on the bed and meaningless sex well underway; neither caring about protection in our drunken state._

"I woke up the next morning, wondering what the hell I did. I got out of there as fast as I could and went back home. She said she was lonely," I choke back as I look away once again. "That's why you can't expect me to offer anything but an apology for what I put you through," I confess, my eyes fixed on Cameron not the sad expression of the woman to my left. Stella gently touches my arm and forces me to look back at her. "I made you feel guilty and I had no right and I'm sorry."

"Mac..."

"Stella do you forgive me?"

I wait with baited breath; my heart racing so fast that she might just shake her head no, curse me for being so stupid and leave right now; as I would so rightly deserve. "You have every right to be angry and pissed and..."

"I forgive you Mac."

"Why?"

"I care."

"You still do?" I ask in shock.

"I never stopped."

"But..."

"And I guess because we are both human and..."

"And we both made a terrible mistake," my voice ends in a whisper.

"Do you forgive me?" Stella asks.

"If you need to hear me say it then I forgive you. But trust me Stella, there is nothing to forgive. I'm just sorry I hurt you. I still care about you, if that means anything."

Stella's eyes glisten as a few tears escape and slowly slide down her cheeks. I watch the tears, wanting more than anything to reach out and brush them away, but feel my touch isn't welcomed yet and can only watch as her fingers beat mine to the action and wipe her face dry. "It does, more than you might know right now," she whispers and I my heart finally relaxes a little.

"Where is she? Cameron's mother?"

"With her now husband Mike, in Iraq or maybe Germany. I don't really know," I admit in truth as I offer another heavy sigh; my brain once again forced to relieve painful memories of the past; a past I shouldn't have faced without Stella Bonasera at my side. "She dropped off my son before she left."

"What?"

"It was Saturday night, almost two years ago," I start into my next painful confession. "I was at home trying to unwind when I get a knock on the door..."

********  
_'Hold on I'm coming!' I called out as the knocking persisted. I opened the door and stared at the woman I should have known, my brain still fuzzy as to her confirmed identity._

_'Mac Taylor right?'_

_'That's right, do I know you?'_

_'You did one night a few years ago.'_

_'Pardon?'_

_'I'm Anna. Anna Nicholson from Jester's Pub in Chicago.'_

_'Right, do you want to come in?'_

_'Sure. Just for a few minutes,' she told me as she walked into my apartment, a small boy held firmly in her arms. _

_'Is something wrong?'_

_'That night you asked me why women have one night stands? I told you the truth, at that time I was lonely. But in truth I'm with a man I love very much. My boyfriend, Mike, who was away in Iraq at the time and I just needed to feel...god I'm sorry if I sound pathetic and everything but I needed just to feel something and you were there and...anyways that night I wasn't on the pill and you didn't use protection and...and I guess there is no easy way to say this so...this is Cameron, your son.'_

_'What?' I asked in shock, my world crashing to a halt. 'My what?' I had looked past her to the boy, my brain refusing to notice that he did in fact look like me. 'This is not possible. Is this a joke or something?'_

_'No. I am telling you the truth. I had Cameron when Mike was away and didn't want to give him up for adoption, so raised him for two years while Mike was in the field; he's in the Army. But when he was back for a leave, he was pissed and threatened to leave me, saying how could I screw anther guy while he was off in the field; much less have a kid. And he was right. Mac, I'm so sorry but...well since then Cameron has become a bit of a painful reminder of what I did and since then Mike and I fought constantly; he resents him more than I thought he would. He didn't want kids; and in truth neither did I. Then I too got the call to ship out to Iraq and I knew I couldn't take a kid with me. I didn't want to give him up to adoption and...and I have done my duty to him for two years now it's time to go and serve my country. l told Mike I was coming to Iraq to be with him and that I contacted you and said you'd take your son and he agreed and well that's why I'm here. Think of me what you want but in truth you are all he has now.'_

_'Hold on a second. Your duty? Your duty is to your son before your country and trust me if anyone knows patriotism it's me.'_

_'I would have come sooner if I had gotten the call sooner. As I said, think of me what you want but...'_

_'I can't take him. He needs a real family.'_

_'Sorry Mac, he's yours now. I don't love you and I can't take him. I am sorry about all this, but I'm leaving tonight.'_

_'Anna, I can't take him...I can't have a kid...' I tried to protest as she stood up to leave, putting down the boy and walking up to talk to me in private, Cameron on a chair playing with a small toy._

_Anna looks at me in remorse, her eyes wet and her body lightly shaking. 'I have thought long and hard about this but in truth Mike has told me he will never love him like his own son and I can understand that. But I just can't have Cameron growing up unwanted and unloved in a house full of strangers. It's not fair to him to pay for something that we did. I love Mike, he's my life and I want to be married to him. Mike doesn't want him and he would resent Cameron if I insisted I keep him; but if I left Mike I would come to resent Cam because I really love Mike and Cameron doesn't deserve just half ass love either. I want to be with Mike but I want Cameron to grow up loved and I know I can't give him that. He's your son. You can give him that. He should grow up loved and wanted. Both my parents are dead and I was an only child.'_

_'Anna...'_

_'I know you'll probably hate me right now but if you need help with any medical stuff here is my cell number; but trust me, he's a strong healthy kid. Cam has been told the truth of sorts but...well he might not understand right now but I know you'll help him get through this,' she finishes in a soft whisper, some tears falling down her cheeks. She quickly brushes them away and pastes on a tight smile. 'He's yours Mac.'_

_'Anna, I'm sorry I just can't.' But she didn't listen to my protests._

_'Mike is waiting for me and I'm going to be with him; he agreed to this solution for Cam also. After Iraq we are going to Germany on special assignment. He'll be safe here with you. I'm trying not to sound like a cold hearted bitch and yes I care but in truth I can't have him with me; I am not sure I really did, I just didn't want an abortion and had a hell of a time tracking you down after I had weaned him.'_

_'Didn't want to be found,' I offered in truth. 'Are you sure he's mine?'_

_'I had a paternity test done and since your DNA was on file with the NJPD a confirmed match was given,' she stated as she handed me a shoebox of stuff. 'Cameron Justin Taylor is your son; Cam or CJ if you want, and this is all you'll need to...well to do whatever. Please Mac...this is hard enough as it is. I might not want Cam but he's still my son and I do have some affection for him. That is why I want the best for him and I know that is not me.'_

_I was speechless as I looked past her to the boy and then back to her. Anna picked up Cameron and brought him to me. 'Cameron this is your daddy, you are going to live with him now.' Cameron looks from his mother to me and frowns. 'Here you go Mac,' she said, shoving my son into my open arms. 'He's yours now.'_

_'Mommy...' Cameron starts to thrash about._

_'Anna I can't,' I state in haste as I try to control the struggling boy in my arms._

_'Goodbye Mac Taylor. Take care of your son,' Anna states before she turns and rushes out of the room, slamming the door behind her._

_'Mommy!' Cameron shouts as he struggles to get ouf omy arms and head for the door to go after her. I quickly grab him and place him on a nearby chair and rush into the hallway after Anna; who had done a good job of reaching the stairwell and disppearing out of my life__. Then I hurried back i__nside, sat down on a chair and just watched him for what seemed like forever; until he looked up and I saw myself looking back at me and my heart knew what I had to do.  
_********

"Then she just turned and headed for the door, leaving my mouth open and a small boy rushing for the door wondering where his mother had gotten to," I continue, my eyes fixed on my son as he plays on the slide, once again unable to look at Stella as I confess my sordid escapade to her in veiled detail. "I looked through the box and sure enough everything she told me was the truth; he was my biological son. She had left a letter saying she was sorry but she got him through breast feeding, potty training and a few other things and now I had to raise him. _On my own_," I dare to whisper as I finally look back up, a silent tear escaping my eye and starting to slide down my cheek.

Stella's delicate fingers move to my face to brush it away and I close my eyes for a few seconds as my face delights in the feel of her soft skin on my rough cheek; a gesture that will carry me through until we meet again; _if _we'll meet again.

"Mac, I'm..."

"Stella, please let me finish. This is hard enough as it is."

"Okay. What happened then?"

"I remember racing into the hallway calling Anna to come back and take him, but she was gone so then I hurried back into my apartment and looked at the boy with a frown. I must have watched him well into the morning. He just sat there and cried, and I was too scared to even touch him. At first when I tried he just yelled and so I fell back and allowed him his space. I looked into his face and saw myself, abandoned, scared and alone. He cried until he was tired and then..._daddy..._he had finally said to me a few hours later with such a sad tone, and my heart broke in that instant. I guess hearing him call me that simple term of endearment cemented him in my mind and heart that second and I knew I couldn't give him up for adoption; could never...so I chose right then and there to raise him on my own..." my voice trails off and she offers a firm nod as Cameron comes running back to us, fatigue now starting to take hold. I gather him into my arms and hold him close, whispering to him to close his eyes and just rest; we'd be going back home very soon.

I take a pause and look at her with a heavy frown, but when she says nothing I feel the need to continue.

"I called my mother that minute, I needed help and um...I couldn't call anyone else. Couldn't admit what I did to anyone else," I admit in shame, my eyes searching hers for any kind of forgiveness.

"Mac you could have told me."

"No...no I couldn't. I wish I did but...I just couldn't. So I called my mother. She asked no questions, only said she'd be there on the next flight. After leaving the house to sell in the care of a friend, two weeks later, she moved in next door; to an apartment I was able to get for her and she takes care of him while I am at work. I kept it from everyone; in fact most at work still don't know."

"Do you ever hear from her? Anna?" Stella asks with some hesitation, I assume, wondering how big a role this strange woman plays in my life.

"No, I assume she's married now. I had gotten an email about a month after she left about some money she had saved and was sending, but that was it; cold and informal. She's kept true to her words; she never was interested in him. And that is okay with me. I never knew her; and only Cameron binds me to her. In truth, I don't want to know her and have never called her for any reason. She's not important to me other then..."

"Giving you a son," Stella states with a wince, those four words, I'm sure cutting through her like a knife.

"Stella...as much as I hate the way this will sound, she means nothing to me. She never did and never will. I'm glad she's moved on and gotten married," I insist but can tell it's eating away at her brain and I wonder if I have just hung myself with a very short rope. "You might not believe me right now, but I hope you do one day."

"I want to Mac. Does um...Cameron ever ask about her?" Stella gently queries, nodding to the beautiful sleeping boy, now held firmly in my strong grasp.

"He does on the odd occasion and I tell him that she's in the army and he's not allowed to visit. I figured to lie to him would do more harm than good, but I just can't tell him that she didn't want him. He doesn't quite understand but we try. No one else knows. Don found out but I managed to swear him to secrecy with the offer of a good word on a tough case that garnered him a raise."

"He told me. I came to see you."

"I know, Don told me later," I sigh heavily. "He had finally stopped by to ask how it went and I..." I stop and look at her in remorse. "I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you. I just couldn't face you. Not after what I did to you. Not after doing the same thing myself that resulted in well...a child. I was ashamed and thought...damn it Stella, I'm sorry, I just couldn't face you. But I know I should have."

"I thought you didn't want to see me because you hated me," she manages in sorrow and I quickly shake my head no.

"No Stella, I could never hate you. No matter what. I never did. But I could understand if you still feel some resentment toward me for all this."

"Mac I never..."

"Stella it was me who acted like an ass and left without even saying goodbye like a mature adult. It was me who said that our ten years only meant something to me. How could you not hate me?" I ask in a dead whisper.

"Because I can't...I never did and never could. No matter what."

She looks at me before offering me a firm nod as confirmation, Cameron stirring in my arms. "I should go...but..."

"But I too have so much to say after so long being apart," she finishes and my lump has reappeared in my throat. She looks at me, our eyes lock, both searching for an answer from the other to the question about whether this will be a one time meeting or if we now can start to slowly rebuild the amazing bond we had before our lives went to hell in a hand basket. Can we get back to where we were before?

"Stella, my life has changed."

"Yeah I hear you don't pull all-nighters anymore. So this is what it takes to..."

"Stella..."

"No Mac, its okay," she gulps. "I think you have your priorities right."

I don't have them right, I want to tell her. You were my priority and I allowed myself to lose sight of that.

"I'm working on it," I confess in truth.

Stella looks at me; her gaze starting to bore into my soul and I for the first time in a long time start to feel like I'm being inspected and found wanting, unable to measure up to high standards put in place so long ago. But then her face softens and my mind is at ease once again.

"I um..." I start with uncertainty as Cameron shifts once more and I know I need to get him home.

"Home dadda..." he mumbles.

"I should let you get him home," Stella finally offers with a firm tone and the moment has finally broken. Will it ever be repaired? "We've missed a lot Mac. I've um...missed a lot..."

"I've missed...y...a lot too," I echo, wanting to believe she missed me and wanting to tell her that I missed her also but not sure if her life has changed much and I'm not the special male in her life that I once used to be. How the hell could I even presume that after all this time? Don had told me that after that night with Adam, Stella never dated, never entertained that thought and when I left, never even looked again at another man. And while I want to believe that, I wonder if he just told me that to spare my fragile ego at the time. How can she not be seeing anyone, she's still the most amazing and beautiful woman on the planet? I want to ask, but at the same time, maybe it's better not knowing.

We both slowly stand up and I look at her weakly, Cameron's head firmly planted on my shoulder, his slightly parted lips offering warm breaths onto my exposed neck.

"Stella..." I start, only to be quickly interrupted.

"Promise me one thing Mac."

"Anything," I state in haste.

"It won't be almost another four years before we exchange anything; even a simple sentence."

"Stella..."

"Mac, I know I hurt you and I have paid for that every day of my life. I have..." she starts only to have me finally reach out and gently touch her shoulder, stopping her instantly and forcing her to look up at me in wonder.

"I was going to agree with you."

"You were?" She asks in disbelief.

"You make it seem like you are the only one who has something to pay for. Like you were the only one who hurt the other," I offer with a heavy frown. "I screwed up also. At least you only affected me and..."

"Thanks for putting it so delicately."

"Sorry."

"It's okay," she smiles firmly.

"What I meant was, I have...I guess it doesn't matter does it," I huff and she looks at me with a strained expression.

"It does to me," she states in a nearly dead whisper. "You have a son now and I understand this will also affect him."

We stand in silence a bit longer; each unable to actually make the first move to leave; to break the connection for fear once again it will be lost. I don't want her to go; in truth I wish I could stay here all night until we had exhausted every missed minute for the past four years. I have time, right? But things have changed now, I have a kid to think about and I can't just assume that she'll even want to be more than a friend after she learns the whole truth, not just the snippets offered today.

"I want to see you again Mac."

"You do?" I ask in surprise, a small smile finally starting to tug at the corner of my mouth.

"Do you want that?"

"More than anything," I admit in truth; almost afraid to utter those three words in case they weren't accepted as much as I want them to be. "Do you really want that?"

"I do."

"Great," I echo nervously. "I'll call you."

"You will?" She asks in almost disbelief.

"I will."

"Okay, I'd like that. So I guess I'll see you later."

"See you later Stella. Should we um...I mean I can just drop him off and..."

"Mac."

"Yeah?"

"You'll call me. Take your son home."

"Okay."

I switch Cameron to my other arm as I regrettably take my leave; wanting more than anything to call my mother to come and get Cameron so that I could take Stella to a more private setting and try to right past wrongs. But she insisted that I take him home and I don't want to scare her away. Maybe she needs to be alone now? But I do have to wonder if after she has really had a chance to digest all that I offered to her today, if she'll even want that second meeting. She might go home and decide after all I told her, that she's glad I'm out of her life. Damn I hope not!

But when I turn back I see that she is watching me and I can't help but offer a shy smile, to which my heart swells when she offers me one in return. I look back a second time and she's gone. However, the brief hour that we shared today was one of the most enjoyable hours I have spent in the past number of years; once again cementing in my mind and heart that no other woman on the planet will ever hold that special place inside that Stella Bonasera does. And as painful as it was, it needed to happen and I am praying that when I call she'll accept and we can start fresh. But as I carefully bundle Cameron into his car seat in the back of the small SUV and get into the front, my mind now wonders what if anything will happen now. Damn, I hate feeling like this.

I head home in a state of wonder, something not lost on my mother as I enter my apartment; put my son into his bed for his nap and then walk back outside to join her.

"You've never come back from the park with that look on your face. I guess you're glad you went to Central Park today instead of the local one?"

"_Sh_e was there mom," I state numbly, my small smile quickly changing to a heavy frown.

"Who?"

"Stella."

"Stella Bonasera?" She manages weakly. "You saw her today?" She asks with a happy smile. "Really? Did you talk to her also?"

"Yes," I nod numbly, looking at her with a blank stare. She takes me by the arm and leads me to the couch and slowly sits down beside me. "I was with Cameron and she was there...damn I didn't ask why, should have asked why and she..." my voice rambles off before my mother squeezes my arm and forces me to stop.

"Slow down and start from the beginning. Now talk to me son, what did she say?" My mother kindly urges as I just shake my head and look away, the painful expression on her beautiful face after I told her the truth now making it hard for me to breathe or even think straight.

"I can't do this."

"McCanna, before you say something you don't mean, look at me and tell me what exactly happened. She's back in your life for a reason and I want to know what just took place."

"Why does it matter?"

"Becuase every healing process needs a beginning and this sounds like the start you both have been waiting for..."

* * *

**A/N**: okay so the rest of the gaps, about Mac going to NJ, talking to Don, and a few other things will be filled in as we go along. So still liking it? Still want to see if smacked can make it work? Not to teary eyed to press the review button and leave me a comment? Please let me know and thanks in advance it's what keeps me and my stories going for you guys!


	3. The First Step Toward Tomorrow

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 3 - The First Step Toward Tomorrow**

**A/N:** Okay so more back and forth from now on. My trademark 8 X's (XXXXXXXX) will mean switching between people when together and solid line breaks when switching between locations, them not together. Hopefully this isn't confusing but if you can think of a better way I'm all ears! Thanks again in advance and here we go, not as much angst!

* * *

I watch Mac walk away, his son still held firmly in his grasp before I literally collapse to the bench beside me, unable to get my legs to stop shaking and my heart to stop racing. I close my eyes, willing my head to stop spinning; the handsome face of Mac Taylor now burned back into the forefront of my psyche.

"Mac..." I dare to whisper, my eyes still offering fresh tears, my chest painful to breathe. "Mac has a son..." I dare myself to even acknowledge. "The result of a one night stand." I allow myself another brief cry before I remind myself I am in public and need to pull it together until I get home; then I can officially breakdown.

His words made perfect sense why he ignored me when I came to see him that day; he couldn't face me, he said it himself. Being the proud and private man he was, he wasn't able to acknowledge the fact that he had condemned me for something that he did himself; that he allowed his actions to be dictated by the very thing he himself was guilty of. But seeing him here today, talking to him; looking into his warm blue eyes and hopefully rekindling that rare spark that two people share, gave me the smallest glimmer of hope. A hope I now cling to with every breath I take.

_Anna, she's in Iraq with her husband Mike. She didn't want kids, never did. Cameron is my son...my son...my son..._The small face of Mac's precious son is now burned into my brain beside the handsome face of his father. Right from the gently lifted eyebrows, the short chocolate brown hair, to the soft but firm jaw and the warm blue eyes, he's Mac. Only a slight dusting of freckles over the bridge of his nose; a small identifier of the woman who has biological motherly claim. I at once feel hatred and envy for a woman I never met, and hopefully never will. A woman, who not only shared an intimate embrace with a man I so badly wanted that from; but helped bring into the world his son; a privilege I doubt I'll ever share.

"How could she leave him like that?" I dare to ask myself in sorrow, shaking my head and telling myself that my dream isn't going to come true anytime soon, that she'll come back, remembering what an amazing man Mac is and want to be a family with him. But I quickly remind myself that they shared only one meaningless, drunken night and then she spent the next two years weaning her son and then trying to track him down; finally finding him, courtesy of the New Jersey Police Department and then dropping his son at his doorstep before she disappeared. She is now married and he never spent time with her and so that gives me the hope that I still remain the only woman in his life. Stella! I command myself in anger. How the hell could you even presume something like that right now? I know I shouldn't; but I selfishly want to. But once again his words about still caring for me, tell me that I still might be the only woman in his heart and mind; something I pray is the truth.

I lean back on the bench, trying to force the warmth from the sun to calm my nervous shivering; actions brought on by a chance encounter with a man I too have been seeking for the past number of years. Seeing him again today brought back so many emotions that I was unable to do much else, but watch his lips move and force my brain to make room for whatever he was wiling to share; my heart already wide open.

_I need him_. _I need him in my life at my side where he belongs_. I look back at the spot Mac was which it's now empty; devoid of his presence, but not devoid of hope. In times like this, I wish Jessica as here; a friend I could turn to in times of great emotional stress. But after Mac departed, Lindsay and I drew closer; the younger woman offering me a strong emotional shoulder and means of escape from mental insanity when I feared the world closing in around me without Mac at my side to pull me back up.

Taking another deep breath I push myself up, force my legs to work properly and slowly head back to the entrance of Central Park; getting into a cab and then giving them the Messer address. I lean my head back on the seat of the cab and allow my chest to offer another exhale before I close my eyes, praying for the tears to stop and my heart to slow so I can at least present some semblance of a normal adult to my friends when I see them shortly.

_Mac,_ my brain whispers, forcing my eyes back open and a frown to appear on my face. I want to call Flack right now and tell him off for not at least telling Danny, knowing inside that Lindsay never would have kept something like that from me. But Flack had given Mac his word, and from all this I have learned how valuable a thing like the truth and trust really is. I finally reach Lindsay's, pay the cabbie and then start the slow climb up the stairs to their apartment, opting to burn off some nervous tension instead of allowing it to simmer in the slow elevator ride to their floor.

I knock on the door with some hesitancy and then smile when I hear Lucy's laughter and Lindsay calling to me she's coming. She pulls the door open and stares at me in shock, my eyes instantly watering.

"Stella?"

"I just talked to Mac."

"What? Where?" She practically yells, before she grabs me by the arm and literally drags me into the living room past a wondering Danny and a smiling Lucy. I slowly sit down; suddenly feeling cold and nervous.

"I talked to him Lindsay..." I whisper, looking down at my hands, knowing if I lift my head, I'll offer them an instant emotional breakdown. "Just now in the park."

"Stella, please..." she touches my hands and offers much needed warmth before I raise my eyes to look into hers. "What happened?" She asks, Danny now hushing Lucy so he can also get the full scoop. "Tell me everything."

"I went to the park like you suggested," I start with heavy sigh. "I wandered over to the playground, less chance of single men around," I stop and offer a sad laugh at the irony of those very words. "That's when I saw him, standing alone, his back to me. I called him and he turned around and I swear...gosh Lindsay I swear right there I just wanted to rush up to him and hold him close and never let go. Damn he still looks so good."

"Was he with anyone?"

"He um...yes he was," I continue as my eyes water, but this time out of happiness as I once again picture the beautiful child, held firmly in his father's strong and loving arms. "His son," I utter and silence consumes all of us as Lindsay looks at Danny in shock before her warm brown eyes lock with mine once again.

"His son?" She dares.

"Mac got married?" Danny finally pipes up.

"No and that's the worst part. Said it was the result of a one night stand. Said that was the reason he couldn't see me before; that he blamed himself for the very thing he got mad at me about," I finish, shaking my head as tears start to escape. "He said I needed to forgive him. _I_ needed to forgive _him_?"

We all sit in silence a bit longer; the small apartment starting to enclose around us and suffocate us.

"His name is Cameron Taylor and he um...he looks like Mac," I mange with a small, sad smile. "He's beautiful."

"How old?"

"A few months behind Lucy."

"Almost four?"

"Almost four," I echo as I look at the little girl with soft honey blond curls dancing around her face. I look back up at Lindsay in misery.

"Must've happened..."

"Right after he left New York," I state with a blank stare. "I'm really surprised he shared that just now...I mean we just met after four years and..."

"Stella, when he said Cameron was his son what was the first thing you were thinking?"

"Where's the mother?" I reply quietly.

"Mac would have known that and knew he needed to get it out of the way first and foremost; before anything else. If he didn't tell you and he was married and you found out, wouldn't you have been even madder at him for not telling you?"

"Yes."

"That's why he told you; proves he still really does care about you Stella. He wanted you to know he's still single."

"He told me he still cared," I offer with a small smile. "I still care about him Lindsay, more than I probably told him."

"What else?"

"I didn't get details on why he left Chicago, almost too painful to force him to relive everything all at once, but...but I just wanted to chain him to the bench and force the past four years out," I state with a soft smirk and Lindsay's face breaks into a warm smile. "We talked a bit about when I came to see him but mostly...I guess we both just needed to get out of the way how sorry we were for hurting the other," I pause to take a deep breath. "Funny neither of us blamed the other but only ourselves. All this time and we..." my voice stops as she gently rubs my back. "And then Cameron wanted to go home. I shouldn't have let him leave."

"Probably was a lot to digest and he knew that also. How did you part? With hope?"

"I guess. I told him I wanted to see him again and he was actually surprised, like I was saying that just for something to say."

"He has a child now Stella," Lindsay gently reminds me. "His life has changed and now he has more than just himself to consider."

"I would never want to hurt either of them. Lindsay I don't want to lose him again."

"You and I both know that. But you have just met again after four years. You both need to take this slow at first if this is going to work. And trust me, I know you want this to work."

"More than anything," I admit in truth. "I have wanted and waited for this moment since he walked out of my life and never looked back. But I don't know if he does."

"Did he agree to seeing you again?"

"Readily. But...but what if he changes his mind?"

"Mac won't do that," Danny pipes up.

"But..."

"You know the best thing about hope? It keeps offering you second chances," Lindsay adds with a smile. "Take this one Stella."

I look at her and try to believe that inside I still have hope. But Mac was surprised when I said I wanted to see him again; leading me to wonder if today was just a chance encounter or if I do make another attempt if he'll even want to respond.

_Oh Mac, tell me that I haven't lost you for good. Not now...please not now._

* * *

"And that's it mom," I reply with a heavy sigh as I lean back into the couch and look at my mother in misery. "I had to tell her the truth about Cameron right off the bat. She would have asked about his mother or at least wondered."

"You did the right thing. Its better she knows that you are single and that there is no one she has to compete with."

"Stella never had competition mother."

"Did she know that?"

"Wasn't sure she'd believe me or...Damn it!" I curse in anger as I look away, casting my angry gaze out the window. "She looked beautiful," I whisper and when I turn back my mother is smiling. "A few more lines but otherwise, still the same as when...when I left," my voice finally breaks as I lean forward, shielding my oncoming tears so my mother won't have to witness yet another emotional breakdown.

Her warm hand starts to rub my back but she says nothing to dissuade my emotional outburst. I quickly wipe the tears and sit back up. "I want to see her again but..."

"But what McCanna? What are you still worried about? She knows the truth," my mother reminds me.

"I have a son. She had told me one time when we met she wasn't sure she'd want to bring children into this world given her own upbringing and I...I can't expect her to want to be saddled with such a burden as..."

"Your son isn't a burden," she states, taking my hand and squeezing it firmly.

"She said it to be kind."

"She's not the kind of woman to just play around. You have been offered a second chance. Stella came back into your life for a reason; call it a kick in ass by destiny herself. One you needed," my mother smiles. "You can't just push that aside in favor of this lonely existence you have condemned yourself to for no reason."

"No reason?" I snort. "Mother it was me that made her feel like she committed the unforgivable sin for committing a human act in the first place! The same damn act on my part that led to Cameron!" I half shout.

"Keep your voice down and stop throwing Cameron into the mix like he had any say in _your_ actions," my mother scolds and I look at her with a frown.

"I was to blame for not listening to her, not being able to come down off my damn throne of self righteousness and forgive her! How the hell can I expect her to even want to follow through with...well anything..." my voice trails off in miserable frustration. I push myself up and head over to the window, my mother following.

"Did she say she forgave you?"

"She had to."

"Son we both know that woman can't be bullied into anything; must less saying something she _had _to. Stella offered those words to you today, because inside she knows there is still hope; she _wanted _to. It might have been a small gesture to you, but the fact that you agreed cements that you believe that also. You could have just walked away today like you did four years ago. Told yourself it was over as you did then. But you didn't. You know you need her and inside you know you want her back in your life on a regular basis. I mean over the past number of years, she's still the only woman you ever talk about; even briefly, the only picture of another female besides the one of me and Cameron that you keep in your bedroom and I know the only woman that occupies your heart and is actually inside that thick head of yours."

"She's probably dating."

"Don said she was still single. Remember? He said much like you, any offers that came her way were quickly shut down and nothing new was ever entertained."

"He said that too soothe my ego at the time," I insist, not looking at her and trying to justify my inner morbidity.

"Boy, are you feeling sorry for yourself today."

"Had years of practice."

"McCanna, she didn't ask for anything other than to see you again; trust me she's hurting right now just as much as you. You think it was easy for her to see you after all these years? And with a son no less? Trust me as a woman I know she's feeling what you are, maybe more. But she said yes because she wants you back in her life."

"She'll probably think it over and then tell me to get lost," I answer with a heavy sigh.

"Can I say I told you so when she doesn't?"

I look at my mother before I offer a heavy sigh and she wraps her arms around me and holds me close like she did when I was going off on another tour or something. "I want you to be happy."

"I just don't want to screw up again. I really wanted today to happen. I really do want a second chance with her. I love her."

"I know you do." My mother puts both her warm palms on my cheeks and looks at me with a kind and loving smile. "You were happy to see her. I could tell that by the odd look of contentment your face displayed when you came back here, which leads me to believe you'll be happy to see her again."

I look at my mother in misery. "After all this time what do I even say?"

My shakes her head as she removes her hands from my face and plants a warm kiss where one of her palms used to be. "You are expecting to just pick where you and Stella left off four years ago. You can't do that...you can't go back; for the sake of both your sanities and your future happiness. And for Cameron."

"So where the hell do I start?" I ask, pulling away in anxiety. "Hard to just erase the last four years and pretend that nothing happened!"

"I am not asking you to ignore or push anything aside," she stops me by taking my arm and forcing me to look at her directly.

I pull my arm free and look at her in misery. "So I just invite her for coffee and say, hi Stella, let's put the past behind us and start fresh. How was your day?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well it sounds like a better start than self pity," she counters and I just roll my eyes as I turn and head back to my son's room, hearing him fussing about. I lean against the doorway and watch as he slowly tries to pull himself from his sleepy state; cursing myself for my loud voice which was obviously the instrument that pulled him from his nap. My mother wraps an arm around my waist and follows my gaze and lets it rest on her grandson.

"I can't just pretend none of it happened."

"Mac, I'm not telling you to not discuss the past four years with her; I'm telling you that talking about what you both_ did_ four years ago is a waste of time. To do that would be like trying to diffuse a bomb after it has already gone off. The damage has already been done by you both. All you can do now is pick up the pieces; try to heal from this and make a new start. A new start I know you want."

"I have a son."

"If she was bothered by that, she wouldn't have offered. If she was seeing anyone else, she also wouldn't have offered. Trust me; Stella isn't the kind of woman who's a player or just out to toy with your heart for something to do; she cares too much about you, I know she does. She wants a new start and she wants it with you. The real question you need to ponder is what are your next steps?"

"I..." I start only to my mother gently press her finger to my lips.

"That is something you need to think about and not make another rash decision on. But it was you who walked away and it's up to you to make amends first. I am going to go and leave you to your thoughts; something I know you hate but in this case something that is expected."

"Right," I sigh heavily, knowing inside she is correct.

"If you want to come over for dinner let me know," she kisses my cheek as she turns to take her leave. I watch her go and then feel silence starting to consume me once again. Normally on a day like today, I would have taken Cameron to the park, tired him out and then come back to either sulk in front of the TV or offer him my time or take him to see his grandmother. Never really thinking or caring what the next day would hold as I never had anything to want to look forward to; well lovewise anyways. I love my son, inside with all my heart; but I missed Stella, every day since I left and that void was never filled, even by him.

Today all that changed. Now I am forced to wonder what Stella is doing. Did she go home after I left? Did she linger in the park? Did she call Lindsay and tell her what happened, not wanting to face our reunion alone? What is she doing right now? Thinking of me? Of Cameron? So many questions spiral around inside my brain that I actually have to close my eyes for a few minutes to allow the room to stop spinning.

But what my mother said made sense; to rehash our past mistakes would be painful and a waste of time. It's done; over, dead as it were. We can't go back and change it; knowing inside that if given the opportunity we would. But now we have to move past and since I was the one who so rudely up and left four years ago, it now rests with me to make things anew.

"I have to believe this is what she wants also. I have to believe I have been given a second chance for a reason." I slowly wander over to my son's small bed and ease myself in beside him; allowing his soft little frame to curl up next to mine. I offer a warm kiss on his head and his nose wrinkles but he doesn't open his eyes. I look over at a small picture of my son and I taken a few months back at the park and smile.

_'Stella, I have to believe you want this also.'_

* * *

"I wish I could tell you what to do Stella."

"You actually have helped more than you know. Just listening to me..." I start with a heavy sigh. "Just listening is what I really needed."

"You need Mac back in your life. That's what you need," Lindsay reminds me with a kind smile. "But I wish you'd stay for dinner, otherwise you know you're just going to go home and sit and sulk."

"I just had so much to say to him; so much to tell," I frown, looking past her to Lucy who is now on the floor piling Lego bits and Barbie dolls on her father's placid frame. "But I want to start fresh and I have an odd feeling that Mac probably thinks the past will hold us back."

"Only if you let it."

"I know."

I allow myself to linger in silence a bit longer before I take a deep breath and push myself to my feet. "I don't even have his number to call. I guess I could ask Don...I just..."

"Want me to?" Danny pipes up.

I look at Lindsay, my heart racing. "I was the one who asked, so maybe...I mean Mac never made a move in the past first, said he was always afraid of being hurt again. After what I did..."

"Stella, he did the same; you are both at a stale mate on that mistake," she reminds me with a warm smile.

"I know and going in circles. Damn I hate sounding like a broken record! I'm going to head for home and pray that by the time I push my door open, I have come up with a viable solution to all this."

"And if not?"

"Tomorrow, right?" I ask weakly.

"There is always tomorrow," she whispers in return as she gives me a hug and I finally take my leave.

As I slowly walk down the stairs and back onto the busy sidewalk to wait for a cab, I once again can't help but wonder what Mac is doing right now. Seeing him again today, just cemented my need to have him in my life; so strong a need that I want go to his place of work and at gun point if needed, demand his home address or at the very least his phone number or barricade myself in his office until he arrives and I get what I want. I give my head a shake as I sit in the back of the cab on the way home and remind myself that now I need to take things slow; slow and careful.

I just got Mac back into my life; at least I pray he's back, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. I look out the window once again picturing his face next to his son's and smile as I remember the boy's warm expression as he said my name.

I reach home and for the first time in years am not walking into a silent tomb filled with misery and loneliness; today I enter my home with a small glimmer of hope and a faint smile on my weary lips.

"I missed _you_ Mac," I wanted to confess to him; stressing the word you instead of missed. But I wasn't sure how he'd react or if he'd even believe me so tell myself if I am offered another face to face meeting I'll make sure the opportunity is seized immediately. I look at my phone and for a split second the red light blinks and I quickly press pray, begging that it's Mac's voice on the other end.

"Sorry it's just me," Lindsay's voice is heard and I can't help but smile in spite of my own inner turmoil. "You know for a small fee, that being your emotional stability, I am willing to loan out Lucy so that you won't feel so awkward at the park next time," she gently giggles, Danny grunting in the background. "Might put both of them at ease. Let me know. Linds."

I delete the message; but before I toss aside the notion as completely out in left field, start to think that it might have some merit.

"But later on," I tell myself firmly; already having decided that if we do meet again, it'll be like for an afternoon coffee, in a neutral place, one that won't make either of us feel like we are on the witness stand about to offer testimony about our past misgivings; something I know neither of us wants right now.

"A simple afternoon coffee is harmless," I try to convince myself. Not really sure where Mac lives in Jersey, I head over to my computer to see if I can find any kind of small coffee shops nearby his place of work; not wanting to add to his anxiety about coming back into Manhattan if he doesn't want to.

I look at the phone, willing it to ring but it doesn't. However, instead of cursing it like I normally would, I offer a small frown, telling myself that Mac is probably wondering as I am what to do next instead of taking another rash step without thinking how this might now affect his son.

"Cameron Taylor," I allow to roll off my tongue and by the time the last letter has escaped my mouth, my lips have curled into a warm smile as I picture his little face once again; bright blue eyes looking at me in wonder. Do I look like his mother? I would hate to say that I do; that Mac allowed his one night stand to be with someone who looks like me, as that would be selfish and probably the furthest from the truth. However, as I know that blue eyes are usually a recessive trait when paired with dark eyed DNA, I have to conclude his mother at least had blue or green eyes. Brown hair?

"Stella, stop it!" I command myself as I get back to my searching. I finally find a place; mark as one of my internet favorites and then head into the kitchen to start into an early dinner, my body almost entirely spent of energy and adrenaline. I wonder if Mac cooks any of the meals or if his mother does it all? Knowing Mac, he probably would allow the two of them to live on Mr. Noodles until both were found dead from mal-nutrition.

"I'm sure his mother looks after both of them very well." I envy the fact that Mac has such a support system; that he had someone, wiser, older and who loves him more than anything.

"She probably hates me," I utter in falsity, blaming myself for the cause of her son's mental and emotional pain. However, little did I know that it was his mother who was on the other end, urging him to put aside guilt and worry and to take another chance on love and happiness.

I finally finish my supper and then head into the bathroom and start up the bath; wanting to just soak in a tub of hot water and allow my tension to ease somewhat.

As I get ready I think about what Mac must have been thinking and feeling the night Anna came by with his son; dropping him off and then taking her leave, not even thinking about the man she was leaving her son with. She's just lucky that Mac is the honorable man he is; he never would have said no, and never would have put his son up for adoption; and never would have treated him harshly. But as our new bond progresses I know that is something I will want from Mac, the details on what it was like to first have Cameron with him.

"I wonder if Mac gives Cameron a bath or shower?"

Danny had told her one time, that if it was just him and Lucy, he'd have a shower; Lindsay preferring baths. But as I allow my mind to dwell on that thought, my tired brain flashes me images of Mac half naked and my cheeks instantly flush.

"Stella," I scold myself as I quickly open my eyes and shake my head once again to try to clear the naughty image from my mind. I finish my bath and then head into my bedroom to try to sleep. The day has been such a roller coaster of emotions. And when I got up this morning, my mind in mental misery as it usually is, I never would have imagined that it would end with a happy thought of something more with the man I know in my heart I still love more than anything.

"Goodnight Mac," I whisper as I turn off the light and finally allow darkness to consume me. But sleep isn't the blissful experience I hoped it would be at seeing Mac again; instead my brain was active all night, trying to ponder his next actions; his present situation and what if any future hope we'd be offered. If we did meet again, what would I say, how would I end it so that we could see each other again; and would he even want that? And by the time morning rolled around, my head was still pounding and my anxiety high.

"Oh to hell with this," I curse as I try to just lie in bed resting. I push myself up and quickly get dressed for a run; wanting to wear off the tension I failed to lose the night before. I head onto the street, looking each direction; hoping to see Mac waiting for me, but then giving my head another much needed shake when I realize that's not going to happen. However, an hour later I return home and see my message light blinking and once again reach for it with slightly trembling fingers.

_'Stella, it's me. I hope I'm not calling to early. I was wondering if you wanted to get together for a coffee or something this week? If not I'll understand. Bye Mac.'_

"If?" I practically shout at the phone, my lips already curled into a warm smile. And as soon as I reach for the phone I know in my heart that for him to go out on this big a limb means he wants to make a new start, just as much as I do; no matter how scared. And while I know we are both going to have to take it slow this time around; I once again have a purpose in my life worth pursuing. A happy future with Mac Taylor, the man I love.

* * *

I had spent the most of the night in thought; playing with Cameron after a modest dinner I made for us, giving my mother a much needed break, before he and I took a shower and then called it a night. But my brain was too busy pondering the day's events and I didn't fall asleep until the sun was coming up; and those few minutes were then stolen from me by my son, demanding his father's attention now that he was up.

"Daddy play with me and Thomas," Cameron urges as he tugs at the covers of my blanket before jumping on my stomach and trying to get me out of bed. I usually leave the child gate locked so he can't wander around at night, but I guess in my mental haze I left it open and so now pay the price.

"Waking daddy is not a good idea," I tease as I wrap my arms around my squealing son as he tries to escape and hold him tightly against me as I poke his side. The room starts to fill with his infectious laughter, my own lips curling into a smile as my brain starts to take delight in his actions as he twists himself around and starts to dig into my sides, forcing laughter from my own lips. Then, his attention span being what it is, he pushes himself off me and runs into the living room and soon I hear the Cartoon Network come to life and offer a groan as I look over at the time.

I had finally convinced myself last night that I would swallow my anxiety and at least offer to meet her for coffee. I had balked at the idea but then my mother's words about choosing a neutral location and a simple first 'date' as it were, just to sit down for an hour or so and start to rekindle a simple friendship made sense.

_'Remember Mac,'_ my mother had warned me. _'Don't call her expecting anything other than a simple yes and a chance to sit down and start to regrow your amazing bond. It's not lost for good, it was just misplaced for a little while.'_

And she's right; I was expecting to call Stella and hear her either say no or worse, not call back at all. I had paced back and forth, trying to work up the nerve to call her and offer a simple meeting to get us back on the track I hope we both want.

"McCanna, stop pacing, she's going to call and you are wearing a hole in the carpet," my mother reminds me as she looks at me with a laugh. I had finally worked up the nerve to call Stella and left a brief message and then headed into the kitchen to make breakfast for Cameron and then my mother came to help.

"Daddy Thomas!" Cameron shouts when Thomas the Train comes onto the TV. I look up from cleaning the table and smile as he picks up a small train and starts to play right in front of the TV.

"Cameron come back from the TV," I tell him in a firm tone and my mother looks at me with a frown. "And don't touch that."

"Mac, she's going to call. You are acting like you're a man turning twenty, not nearing forty."

"Thanks a lot," I huff and my mother gently laughs. "What if she's just..." I start and then stop, looking up at my mother with a frown. "Right."

"Go and read with Cameron."

I take the advice, finish in the kitchen and then head into the living room, turn off the TV and scoop my protesting son under my arm and take him to the couch; plunking him down on my lap and then pulling a book from the small shelf. My old apartment in Manhattan wasn't homey and not certainly kid or family friendly. The first few days after my mother had moved in, she made sure my apartment here was changed to reflect that of a single father; not a lonely bachelor.

_'Mom, I don't need shelving there.'_

_'When you want to read to your son, trust me you'll want something within arms reach. What color do you want his room?'_

_'It doesn't matter.'_

_'It does now. What color?' She had insisted. I remember I picked out a few colors and showed them to Cameron and he chose army green and so along with some cream furniture to add some brightness, his small room came to life. A few weeks later I remember coming home from work, my mother in the kitchen and my son looked up, then stood up, called out 'daddy' and ran into my open arms and for the first time since he came into my life, the right decision was cemented in my mind. _

"Which one do you want to read Cameron?" I ask my son in a soft tone, kissing his plump cheek. When Anna dropped him into my life she said I could call him Cam or CJ but since I live with an abbreviated name, I call him Cameron; sometimes Cam when I'm tired, but never CJ. I guess I just don't want any further reminders of the woman who just abandoned him so she could pursue what she wanted instead of putting her son before her own needs. I remember cursing her name every day for a week after he came into my life; sometimes still do, at her selfish actions. But then as my mother reminds me; if I wasn't around to accept him, my precious son would have become a ward of the state and I would give my life before I would ever allow that to happen. And truth be told I don't want her in my life; I want Stella.

"This one daddy," he says picking one of the thick board books and holding it up.

"This one it is," I agree putting the other book down and opening the one I have in my hand. I often worry that I am not doing enough with Cameron, being that I have to work every day and only have the evenings and weekends to really spend time with him, but my mother takes an hour every day to read with him, teach him to write letters and numbers and identify familiar things with words he knows. My mother tells me that he's on track for a child his age; almost four, but I still can't help but feel that I am failing at something.

As per our routine I would say the word, "train," and my son would repeat and point to the correct object.

"Train," Cameron states as he looks up at me with a slight frown and I kiss his forehead and a smile appears.

"Good boy."

I am just about to say the second word when the phone rings. My heart instantly picks up as I look at my mother, who simply smiles as I make a move to answer. I quickly put Cameron to the side and rush for the phone, take a deep breath and then answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mac," Stella's warm voice greets me and my lips curl instantly into a soft smile. "Is this a good time?"

"Sure. I was just reading to Cameron."

"I can um...call back?"

"No it's okay," I tell her in haste; in case she might chicken out and not call back. "Now is a good time."

"Okay. I got your message. I was out for a run and just got back."

"I remember what that was like," I tell her in a low tone, my heart racing nervously.

"I'd love to meet you for coffee Mac."

"You would?"

"I would."

"Great, so any place in particular?"

"Do you live in Jersey?"

"Thought it would be better to be closer to home with a son," I admit in truth and I can see her smiling in my mind and my mental peace is finally starting to return.

"Sounds responsible."

"Anyplace would be fine with me," I tell her. "Just name it."

"The Jumping Bean?"

"That's here in Jersey. Stella I don't mind..."

"Mac, it's an excuse to come over to the other side of the world," she states casually and I have to lightly chuckle, the first real laugh I think my soul has produced in years.

"I would like that. When?"

"Well I'm sure you're mother probably needs a break at the end of the day so how about for lunch on Wednesday? I have to come that way for court and a few extra miles through the tunnel won't be a big deal."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll see you at noon on Wednesday."

"Noon it is," I agree with a smile. Not sure how much to say right now, I figure to end it on a high note instead of either of us starting to dwell on miserable memories or confessions of sorrow. "I really can't wait to see you again."

"Me too," she states warmly and my grin has automatically widened. "See you Wednesday Mac."

"Bye Stella. See you Wednesday."

I hang up and pray for my heart rate to return to normal, wondering if my heart is racing now, how I'll fare seeing her in person for a second time.

"Told you so," my mother states, not looking up from her knitting, a warm smile on her knowing face. I put the phone down and head back to my son with a smile from ear to ear.

"Daddy's happy," Cameron is quick to note.

"Very," I admit as I give him a squeeze and get back to my previous task; knowing that Wednesday can't come soon enough. And while I know we still have a few more bumps ahead of us, this one small step is a step in the right direction.

* * *

"YES!" I squeal in immature fashion; feeling like a teenager just asked for her first date by a boy she's had a crush on all year. I hang up the phone and my smile can't subside; despite the fact that inside I am nervous about what to expect and what will happen after we part on Wednesday.

_'Just reading with Cameron,'_ Mac had confessed to me with a warm tone and my brain instantly looked at my own couch and pictured him sitting in the middle with his son on his lap, arm holding him close; book in hand. I can picture the small boy repeating the words his father offers as he looks up at his father with love and affection and I feel my lips offer a contented sigh. However, when I picture Mac doing all that alone, my face displays a frown and a sudden feeling of melancholy starts to consume me.

But before I can allow myself to dwell on negative things, I head into the kitchen and look at the picture of me and Mac and smile.

"Please..." I beg in a whispered tone. "Please let this work."

And while I know that for the past four years I would allow myself to dwell on negative emotions, for the rest of the day, I force my mind to dwell on the fact that Mac and I are going to try to make a new start. Every hour, I would replay his message, just to hear the warm sound of his voice and a smile would instantly appear on my lips.

I know that tomorrow I am going to have a hard time concentrating; Wednesday's lunch 'date' starting to already distract me. But I am also determined not to get my hopes up too high; reminding myself that Mac has a son and we both made costly errors that brought a lot of pain to each other and we aren't about to just rush in and pick up as if nothing happened. But at the same time we both admitted we still care for each other; we are both still single and I would like to think for good reason; we are meant to be together, forever.

So with that happy thought filling my brain as I start into the rest of my weekend chores, my mind is once again feeding me happy memories of me and Mac before all this happened and negativity is pushed to the back of my mind where it belongs.

"Wednesday Mac. I'll see you on Wednesday," I state with a large smile; knowing inside the days won't pass by fast enough.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so hopefully you are less teary at the end of this chapter, unless it's happy tears! Lol...but please let me know how you liked it and if you'd like some more and want to see what happens before Wednesday and the lunch date itself. Thanks in advance!

**SPOILER (from my best bud who wrote into TVguide.):  
Who is Stella going to have a relationship with on this season of _CSI: NY_? — ****_Shannon  
_ADAM: **Stella won't go back to the well with Adam, executive producer Pam Veasey tells me, but you should look out for more moments of spontaneity from her. "She's not going to limit herself," Veasey says. "Her momentary enjoyable moment with Adam was one of those things. She'll be a much more aggressive, live-in-the-moment type of character."

GO SMACKED!!! So no more A/S lameness at least. Hopefully that'll include some spontinenty with our Mac. To discuss more please go to my SMACKED forum and join in the discussions. GO SMACKED!!


	4. Confessions over Coffee

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 4 - Confessions over Coffee **

**A/N**: You guys know I usually don't post this stuff here, but this needs to be said. If you are looking for ideas to write please don't "poach" other's ideas and if you do like them please ask if you think it's going to be similar as us writers put a lot of time and hard work into our pieces. And it hurts a lot when ideas are poached and credit taken for ideas that don't belong to the author who has stolen (esp if the stealing author claims their idea is "theirs" and "original"). Lets all respect each other! (okay motherly advice over! Lol)

Enjoy this chapter...oh and hey their Wednesday takes places on our Wednesday also. Hehe.

* * *

"So you get laid on the weekend or what?" Flack asks me as I head into the NJ lab early the following morning.

"Pardon?"

"Mac, its Monday morning. You never smile on Monday mornings. Hell I don't remember the last time you even smiled like that for _any_ reason."

"Something better," I answer in a quiet tone as I push past him into my small, cluttered office. One of the things I actually missed about the New York office was the space I had and the glass walls; not really ever coming to terms with concrete on all four sides and a small glass opening in the door.

"_Better_?" Flack questions as he stops my actions. "Tell me what was better?"

"I talked to Stella yesterday and saw her on Saturday."

"What? Where?"

"I had ventured into Central Park on Saturday. They had some kids show that Cameron wanted to see and when we had wandered over to the play area later on and...she was there," I mention in a soft tone, my lips curling into a soft smile as my brain replays her face in my mind.

"Why?"

"I guess she was there to...I didn't ask; I was just too happy to ask that. Happy and nervous. God she looked good. I...I felt like I was back in high school. Stupid right?"

"Trust me Mac, you should have bumped into her a few years back. So what happened?" Flack presses eagerly. "Was she alone?"

"She was alone but met Cameron and so I had to give her a few details about..."

"You told her about Anna?"

"Had to Don. Lies and mistrust are what led to this whole mess in the first place. I had to tell her. I guess and I know this might sound stupid but I wanted her to know I was single...well of sorts."

"Was she pissed?"

"About which part?"

"All of it," Flack frowns.

"Not that she showed me, but she had every right to be. I told her how sorry I was about what I said and how I acted and then..." I pause and take a deep breath. "Then I asked her to forgive me."

"Brave man. And?"

"She forgave me," I inform him with a heavy sigh. "She didn't ask about work or anything as she caught me right when I was about to take Cameron home and we didn't have time. There was so much to say and...damn it Don, I wish I had called her before all this happened."

"Did she ask you to forgive her?"

"Yes for whatever reason. I was the one that led to all this in the first place, there was nothing for me to forgive her for. But I told her I did anyway as I think she needed to...to hear me say it," I stop as I wander over to the window and cast my eyes over the water, staring at the tall towers that comprise Manhattan skyline and feel my anxiety ease a little. "We are having lunch tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Just hope it goes well."

"It will. You need her Mac."

"I know."

* * *

"Good morning Detective Bonasera," Sid greets me formally. "Haven't seen you with a smile this early in a long time...in fact a smile like that in a few years. Good weekend I take it?"

"Started out the same as the rest but ended on a surprisingly good note."

"Am I allowed to ask?"

"It's complicated," I reply with a gentle frown.

"Good or bad?"

"Just...complicated. Saw someone that...it was just complicated."

"Okay so..."

"Sid, do you believe in second chances?"

"Like two people who at one time had such a strong friendship that love was inevitable but then made a few silly mistakes and parted? And then met again after a few years and are now wondering if it's possible to pick up the pieces and rebuild to what they had before? Or something even better?"

"Something like that."

"How is Mac?" Sid queries with a knowing glance.

"He's fine, looks great," I answer in a soft tone.

"_But?"_

"He's a single father."

"Wow. Didn't expect that of our fearless leader," Sid replies with a smile. "And the mother is..."

"Out of the picture," I sigh heavily. "Maybe I...maybe this is wrong and..." I start as I look away in wonder.

"You know second chances don't come along very often. But when they do..."

"You grab onto them and never let go?"

"Never," Sid smiles with a firm nod. "Tell him we miss him here. Never been the same since he left."

"I know."

"Any plans to see him again?"

"Lunch on Wednesday."

"Not soon enough you know that right?"

"I know Sid. But..."

"Okay so this is what I found..." Sid starts, not allowing me to dwell on morbid thoughts about the possibility that things won't work out with Mac. In fact by the time I left Sid, I was even more convinced that things would get better, albeit slowly but hope was there and that's what counted.

I head back to my office and watch Adam and Haylen interacting and offer a smile. I had thought that when Mac left, things in the lab would be strained. And for a time they were. But everyone moved on; including Adam and when I see him and Haylen together I am happy for them, knowing inside that while I might have regretted my indiscretion with Adam, I never regretted telling Adam it was a stupid mistake. I only man I have ever lamented losing was the only man I ever truly loved, Mac.

I wonder what he's doing right now? I ask as I head into my office to finish up some paperwork for Wednesday's trial. I pull up a blank email and stare at the page, wanting so much to send him a note but knowing inside that I dont want to bombard him after just one day, so quickly close the email and try to force myself to think on anything other than Mac or our Wednesday lunch meeting.

* * *

Thanks to Stella occupying my brain, my day passed by faster than expected. However, later that same night things were not going to end on the happy noted I wanted. As soon as Cameron greeted me, I should have known things would be strained. I head into the bedroom to change, but Cameron is quick to follow.

"Where's mummy?" He asks sadly and my heart instantly breaks. He has only mentioned it a handful of times in the past year and I had hoped and prayed that my simple explanations would have sufficed; but as my mother reminds me, he's growing older and as he grows older he's going to ask a lot more questions about her.

_Just wait until he starts kindergarten, my mother warned me. Then you'll really have some explaining to do. Kids are blunt and to the point. McCanna you need a real family for him._

"She's away sweetie."

"She's at the park," he tells me and I look at him in wonder; my mother now leaning on the door frame, watching. I look up at her, my eyes begging for an explanation. She slowly walks into the room and hands me a drawing that Cameron did.

"Cameron drew his family today."

"Mummy's in the park," he answers, gently jumping on the bed.

My eyes lock onto the picture and a lump forms in my throat. _He drew Stella_, my mind laments as I look at the crude drawing of me and him and a woman with brown curly hair beside us, smiling. My eyes instantly water as I look at him with a weak smile.

"Thanks," I manage as my mother quickly pulls him from the bed, telling my protesting son that daddy needs a bit of privacy to get dressed and closes the door; not allowing my son to see his father have a brief, but well deserved emotional breakdown. _Out of all the women you picked, you picked one that looked like Stella? Don had asked when I told him._

"What have I done…" I sadly lament as I look at the picture of Stella that my son had drawn for me. I want more than anything to just crush the paper in my hands, scolding him for even thinking that a strange woman could be his mother. But I can't fault him, for in truth Stella would remind him of his mother. And while I know he would have only been with her for a year that he might remember her; despite being with her for almost two, I know inside his mind when he sees someone who looks like his mother it's going to jog his small memory. And I can't fault my son for wanting to have a mother around; I want one for him. Damn it, what have I done! Could I ever tell Stella that?

"She'd hate me even more," I whisper as a tear escapes and starts to slide around between the white paper and the bright marks of crayon.

But when I hear my son starting to pound on the door, I know I cannot allow him to see me break down; I need to be strong for him. So I quickly swallow my rising sorrow, wipe my eyes and then hurry to open the door, allowing my son to enter, but my mother to stay outside, leaving me to my privacy as she always has.

Cameron hurries back to my bed and starts to burrow himself under my dress shirt. I take the opportunity to wrap the shirt around him, trapping his arms at his sides and forcing laughter from him once again.

"Daddy…lets go…" he laughs, trying to squirm free, but not being able to.

I finally free him and he tries to scamper free. I grab his foot and he squeals once more as he tries to get free. I tickle him once more but when I finally let him go, he turns and throws himself at me, taking me to the bed and then lying on my chest with a flushed face and large smile. Finally he pushes himself off me and hurries into the living room, hearing the Cartoon Network come to life that my mother has thankfully turned on to distract him. "Time to make dinner."

My mother and I make small talk after dinner, watching Cameron play before she says goodnight and then it's off to bed. But an hour into sleep his sad whimpers pull me from my usual light slumber and I hurry into his room. I turn on the night light to see tears streaming down his face. I quickly gather him into my arms and hold his small, trembling body against my firm chest.

"What's wrong?" I whisper in his ear.

"Miss mummy," he cries and I close my eyes in torment. My mother had said that this had happened before on a few occasions; whenever I would come into contact with someone different than his grandmother and someone who looked like his mother. There have only been a few over the years...but now there was Stella. But my mother said to offer him comfort and he'd forget until it was offered again.

I carefully pick him up and carry him into my room and place him in the large bed next to me. He presses his body closer into mine and his crying finally subsides and soon he's once again asleep. I however, will probably stay awake most of the night wondering if I really am doing the right thing. With Stella coming back into my life am I just doing my son more harm than good? Oh why the hell hadn't I done the right thing four years ago?

I was, as suspected up most of the night wondering if Cameron would be okay. He had made some small whimpers during the night that instantly had me awake but he didn't wake up so that was good. Thankfully when he did wake up on Tuesday, his sorrow over his missing mother was gone and I was woken up by smiles and warm laughter as it should be and my mind was at relative peace once again.

"Wake up daddy!"

"Dangerous to wake daddy in the morning," I tease, poking his warm, pajama clad side. He laughs as he tries to squirm away but I quickly wrap my arm around his small waist and hold on, forcing him to twist around and dig into my sides eliciting laughter from my own lips.

"Daddy's trapped!" Cameron laughs. I try to move but the covers have me trapped and he doesn't let up. I finally get the upper hand and he stops his actions but he's quick to pull back and look at me with a frown; which also doesn't last long.

"Sower time," Cameron declares enthusiastically as he tugs at my night shirt, pulling it up and exposing part of my chest to the cool bedroom air.

"Shower," I correct and he looks at me with a frown. "Say it correctly."

"SHower," he tries and I reward him with a large smile.

"Very good."

He touches my face and feels my rough cheek and his face scrunches.

"Stubble," I tell him and he just shrugs. I finally push myself out of bed and gather my son into my arms and head for the bathroom to get the day started. I went to bed with a feeling of anxiety but am thankful that Cameron slept through the rest of the night and seems fine this morning. My mother said these minor mood swings would come and go and I am thankful that she is correct. I start up the hot water and turn to see that Cameron has already pulled off his pajama top and is working on the bottoms.

"Remember Cameron, no peeing in the shower," I gently warn and he looks at me in anger. "No."

He finally nods his head and allows me to lift him into the bathtub, pulling closed the curtain. I do wish I had a bigger washing area but have to make do with what I have. I always wash him first, gently rubbing his tender skin with the soap before handing him a child size bar and then doing myself. When done, he gets wrapped in a large, plush towel until I'm done before I allow him to run into his room and try to pick out something to wear. So far he's at least picked out clean underwear and socks and I have finally learned how to dress my son to make him look well put together.

I always laugh when I see him looking at items of clothing trying to get them to go together. I take a few items and then take him back into my room with me so that I can dress and keep an eye on him. I don't really have much that he can get into trouble with; but I'm paranoid nonetheless. Finally my mother arrives and it's time to start the day.

I head into work and the anticipation for tomorrow is starting to build. Thankfully I am kept busy most of the day and when mid afternoon rolls around I head back to my office for a quick bite of lunch. Just as I am about to finish my meal, I hear my email notification ding and look up to see Stella's name sitting in my in-box.

The subject reads 'tomorrow' and for a few seconds I am hesitant to open it; telling myself she has changed her mind and now doesn't want to meet. Maybe she's had a change of heart? After all I put her through I wouldn't blame her in the least for wanting to back out. And now with a son; I can't fault her for having second thoughts. Thankfully I put my mis-guided guilt to the back of my mind where it belongs and open the email with a smile.

_'Mac, heard about the excitement in your neck of the woods today. Do I get details tomorrow? Stella.'_

I at once curse myself for jumping to such a rash conclusion but in the past four years that's all I have known how to do. I lean back, my heart picking up the pace as my brain tries to formulate an appropriate response. But just the fact that I got this email, proves she's thinking about me and that right away tells me hope isn't lost. I know tomorrow we'll have other stuff to talk about; gosh not even sure where to begin...how do you catch on four years? _You move forward from here_, my mother's voice reminds me.

_'Stella, you'll need to send over some of those Manhattan dollars so we can buy ourselves a real SWAT team. You'll get all the details tomorrow. Mac.'_

I look at the message and frown. I haven't had to worry about the wording of a personal email in years and tell myself this is Stella, the woman I have known for over ten years, why am I stressing; she'll be happy with any kind of response. So with a firm nod of my head I push 'send' and then get back to finishing my lunch.

I quickly finish my lunch and return to the lab with another smile on my face, an outward display not lost on my staff.

"Mac's finally got a girlfriend," Riley Barns, my lead CSI pipes up and I look at him with a frown. "What else makes you smile? We all seriously thought your face would crack," he laughs, forcing his partner Sara Jensen to swat his arm.

"Well whatever is making you smile is great; about time too," Sara mentions.

I have to agree with a small nod but offer nothing more. Much like the old team, that up until my outburst with Adam, never had to witness personal confessions or public emotional displays of any kind. I like to keep it that way. I finally finish my day and by the time I head back to my office to collect my things to go home, my heart is now racing in anticipation of tomorrow.

"How the hell am I going to be able to concentrate all morning?" I lightly lament as I push my way into the early evening traffic, resting in the back of the cab with growing anxiety. Stella's email made me smile all day and whenever I got the chance I would just re-read the simple sentence and stare at her name, begging my mind to remember happier memories instead of seeing her tormented expression before I disappeared for four years.

I offer a small shake of my head as I push my way into the lab to finish the rest of the day so I can go home and try to calm my nerves before tomorrow.

* * *

"Think you'll even sleep tonight?" Lindsay queries as we slowly wander from the lab to my office, Tuesday's work day almost at a close. Since I got Mac's email reply I found it hard to concentrate on anything tangible.

"Doubt it, I didn't get much last night," I answer with a heavy frown as I enter my now quiet office. "Everything okay between Danny and Don?"

"Yeah those two are thick as thieves. I know Danny misses seeing him around here on a regular basis and he hopes that when Mac comes back, Don will follow."

"_If_ Mac comes back," I stress firmly. "Lindsay he might feel that he won't want to abandon his new team or that there are too many bad memories to come back to."

"But there are a lot more happy memories here also," Lindsay correctly reminds me and I have to reward her continued enthusiasm with a weak smile.

"Thank you for all your help with this," I mention with a sigh as I slump down in my office chair. I watch her take her leave and then quickly open my email inbox to see a surprise email from Mac.

_'Stella, here is a good route to the other side of the world, Mac.'_ And a map to our lunch meeting place tomorrow has been attached. And to know that he actually put forth even a small amount effort to find or search the internet for something like this; something small to most people, tells me a great deal about our strained friendship. That there is a path to mending that is waiting for us to both walk down, and he wants it just as much as me.

I quickly finish my last task of the day and then head for home, my mind and heart now racing with eager anticipation for tomorrow's meeting with Mac. I reach home and enter my home; this time not feeling the solitude as stifling as I have for most of the past four years. I slowly move around my apartment, starting to unwind from the busy day and trying to get my mind to focus on making dinner, instead of burning leftovers. I turn on the TV for some much needed distraction but even still all my mind wants to show is Mac and Cameron sitting together and reading while I make them dinner.

"Stella, give your head a shake!" I command myself as I turn to the sports channel in hopes of putting something else into my tired brain besides my partner's handsome face.

"My partner," I laugh to myself as I bring the food to the table to sit down. Even after all these years, especially now that we have rekindled, well something, that title still rings loud and clear in my head. _My partner_. Mac will always be that. And no matter what happens with us and work; he'll always hold that special place in my mind and heart.

I finally finish my dinner and start to flip aimlessly through the channels. I remember when I was exiting the park on Saturday that I happened to see the Thomas the Train signs and surmised that was why Mac and Cameron were in the park. So when I pass by the Thomas the Train cartoon on the TV, I pause for a few minutes and picture Cameron's smiling face as he and his father enjoy the outing.

"Oh Mac..." I whisper in misery as my eyes slightly water and I have to quickly change the channel. And if my eyes are watering and my heart is racing now with just mental images being offered, I am wondering how I'll actually fare tomorrow when I am with him in person.

"I am an adult and will retain my composure," I firmly command myself as I head into the kitchen to put the dishes away and then head into the bedroom to get ready for the night. But as suspected and I wonder if it's much the same for Mac, tonight I'll not have sleep; my mind and heart wondering what tomorrow will actually bring.

However, I do manage to get a few hours sleep before my alarm goes off. But instead of groaning at the wake up call, I push myself out of bed and hurry to get the day started. I hum to myself in the shower and then stand before my closet, wanting to pick out an outfit I know Mac will love. I still have to be professional, so showing up in a tight black dress is out of the question.

"Wouldn't get much talking done," I whisper to myself as I remember the look on his face so many years ago when I wandered into his office in a similar dress. He wore ties then and I remember loosening it up for him and he left them behind ever since that gesture. Even back then, our chemical bond was strong.

"I know we can get it back."

I finally select my outfit and then hurry to finish getting ready and get out the door. As suspected I am hard pressed to even find a moment's concentration on work; cursing myself for acting like a stupid teenager, rather than a mature adult, one in a professional position.

I finally head for the courthouse, drop off what I need and then push the Avalanche into traffic, the tunnel to Jersey calling my name. My fingers clasp and unclasp around the steering wheel so many times I swear I'm either going to make holes in the firm leather or have blisters on the palms of my hands by the time I arrive.

I reach The Jumping Bean and then park before I take a deep breath, get out of the truck and then slowly head for the front door. I spy what appears to be a dark CSI truck, a Suburban and wonder if that's Mac's. My heart is now racing. I open the door and look around and then green finally locks with blue.

"Mac..." I whisper as a warm smile automatically grows on my lips. "He's here."

* * *

Waiting for Stella was almost driving me to an early grave. Each time the small bell over the door would gently chime, I would look up in anticipation and then back down in frustration, giving my head a shake and telling myself to be calm and patient; two things I used to pride myself on.

However, this time when I look up and blue collides with green, my heart explodes with delight. She offers me a warm smile and my own lips can't help but curl in response. As always she dressed impeccably, a dark fitted pantsuit with a red top and her golden curls bouncing as she walks toward me. I stand up but now wonder how I greet her? Thankfully she puts my mind at ease by offering me a brief hug before sitting down. But even still, when our bodies touched for those few minutes that electrical spark was alive and strong.

"Thank you for the directions," Stella starts off.

"Just glad they worked," I reply as I take my coat off to make myself a bit more comfortable. "How was court?"

"It was fine," her voice trails off as she looks at me with a growing frown. We allow silence to build before I feel like I need to say something. And while I had promised myself and my mother I wouldn't bring up the past, I can't just let it slide either.

"I'm sorry." We both state at the same time.

"What?" Stella asks in haste.

"Stella I had told myself that I wouldn't bring up the past, too painful," I lightly mention, looking down at my fingers as they start to fiddle with a packet of sugar.

"Mac...it's over and we don't need to..."

"I'm not going to talk about that but I just need to tell youI should have..." I start but she instantly pushes a delicate finger against my lips and I stop. I take her hand and hold it tightly in mine. "I should have stayed and tried to see past my own arrogance. I wish I could go back but I can't and I have been in mental hell ever since. I didn't want to hurt you."

"I guess you weren't the only one in there," she mentions lightly. "We both were to blame in all this. No more okay Mac. No more talk about our past um...mistakes," she finishes with a gentle nod. I look at her and nod my head; our hands still clasped together. Her eyes drop to our fingers but I gently squeeze her hand and her face lifts back up and she rewards me with a warm smile and my heart is finally somewhat at peace; words not needed. But in true Stella Bonasera fashion, she refuses to allow me to wallow in my own self pity so gently pulls her hand away and pushes a menu between my now unoccupied fingers.

"So what do you want Mac?"

"If nothing else, I want us to be friends, the friends we once were," I tell her in truth; not wanting to put any further pressure on her to think about something more right now. In truth, I dont even know if she'd want more.

"I meant for lunch," she states and I just shake my head. "But on that note...I think you know we can't do that Mac," she tells me firmly and my heart sinks. "Can't go back."

"Guess I..." I start only to have her quickly continue.

"Because what we _can become now_ will be much stronger than before."

This time I look at her in surprise. "What?" I manage. She didn't use the word friend which once again has my brain jumping to the immediate conclusion that more will contemplated.

"Mac, we have both hurt each other by our actions but I'd like to think that we have learned valuable lessons from all this and will take extra steps to not let it happen again."

"I want that also but..."

"But what?" She presses.

"Well you make it sound so easy for some reason."

"Trust me Mac, it won't be easy at all," she mentions in a sad tone, her eyes constantly searching mine for insight into my soul. "But hard work never is easy, right?"

"Right."

"Especially for something you really want," she mentions and I look at her in wonder.

"Stella?" I ask in wonder. "What do you want?"

"You...to enjoy lunch."

Her first word, _you,_ has my mind racing with delight as my face finally rewards her with a warm smile. However, she didn't finish her thought and I know it's still too soon to start thinking long term. "Are you even hungry?"

"Was so nervous today I didn't eat anything," she confesses with a heavy sigh and my guilt starts to grow. "But I could use something light. You pick."

"Me?" I ask in shock. "I'm not good at..."

"Pick Mac...for both of us..please?"

"Okay I um...I'll be right back," I tell her as I slowly push myself away from the small table and head for the order counter, looking back to see her watching me with a warm smile; a smile that I know hides pain and turmoil, the same emotions my own being is masking very well.

XXXXXXXX

I watch Mac at the counter and pray for my heart to come down to at least a slower pace. By his sad confession, I know he's still carrying so much guilt and regret inside and I'm almost at a loss as to how to coax some of it out, without him going back to work or home and praying for a mental suicide to help alleviate some of his frustration.

I had said the word _you_ but I wasn't sure if it was too soon to follow through with telling him it was too soon to want more than friendship with him and his son so I decided to just take the safe route out. But I know in my mind and heart that I will make Mac understand before he leaves that I miss him and want us to progress toward something more than stale friendship. I want more and I want it with him.

I know you're upset Mac, so am I, I wanted to tell him. But I could see the more we dwelt on the fallout from the mistake itself the more hurt was waiting to be offered and in truth I didn't want to rehash our mistakes once again. I won't mention that his position wasn't filled right now, I just want to get through this hour with some of my mental sanity in tact; whatever is left. My heart? Well that always belonged to Mac.

I watch him through the crowd, a small smile on his handsome face as he nears me and my heart skips a beat as it did in the past. He still wears suits I see, minus the tie and it looks right now as if nothing has changed; at least in some areas. He comes back to the table with a small tray of items and I am wondering if I'll be able to keep anything down.

He places the tray down and I look at the items he's brought and then up at him with a weak smile. "Is this good?"

"It's perfect," I quickly put his mind at ease. He offers me the small soup and puts the sandwich and pasta salad in the middle for us to share.

"And the brownie?"

"You always liked those," he answers casually and I can't help but reward him with a larger smile. We start into our lunch, neither of us talking and the silent tension starting to build once again.

"It's um hard to sit across from you like this and feel like two strangers," I finally admit with a heavy sigh. "Whatever you need to ask to clear the air, please do."

"Stella..."

"Mac, please. I can tell by the way you are about to break that fork in half that other things are bothering you. I could guess but I'd rather not. You know there is nothing to forgive...you know that right?" I query, gently touching his fingers and stopping his actions.

"I have a lot to be sorry for."

"Mac..."

"Stella, it wasn't just you. I yelled at Adam for no reason; practically came to a fist fight with Sinclair, treated the team like..." his voice trails off in torment and I finally see that he blamed himself for everything; all the actions that resulted he figured where all his fault until he left. I finally take the fork from his hand, forcing him to look up at me once more.

"Adam understood, he never thought less of you, in fact he tried to seek you out to say he was sorry also. He also felt to blame. Sinclair still hasn't filled your position, because much like myself, he knows you were the best right hand he ever have and are hard to replace. The team knew you were human; despite the impenetrable shield that you used to cover yourself with. No one faulted you Mac, no one; for any of it."

"They didn't have to," he offered weakly, his voice about to crack. "I should have kept myself in check."

"So should have I," I counter and he looks at me in surprise. "That's right Mac, this all started because I didn't keep myself in check like I normally did. I gave in to a human weakness and have regretted it ever since. So you seeif you are going to buy a one way ticket on the self pity train, you better purchase one for me, because I'm just as much to blame as you. That's why it's unfair for you to always think this is all on you."

"Just want to make sure that..."

"Do you forgive me?" I am quick to question and he looks at me with a frown. "Mac you can't sit here and drown yourself in something that I am also to blame for."

Mac shakes his head, wanting to believe that only he was to blame. "But Cameron..."

"Is a beautiful child that came about from another act of human weakness. Do you regret him?"

"Not him personally, but the way it was done and that he doesn't have a mother. Not that I'd want Anna as his mother in my life but just...just that I wanted y...someone else and...Stella, I love him with my entire being," Mac admits weakly as he puts down his fork and pulls out his wallet. He quickly retrieves a picture of Cameron and gives it to me. "He has been the only part of my life for the past number of years that I didn't want to run away from."

"I admire you for that," I tell him warmly, looking at the beautiful child and then up at his father. "He has his father's eyes."

"Let's hope not his ability to make stupid decisions," Mac gently snorts and I have to smile. He puts the picture away and then looks at me with pain in those warm blue eyes. "I love him and want only the best for him. Sadly I know that's not me at times; but it's all he's got."

"That's better than most Mac," I praise and his face finally relaxes.

We delve back into our lunch a bit more before taking another break; the tension finally starting to ease a little.

"How does your mother like living in New York?" I have to wonder, wanting to change the subject away from our past mistakes.

"She misses Chicago at times," Mac informs me. "But I'm glad she's here. She's helped out so much with all the regular stuff. He's getting really good at..." Mac starts to explain. Seeing his face light up and his eyes sparkle as he tells me about the words Cameron can now read on his own, warm my heart more than I ever thought possible. The love that exudes from toward his son is something I admire; something I personally never had from a parent and am so thankful that Cameron Taylor didn't have to grow up a ward of the state.

"And in Central Park that was Thomas the Train right?"

"How did you..." Mac starts.

"Saw the sign when I left. Did he enjoy the show?"

"Very much. But it was a nice day and I'm glad you were there," he starts and then looks down. He takes my hand in his and I immediately feel warmth starting to flood that side of my body.

"Then I guess we have Cameron and Lindsay to thank for that. As you took him on his request and I went there on hers."

"Really?"

"I just needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air. I had planned to do some reading but when I saw you there, for some reason after we parted, reading was the last thing on my mind."

"Did I screw up your Saturday for you?"

"You threw a wrench into my plans but one that was long overdue," I admit and he smiles at my words. "You know I don't believe in fate because I'm charge of my own future, but call it what you will; I'm glad we were both there at the same time."

"Otherwise, this might not have happened," he finishes in a gentle tone, a slight frown on his handsome face.

"Better late than never right?"

"Right," Mac answers as he turns back to his lunch. But just as he's about to take another bite of his food, he offers a perplexed expression.

"What?"

"Sinclair never filled it?" He asks weakly.

"No. I wouldn't let him. I told you what before you left and I kept true to that," I reply in a soft tone. "Please don't read anything more into it," I lightly beg.

"I'll try not to but..."

"Good...it's something that only you can choose what to do with it."

XXXXXXXX

As much as I tell Stella that I won't dwell on the fact that my old position is still open; I can't help but wonder what going back would be like. I'm sure the gossip has started to circulate that I am now a single parent and I wonder if I did step foot through those doors, if I would be judged for my indiscretion. Stella tells me that it's in the past now and everyone has since moved on; Adam included, but I just can't help but wonder if I'd get a friendly welcome or told to get lost; that I abandoned them to something stupid and I'm not needed.

"Can I ask you about Chicago?" Stella softly questions and I look at her with a slight frown.

"Why I left?" I ask and she nods her head. "I tried to make a go of it there, I really did. But it wasn't the fresh start I thought I needed. I couldn't go back to the bar where I met Anna; fearing I'd be forced to relive my stupid actions. Being in the old neighborhood just brought back painful memories of watching my father die and then us being alone. And I really did like living in New York. I knew inside that I couldn't come back to..."

"You could have come back," Stella firmly tells me.

"I thought I couldn't," I answer meekly. "Thought I caused too much pain. I couldn't face you after what I did and how I treated you."

She offers me a weak smile and I can't help but smile in return.

"I heard about the opening in New Jersey through an old friend and made a few calls. I kept everything under the radar as I didn't really want to be found."

"Just wanted to disappear forever?"

"Almost did until Anna tracked me down for forced reality into my life," I huff with a sigh. "The team in Jersey was established and so I just handed in a letter with no forwarding information, told my mother I'd call, got on a plane and that was it. Anna found me a few months later, gave me Cameron and now we're here. My leaving Chicago wasn't as painful andand that's it," I stop, a lump forming in my throat once again. "Then Don found me and..."

"When did he know about Cameron?"

"When he first started he was still in a bad way; trying, much like me to make a new start and trying to put the past behind us. It took him a bit but then he settled in. I saw Danny only once; even then it was hard. Strained and just uncomfortable. But Don kept asking to come over and I would always put him off with one excuse or another or meet him in a neutral setting. He tried to call me on not working evenings or weekends but I just said my heart wasn't in it any more. Then one night he came over, kinda forced his way inside my apartment just in time for Cameron to call me daddy and that was it."

"Don told me some of it."

"I didn't want him to lie but knew I needed to keep my life private, my team still didn't know about Cameron. So when he applied for a Grade 2 detective position, I made him a deal."

"You bought his silence."

"That sounds sordid," I retort and she lightly laughs. "I guess it is. I just needed..."

"To make sure that the rest of us didn't find out."

"I never meant..." I try again only to have her touch my hand, instantly stopping my speech.

"The truth sometimes hurts Mac, that's life."

"Hated hurting people I care about."

"Me too," she agrees. "So what does Cameron do during the day?"

"He's pretty active," I answer, thankful once again for the distraction from mental self defeat. "I bought us a small SUV, a _family vehicle_," I lightly laugh and Stella offers a small smile. "My mom has a buggy that she sometimes uses, despite my protesting. I think he's too old, but she says when she's tired and he's tired and she can't carry him, it's the next best thing."

"But you don't use it."

"I don't use it," I answer firmly. "He's kinda shy around strangers at first..."

"Wonder who he gets that from."

"Right. But when you get talking to him, he never stops," I smirk. "My mother spends an hour everyday teaching him reading and writing...I'd um..I'd be lost without her. And so he's getting really good at identifying words when he and I sit down to read together. He's trying to print now. Mostly trying to copy what I or my mom have written andand the rest he's just your typical almost four year old. I would like to think I have done a good job but inside I think I've failed in many ways," I conclude with a heavy sigh as I look down at my hands.

"I think any parent would feel that way, especially an inexperienced one," Stella remarks in a non confrontational tone. And she's right, I have no experience at being a parent; I just go along each day and offer a prayer each night that I am doing my best and my son will turn out half normal.

"My mother tells me I'm doing a good job," I offer lightly and for a brief second Stella's face displays a look of discontent and then reverts back to her regular smile. "Stella?"

"I would agree with her."

"What was that look?"

"No look."

"Stella, I have known you for..." I stop and my voice starts to quiver. "You had a look. What did I say?"

"Shouldn't be only her offering you that compliment or support," she finally admits in a small tone. "And I have missed all that and I just regret that."

"Stella, you get after me for putting the blame on myself."

"If I hadn't..." she starts and then looks away once again. I gently touch her hand and she looks back at me with a weak smile. "I missed _you_," she finally confesses.

I look at her in warm surprise. "Y-you did?"

"I did and I still do. And I'm sorry if it's too soon to admit something so personal but I did Mac, I missed you. I missed us; our friendship, our bond, our partnership. I wasn't going to tell you but I um....I just had to."

She once again takes my fingers in her hand and starts playing with them, unable to look up.

"It's funny because I was afraid to tell you that also," I finally confess and she looks up at me with a strained expression. "We had worked so hard to build something...and I...I missed you too. I'm glad you told me."

Her lips curl into a faint smile, and I know it's hurting her just as much as it's hurting me inside to hear this small confession. This confession never should have been offered; these past four years, never taken place and the hurt and pain we caused each other never should have taken happened. But it all did and now we can just rely on the truth and past memories to ensure that we try to strengthen the bond we both know we have inside.

As much as I would want to just sit and spend all day talking to her and trying to make up for the past four years, I know I have to let her get back to her world and I to mine. How do we part?

"I want to move forward from this Mac."

"So do I but...how um...do we...you know..."

"So will I get to see Cameron again?" Stella suddenly asks, instantly pulling me from my mental stupor once again. "Spend some time with the two of you."

"Are you sure you want that?"

"Mac, he's a part of your life now; a big part. And if I want to be a part of your life once again..." she starts and I feel a lump starting to form. You never should have left my life, I want to tell her. Beg her once again for forgiveness for my stupidity.

"Stella..."

"Just like I want you to be a part of my life once again."

"Stella, you never were _not_ a part of my life," I try to convince her. Sadly her smile right now isn't genuine and I can tell she thinks I'm saying it to make both of us feel better. "I want you to believe that."

"I want to get to know your son Mac. I won't ever fault him for taking your time or you wanting to be with him; I think that's the way it should be. I am a bit envious and sometimes might feel selfish but that's the price right?"

"For both of us."

"For both of us," she agrees with misery in her voice.

And while I could never blame Cameron for wanting to dominate my time when I'm alone with him, I do now lament that I am not able to give Stella the time we need to rebuild what we lost; and I can't help but worry that she'll tire sharing the time with my son and just give up and I'll be alone and back at square one once again.

"I hear you thinking," she suddenly states and I gently frown.

"What do you hear?"

"That you are afraid I might not want to share time with your son," she tells me point blank and I look at her in wonder.

"That's part of it. I um, just don't want to feel selfish to either one of you."

"Anyone ever tell you, you put to much undo pressure on yourself?"

"My mother."

"She's right. But Mac you tell me right now if you, for whatever reason, don't want me to get to know Cameron and I'll understand."

"That would be selfish on my part."

"You're a parent now Mac, that's allowed."

"I want you to get to know him better; to be a part of his life. I really do want that," I try in a soft tone. But my brain flashes me images of Cameron holding up a picture of _his family_ with, who I assume was Stella in it, and I am now wondering if when she walks away as I assume she might, what affect it'll have on him. Will she be very friendly at first, gaining his trust and love and then deciding she doesn't want so much responsibility and then leave; forcing him to once again wake up with nightmares about his mother or draw me more sad pictures of a life I'll never have. I know I'm probably dwelling on something that might never happen; Stella might not walk away, but still I have to be prepared.

"But you don't want him to get hurt," she states plainly.

"It's still unnerving how easy you are able to do that," I refer to her being able to pick out thoughts from my brain.

"Tell you what," she says taking both hands and holding them firmly, forcing blue to once again collide with green. "We have covered a lot today, more than I actually thought we would but I don't want you to rush something you might not be ready for; sharing your son's life with me. So think about it and...and if you..." she tries, her voice now faltering also and my heart starting to ache.

"Stella please don't...I can't take seeing you like this. I do want you to share his life."

"You go home and talk to Cameron and then when you're ready, I'll be here," she finishes with a firm swallow.

"Will you?"

"I will. Will you?" She counters.

"I'm done running Stella."

"And I never left Mac."

I look at her in misery, once again cursing my own short sightedness over this damn whole thing. "I want him to know you. I just don't want to hurt him more than I have."

"Mac...just let me know okay. I am not going anywhere."

"I really want to believe that."

"I'll believe for both of us. Okay? Just trust in me this time."

I offer a simple nod and we both finally agree it's time to go; regrettably the rest of the day does need our attention. I quickly clean up the table and then hurry back to her side to walk with her out the door. We linger in the front of the coffee shop, neither really wanting to part.

"Stella I wan..."

"Talk to your son Mac, please?"

"I'm his father, he has to do what I say."

"Don't kid yourself, he has you wrapped around his little finger," she gently teases and I finally crack a half smile, pleased when she follows suit.

"I will talk to him and I call you," I promise as I lean in a little closer.

"I hope so," she tells me, gently placing her hand on my cheek. I quickly close her hand and offer a heavy sigh.

"Stella..."

"Thanks for lunch Mac. Best one I've had in a long time," she states with a firm smile and I can do little else but agree with a firm smile of my own. "Bye..." she lightly whispers as she turns to leave. But acting on impulse I gently take her arm and pull her back against me, holding her close for a few seconds; feeling our hearts racing in tandem.

"I missed you," I whisper.

"I missed you too," she whispers as she plants a warm kiss on my cheek. "Thank you Mac."

"For what?"

"For coming back to me."

"I'm sorry I left. I'll call you," I tell her as she nods before finally turning and heading for the familiar Avalanche. I can do little more than watch golden curls bouncing around her firm shoulders, but when she turns to give me one last smile, my mood lifted a little higher. There was so much more I wanted to tell her and part of me just wants to rush after her, once again take her into my arms and hold her close and never let go.

But in order for this to work, I know in my mind and heart that I need to take it slow, for her sake and that of my son. I want to believe that she's in it for the long haul, but I don't want to presume anything right now; I'm just grateful that I haven't passed out from a massive heart attack.

I watch her leave and then slowly turn and head for the Jersey Suburban, waiting to deliver me back to work. And while the rest of the day will be spent reliving that last hour, I know when I go home tonight, another important discussion will ensure; a heart to heart, of sorts, with my son; the other person that also stands to either lose or gain in this whole situation. And in the end I want more than anything for this to work in our favor, I want Stella; I love her more than anything and I the three of us to be a real family.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter was longer than the others in this story and hope that was okay and you all weren't bored! eek! Okay so a bit more out of the way and the healing process well under way. What will Mac and Cameron decide? Will the three of them have their outing? Please let me know what you thought. Thanks again in advance.

Please check out the special Vid that SMackedFan made that fits this story so well. You ROCK gurl! Thanks http://www(DOT)/watch?v=7AxbSa2dgv8


	5. A Little Heart to Heart

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 5 - A Little Heart to Heart**

**A/N**: Okay so since no one seemed to complain about longer chapters from now on they'll be longer and jam packed! Hope that's still okay and enjoy!

* * *

I get back to the office and I'm as suspected emotionally drained. What I had told Mac was true, we had covered more than I thought we would. To be honest, I thought we would spend more of our lunch hour in a silent stale mate, neither wanting to open up or do anything that might jeopardize the fragile emotional state of the other. But I'm glad we got more of the pain out of the way as this way I know the healing process can continue.

I want this to work, for us to become the solid best friends I know we can be again and then build on something more together; a real romantic relationship and then a loving family arrangement. I am sure before I screwed up with Adam and especially after Greece we would have tried to take things to the next level; that was the most progressive step in our amazing relationship.

But I sensed fear and saw uncertainty in those warm blue eyes today. _He has Cameron to think about now_, Lindsay had told me before I left this morning. And she's right.

"Oh what have I done..." I moan as I bury my head in my hands and allow a long heavy sigh to escape my lips.

"Didn't go so well?" Lindsay dares to ask as she watches me with a kind smile.

I look up and then gesture for her to enter and take a seat.

"What happened?"

"I just wish none of this had ever happened. At first it was strained and it felt like pulling teeth just to speak two words. Mac and I never had that before. Before it was so...so natural between us. Feels like we might have lost that."

"Stella, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"So was anything positive about it at all? Is there not even a small sliver of hope?"

"Define small?" I retort in sarcasm.

"Stella..."

"Just seeing him today...I miss us...the way Mac and I used to be; when we could look at each other and know right away with the other is thinking, without even a saying a word."

"And that is gone?"

"Well it's still there, but when the talk of Cameron comes up then it's he reverts back into his emotional cave and I don't know how to coax him out."

"Stella, he has reason to be worried about his son. He fears he's already made a mistake once and now wonders if you'll even want to be around for the long haul, now that it's just not him."

"I tried to tell him that."

"Mac remember. Mac Taylor equals thick head at the best of times," Lindsay states and I offer a soft smile.

"I want to convince him that I want him back in my life; him and Cameron."

"Stella..."

"Lindsay I love him," I finally confess. "I know I always have and it was just cemented when he came to Greece. But then we lost Jess and I lost my grip on reality and it cost me big time. I know I can't tell him that I love him; especially right now but I want to get to that point; I'm just not sure he wants to."

"Trust me he does; he's just scared. Scared of being hurt, as you are by each other and scared for the future for his son, especially one with a mother in Iraq. Trust me, Cameron probably asks about her from time to time and it probably hurts Mac a lot each time he has to tell his son the truth. Time could have helped you forget if you wanted; but each time he looks at his son, he's forced to remember. As long as his son is alive, he'll always remember what he did; always remember that mistake."

"It does hurt Mac, he told me," I state weakly. "We cleared the air a little but he's still holding onto the same guilt I am. That he needs forgiveness for something that he isn't even to blame for; pushing me away. And I told him I missed him; Lindsay I had to, it was the truth and I wanted him to know."

"Did it freak him out?"

"No, the opposite. It forced him to return the same confession. That was the best thing I have heard from him I think in forever. Funny when we were together and he'd tell me he missed me, I would take it for granted. But hearing him say that today warmed my heart more than he will ever know."

"How did it end?"

"I told him I wanted to see Cameron again. I know that if things are to progress that Mac and I will need our alone time to try to rekindle what we lost romantically, but I also wanted him to know that I want to spend time with both of them. Did I do the right thing?" I query with a heavy sigh.

"First of all you have to rebuild, not rekindle. I know the spark between you two never left; it wouldn't have, no matter how long you would have been apart."

"But..."

"He's just afraid, as any single parent would be that he'll invest his son's emotional well being into a person that might just up and walk away; perhaps just using them until something better comes along."

"Lindsay, in my heart I love Mac, more than anything. I would never do that to either of them."

"Stella, I know and believe you; but I am not the one you need to convince."

"And how do I do that?"

"Time."

"Damn it!" I gently curse as I look at her with a weak smile. "I hate time. But I know you are right. So now what?"

"What happened when you left?"

"I told him to talk to his son and see if it was okay that I come into their lives and then...well go from there I guess?"

"Sounds like a good plan. Trust me Stella's he's going to call and I'll bet every weekend from here into eternity will be taken up with the two Taylor's."

"Like the sound of that."

"Did you actually eat?"

"We shared lunch. Mac picked it out for us," I smile.

"And you're worried about this not working?" She arches a brow.

I smile at her words and offer her a soft nod. "Yes a little. What do you think his mother will say?"

"Go for it Mac?" Lindsay lightly laughs. "Actually I don't know. I want to believe that she doesn't hold any hard feelings toward you but since it never came up I don't know."

"Was afraid to ask. I mean this is her son and grandson..."

"Of course she'll be worried for them; she loves them and has been the stable woman in Cameron's life since he came into their world. That you'll just have to take on a leap of faith."

"Faith," I huff as I lean back in my chair. "I guess at this moment that's all I have right?"

"You have the promise of the future Stella, that is something a lot don't have."

"Thanks for listening," I tell her warmly as she finally pushes herself up to leave.

"You going to be okay?"

"I am going to get into this paperwork or I'll drive myself insane wondering what Mac is doing right now or how tonight will go. As it is I doubt I'll sleep normally until I hear his voice again."

Lindsay smiles as she takes her leave and I get started on my files. _Mac, please tell me I haven't lost you for good_, my brain lightly laments. And while I tell myself that he'll talk to his son and get his mother's buy in; call me and we'll start toward our solid future together, I can't be sure until I either hear those words for myself or see proof that that is what we are both working toward.

"I love you Mac. Please come back to me for good. Let us be a real family."

* * *

As suspected the rest of the day flew by and by the time I got home, I was mentally drained. My brain kept replaying, dissecting and analyzing every word that was exchanged over the lunch I shared with Stella. Flack had called to see how it went and I told him a little better than expected but I really wanted to discuss this with my mother and my son; wanting to spare Flack the happiness I was feeling inside since his own personal loss is still something that is raw and painful for him. He tried to assure me that he was okay with me being happy with Stella and wanting a future with her and my son, but even still I know it hurts him to not have Jessica around to plan a future with.

I reach home with a heavy mind and racing heart.

"Cameron is sleeping," my mother quickly informs me as I gently close the door and lock it. "Gives us time to talk about today."

"Today was fine."

"I'd say by the cryptic smile on your face, it was more than fine."

"I'm not trying to rea...it was great to see her again, to spend some real time with her after so long."

"So it went well?"

"It was strained at first," I start as I put my coat away and then head for my bedroom to change. My mother gently takes my arm and steers me toward the couch.

"Change when your son is awake, I want to know what happened? From the top."

"She looked great, but then she always did," I start in a soft tone, looking down at my fingers. "For a split second I thought she wouldn't show."

"So once you got past the typical Mac Taylor female standing you up paranoia, then what?" My mother asks and I look at her with a frown. "McCanna you have been that way around women all your life," she gently touches my cheek. "You have never doubted yourself in school, combat or at work. But when it comes to the things you really love; Stella in particular, you have always been lost."

"Love?"

"You know you love her. If you didn't, you would have moved on long ago and you know it. You have had offers, you know that and never batted an eye even once. Now tell me, how did it go?"

"Well I forgot what you told me and brought up the past a little. I had to," I start with a heavy exhale. "I just had to clear the air a little more and let her know that I was sorry for the way I made her feel when I left."

"And she said she was sorry too right?" My mother asks and I nod my head.

"But it had to be said. She asked about Chicago and why I left. I told her the truth and then how I found the job here and how Don found out. It wasn't that elaborate or anything but it was finally said."

"Did you tell her she was the reason you left?"

"No and to make matters worse, she never filled my position; Sinclair backed her on it also. They are waiting for me to return."

"McCanna you can..."

"I can't go back. Too many reminders of..."

"When your father first died, remember all the grief I took because I refused to sell the house?"

"I remember the stress you were under."

"Millie how can you live there? In that house? Go into that room where McCanna died? How can you face that each day? I could because I forced myself to remember the good times. Sure the bad ones would still be there; and even now, certain times of the year I will remember those bad times and have my cry and that's it. Whatever you decide my son will be the same for you. The bad memories are still there, but you can choose to put them behind you and remember the good ones."

"Stella said that Adam tried to find me to tell me he was sorry. He was sorry. Damn it, I yelled at him!"

"They saw you as human, you just didn't remember that about yourself."

"That is why I can't go back; especially now."

"That is why you can go back," my mother argues and I look at her in frustration. "Stop looking at all the roadblocks. Inside you know as much as you enjoy your job here, this team isn't yours; your team is in Manhattan waiting for you to return. Now what else? Did you even eat lunch?"

"I bought us a few things to share."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Your idea?"

"Yes."

"And you're worried about things not progressing with Stella?"

"I love her mother, inside I do," I finally confess. "I love her more than any other woman I have known in my life; sometimes I think more than Claire. Maybe because I have known Stella longer. But I have Cameron to think about. What if she gets to know him and then decides she doesn't want to be a regular part of his life; a step mother. And I know I am rushing things but..."

"But that's all you know how to do. McCanna your son is you. Stella loves you and she'll love your son."

"She never told me she loves me," I insist.

"Yes she did; you just didn't hear it. And while she might not have used those exact words, _yet_, she's told you a few times. You just need to make sure the next time she does, when she actually says those words, that you'll be ready to return what you know in your heart."

"What happened to taking it slow?" I counter with a soft smile.

"You still need something to build on. Now how was it left?"

"She asked to see Cameron again. I want her to get to know him but..."

"Are you even listening to yourself? _She_ asked. Not the other way round. She wants to be a part of his life also. Trust me, if she wasn't interested in even contemplating that serious a role, she wouldn't have asked. As I said before, Stella Bonasera is not a player. I for one couldn't be happier that the woman my son loves and has been pining away for, for the past four years wants to be in his life once again; wants him and his son. How could a mother and grandmother not want that? Especially given the fact that I actually adore Stella and wouldn't want to see you with anyone other than her."

"But she..."

"So did you," my mother shoots back. "You are both human. Now enough of that. What are you going to tell her about seeing her next?"

I look back down and feel my heart rate starting to rise once again. My mother's hand rests on my back and gently rubs it.

"Mac, what does your heart tell you?"

"I want to see her again; I want her and I to draw closer and I want the three of us to work toward something more permanent; a real family. How do I get all that?"

"With time. Today was a start and you'll take Cameron to the park on Saturday with Stella and go from there. But you need to be honest with your son right from the start. He's a smart boy, he'll know when you're not home as much anymore to be with him. He needs to know why. Don't think he can't understand."

"I don't want that."

"What?"

"I want us to be together, the three of us. Not me sneaking out Friday night's because I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with him like I normally would."

"What are you saying?"

"I...I don't know," I conclude with a heavy sigh.

"You need regular weekly date nights with Stella and you need time for the three of you."

"Damn do I have time for work in there also?" I ask with a sideways smirk as my son finally makes himself known.

"Daddy..." he gently remarks with a sleepy voice.

"Hey sweet boy come here," I offer gently and his runs into my waiting arms. I pull him close and hold him tightly against my chest, his small arms wrapping around my neck and his warm lips on my face.

"I missed you daddy," he comments. I position him on my lap and look into his warm blue eyes and my frown can't help but disappear.

"Cameron do you remember the pretty Lady we met in the park? Stella?" I ask and he nods his head.

"Stella?" He asks with a frown. I would bring up the picture he drew but I know right now isn't the time for another bout of depression on his part asking for his mother, so I decide to forgo it for now.

"The Lady from the park. Would you like to Stella again?"

"Kay."

I look at Cameron and offer a heavy sigh. "Cameron she is a very special friend of daddy's and you are going to be seeing her a lot more; hopefully on a permanent basis. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Can I ...atch Thomas?" He asks and I have to smirk at his innocent question, the look on his face one that warms my heart.

"I just want to be honest with you Cameron. Stella, I hope, is going to be around both of us for a long time. Sometimes daddy is going to spend some alone time with her and sometimes the three of us will spend some alone time all together. Is that okay?"

"And Gamma?"

"Gamma too," is smile. "Is that okay?"

"Sure. Can I ...atch Thomas?" He urges once more.

"Do you want to go to the park with Stella on Saturday?"

"Yay!" He states enthusiastically, clapping his hands with joy and I have to gently chuckle.

"Do you think it would be okay for daddy to see Stella more than once?"

"Sure," he shrugs, looking at me with a frown. "Daddy..." he insists. "Please go ...atch?"

"WAtch...say it right."

"Watch..." he repeats and I give him a kiss and he's happy once more.

"Well I think that settles that. Go Watch Thomas," I tell him as I allow him to hop off my knee and rush for the TV remote. I look back at my mother and offer a heavy sigh.

"And when the time is right, the four of us will spend some alone time," she gently adds.

"Are you sure?"

"To see my son happy with his son and the woman he loves? My only son with a woman who loves him and an adoring child? McCanna you have a lot to learn still don't you?"

"I guess that's obvious," I sigh heavily as I finally push myself up and look at my son, who is now on the floor, fully ensconced in his toys and the TV. "I don't think he understood all that."

"He doesn't have to," my mother reminds me as she pushes herself up to leave. "You told him the truth and will continue to do so; in the long run, that's all that will really matter. Now go and get changed and then I'm going to give you your alone time with your son. I love you McCanna, don't ever forget that," she warmly kisses my cheek.

"Did you by any chance kiss her?" My mother asks with an arched brow.

"On the cheek."

"Can I say I told you so right now?" She smiles as she goes to take her leave.

I walk into my bedroom and start to undress. But just as I hang up my dress shirt, I turn to see Cameron rush into my room and jump on my bed, tugging at my now open dress pants and pulling me back down.

"Let's go to the park ...ith Stella," he mumbles and I just shake my head.

"With," I stress the W once again. "On Saturday. That's in three days."

"Go now daddy," he moans as he grabs my belt and starts to twist it around. "Go now..."

"I said on the weekend," I tease as I pull him close and start to tickle him once more.

"St-stop...daddy..." he laughs as he tries to wriggle free. I hear my front door softly close, but the silence is soon filled with mine and my son's laughter as we share another precious bonding moment; my love for him growing with each second that passes.

_Oh Stella, I have to believe in my heart that one day soon we'll be the family we always wanted; all three of us._

* * *

Slowly pacing my quiet apartment is driving me mentally insane. Mac is lucky he has someone to go home to; my TV just not filling the emotional gap I need it to right now. I try to picture what he's telling Cameron, and knowing Mac he'll tell him the truth. But I do wonder if he'll get frustrated when Cameron doesnt understand or will press him where his mother is.

"Stella, just keep yourself busy," I command in a firm tone as I flip to the hockey game and try to keep my brain focused on something other than the second hand slowly ticking past, laughing as it languishes in my miserable state.

I want to believe that Mac will call tonight, but in reality I don't think he will. He'll probably play out every last worse case scenario before he downs a small amount of food and then spend the rest of the night in a mental battle.

"Hopefully I'm wrong," I softly whisper to myself. "Hopefully he'll have his mother there to beat some reason into his brain and...gosh what if she tells him to run the opposite direction from me? How could she not hate me for hurting her son like that? I know he told her about me; and I know she knows he came to Greece looking for me. Damn my stupidity!" I curse myself, shaking my head in angry frustration.

I finally finish my dinner and head into the kitchen. But just as I am about to start the dishes the phone rings. I hurry toward it, my heart already racing in anticipation.

"Mac!" I exclaim with a wide smile as I answer.

"Stella?" He asks warmly and I can now picture his handsome face, with a smile upon his lips as he talks to me.

"Was hoping you'd call tonight."

"Cameron is not big on conversation," he gently chuckles and I can picture the corners of his eyes creasing as he probably looks at his son while speaking.

"But you asked him right?" I ask in a soft tone, trying to downplay my nervous anxiety; my brain still fearing the answer of no.

"Stella, are you sure that you want this?"

"Mac, I wish I was there right now to convince you that I am not fooling around. I know you are worried about your son's emotional well being after his mother left him and I..." my voice breaks at the thought of the slim chance that she never would have found Mac and he'd become a product of the system at such a tender age; just like I was.

"Stella?"

"Sometimes hard to think about what might have happened if she never found you Mac. Would never want any child to grow up like I did. That's why I am not just telling you something you think you want to hear. I am telling you what I am feeling inside. I know we have been apart for four years and I know you're scared, I am also but..."

"But it's something we both want," Mac finishes in a soft tone and I can hear the heartache in his voice. "Do we _both _want it?"

"Please believe me Mac. I want to get to know your son and be a part of his life; in whatever capacity you want. I am not just going to assume it's me that wants well..."

"Well what Stella? Tell me," His voice pleads; almost begging me for the answer I know his heart longs to hear.

"The three of us to be together and happy; I'll leave the rest of the details up to you. He's your son Mac."

"I do want that for the three of us," he sighs heavily. "We can come in to see you. Just name the place and we'll be there," he states eagerly.

"Mac, I don't mind driving. You came into Central Park; now it's my turn to..."

"Stella, I don't mind."

"Mac, I'm driving and that's final," I insist and warm laughter finally fills my ears and my lips curl into a smile.

"So the park that..."

"PARK DADDY!" I hear Cameron shout from the background and my heart starts to weigh heavily in my chest.

"Daddy's on the phone Cameron," I hear Mac state in a hushed tone. "Sorry, he's excited already. A few minutes ago he had his jacket almost all the way on."

I picture the small child in my mind and my frown disappears. "I want to know him Mac. I want you to believe that."

"I want to believe that too."

"Do you?"

"Stella..."

"Mac, in order for this to work you have to believe inside that it will work."

"I want us to be together. That's what I am going to believe in."

"Me too."

"Okay so..."

Mac's warm voice fills my head with directions as I frantically write them down and then there is silence once again.

"That sounds great. Mac?"

"Yeah...I'm here."

"What is it? Tell me please. This silence is killing me."

"Nothing," he replies in a small voice and I can picture the heavy frown on his handsome face, probably pushing a hand through his short dark hair and messing it up a little; adding a little boyish charm that now is mirrored in his son.

"Mac?"

"Just thinking back to the park when I first saw you...I am sorry I didn't tell you this then and I wish I was in person to face you but I don't want to let another day go by without telling you this..._you're beautiful_."

By the time the last syllable left his lips, my eyes had produced fresh tears. Now it was my turn to return silence, while my brain replayed over and over again those two simple words packed with such heartfelt meaning.

"Stella?"

"Thank you Mac," I state warmly. "I um...almost don't want to believe it."

"Please do," he urges and I my lips have finally cracked a half smile. "It's true and how I felt when I saw you. Just was too nervous to actually say it. Wasnt sure you'd want to hear it or even care that I said it."

Even now, hearing the pain in his voice tells me he's still carrying so much hurt in his mind and heart and that, those feelings won't just disappear over night. It'll be up to time now to heal those wounds.

"I did care Mac, I never stopped caring about you. I guess that's why it hurt so much and probably still does."

"I know," he whispers in reply; the pain now replaced with uncertainty. "I wish I could talk to you all night...just to talk."

"We'll have time Mac. As I said before, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm glad; I'm not either. I guess I should say _we're_ not."

"Mac, go and be with your son and I'll see you on Saturday."

"I want us to also spend some time together Stella," he tells me in a firmer tone. "Just you and me, well alone."

"I'd like that Mac, very much."

"Really?" He queries with a slight hint of eagerness in his tone.

"Very much."

"We can discuss that if you survive Saturday."

"Mac, I grew up around kids, trust me, I'm not intimidated by any means. This is your son; how could I not adore him right away?"

"Oh don't kid yourself, his sweet side is sometimes a facade," Mac informs me and I can once again see a smile on his face.

"Let me be the judge of that. I'll see you on Saturday, Goodnight Mac."

"Night Stella."

Mac hangs up as I slowly put the phone back on its cradle and then lean against the wall with a happy face, my nervous tension that I had built up before the call all but spent. His compliment is still dancing around inside my brain and I am more than happy he confessed it to me. _You're beautiful. _Two words that will carry me well into the weekend. But I'll have to ask Lindsay the etiquette on taking a gift to a small child right away as I don't want him to expect anything but I also want him to like me.

"It's a bribe," I chuckle to myself as I finish the dishes and then finally head into my bedroom; happy but mentally and emotionally drained. This day has taken more than its toll on my inner strength. And while I know our call was just another small step in the right direction, I still feel tension and anxiety inside that something is still lurking to steal away our future happiness.

"And I won't let that happen. I just got you back in my life Mac, and I'll do anything I have to, to keep you there."

* * *

"Love you daddy," Cameron murmurs as I gently pick him up from off the living room floor and carry him to his bedroom. I carefully place him on the mattress and then lightly struggle with his curled up body as I try to get him into his pajamas.

"Goodnight Cameron," I whisper as I kiss his soft cheek and cover him with the blanket, turning on the baby monitor and small light. My mother told me to still use the monitor when I have the gate closed so that if he has to take up and go to the bathroom, I'll know. Being a light sleeper, I never have trouble waking up to help him. Anna actually did a good job of potty training him; one more thing I am thankful I didn't have to worry about screwing up.

I look at him once more, leaning against the door frame and now wondering what effect Stella coming back into my life on a permanent basis will have on him. My mother said the transition should be okay because he's still young but I can't help but worry. Will he wake up crying more often than he did before; the small memories of his mother now coming back to haunt him? And if so will he grow to hate me for that? I think I am being melodramatic, but I can't help it. I have already messed up my life; I want only the best for him.

I finally ease myself into bed and pull a blanket over me, but even with my mental exhaustion from today's events, my brain refuses to allow me to fall into sleep. It wants to stay awake analyzing everything like it did in the past. What did Stella mean when she said this? How will our actions affect that?

I think back to the compliment I offered. I had to tell her; it was the truth and I wanted her to know how I personally felt about her. She is beautiful; the only woman I'll ever want to look at twice; the only woman that has kept me from looking at another woman even once, over the past number of years. Anna didn't count, as I was drunk and she resembled Stella. And while I didn't tell Anna that while having sex with her I pictured Stella's face to ease my own seared conscience, I will carry that truth to the grave.

I finally feel sleep starting to tug at my eye lids and know that I need to get some rest; I doubt I'll be sleeping the night before our next outing. I had wanted to invite her out; just her and I on Friday night, alone. But I also want her to get to know Cameron and want to believe that we have all the time we think we have.

"Go to sleep Mac," I command myself, trying to push aside worried thoughts in favor of happy dreams about seeing Stella again. I finally settle my mind on her expression when I told her she was beautiful and my eyes finally close for the night. I awake the next morning to urgent calls from my son to open the locked gate, keeping him in his room.

"Hold on," I groan as I push myself out of bed and then slowly wander over to his room.

"Daddy open gate!" He demands with a slight scowl.

"Nice mad face," I tease as I poke his warm side and his lips start to tug into a small smile.

"Daddeeeeee," he moans as I fiddle with the latch.

"Oh can't get it open. Cameron is going to have to stay in his room all day," I tease as I kneel down to him.

"Daddeeee," he moans again as his small hands start to tug at my t-shirt. His fingers mess up my hair and I have to laugh as his hand snakes through an opening and pinch my side. But when I laugh his face relaxes. I finally open the gate and he tries to rush past. I grab onto his arm and pull him back into my strong arms and hold him close, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Want to go watch Dora..." he huffs as he tries to struggle free. I plant a warm kiss on his cheek and allow him to run free as I head back into my bedroom to get dressed for the day. With the promise of Saturday still dancing to the fore inside my mind, I am now wondering once again how I'll get through the next two days. Part of my mind also keeps telling me that my real team is still waiting for me to return.

"But I can't go back," I try to reason as I pull on my dress pants. As much as Stella has tried to convince me that everyone has moved on; it's different for me.

"I'm a single father now," I gently frown as I button up my shirt. "It's not like widower Mac Taylor is going to go back and just have to explain my disappearance. I have a son to account for now."

I would like to think I could walk in there and not be judged. I know for the most part that once the initial shock wears off, people might forget. But I have a lot...

"Stop it Mac," I command myself once more as I finally head into the living room to see Cameron sitting at his small activity table drawing. I wander over to Cameron and smile as I look down at what he's doing. He must have seen something on TV as he's drawing it now.

"What is that?" I ask as my son looks up with a bright smile.

"Thomas and Joe," he tells me and I have to smirk at the crude figure of the train and the action figure sort of melded together as one. "And daddy."

I arch my brows at the shape that represents me as I ease myself down beside him. I start into my drawing and he decides I need some color and so starts to color over my images. I have come to learn that he's just trying to be helpful; so unlike the first time when I scolded him for ruining the picture I was making for him, allow him to work on the same piece of paper as I am on a creation we are making together.

"What's that daddy?" He queries as he looks up at me in wonder.

"Daddy and Cameron and Joe and Stella on the train."

He offers a big smile as he takes the paper from my hands and starts to color the rest of the white space. I push myself back up and then head into kitchen. I hear him offer a small chuckle at his own work; but when I turn back I see Stella coloring beside him and a lump automatically forms in my throat. I feel myself wanting to dwell on negative what if scenario's but know if I do then I'll never get through the day with mental happiness.

"Gamma!" Cameron shouts as he hears a soft knock on the door and hurries behind me.

"Morning," she greets us, instantly gathering her grandson into her arms and holding him close while he plants numerous kisses on her cheek.

I remember when I first told her about Cameron; the strain in her voice and I wondered if she'd be able to cope with not only moving here, but helping me raise him. But seeing them together; the happiness he brings her, I know I made the right decision. And I know, no matter what happens with Stella, she'll be around to help all of us grow together as a family; as it should be.

"So I doubt you asked her out Friday night, but you also need some real alone time with Stella, a strained, rushed lunch hour doesn't count. Maybe in the past it would have been a miracle for you two; but that has changed now."

"How do you know she even said yes for Saturday?" I press with a frown.

"Because you are not the mystery you think you are. Trust me McCanna, I know you and that smile you are still trying to hide is telling me the truth."

"Just trying to work everything out in my mind."

"You analyze things to much."

"I made it for early afternoon. Do we go for dinner afterward?"

"You always do on Saturday don't you?"

"I can't take Stella to a family restaurant," I moan as I head into the kitchen to get my travel cup of coffee before I head out the door to work. And while either her or I always ensure that Cameron has a full and proper breakfast, I still haven't convinced myself of the personal need. I wonder if that will change if we do become a real family?

"Yes you can and you will," my mother states warmly as she kisses me on the cheek. "If not for the two of you, then do it for your son. He's the one out of all of this that needs a real family."

"Trust me mother, both of us do."

* * *

Thursday passed by without note. By the time Friday had rolled around, I had spent most of my working lunch hour, juggling paperwork and finding areas around the park that I was going to meet Mac and Cameron at on Saturday afternoon. I never thought I would be so excited to go to the park but now I can't wait for today to pass by.

"TGIF!" Lindsay smiles as she hovers in the entrance to my office. "Just a few more hours."

"Should I bring a toy or something for Cameron?" I ask her with a slight frown. "I know kids like snacks and stuff but..." my voice trails off, forcing a broad smile to appear on her lips. "What?"

"Yeah you'll make a fine mother."

"Mother? What?

"Sorry step mother."

"Lindsay I..."

"You're kidding right? I'll bet when you were talking to Mac the other night, you were picturing either yourself with them or them with you."

"I was. I heard Cameron's voice calling to his daddy and I couldn't help it. Lindsay it was one of the most heartwarming images my brain has ever offered me about Mac."

"It'll come for real."

"So about the toy? Something small right? Or do you think I'm buying his affection? Will he expect it every time? Damn it Lindsay, what do I do?" I ask in frustration and she gently laughs.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to bring him something but I don't want him to think I'll bring him something every time."

"Stella, he's four, not forty. A child that age isn't going to ponder the reason behind the gift. Of course he'll love it and he'll love you for giving it to him, right there. Next time you see him, he'll have forgotten."

"I thought maybe a small train toy since I know he likes Thomas the Train. I didn't have time to ask Mac all the other things he likes but I'm hoping tomorrow to get some more insight into that."

"Well in a few weeks I want to have the three of you over for dinner...start putting the bug in Mac's ear now; get him used to the fact that we want him back in our lives."

"Sounds wonderful but I doubt he'll go for that."

"He might not at first, but I did say a couple of weeks. Cameron and Lucy are almost the same age and I know it'll help to break the ice."

"Or might make him feel like he has to explain everything."

"Just make sure you cover that right from the start."

"Real life is hard work," I retort and she laughs. We both look up to see Danny lightly tapping on the glass and then slowly enter with a pensive expression.

"Safe to enter?" Danny queries.

"I just told Stella what we talked about last night."

"We'd like big Mac and little Mac to be a part of us once again Stella," Danny tells me with a slight frown.

"He still feels guilty about how he treated everyone. He feels like if he even comes back for a visit then he'll have to explain to everyone everything all over again and be judged for what he did...." my voice trails off as a small lump forms in my throat.

"Maybe if he knows that we know ahead of time, then coming back won't be as strained."

"As much as I want Mac back at my side; leader of this lab again, I can't just assume that's what he wants."

"Well just let us know."

I talk to them a bit longer before I watch them leave and know it's time to take my leave as well. I head outside into traffic, but when I hail a cab I give them the mall address as opposed to my own home address. I have settled in my mind that I'll buy a small Thomas the Train figure and bring some snacks in my bag just in case. I know Mac probably has that all covered and I can't wait to see him in action.

"Mac is a father," I whisper with a happy smile as I lean my head back on the seat of the cab; allowing images of Mac and his son at the park to fill my tired brain.

I reach the mall and head for the toy store. I ask for the Thomas the Train section and slowly wander in that direction for my gift. I wander past the GI Joe area and have to laugh when I see a small figure named 'Mac', one I know I have to buy for my own Mac.

"How old is your son?" One of the store clerks ask me.

I look at the young girl and smile. Knowing inside that it would take too much for me to explain about the semantics behind Cameron's parentage, I take the easy way out.

"Almost four."

"My nephew is the same age. Get this one," she directs me to a green train with a big smile on it. "If he doesn't have it, he'll love it."

"Thank you," I answer as I take the figure and then along with my GI Joe figure head for the cashier. Now I know why in a kids store they put all the yummy looking candy right beside the check out; forcing unsuspecting parents to give in to their child's demands while waiting to pay. But as I picture the bright smile on Cameron's face, I too am caught up in the trap and find myself purchasing a variety of items I haven't tasted since I was a kid.

After I purchase the toys and candy I slowly wander the mall, heading for the market attached. I pass by a bookstore and head inside; wandering toward a section I never thought I would visit in my life parenting. I quickly scan the topics and then finally settle my eyes on a small book that talks about how to be a successful step parent. My fingers reach for the book, but then quickly pull back.

_But I have to be sure Cameron wants that of me,_ my brain reminds me. _Buy it next time!_

So before I can change my mind, I quickly turn on my heel and leave the store, leaving the book; heading for the market with a now rapidly beating heart. I purchase a few granola bars and some trail mix, a small packet of cheese and crackers and a few other things that I am assuming both might want to snack on.

I will of course keep them hidden until needed, but in case they are, I want Mac to know that I put thought into this and want him and his son in my life on a permanent basis.

"I just hope I can make you believe that Mac," I mention to myself as I finally head outside and toward home. And for most active, single, women my age staying home on a Friday night preparing for a park date with a single father, wouldn't seem that interesting or exciting.

But as Mac's handsome face forces its way into the front of my mind once again; there is nothing else right now that I'd want to be doing; unless it was with the two of them directly.

"See you tomorrow Mac," I whisper as I finish my dinner and then into the bathroom to get ready for bed. "Tomorrow my life changes forever," I finish with a smile.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay so sorry if that seems like a lame place to leave it. I know this is a filler chapter but wanted to add a few more bonding details before they meet in the park next. Hopefully it wasn't boring and you still want more and thanks! Please review and let me know!


	6. The Things Little Boys are Made of

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 6 -The Things Little Boys are Made of**

**A/N: **A special thanks to everyone so far for all the amazing reviews, alerts and faves for this story. I truly do appreciate your comments and especially the time to read. So happy that you all didn't think it too sad or angsty to continue. But lots more happy moments and some angst (eek) still to come. Hope you enjoy this chapter also. Thank you once again!!

* * *

To say the day had ended on a tense note was an understatement. I missed Stella twice on Thursday and then when I tried her today she had already left and by the time I got home, my mood was tense and the last thing I wanted to hear from my mother was that Cameron didnt have his nap and was a little grumpy.

"Thanks," I lightly groan as my mother takes her leave and I dump my coat and then look at my son with a slight frown.

"Park daddy!" Cameron states as he rushes for the door and grabs his jacket. I offer a soft grunt but it's not until I hear him trying the door handle that I turn back in a panic; rushing to him with a heavy sigh.

"Want to go to the park daddy," Cameron moans as I struggle get his jacket off.

"Cameron we are going tomorrow."

"NO!" He shouts in protest, crossing his arms and pulling away. "Want to go now!"

"We can't go now."

"YES!"

I offer a heavy sigh, not wanting to get my temper off but I have been on edge since Wednesday thinking about tomorrow and his little tantrum isn't helping. But since I am not about to get into a shouting match with a four year old, I quickly count to ten and speak once again in a calm tone.

"Cameron do you want a spank?"

"Want to go to the park now!" He demands as he pulls away and heads into his room.

"The answer is no," I state firmly as I quickly follow after him.

"Lets go daddy....lets me GO!" He shouts as I finally unzip his jacket and start to tug it off his arms.

"Cameron do you want a spanking?"

"NO!" He shouts, his face flushed and his eyes threatening tears.

I know he's tired but I am not about to give in to his demands. I reach for the second sleeve when he hits my hand and looks at me with an angry face.

I gently but firmly take him by the arm and force him to look at me straight on.

"Cameron we are going to the park tomorrow and that is final. I dont want to give you a spanking as I believe you are just over tired and gramma didn't give you a nap today. If you give me your jacket like the good little boy I know you are, we'll forget the spanking. If you do not give it to me at the end of three, you will get one."

My mother always told me to be firm but kind when disciplining a child and only resort to the actual spank if a hard lesson needs to be learned. Reasoning with a child will yield far better results and foster love and trust instead of hatred and resentment. Right now that theory is testing my patience to the limit.

"One..." I start and he doesn't budge.

"Two..." I try again in a firmer tone and he finally starts to comply.

And by the time I am about to force three to cross my lips, tears are running down his face but he's removing his jacket. I look at him with a heavy frown as he finally hands me the jacket and then turns and runs into the hallway and disappears. I push myself back up, head into the hallway hang up his jacket and then go back into his room. I take out something to sleep in and then head into my own bedroom and close the door so he can't escape.

He's slumped in the corner, softly crying but playing with his toys in silence; not looking at me. I allow myself a heavy sigh as I quickly undress and then I head over to him and sit down beside him. I take some of the action figures and start to play with them and he finally looks up at me with a sad glance; his eyes red.

"What do you have to say to daddy?"

"Sowry dadda," he moans sadly and I know he's learned his lesson and my mind is at peace once again.

"I love you Cameron. You know that right?" I ask and he gently nods his head. "Are you tired?"

He simply nods his head again and holds out his arms; allowing me to finally gather him into my embrace and carry him back to the bed. I quickly change him and then allow him to crawl into bed beside me. He's out in minutes but as it's kinda early, I'm not that tired and so lay awake with a small light on, catching up on some reading. I look down at my son and smile. His face is at peace, dark lashes resting on flushed cheeks, hair mussed up and his arm around my leg. It's not easy to stay mad at him for very long.

I allow my mind to wander to Stella and wonder what she's doing. I wonder if she's at home? It's Friday night and I can't assume she's just at home doing nothing. Maybe out with a friend? And while I want to believe Don when he said that she didn't go out on Friday nights unless it's with him or the Messer's, I once again think he said that to make me feel better. I wonder if she'd just be content staying in on Friday nights? But I remember my mother told me that Stella and I would need our adult alone time; it would be important for keeping the romance alive between us and that to have a weekly date night would be in order. I laughed at that at first as I know I'll never lose the romantic feelings I have for Stella inside. Even when I didn't see her these past four years, that chemical spark was still strong inside. But I know inside that I'll need alone time with her and that is something I will plan for.

I finally lose the mental battle and fall into the blissful realm of sleep. When I open my eyes next, the sun is already up and I look over to see Cameron on the floor playing with his toys and I can't help but smile. Watching him, my mind and heart are at peace. The one thing I envy about children is their ability to be able to bounce back from what might seem a monumental emotional hurdle; it's adults who have it backward I think. Cameron finally looks up at me and a large smile cracks his sweet face and my lips return an automatic response.

"Come and see daddy," I gently invite and he pushes himself up and is quick to run over to the bed and then jump onto my stomach, forcing a small gasp from my lips but as his warm laughter fills the closed room once again, my momentary pain is gone. For another spilt second, I envision Stella beside me and the three of us waking up and enjoying just lounging together in bed; nothing specific to rush off to. One of the things I know in my mind and heart that was the right decision was to tell my superior, that unless it was high profile like the major's office or something, my weekends belonged to me. So I know when I go and see Stella this afternoon, I won't have to worry about getting a call and having to dash off. I know of course she might not be able to extend me the same courtesy but it's a chance I'm willing to take.

I finally get a handle on my son and grab his flailing body and hold him close while I tickle his ribs.

"Stops daddeeee..." he wails as he tries to pull himself free of my strong grasp. I finally allow him to return the favor and soon the two of us are gently wrestling on the bed; forcing the covers to the floor. Cameron's attention span finally tugs him back to the toys allowing me to get the bed made and then take him with me for a shower.

"Cameron we are going to the park today to see Stella."

"Go to the park daddy..." he claps his hands as I slowly undress him.

"So you need to smell like the sweet little boy I know you are," I tell him and he wrinkles his nose as his face frowns and I just laugh. "And you are going to be on your best behavior right?"

He simply nods his head as he looks at me with a wondering glance and I can't fault him for not completely understanding everything I'm telling him. I lift him into the tub basin and laugh when he squeals with delight as the warm water starts to splash him on his tender skin. I hand him the child's soap and he once again looks up and starts to mimic what I am doing, rubbing the soap over his bare neck and chest, moving to his small arm pits and lower. He has already started to ask about certain body parts and while I was a little embarrassed at first, trying to explain what his small private parts are used for, I quickly swallowed my embarrassment when I realized that I wasn't telling him anything wrong.

He laughs again as I hold up his arms, keeping him trapped as the water stream starts to tickle his freshly cleaned sides.

"No daddeeee..." he laughs as he tries to pull himself free in vain. I finally let go and he tries to tickle me but at his height he only succeeds in poking my belly button; making me offer a soft smirk. We finally finish and then I head into his room, pull out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a sweater; remembering the advice from my mother that layers are the best for any outing that takes us outside, especially now that fall has arrived. After Cameron is dressed I head into my own bedroom to choose something for myself.

I have to laugh at myself as I dont have a large wardrobe by any means but today I am as nervous as hell. I give my head a shake as I choose black jeans and a regular sweater; knowing inside that no matter what I put on, Cameron will outshine me and I'll pale standing next to Stella's beauty. _Who looks at me anyways?_

After breakfast, I clean up a little better; knowing that when I come home tonight, cleaning will be the last thing on my mind. I never expect my mother to clean up after us; although she does more than she should, and so I am glad when she takes most of the weekend for herself.

"Can we to go the park?" Cameron asks as he wanders into my bedroom a little before we are about to head out.

"Go and get your jacket," I tell him with a smile.

"YAY!" He shouts as he turns and runs back into the hallway, rushing toward the small hook that is at his height. He grabs his jacket and I help with his runners. I have a small black travel bag that I take with me now; something a little more masculine than those floral ones, most women like to sport. Cameron runs down the hallway, already pressing the down button while I hurry to catch up. I bundle him into his booster seat and then head for the park, my heart already starting to beat faster in the anticipation that today Stella will be joining us. And while I try to convince my stupid brain not to get my hopes up, I am praying that at the end of today, she'll agree to just a date night with the two of us, next Friday.

I bring the SUV to a stop and get out, my eyes searching the parking lot for whatever vehicle might be housing the only woman I want to see right now. I gather my things before I get to work on setting my son loose.

"Cameron, wait beside me," I instruct as I fiddle with a few things.

"I think this got away on you," a female voice tells me from behind. However, I know it's not Stella so I turn around with a strained smile. "Here," the woman before me holds up a toy that has rolled out of the backseat.

"Thanks," I reply with a half smile, half frown.

"Do you two come here often?" She asks directly, her little girl, firmly holding her hand and trying to make friends with Cameron. "I'm Kelly by the way."

"Yes _we_ do. The three of us," I reply as I nod to the woman I see behind the one in front of me; the woman that with just a small glance, can set my heart racing; forcing all others to fade into the background. The woman turns to see Stella walking toward us, offers a polite smile and nod before she takes her leave. I don't even notice the other woman leave as Stella walks toward us with a warm smile. She's wearing jeans and a dark green top, both fitted and hugging the body that keeps my dreams company at night.

"She came," I whisper as Stella nears. "The day is complete already."

* * *

Waiting for Mac in the parking lot of the park was almost driving me to nervous distraction. The small board nail file I had been fiddling with finally snapped and I had to toss it away with a small curse. I finally see a small black Ford Escape SUV pull into the parking lot and Mac's face peers out from the driver's side window and my heart starts to skip a beat. I watch as he gets out and in a matter of minutes has naturally attracted the attention of another, obvious single mother, who is wanting something more from the handsome single father besides offering him a runaway toy.

I feel my natural jealousy starting to seize my brain as I quickly grab my tote and push myself out of the borrowed Avalanche and head toward them. However, when I see the expression Mac has offered to the strange woman trying to get his attention and then the smile he rewards me with, I feel I have nothing to worry about. But still, part of me wants to yell at the woman to get away from _my man_ and that she'll be the next crime scene if she even thinks of asking for his name or phone number.

However, I scold myself as I near them, a warm smile almost ear to ear. To say Mac is a handsome man is almost an understatement; the best part of course, is the fact that he doesn't even realize how attractive all of him really is. And somehow seeing such a strong attractive man, so kind and tender toward the beautiful little boy held firmly in his arms, makes him even more attractive to me; if that's even possible. He told me I looked beautiful and I am going to return the compliment when the time is right.

"Hi," Mac offers me with a warm smile. His body wants to lean into mine to give me a welcome hug, but with Cameron gently struggling in his arms, we never make that initial connection.

"Hi," I answer as I pull myself back a little, trying to bite back my initial disappointment at not being able to offer a small display of affection. "Hi Cameron."

"Cameron, remember Stella?" Mac softly asks and his sons face gently scrunches and I can't help but adore him even more. "Stella is a good friend of daddy's. Say hello."

Firstly when I hear Mac state that I am a good friend, I am at once sorrowed and honored by such status. But the fact that I might only remain as a friend, my sorrow wants to creep into my brain. But when Cameron offers a soft hello and I offer him one in return my happiness is back. Mac looks at me with a small frown and I instantly know what he's thinking about.

"Mac, I'm here for you remember. Lead the way," I instruct and his face finally relaxes. We make small talk about the commute as I walk beside Mac who has now put Cameron down and is holding his hand as we walk in the warm afternoon sun. I glance around at other families laughing and playing together; spending time being a family and I feel an odd sense of familial contentment starting to cover me as we near an area that isn't that populated but where there is lots of stuff for Cameron to play on; affording us the opportunity to talk and still enjoy the little child between us. Cameron is very much Mac Taylor's son. Shy and reserved at first but then when you get to know him, determined and energetic.

Mac directs us to a small table beside a climbing structure and takes off his jacket. After giving him a few instructions, I watch as Cameron charges toward a small ladder and then heads up to the platform. Mac turns to me with an uncomfortable stare and I almost feel my core temperature starting to rise as the silence builds.

"I'm glad you came today," Mac tells me warmly and I finally see his face crack a warm smile.

I reach out and give his hand a squeeze. "I have been looking forward to this day since you called me Wednesday night." Mac lets out a small laugh and I know he doesnt believe me right away. "You will believe me, I just hope its sooner rather than la..."

"I'm sorry Stella," Mac offers in haste, looking at me with a tormented gaze in his warm blue eyes. "Almost a bit too good to be true."

"What is?"

"You, here today...with us."

"Well I see that if I'm not going to be here, I could be replaced very easily," I nod to the other single parent who offers us one more look before she leaves the park, hopefully for good.

"It's only you Stella," Mac replies in a low tone, his body leaning in a little closer to mine. "You could never be replaced. You never have."

"I'm glad to hear it handsome. You smell good Mac," I whisper as I lean in to his body, my lips gently touching his soft ear lobe. When I pull back, I notice his face has gently flushed and take some unspoken delight that my attention worked. We quickly pull back as Cameron comes rushing up to us, tugging on his father's arm. But I can't be jealous of the beautiful little boy trying to get his father's attention; as he's starting to take a firm hold on my heart.

"Daddy, legs go on slide," Cameron urges.

"Let's go," Mac corrects and Cameron just smirks; another trademark expression he learned from his father. Mac turns to me with a slight frown, perhaps wondering if am now bothered by this attention detour.

"Stella I..."

"Cameron wants to go on the slide Mac, don't keep him waiting."

Cameron looks up at me with a smile before he looks back at Mac with a gentle frown. Mac pushes himself away from the table, picks up Cameron who is now laughing at his father's actions. Watching Mac playing with Cameron, talking to him in such a soft tone and then hearing the two of them laughing, his face lighting up as he puts Cameron on the top of the play structure and then looks back at me.

It's like he's a different person from the one I thought I knew. I had heard that when a person, especially a man becomes a parent, their personalities can change. And while I know Mac is probably still his hard nosed, bad ass self at work; an assured leader and skilled Detective; right now, around me, he's a different man altogether. Soft, kind, tender and loving. Characteristics I always knew he was capable of, but never thought I'd be privileged enough to see in person. I have only heard Mac laugh, and I mean really laugh on few rare occasions, but as I listen to his warm laughter fill the afternoon sky, keeping time with his sons, my heart swells with even more affection that I thought possible at this moment.

I leave my bag beside Mac's and then head over to the structure to be with them. Mac looks up at me in surprise when he can't reach over to the other side, my side, and Cameron allows me to help him back up.

"He has no fear," Mac huffs.

"He has his father's determination," I correctly note as Cameron grasps the small rope ladder and starts to climb.

"Sometimes to a fault," Mac gently smirks, echoing the words that I myself have used in relation to him in the past. I have to laugh as Cameron makes a funny face at something he doesnt like and then looks at me with a mischievous smile before he tries something new.

Mac and I once again head back to the small table and sit back down; our eyes always on the active child, once again trying something that I can tell makes his father a bit nervous.

"I keep wondering if he's going to fall and break his arm," Mac states with a huff as he looks at Cameron with a frown.

"Well I'm sure just like his father, he'll probably just pick himself up, dust himself off and keep going."

"That's what worries me most," Mac adds with a small chuckle.

"I missed hearing you laugh," I offer in a soft whisper and Mac looks at me in surprise. "Just nice to hear."

"Cameron always ensures that I'm in a good mood, well for the most part."

"Does he ever get into trouble?"

"He only looks cute," Mac smirks.

"Did you know that Mac is Cam backward...so why not call him Cam?"

"Cam," Mac says slowly. "You are the only one to tell me that," he smirks. "Well it's because my name is abbreviated and at least one of us should be called by his proper name," Mac smiles and I just shake my head.

"Ever call him Cam?"

"When I'm tired and grumpy," Mac admits.

"Bad combo," I tease. "Especially for you."

"Cam," Mac mumbles and I can't help but laugh. "How was your week?"

"Crazy. Both Danny and Lindsay said to say hello."

"They did huh. How are they?"

"They miss you," I confess in truth. "Mac, I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty at all. They just wanted me to say hello."

"How is Lucy? I guess I have been a pretty lousy Godfather," he sighs heavily, looking away, his eyes fixed on his active son.

"They wanted to know if the three of us wanted to have dinner with them in a few weeks," I state firmly and Mac looks back at me in surprise.

"What?"

"I just wanted to tell you."

"Stella..."

"Mac, they know that Cameron is about the same age as Lucy and thought it would be a nice..."

"I can't," Mac answers in haste. "Stella, after I was there...holding that little girl and telling them that I would..." he starts and I squeeze his hand once again and he stops. "I just can't."

"Mac, they want you to be a part of their lives once again. You know you will not walk in there and be forced onto a mock witness stand and pressured to relive your past mistakes. You need to let go of that. They aren't going to bombard you with questions and you don't have to answer to anyone for anything. It's done."

"Stella..." he tries again.

"Mac, they want to be a part of your life again and they want Lucy to know her Godfather and his beautiful son."

Mac looks at me and offers a small swallow as Cameron comes rushing back to us. Mac scoops him up and places him on his knee between us. I look at the flushed face of the small boy and can't help but feel my affection for him continue to grow.

"Cameron needs a short time out."

"Go back and play daddy..." Cameron frowns as he tries to get free. But Mac's strong arm keeps him in place and I have to stifle a small laugh when Cameron looks up at his father with a frown.

"Do you want a snack?"

"Yay!" Cameron offers with joy as Mac reaches for his bag. "My mother told me it's always good to keep children well fed. And I..." Mac stops as he feels my hand touching his once again and looks up at me in wonder.

"This one is on me," I state firmly as I reach into my bag and pull out a few items. I quickly pull off the plastic for the cheese and cracker bites and hand them to Cameron who takes them with glee. I then open a small chocolate granola bar and place it on the table on a small napkin; Mac looking at me in shock. "Stella?"

"I have one for you also so don't worry," I tease as I hand Mac another bar and he slowly shakes his head.

"Once again you have me guessing," he states with a smile as he looks at his son, who is now fully ensconced in the tasty treat that is now all over his mouth and hands. He looks back up at me with a smile that I think will live on inside my mind long after I have closed my eyes tonight. It's a look of love and wonder; of expectation and gratitude.

XXXXXXXX

I gently wipe Cameron's face; my brain still trying to compute the amazing gesture that Stella has offered us just now. I look at her and can't help but feel my love for her inside start to swell once more. I know it seems stupid, maybe because it is such a small gesture, but it's something that shows that she really does want to get to know my son better and have him like her and warm up to her.

"And since Cameron is such a good boy..." Stella's voice trails off as she reaches into her bag and pulls out a small Thomas the Train toy and Cameron's smile has widened, if that's even possible. He looks up at me and I offer a small nod as he extends his hands and quickly grabs at the toy and clutches it to his chest.

"What do you say Cameron for the snacks and the toy?"

"Thank you Stella," he smiles as he leans forward in my grasp, wraps his arms around Stella's neck and plants a warm kiss on her cheek; forcing her beautiful face to light up in an instant.

"Flirt," I tease my son as Cameron quickly pulls back and goes about pulling the packaging on his toy apart. We watch as he hops off his my lap, hurries over the sand box area and starts to play.

"I got one for you too Mac," Stella smiles as she pulls out another action figure and hands it to me. "See a mini Mac," she smiles as I read the name and then have to lightly chuckle.

"Thank you," I whisper as I look down at the small piece of plastic in my hands. "Stella all this um...when did you..."

"Spent my Friday night shopping," she confesses and I look back up at her in shock.

"What?"

"Well you know I hate to go anywhere empty handed so I picked up a few items that both of you might like," she admits with a loving smile.

I look at her with a slight frown, my mind wanting to analyze her actions once more, but my heart thankfully winning out and ensuring that I just enjoy this amazing woman for as long as I have her with me today.

"I like it all, very much."

"Then my shopping trip was worth it. Very interesting going into that toy store. Things sure have changed since I remember them."

"Trust me I know," I sigh as I look over at Cameron who is now fully ensconced in his new toy. "Thank you Stella. I...I want you to like him and..."

"Mac, please just relax," she instructs. "I'm happy to be here."

"I'm happy you're here too. My mother says to say hello by the way," I tell Stella and now it's her turn to look at me in shock. "What?"

"You're mother?" She manages weakly. "I thought she hated me."

"Pardon? What ever gave you that idea?"

"Mac, she has every right to hate me for what I did. So if you are saying just saying that to be kind, it's okay."

"Stella, I'm not lying," I insist. However the weak smile she offers doesnt convince me that she believes I'm telling her the truth.

"I'm not saying you're lying Mac. However, I just find it a bit hard to believe after how much I hurt you."

"I hurt you also," I reply and we both offer the other a small smile. "Going in circles right?"

"Now you sound like me," she tells me and I smirk.

Cameron finally comes running back up to us and looks at the toy in my fingers and tries to snatch it.

"...want to see daddy," Cameron insists as he tries to grab the action figure from my grasp.

"This is daddy's. Does Cameron want to go for a walk?"

"No! want to see," he insists again and I look at Stella weakly.

"It's okay Mac, you do what you need to do."

I take her advice and turn back to my protesting son. "Cameron we talked about you being a good boy right?" I ask and he nods his head. "This is daddy's. It's a present from Stella and it's special for me. You have Thomas and are going to be happy with him. Now do you want to go for a walk?"

"Kay," he offers sadly and I just shake my head as I turn back to Stella. I once again watch with silent amazement as she packs everything up in her bag and then stands up beside me, Cameron's hand now tugging on mine.

"We usually walk down a small path to the lake, he likes to watch the ducks," I inform her and she smiles in return.

"Sounds great. I like your bag by the way. All Black. Very manly."

"My mother had bought this plaid one about a year ago and I nearly had a heart attack when I pulled it from the bag," I smirk and she lightly laughs. "I went out that afternoon and bought one I wouldn't be afraid to be seen in public with. It's become a little lighter now that he doesn't have to wear a training diaper or need stuff like that. So it mostly houses snacks and toys," I finish and she looks at me with a sideways grin. "What?"

"Just hearing you...like this...it's um..."

"Silly?"

"Heartwarming," she states softly and I look at her in surprise. "Has shown me another side of you...one I want to see more of."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

I want more than anything to grasp her hand in mine and give it a warm squeeze. However, I am not sure if it's too soon or what Cameron might do if he sees it, so once again tell myself that I'll have time and it'll have to wait. We reach the clearing where the lake is and I slowly direct us toward a free space near a grassy spot where Stella and I can just relax and watch Cameron chase the ducks. All along the way, she's asked about the park and the surrounding area and my nervous tension is really starting to ease; my mind at peace.

"Okay Cameron, remember no going near the water," I remind my son and he nods his head before turning and running away a few feet, scaring a group of ducks; his new Thomas toy carefully tucked under his arm. "He'll probably sleep with that toy," I tell her with a smile.

"I don't mind. Just make sure you wash off the duck poop," Stella tells me and I have to chuckle. I lead us to a small area, but don't see tree knot sticking out of the ground and find myself falling forward. Stella's arm shoots out to try to offer some help but instead I twist myself around and manage to bring her down on top of me. I hold her firmly against my rapidly beating chest; blue colliding with green once again and I have to offer a warm smile; her smell forcing my brain to conjure up heated desires.

"Sorry," Stella whispers as her fingers gently brush my cheek; forcing that side of my face to instantly flush; our lips inches apart. However, our would be kiss is broken by Cameron's actions.

"Daddeeee," Cameron calls out as he rushes up to us. But without moving Stella off me, I wrap my arm around my son when he kneels down to see what has happened and I bring him close. With Stella still on my chest, we both start to tickle Cameron and soon his warm laughter is filling both our heads; pushing to the back, naughty intentions where they belong.

Cameron finally gets himself free and then runs back to a small gathering of ducks that had found some relief from the pestering child.

I look up into Stella's eyes and smile. But as much as I don't want her to get off me; I know we are in a public place and so have to yield to the laws of public decency.

"Sorry," I softly whisper with a soft smile.

"Are you?" Stella gently teases and my face finally flushes.

"Not completely," I admit in truth as we both push ourselves up and then turn to watch Cameron who is now a few feet from us, playing with his new toy and some sand.

"Me either," she whispers in return. "He's a delightful child Mac."

"He's helped me more than he'll ever know," I tell her with a heavy sigh. "I wish you could have known him right from the start."

"I'm here now Mac, I'll have the rest of his life, if that's okay with you."

"Okay?" I query with raised brows and then offer a slight smile. "Sounds pretty great."

"So um...what do you normally do after the park?"

"Tired of us already?" I ask in haste.

Stella leans in closer and plants a warm kiss on my cheek before whispering in my ear once more. "I don't want today to end."

I pull back and look at her in wonder and she simply nods; further cementing her words as truth instead of something she thinks I might want to hear. I hadn't planned past the park outing; telling myself that she'd be bored and just want to take her leave; running back to adult civilization as fast as she can. But I'm wrong once again and my heart thankfully forces my brain to act in the most logical way.

"Do you want to have dinner with us?"

XXXXXXXX

When Mac had asked me to go for dinner I was very surprised but couldn't accept fast enough. In truth I didn't want today to end. I have never enjoyed a Saturday as much as I am right now and I just fear I might never get it back. When he told me his mother said hello, I didn't believe him; part of me might never until I hear it right from her. How could she just accept me back after it was me who caused this whole mess in the first place? But as I answer Mac I push those sad thoughts aside for now; settling it in my mind that I'll pay Millie Taylor a visit to offer my own peace offering between the two of us and be honest in my intentions for the two most important men in her life.

"I'd love to have dinner with you two Mac. Where do you normally go?"

"Um Applebees?" He mentions sheepishly and I lightly laugh. "I know it's a family restaurant but they have a great kids menu and..."

"Mac, why are you justifying it to me? It sounds wonderful."

"They also have great dessert."

"Well that is the whole point of the meal right?" I offer with a warm smile and am finally rewarded when his handsome face offers me a smile in return. We hear Cameron calling to us once more and Mac quickly excuses himself and heads for his son; once again allowing me to observe the two of them in action. I am, however, quick to notice a few other women staring at the two of them laughing and playing together and my jealousy starts to swell. I have no real claim right now, but when Mac looks at me and then gestures for me to join them, I know inside my heart I have nothing to worry about from these onlookers, I am where I belong, at his side and I hope in his heart. A band of gold is a formality; one I hope I can rectify soon.

I quickly push myself up and head for them, bending down beside them as Cameron tries to grab one of the ducks that manages to evade the hands of the persistent child.

"He has named them all and now wants to take one home," Mac tells me and Cameron looks at us both with a serious expression.

"Take one home daddy...for gamma..."

"Yeah just what GRamma needs, a pet duck," Mac smirks. How he corrects his son is another small amazing snippet into Mac's single parent brain. He'll emphasize the correct letters in the word without making Cameron feel like he did something wrong. And sure enough after the third or fourth correction he finally gets it.

"Gramma ...ould like this one."

"Gramma WOuld like that one," Mac counters and Cameron looks at us in confusion before he shrugs and then chases after the one Mac pointed out. "He forgets sometimes."

"How is it you don't want to just spend the day squeezing him? He's such a doll," I comment and Mac's lips curl into a warm smile.

"Oh trust me, he gets his fair share. But dont kid yourself, he's also a handful. Tests my patience at times but he's forced me to keep my temper in check. Even at work."

"Yeah Don told me."

"And what else did he tell you?" Mac gently queries.

"Oh I can't tell you that; it's my leverage," I wink and he slightly blushes.

"I see. And um when do you planning on using that leverage?" Mac wonders.

"When I want to get something that you won't give me," I tell him as I lean in closer, my face nearing his once more. We both stand up, now inches apart, heating emanating from our bodies.

"You would never need leverage Stella," Mac assures me in a warm voice. "I'd happily give you whatever you want."

"Good to hear," I answer as Cameron runs back up to us and squirms between us, begging to be picked up. Mac's strong arms once again pick up his son and holds him close between us.

"Did you like the ducks Cameron?" I ask and he looks at me with a big smile.

"I want the geen one..." he answers as he looks at Mac in expectation.

"Sorry that GReen one lives here," Mac tells his son, who only returns a sad face. "Would you like it if you took him away from his family," Mac finishes with a weak tone, looking at me in torment.

"But he'll be here the next time you come."

"Can we come again daddy?" Cameron queries.

"Yes we can come again Cameron," Mac replies and I watch with a warm smile as Cameron wraps his arms around his father's neck and plants a warm kiss on his cheek.

"Love you daddy," he whispers and my own throat produces a small lump.

"I love you too Cameron," Mac whispers in return and my sorrow starts to grow.

Cameron squirms out of Mac's grasp once more and then Mac takes his hand and leads the three of us back to the table. Another thing that amazes me is how Mac is able to play such a firm role in his son's life; showing who's the parent without being overbearing or harsh and yet showing me a tender and vulnerable side when it comes to love and long term commitment. _How can I not fall more and more in love with Mac? I want him!_

We reach the table and Mac looks at Cameron once again. "Do you want to play here or walk some more?"

"Daddy sings..." Cameron states with enthusiasm.

"You sing to him?"

"Not here," Mac chuckles as he looks back at his son. "We'll go to the SWings right now."

"Ah," I finally clue in as I quickly pack up the snacks and such and then the three of us start down another trail. Mac keeps a firm grasp on his son's hand, ensuring he stays close, only talks to other children and is not allowed around single men or people without kids.

As we walk to the other part of the park, I can't help but start to feel choked by the silence that Mac is once again forcing me to endure. What is he still afraid of? He finally releases the firm grasp on his son's hand and we both watch as Cameron rushes for the swings, climbs on and starts to sway back and forth.

"You can talk about him; your son," I tell Mac as I touch his arm and force his eyes to lock with mine. "I _want _to hear about him. I want to know him."

"Stella, you should _already know_ everything about him," Mac replies in a strained tone. "The fact that you don't is just further proof of my..."

"Please don't keep doing this to yourself Mac. Stop thinking that everything you find some enjoyment in, I am going to hold against you because I wasn't a part of it from the start," I pause as I gently touch his face and move in a little closer. "I want us to have that strong bond we had before when we could talk about anything. Yes it's true we are different now, but I want to know Cameron and I can only do that if you'll let me. Please?"

"Stella..."

"I'm here now Mac. Talk to me."

XXXXXXXX

Looking into her eyes as she practically begs for some insight into my mind and heart was almost too painful to bear. My heart racing now as I try to formulate useful information. "He um...he likes snakes and Disney stuff and...damn it Stella, I can't do this."

She looks away and I know she's hiding her pain; pain that I have once again caused. I hear her take a deep swallow and my hand gently reaches out and rests upon hers, forcing her glistening eyes to look back at me with misery.

"I just don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Mac, I regret so much also. Do you think it's easy for me to sit here and watch him with you and know that I'll um...never have...well maybe not but..." her voice trails off as she once again offers a fake smile and at once my heart is agony.

"Stella please don't, this is hard enough as it is."

"Okay. Please Mac just talk to me."

"I don't know where to start."

"Mac, I don't expect everything all at once," she informs me. "You said he likes snakes. Interesting. Why?"

I look at her and take a deep breath. "Interesting? Not creepy?"

"You know I like snakes Mac. And very little creeps me out."

"Right. Well my mom had brought over this old Robin Hood video and for some reason he really liked the cartoon snake and then after that he was obsessed," I gently laugh as I look over at my son who has now fixed his attention on something on the ground. "Cameron don't pick that up," I instruct with a small frown as he looks up in wonder. "Do not pick that up. Whatever it is..." my voice trails off as I look over at Stella with a sheepish glance. "Growing up I only had one choice of toys..."

"GI Joe?"

"And while he does have some Joe stuff, I told my mother he would make up his own mind as to what he wanted to be when he grows up. Every time we go to the zoo he always pulls me in the directions of the snakes. His favorite color is blue and he always sleeps with a teddy bear named Zoom."

"Zoom?"

"Don't ask," I smirk as Cameron runs back up to us and starts to tug on my arm. "He likes Curious George, the movie Cars and Transformers."

"Daddy sing me...sing me..." he urges impatiently.

"SWing you?" I correct and he nods his head. He looks over at Stella and looks back at him with a large smile.

"I think I'll join you Cameron," Stella states and he claps his hands with joy before he turns and runs back to the swings. Stella says nothing more as we both push ourselves back up and walk over to the swings. I head behind Cameron and start to gently push him as I watch Stella get on one of them and start swaying back and forth.

"Race me!" Cameron shouts to Stella.

"Okay."

I just shake my head but have no choice but to be compliant in this game. I continue to push Cameron and smile as I see Stella pulling her strength so that he starts to go higher.

"Faster daddeeee..." he shouts into the air once more as he gets higher. I offer a few more powerful pushes before I slowly move myself behind Stella and offer her a push. My ears fill with delight as her laughter starts to rival my sons; a few minutes later, my sorrow and anguish from earlier is all but pushed aside. As she swings back, I wrap my arms around her waist, and pull her back against me. Her face is flush and I can feel her heart racing as fast as mine. But when I see the zeal in her eyes, I could do little else besides lean in and plant a warm kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you," I whisper warmly as I finally let her go, my lips still curled into a loving smile as she looks back with her own look of love. Stella offers nothing in return, but her smile and the look in her eyes tell my heart all that it really needs to know.

"Daddy sing with us..." Cameron pleads. I head over to the other side of him and slowly ease myself into a swing. I look over at Stella who lightly laughs.

"I think I might tip this thing over," I state as Cameron laughs.

"Race me daddy..." he begs as he starts to pump himself faster. But when he sees he's not getting anywhere he looks over at Stella. "Mummy sing me..."

"What?" Stella asks in shock.

"Mummy!" Cameron shouts with laughter once again. "Mummy sing me!"

"Mac? Why would he think that I...that I am his..." her voice dies out to a dead whisper.

I hear his words and look over at Stella in shock, her eyes instantly threatening with tears; a lump forming in my throat. Now what do I do?

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry I haven't updated this in a bit RL and the muse have been arguing!

What will Stella do? Will Mac confess further details? Will their dinner still happen? Lots more to come. Sorry no action or peril in this story so feedback lets me know how I'm progressing. Thanks so much in advance!


	7. The First of Many

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 7 - The First of Many**

* * *

I look at Stella in misery. _Oh god what do I do now?_ I could lie but lies led to heart ache and I can't take any more. _He's at that age. He sees a woman with daddy and assume it's his mummy? _What do I tell Cameron? What happens at the end of today when Cameron and I go home without Stella? Oh what the hell have I done? Maybe this wasn't a good ideal.

Thankfully, she doesn't make a fuss, but as her eyes lock with mine again; begging for an explanation as to why he'd even assume that, I know another painful truth will have to come to bear and I fear that once she hears the truth, another wedge will develop.

Stella starts to push Cameron but I turn my eyes away, unable to look at her, my heart about to give way. I hear my son saying something but all my brain is concentrating on is hearing my confession to Stella that I had to choose someone that looked like her for my one night mistake and she went with whoever was available.

A few minutes later, Cameron's laughter has still done little to force my mood to lift, I feel Stella's arms gently pull me back, stopping my actions. I look at her in silent torment, her eyes wet and she only offers a nod as she turns to head back to the table.

"Stella wait," I call to her as I push myself off the swing and hurry after her. I quickly turn her around to see fresh tears in her eyes and my heart shatters. "Damn it I'm sorry."

"Anna...she um..." she starts weakly.

"Kinda looks like you," I admit in misery.

"I see," she states as she turns and slumps down at the table. "So that's why..."

"When he saw you on Saturday and now..." I start as she looks away. My hand grips hers once more, forcing her glistening green eyes back and my heart shatters.

"I see."

"Stella, please," I start in misery. "Please don't..."

"You picked one that looked like me and...I..." her voice cracks as she picks the words right from my brain and feeds them to my heart. "I went with whoever was there."

"I was drunk and..."

"So was I," she insists.

"Stella I'm sorry I...look I didn't go seek her out, she was...she was just there. Stella please," I beg in misery. I watch her once again paste on a fake smile and now wonder if tonight will be the happy outing I had pictured it before I asked. I can never tell her now that I waited until one came that looked like her; it would kill her and that would kill me.

"Mac, I'm jealous," Stella whispers as she looks away in sorrow. "It should have been you with me that night," she offers in an almost inaudible tone and I am at once heart sick with grief. She turns back, quickly brushes away her tears and swallows hard. "I'm jealous Mac of the precious gift she gave you. The one thing that will always bind the two of together. The one thing I'll never have."

"Stella, don't talk like that. I don't want her," I insist as I take her hand and give it a warm squeeze, my mind in torment as I feel her hand has now cooled to my touch. "I wish Cameron hadn't said that but I knew it would come up and...and I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" She asks again.

"Because the pain you have right now is because of me," I lightly lament as Cameron runs back up to us. "If you don't want to come tonight, I'll understand."

"Mac..."

"Stella, it's okay," I tell her with a tight smile. I pick Cameron up and place him on my knees and offer a heavy sigh. He looks at me with a slight frown and I just offer a weak grin in return. I can feel Stella's eyes burning into my soul, but I can't look at her right now. I hurt her more than I'll ever know what that confession.

"Mu..." Cameron starts and I quickly cut him off. I know he was going to call her mummy and I need to stop this right now before I cause anymore pain to either of them.

"Did you thank _Stella_," I emphasize her name to my son, "for pushing you on the swings."

I want more than anything for Cameron to want to call her mummy but I'm not sure that's what she wants right now. But I also don't want him not to call her mummy as if the time comes in the future and she does want that, then I'll have more explaining to do. Damn I hate my life sometimes. So right now I'll just call Stella Stella and pray that Cameron follows suit.

"So thank Stella," I emphasize again. "Stella."

"Thank you Stella," Cameron answers with a slight frown.

"That's right _Stella_," I try to drill into my son's head; wanting to add not your mother but not wanting to make a scene. He gently shrugs and Stella just smiles in return.

"Cameron time to go home?" I ask sadly, trying to swallow the lump in my throat that has now grown bigger.

"Mac..."

"Stella, it's okay. It's late for him and he should have a nap," I offer in haste. Stella looks at me in torment but only nods her head in agreement and the once bright future I thought we had a chance at was now rapidly dimming before my eyes.

"...ant to go to applebee's..." Cameron insists with a confused expression and my plan of self defeat is quickly foiled.

"Well it's pretty late and..."

"Please Mac, I'm hungry too."

I look at her and want to believe she's telling the truth. "But..."

"Only if you want me to come."

"But I thought..."

"I want to come."

"Even now?"

"Even now."

"Cameron do you want Stella to come with us for supper at Applebees?"

"YES!" Cameron shouts loudly and I have to offer a smile at his innocent enthusiasm. _Oh Cameron,_ I lament inside, _I pray you never screw up your life as badly as I have mine._ And while I know tonight she'll now pity me and come along because we had already agreed to it, my plans for asking her out on a date next Friday seem out of reach.

"Stella?"

"Mac, I'm fine," she answers and I know she's not telling me the complete truth.

"Right."

"I know you don't believe me right now, but I will get passed this," she whispers softly as I put Cameron back down and we start to head back to our waiting vehicles.

XXXXXXXX

Walking in silence is almost as tormenting as first hearing Cameron calling me mummy and then Mac's tormented confession. Part of me wished that Mac had lied and told me that Cameron just associated anyone that was kind to him as his mother; but just like me, Mac has learned the hard way the misery of lying and so offered me the truth; knowing before he did that it would be painful for me to hear. I remember with such clarity the look of anguish on his handsome face that my brain actually hurts to turn and look at him and so I keep my silent gaze fixed on the path ahead, my eyes wanting to water with each step I take.

"Please don't hate me," Mac whispers in torment and I close my eyes in misery as they flood with tears.

"That would be impossible Mac." Without asking for permission, I push my fingers into his free hand and my heart actually skips a beat when his fingers curl around mine automatically and hold on tightly. I stifle a small sniffle, not lost on the man beside me.

"Stella I'm sorry," Mac mentions in sorrow as he stops walking and offers me the first real display of outward emotion as he pulls me into his embrace, wraps both arms around me and holds me close; allowing my trembling body to rest on his, my tears unable to be held back. "I'm so sorry."

Cameron's arms wrap around both our legs as he holds on tightly and looks up in wonder. "Daddy?"

"Stella please don't cry," Mac whispers in my ear, his breath sending warm shivers down my tormented frame. "Please forgive my ignorance; I never wanted to hurt you, but I didn't want to lie."

"I wouldn't have wanted a lie Mac," I offer in quiet sorrow as I gently pull back and look into his watery blue eyes; searching for anything to hold onto; his gentle fingers brushing away a few last tears. "Just hurts to know...I brought this about. That's what hurts so much."

"You didn't. I..."

"Daddy?" Cameron asks softly and I look down at the little boy in misery. "...hat's ...rong Stella?" Cameron asks again and I look at Mac in sorrow.

"Everything's okay Cameron," Mac assures his wondering son.

"I didn't mean to ruin your outing."

"Stella, you and I haven't seen each other for four years. I would like to think that maybe we should take a few hours and just lay it all on the table but..." he pauses, looking down at his son with a soft smile as he shifts from foot to foot and then looks back up at me with a heavy frown. "I wish I could forget everything but I can't and I'm sorry."

"I think we are both sorry."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll never talk about her again."

"Mac, please don't. She is still a part; even a small one, of your life and I'll have to just live with that."

"A name Stella, all she is is a name to me."

"She's the mo..." I start and then stop, looking down at Cameron who is now tugging on his father's jacket. Mac picks him up and he looks at me with a sad face.

"Why are you sad?" He asks softly.

I gently touch his flushed cheek and smile. "Sometimes grown ups discuss sad things but it's not about you. You are a good boy," I tell him and he smiles and looks at his father who simply nods in agreement. As much as I know I'll go home after this day has come to a regrettable close and think about the impact of Mac sleeping with a woman that looked like me; at this moment, I am actually glad that we got passed another hurdle and I think I'll finally be able to concentrate on the dinner ahead.

"Can I ride with you?" I ask Mac and he looks at me in surprise. "If you don't want to I'll und..."

"You still want to come?"

"I know your insecurity about my feelings for you will pass and..."

"Stella, it's hard to tell you all the past details without feeling guilty for causing you more pain. My jealousy also caused this. And yes in the back of my mind I still think that..." his voice trails off as he looks away.

"That I'll tire of the two of you and leave?"

"Something like that," he mumbles, not looking back at me. "How can I expect you to look at Cameron and not feel pity or anger toward me or..." Mac starts as I take his hand and give it a firm squeeze. "Or hatred toward me?"

"Because when I come to care for him as much as I care for you, nothing else will matter," I finish in a tone barely audible.

"Care?"

His blue eyes threaten fresh tears so I quickly offer a warm smile and I am rewarded with his face finally relaxing. "Time might not be able to heal all wounds but it sure can force us to see reality."

"Reality?"

"If I had stopped caring Mac, I would have moved on four years ago when you walked out the door and never looked back. I do care about you; both of you."

His smile widens and I know I have said the right thing and my heart rate starts to slow. "I'm hungry."

"Me too," he confesses. "Cameron, are you hungry?"

"YES!"

I look at Mac and am glad the tension for the most part has left. I know that neither of us will get much sleep tonight; and given today's confessions, I am not surprised or worried. But I also know that tomorrow when I am away from the two of them with no work and only my thoughts to keep me company, I'll feel the silence once again, and that I fear.

"Did you still want to ride with us?" Mac asks, immediately pulling me from my sordid thoughts.

"I would, if that's okay."

"We'd like that."

I admire how the word '_we_' seems to roll of Mac's tongue with ease as he refers to himself and his son. We reach the black Ford Escape and when Mac opens the passenger door to let me in I have to stifle a small laugh.

"Too small?"

"Just not used to seeing it so used," I comment and he frowns as he tries to toss aside some of the toys, Cameron watching him with vested interest.

"It's not that bad....just haven't had time to..."

"Mac," my voice stops and he looks up with a flushed face. "You're a parent now. It's expected."

"Right," he replies with a sheepish smile as he grabs Cameron who has tried to scamper into the front seat, in search of a toy that has caught his eye.

"Daddeee ...ally," he moans as he tries to struggle free. Mac quickly pulls out a small toy and shows it to his son.

"WAlly," Mac corrects and Cameron scrunches his face. "Say it properly."

"WAlleeeee," Cameron laughs and Mac just shakes his head.

"If he concentrates he can say his W's in addition to the whole alphabet," he explains as he straps him into his booster seat and then joins me in the front. "The location we go to is not that far away," Mac tells me as we slowly leave the park. In truth I am mentally and emotionally drained but I have no intention of telling that to Mac, as I just don't want this day to end. And despite the pain my heart still clings to at Mac's confession about Cameron's mother, my brain is trying to push that aside so that I can enjoy the rest of this outing. However, it will be hard to look at Cameron and not remember what led to his existence. I had said to Mac that in time it would fade, but I uttered those words in half truth, as right now I'm not sure it will. But for both their sakes, I tell myself I'll dwell on my own misery later and concentrate on the next part of this amazing adventure.

When Mac had suggested the family restaurant I was actually surprised. I have never seen Mac eat in anything other than Sullivan's or Cozy's or a diner beside his old apartment in Manhattan. But I guess when you are a man like Mac, your sons needs will always come before your own; so forgoing a place to watch a hockey game in favor of coloring set and a barney kids chair seems almost normal.

We reach the restaurant and as expected my nervous anxiety starts to build as we near the front door. Mac ushers Cameron ahead of us and then asks for a booth for three.

"Cameron is not a fan of the high chair so a small booster seat at a booth seems to work better."

"Little finger," I tease, referring to the appendage Mac is wrapped around when it comes to his son and he offers me his warm trademark smile and I can't help but smile back.

"So it would seem," he agrees. We slowly follow after the hostess and my eyes dart nervously around; taking in all the other happy families. My mind instantly displays myself as a child; always dreaming about going out for dinner with a real family always having been denied even something simple as this. I have never been into this kind of restaurant, myself also preferring a pub or diner but as we take our seats I feel myself starting to ease once again and am thankful.

The hostess brings a booster seat for Cameron along with a color page and some crayons and we both watch in fascination as he gets to work. I look around once more and then turn back to see Mac watching me with vested interest.

"Nervous?"

"Actually a little. Never been to a place like this before," I admit in a sheepish tone.

"Oh sorry. It's just that..." Mac starts and I offer a small chuckle.

"The next time you say sorry for something that isn't your fault, you owe me five dollars."

"Five? Kinda steep. How about one?" He counters with a slight smirk.

"No way. This way I'll take all your money and then you'll have no choice but to listen to reason."

XXXXXXXX

Saying sorry to Stella was something of a reflex action, my stupid brain wanting to ensure that she's happy every second; wanting to make up for the painful confession that I forced her to listen to earlier; having to watch her cry because of me. But her playful comment about the money, finally force my lips to offer a laugh instead of a self deprecating word and I feel my tension starting to ease.

"Well to be honest, it was only a few months ago that I started to come here after our park visits. My mother suggested it. Said it would be a nice treat if Cameron was a good boy."

"I was good daddy," he insists, looking up at me with a frown.

"Stop frowning," I tease as I rub his forehead.

"Wonder where he gets that from?" Stella shoots back.

"He's not supposed to copy the bad stuff," I insist and she smiles. When we first walked in, I could feel Stella's tension and watched her body stiffen and I wondered how she'd fare being in such a family orientated atmosphere. But as the minutes passed and we started to talk about what was on the menu, I finally notice her starting to relax and am happy once again.

"So what does Cameron love to eat here?"

"Sheese burger," Cameron smiles.

"CHeese burger," I correct and Cameron nods his head.

"My mother makes pretty good grilled cheese for him at home so I get him to order what I can't make that well."

"Makes sense," Stella agrees as she looks down at her menu.

I do the same and then look up to catch her glance at me and look back down, offering me a shy smile and making me feel like a teenager on his first date, rather than a single father trying to rekindle a friendship and and grow romance with his best friend.

"And what does Mac love to eat here?"

"Ribs," I offer in haste. "Something I won't even attempt to make at home. Thankfully Cameron knows if he complains about my cooking he gets nothing so he's pretty good at eating what I make for him. I try to hold back on the steak and such as it's a bit tough for his tender insides to...what?" I stop and ask as I notice Stella looking at me in wonder.

"Just love hearing you talk about him. Nothing more...just that."

"Well in any event I can't cook well so. Yeah we eat a lot of frozen dinners when gramma isn't making us supper, right Cameron?"

"Hungry man," he mentions and Stella looks at me and laughs; forcing me to just offer a shrug in return. I notice the young waiter walking toward us and it's finally time to concentrate on something other than my sad parenting skills. However, Stella, even in the few hours that we have been together today, makes me seem like I am some kind of super dad and that I can do just about anything and my son will turn out normal and well adjusted. _I need her in my life; both of us do. How do I keep this up and not scare her away in the long run_?

"Good evening Sir," the young waiter greets us with a wide smile. "So what can I get your _family _to drink to start off?"

I hear the word _family_ and immediately think that Stella will once again be forced into another sad moment, but am happy when she looks at Cameron and then asks what he wants. Much to my added delight and surprise, he actually answers.

"Apple zuice," he answers with a wide smile.

"Apple juice it is," the young waiter replies and Cameron looks back down at his coloring. "And for you?" He asks Stella and then me.

"And for dinner?"

We all tell him what we want and then settle back in to relax once again and wait. I watch Cameron push a crayon between Stella's fingers and then looks at her with a wide grin; a smile that no one on the planet seems to be able to resist.

"There is no immunity for that smile."

"The Taylor charm?" Stella counters and I have to offer my own soft laugh.

"Trust me, he got it from my mother," I stress and Stella rewards my carefully chosen words with a small grin.

"Who is this?" Stella asks.

"This is daddy and you and me and gamma. My famileee," Cameron mumbles and Stella looks at me in surprise. I stare at her with a blank expression, not knowing what to say or even how to qualify what words my innocent son just offered; adding another weapon to Stella's already well stocked arsenal for reasons to be up all night in thought.

"Your family?" She asks weakly.

"Yes," Cameron nods as he looks up at her. "My famileeeee."

"Stella I..." I start in haste; thinking I need to once again account for my son's innocent actions in case they have caused her any kind of emotional pain. But once again, her next words surprise me and I was wondering why I was so worked up in the first place?

"Cameron I love it. Can I take it home with me?" Stella asks Cameron as she squeezes my hand.

"Yes."

Cameron looks up and nods as our food finally arrives and I watch as Stella quickly puts the picture into her bag; perhaps thinking I was going to offer a protest. I had contemplated one for a split second but then wisely decided that if I want Stella to be a part of my broken family then she would have to come to terms with Cameron's innocent ramblings and misguided assumptions.

We all start into our dinner, both of us enjoying our meals and Stella smiling as I cut Cameron's burger in half and we watch him start to devour it like it was his last meal on this planet.

"He's got a good appetite," Stella comments.

"Also gets that from my mother," I smirk and Stella nods her head in agreement. "When Cameron came to live with me, I remember my mother sat me down for what seemed like forever and wouldn't let me leave until she had pounded into my head that I needed to have a well stocked fridge and keep my son properly nourished. So on the weekends, I make us all three meals, unless my mother is feeling generous or as of late, Don will come over with a pizza and we'll watch the game."

"And do you eat also?" Stella inquires.

"My weekly breakfast routine is pretty much the same as it was before..."

"Non existent?"

"Yes," I smirk. "My mom makes Cameron lunch during the week and sometimes supper but after being with him all day, I like to give her the break I know she needs so I make dinner. Thankfully he doesn't know what good food really is or I'll be in trouble."

"He looks pretty healthy Mac. You should be proud."

"I am."

We finish our meal, talking about the park and what else Cameron likes to do and about half hour later I look over and Cameron is struggling to stay awake.

"I guess you need to get him to bed," Stella softly notes as I sign the VISA slip for dinner.

"Yeah he's had a long day," I tell her in truth as I gather him up into my arms and we head out of the restaurant, the sun just set. I get us all bundled into the SUV and then head slowly back toward the park. With Cameron now asleep and neither Stella or I wanting to say anything in parting, the drive is done in silence.

"I had a really great time today Mac," Stella finally tells me as we near the Avalanche and while the SUV starts to slow but my heart rate starts to rise.

"I did too," I answer in a quiet tone. "I am sorry if Cameron made you feel uncomfortable earlier."

"Will he be okay later?"

"I hope so but...well never had this happen before and..."

"Mac..."

"Stella, it's okay. Hopefully he'll wake up tomorrow and be okay," I frown; knowing inside that the longer Stella and I are together one morning Cameron will wake up and expect her there.

"Will you be okay?" Stella asks.

"Stella, I hurt you. I mean I would like him to think of you as...but I don't want to rush you or force you into something that you might not want or I..."

"Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not angry or mad. I was happy to hear but it was also sad and...and I had a really good day."

"You sure?"

"Mac I had a great day! Get that through your thick head!" She retorts and I gently smirk as I bring the SUV to a stop and then look at her in expectation. Without saying a word, she slowly pushes herself out of the SUV so as not to awaken the sleeping child in the backseat; gesturing me with her head to follow, which of course I readily do. I slowly follow behind Stella toward the truck, wondering what the hell I do next. _Just ask her out already!_ My brain urges as she turns to face me.

"Mac, I hope you go home tonight and tell yourself you had a great time and there is nothing to worry about. But I know you and I have a feeling you'll be up all night picking apart all the uncomfortable moments wondering what you could have done to avoid them."

"Can you blame me? Stella, I'm sorry but it couldn't have been easy for you to hear that...well about Anna and then what Cameron said about family and...and I guess I feel like I am walking on eggshells and I hate that but there is nothing I can do about that."

Stella gently places her hand on my cheek and my hand instantly covers hers and holds it close to my face; the warmth starting to be felt all the way down my body. She leans in closer and looks at me with a warm smile.

"You owe me five dollars Mac," she whispers and I can't help but laugh. "I'm sure there will be more uncomfortable moments ahead but I am ready for them. Are you?"

"I want to be," I answer with a heavy sigh as I look at her with a slight frown. "I want this to work but I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. Or Cameron. Stella a time will come when our parting will...I'm rushing things right?"

"As long as you're here at my side to help me through I'll be fine. And as long as I am at your side to help you through you'll be fine; together we'll help Cameron through and all three of us will be fine. We will Mac and one day; one day we won't have to explain anything, as he'll already know and we won't have to part."

"Stella?"

"Just saying it Mac. Take that as it is right now. Maybe I'm rushing things to but it's what we both seem to want. Right?"

I look at her as admiration starts to grow and I can't help but pull her close and finally allow my brain to follow my heart. Both arms wrap around her and hold her close while my lips plant a hungry wam kiss on her tempting lips. However, as much as my brain wants my body to act on what it wants; Stella in an intimate way, I know that it's not the time or the place and so I regrettably pull back. "I do what that," I whisper warmly. "More and more each day."

"Wow," Stella whispers and I can't help but smile as her whispered praise. "Been waiting that for a long time Mac."

"I..." I start only to have her gently press a warm finger to my lips.

"Just felt so good. I hope I don't have to wait too long for the next one."

"You won't," I assure her with a gentle frown as I offer one last warm kiss and her lips curl into a smile that now matches my own.

"Thank you for today Stella. Part of me did it for Cameron but I think a bigger part did it for me. But I know another part of me wants to spend time with you; alone."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Tell you what, next Friday you allow me to take you out, just for you; all of you for an alone date with me. Would that be okay?"

I look at her in shock. _Did she just ask me out? On a date? An adult date?_ How on earth could I say no?

XXXXXXXX

"And not out of pity right?" Mac asks and I inwardly cringe. "After what I told you today?"

"Out of my desire to want to spend some alone time with you. You know when we were...well together...before as partners and such we always talked about spending some real alone time together but never did. I want that now and I'm not going to wait like we did before. But never out of pity. I don't pity you."

"I would love to," Mac replies with a warm smile. "I know my mother would be happy to baby-sit."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Just tell me where."

"Mac I can come..."

"Stella, New Jersey might have some nice parks, but trust me, the night life here is pretty weak. But it's your choice."

"Mac..."

"Tell you what. I'll come and pick you up say seven and then you can let me know."

I study the look on his handsome face and know there is no way I could ever say no to anything that he wants. "Sounds perfect," I whisper softly as my heart rate starts to increase. I know when we part right now, Friday will seem to take an eternity to reach me and those empty days without seeing Mac on some level will be pure torment.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," I answer as I lean in closer and plant a warm hungry kiss on his lips and then pull back. "You should get him home."

"I should," Mac agrees as he holds the door open for me to get inside. "Goodnight Stella."

"Night Mac."

I am rewarded with one final smile as I close the door and then watch as he slowly walks back to the dark SUV and gets inside. We both start up and head for the park entrance at the same time; Mac heads to the left and I to the right. However as soon as his taillights have disappeared I pull the truck over and place my arms over the steering wheel and then allow myself to expel all the emotions I have been holding inside for the past few hours.

_'...sing me mummy...Anna kinda looked like you...my family...'_

Those few words of Mac's and Cameron's continue to haunt my brain and I know I am in for a long night ahead. I finally feel my body heave it's last sob; wipe my eyes and then put the truck back into drive and slowly head for the tunnel and then for home. My brain relives each moment second by second, wanting to relive all the happy and the sad moments that filled the past few hours.

I love Mac, I know that in my heart but part of what he said was right. Every time I look at Cameron will I be able to just push aside the fact that he will always be a reminder of what Mac did; a reminder that while his mother might have looked like me, it's not me. He shares that bond with another woman.

"Damn it Stella!" I angrily curse myself as I near home. I want to love Cameron; in my heart I know I could. I just need to push past the anger, hatred and jealousy I have in my heart for a woman I hope I never have to lay eyes on. I let myself into my quiet apartment and lean against the door, closing my watery eyes and praying for my heart rate to slow.

I wish I could just delude myself into thinking that tomorrow I'll wake up, everything will be settled, that horrible night never happened and Mac and I are where we always were; side by side as partners with a bright future ahead of us.

But I am a realist and know that I'll be up all night and tomorrow I'll spend wondering what Mac is trying to convince himself of. I take the picture that Cameron drew for us and put it on the fridge, my eyes watering as I gaze at the small figure he drew of me; my family he had told me.

"Oh Mac..." I gently moan. "I miss you so much already. I miss you both. I wish I was waking up with both of you tomorrow."

I slowly walk toward my answering machine and notice two messages. I hope one is from Mac but as I press play my doubt grows.

_'Stella, sorry only me. Just wondering if you survived today. I don't expect a call tonight but I want to know how things went. Call me. Linds.'_

I offer her a weak smile; thankful that I have her in my life to call for support whenever needed. But as I press the second message and Mac's warm voice comes to life, my lips widen automatically.

_'Stella, it's me. Cameron and I both had a great time today and I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. Please text me when you get home. I am looking forward to Friday. Miss you so much. Goodnight Mac.'_

"Mac," I whisper as I reach for my blackberry and pull up a new message.

_'Mac, I had a great time today also; I hope the three of us can all do it again real soon. I hope you sleep well as I intend to. Talk to you soon and can't wait for Friday. Miss you already, Stella.'_

My slightly trembling fingers put down the blackberry but my mood is still up as I head into the bedroom to get ready to sleep. And while it's not late by any means; almost laughable that a single woman, with no family obligations would even be tired at this hour, I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and rest.

I push myself under the covers and sit up; pulling my knees to my chest and allowing my lungs a heavy exhale of air. I wish Mac was here; already my arms long to feel him in them, holding him close and never letting go. Having held him against me for even a few seconds today was simply amazing and I selfishly wish I didn't have to let go.

I look over at the clock and then reach for a magazine to try to get my brain to focus on anything other than my own personal misery but I just can't. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes; Mac's handsome face instantly filling the emotional void in my mind and heart.

I remember feeling a small pang of jealous insecurity whenever the other single mothers would look at him; like I just want to shout to them that he was mine and they better keep away. The look on Cameron's face when I offered him the toy will live on in my mental highlight real for months to come. Playing with the ducks, swinging altogether, coloring at the family restaurant; are other highlights I try to focus on to keep the sad confessions at bay.

However, as I remember how hard it was for Mac to talk about Cameron, I wonder if he'll get past that nervous anxiety and allow me to have a real in.

"Will I ever get that Mac? Will you ever allow me the privilege of caring for you both? As your wife and his mother?"

I finally heave my last sigh, dry my last tear and reach for the small bed side light and turn it off before pulling the covers over me; willing the darkness to take me into the realm of sleep. But as I suspected, sleep is something I won't find tonight; my mind and heart starting to wage an internal war over what was said and what was meant by what was said.

I finally allow my mind to dwell on the amazing kiss that Mac offered me; aside from the hug only hours earlier, the kiss was the most amazing display of emotion he has offered me to date and I pray his words are right; I won't have to wait too long for the next one. And with that happy thought finally pushing aside the sad ones, darkness starts to consume me.

"Goodnight Mac," I whisper as I have for the past four years, wondering if one day I'll something more than silence to answer me in return. "Goodnight Cameron."

* * *

"Goodnight Cameron," I whisper as I gently tuck my son under the covers and plant a warm kiss on his cheek.

"Nite daddeee..." his soft voice trails off. His eyes dont open and I'm thankful that he's asleep as this way he'll miss my emotional breakdown. I push myself up and slowly head into my bedroom to get undressed for the night and try to unwind. I got Stella's text but that did little to lift my mood to the place I wanted it.

I know my mother will give me my privacy and space tonight but in truth I need to unload some of the emotional burden that I am carrying right now inside my heart. I know my son offered those words in innocence, calling her mummy and then referring to his family during supper; but I can only fault myself now for the consequences that follow.

I want to believe that Friday is still going to happen but I think as Stella ponders everything that happened today, I'll get a call and that will be it. I hear my mother's voice scolding me for wanting to walk the negative path but what I said was true; every time she looks at Cameron, she'll be reminded of what I did with another woman; a woman I don't love at all but a woman who gave me one of the most beautiful gifts ever.

I slump down on the edge of my bed and run my fingers through my hair, offering a heavy sigh before curing myself for my stupidity once again. "What have I done?" I gently moan as I lay back on the bed and close my eyes. Stella's beautiful face comes to life in my mind once again and my heart longs to have her here with me; to hold her close and to feel her body offering mine much needed warmth. "Stella I miss you so much."

I have to believe she'll want to see me and continue to grow what I want for us; a real family with love and security for all three of us. So with that determined thought I finally push aside my mental sorrow; at least until I am ready for bed and under the covers. But as soon as I turn out the light I am once again bombarded with haunting images of Stella looking at both of us before she turns and walks out of our lives for good.

I offer a small groan as I turn onto my side, praying for sleep to overtake me. An hour later, my mind is still active as I ponder all the events of the day. Seeing Stella walking up to us in the parking lot, her bringing the snacks for us and the toy for me and Cameron, to the playing on the swings and then talking with the ducks. The time we had at the restaurant and then the kiss at the end before the promise of something better. And true to Stella's words, most of the night was spent dissecting every minute to see what I could learn for next time; hoping to not repeat anything to cause Stella more pain.

"Goodnight Stella," I finally whisper as my brain tires of thinking and I allow sleep to consume me. A few short hours later, I slowly open my weary eyes and glance over at the clock, the small action figure named Mac standing beside my watch and forcing a smile to play upon my tired lips.

"Morning Mac," I greet the small figure with a slight smirk as I start to finger the small piece of plastic. "I wonder if they make a Stella figure?" I mumble with a frown as I put the small toy back and then look up just as the sun starts to poke its head into my bedroom. I offer a tired grunt as I push myself out of bed and go in search of my son. I round the corner and peer inside to see him playing with his toys and a smile automatically forms.

"Morning," I greet him and he looks up at me with a loving smile.

"Hi daddy," Cameron greets me before he looks back down. I open the lock on the child gate and then slowly head into the kitchen just as there is a knock at the front door. Wishing it was Stella, but knowing it's my mother, I allow Cameron to rush to the door and pull it open, rushing into her waiting arms. Thankfully he didn't ask about Stella, so I am not going to push my luck.

"You're up early," she greets me with a concerned expression. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," I sigh as I head for the coffee maker. "But you knew I wouldn't right?"

"I hoped I was wrong. How did it go?"

"It had its moments," I reply with a frown as she touches my shoulder.

"McCanna, talk to me, what happened?"

"Do you think um..." I start as I turn to look at her in misery. "That every time she looks at Cameron she'll think of Anna and will ever be able to let go of her resentment?"

"Resentment? She doesn't resen..."

"She doesn't have to say it and I know she would never openly confess it to me, but.."

"When you told her, she was sad right?"

"Started to cry. Broke my heart."

"And she probably cried last night and got it out of her system and might spend today thinking about it but then it will pass."

"How do you know?"

"I'm a woman, I know," my mother assures me. "She doesn't hate you and she'll never hate Cameron or hold anything against either of you."

"Cameron called her mummy again," I huff as I look over my son who is now playing with something else. "And then at the restaurant he drew her a picture of his family and she was included."

"Stella is your family; Cameron is right."

"But..."

"McCanna, put the CSI aside," she starts and I look at her in wonder. "You are looking only at the DNA. And yes Stella will never share the same DNA as Cameron, not even one small link. However, that aside, she can love him just as much as she loves you."

"And if I start to spend more time with her and he will get to know that...be around her...I mean he'll associate her with his mother and if she's not...."

"I know you want to rush things, but the time will come; and probably not that far off, when Cameron will be able to call her mummy because she'll be here on a permanet basis."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm your mother, I'm always right," my mother chuckles as I just shake my head. "So besides pining for Stella today, what else are you going to do?"

"Pine," I smirk as I head into the kitchen to get my coffee. "But we do have a date next Friday."

"So you asked?"

"She beat me to it," I answer in haste. "And yes I said yes. I think we need some real alone time."

"More than you know. You know you can always invite her here. Just let me know and..."

"Not too soon?"

"Time helps us with a few things but trust me its not on our side for the most part so while we have time we have to make good use of it. It was just a suggestion."

"She thought you hated her," I inform her as I look past my mother to my son once again.

"Thought she might. What did you tell her?"

"I told her you didn't but I don't think she believed me," I state with a heavy sigh as my mother squeezes my shoulder.

"She will. Together we'll convince her."

I offer my mother a small smile and then watch as she heads over to Cameron, sits down beside him and starts to play; once again falling under his spell with just a smile. I head back into the kitchen to get breakfast started.

_I wonder what Stella is doing?_

* * *

"I know it must have hurt but you expected that right?" Lindsay asks me over the phone. "Stella?"

"Yeah I knew it would hurt, just didn't know how much until actually heard the words from Mac's mouth directly," I sigh as I sit by the window looking outside into the late Sunday morning sun. "I actually got some sleep last night but my mind was active. I had mentioned to Mac that he would probably spend the night up in mental analysis, but I did the same."

"Stella, you used to know what Mac was thinking with just a single glance because a few years back his life was routine and he was pretty easy to figure out."

"Right but..."

"You have a date Friday night though, so spend the rest of the day dwelling on that."

I have to smile at Lindsay's words of encouragement as she knows that is what I need to do in order to keep myself from being drown in the silence.

"Did you tell him about dinner?"

"He thinks he's failed you as Lucy's godfather and so thinks he can't show his face around you two. You know how Mac feels about personal failure. That part about him hasn't changed. So I wouldn't hold your breath for Mac actually making an appearance."

"Well something else to work on."

"Lots to work on," I agree. "But Cameron is such a doll and its funny how he's a mini Mac. He has the same frown, the same stubborn determination and the same quiet charm. Plus there were single mothers constantly looking at us."

"No wedding ring means fair game," Lindsay gently smirks but I just shake my head.

"Yeah comforting," I state in sarcasm. "I even had to shoo one away the moment I got there."

"Really?"

"A toy of Cameron's got away on him and she was quick to snatch it up and then ask Mac if he went to the park often."

"Stella, he's probably faced that since Cameron came on the scene. But he's still single for a reason," she reminds me pointedly.

"I know," I agree in a soft tone. "And yes I did survive the family restaurant," I explain as my eyes fix on the small picture that Cameron drew that is now on my fridge. "Even came home with a souvenir."

"Such as?"

"A picture that Cameron drew of his family that had me included."

"Really?"

"Earlier he called me mummy which led up to Mac's painful confession. Damn it Lindsay I wanted to just kill myself right there."

"You know you can't fault him right?"

"He's four. Of course I know that."

"I meant Mac."

"I know and he told me it was just a coincidence that she happened to look like me...but still...it just felt...wrong somehow. All of it was just wrong. And I know it will always be a constant reminder of what we both did."

"If you could, could you just walk away right now and not look back? Tell yourself that the pain is not worth it and go and live you life without Mac?" Lindsay asks pointedly.

"I love him Lindsay, in my heart I love Mac more than anything; I always have. And yes despite all the pain and heartache that we both forced the other to suffer I know that Mac is the only man I want to be with, no matter what. He is my life. I could never leave, no matter what."

"Then the reminders will fade."

I take some small comfort in her words. "I should let you go, thanks again for listening."

"Anytime you know that," Lindsay states and I can picture her smiling on the other end of the line. "We'll work on Mac. Think an arranged marriage between Cameron and Lucy would help?" She finishes with a laugh.

I finally hang up and then try to get the rest of my day started. I turn up some music to try to drown out the growing silence; the silence that is once again forcing me to ponder the consequences of my actions. I know that Mac probably spent today with his son, laughing and playing together and enjoying each other. I want that; in my heart I want that more than anything.

"I want to make this work Mac, I really do."

I go about finishing my tasks for the day and then when evening time finally rolls around I wish I was making dinner for three instead of one. I can picture Mac and Cameron in the kitchen; laughing and talking as he makes them his version of a gourmet meal and then both sitting down to eat what they have.

A small lump forms in my throat as I look at the two empty chairs across from me and then offer a small curse once again. When Mac was missing; well for the most part, I would just stare out the window, willing his figure to appear across the street, coming to see me and then the two of us making a go of it once again. I can't blame him for being cautious as I would be too if the situation were reversed. I just hope that he allows himself to listen more to his heart instead of his thick head.

With a small laugh I finally push myself up, put the dishes away and then head into the bathroom to get ready for the night. I wonder if what he said about his mother was true, I can't help but ponder.

"How could she not be mad at me? How can she not look at her grandson and not remember why he's there?"

I give my head another shake and then slowly head into my bedroom and finally push myself under the covers. My mind pictures Mac in bed beside me, smiling, happy and content. I also know that as honorable as Mac is, he'll also want to do what's in the best interest of his son when it comes to romantic propriety; so that means I won't be spending the night just for something to do.

That I can live with as long as it means we are building toward something long lasting and that when I do spend the night, I will be there the next night also. With that happy thought, I finally whisper goodnight to Mac and close my eyes and allow sleep to consume me. The next morning came too quickly and I found myself rushing into the office a few minutes behind schedule.

I had to brief Sinclair about a new case and was thankful that he didn't press for more details about Mac. However, I know that will change as Mac and I spend more and more time together. Lunch finally rolls around and my mind is once again distracted; but it's Mac's mother, not himself on my mind this time.

"I have to go and see her," I tell myself with a frown. "If I want this to work, I'll need her buy in right from the start." So with a determined mind and an anxious heart I push myself from my desk, grab my coat and purse and head for the elevator. The drive into Jersey is one of anxious tension. I am trying to picture what her reaction will be to my showing up unannounced but I want to talk to her without Mac there and I want to do it in person.

"I just hope Cameron is asleep," I slightly fret as I near their apartment; having gotten the address from Don, who I had to swear to secrecy for this outing. _Trust me Don, if Mac is mad, I'll handle it_, I had assured him when he finally caved in and gave me what I needed.

I reach their apartment and stop outside. It's a quieter area and I look around with a smile, picturing Mac and Cameron walking hand in hand to the corner store to get...well anything they need. With that pleasant picture in my head and a deep breath, I get out of the Avalanche and head inside. I hover before the door before offering a timid knock. I hear footsteps and then feel my heart start to race as the door slowly opens.

"Stella?" Millie Taylor greets me with a shocked expression.

* * *

**A/N**: I hope this chapter wasn't too long but I got started and couldn't stop! lol...Okay so how was the park outing? How do you think the meeting with Millie will go? I know it had a mix of angst and happy but that's the nature of the story right? Please review and let me know and thanks again!

**PS:** Target Specific updates tomorrow


	8. A much needed Confession & Midweek Surpr

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 8 - A much needed Confession & Midweek Surprises**

* * *

"Yeah I said that was fine," I reply with a slight shake of my head as I walk back toward my office. I had spent the rest of Sunday in reflection, finally going to bed that night that the image of Stella sleeping next to me to keep me company. I want to believe that she won't allow the obvious inner resentment toward Anna to stifle anything we are working toward; especially since Cameron was a direct result of Anna coming into my life, albeit briefly.

"So how did it go?" Flack queries as he pushes his way into my office about an hour later.

"It had its ups and downs."

"And?"

"It was nice."

"Damn it Mac, tell me what happened."

"Don, it's hard for me to sit here and tell you that it is so wonderful and amazing to have Stella back in my life when..."

"When you think you should be sparing my feelings?" Flack asks weakly and I just nod. "Thanks for that but I am okay with it. I'm happy for you and Stella is like a sister and I think you both need that happiness. When I left, yes it was hard but the happy times with Jessica came with me. I doubt you can tell me the same thing."

I look at him and offer a heavy sigh. "You're right. Dealing with all this is just so new. I mean there is my mother to think about and my son and you and...and yes it's hard. But we ended on a positive note with the promise for a date on Friday, just the two of us."

"I'm happy for you, really I am," Flack tells me firmly. "How did Cameron make out?"

"He's four, all this grown up angst just bounces right off him. But he called Stella mummy once and then drew a picture of his family that included her. I could tell it was hard on her and..." my voice trails off as I cast my gaze out the window.

"Mac?"

"I made her cry Don."

"Made her?" He counters and I turn back with a heavy frown.

"I told her that Anna looked like her and...I didn't tell her I waited for one that looked like...damn it why the hell did this all turn out like this!"

"You really want an answer?"

"No," I huff as I run a hand through my hair. "Just venting. But when I heard Cameron call her mummy I swear I wanted to die. But she seemed to move past it and then at the restaurant and..."

"She's strong Mac. She's had to be to keep going despite all this."

"I know," I tell him with a hint of admiration. "But with Cameron seeing her on only a sporadic basis and then...well calling her mummy and me insisting on him calling her Stella and...and it's going to get harder on him and that will get harder on me. I don't want to tell him not to call her mummy because I hope there will come a time when I will want him to call him mummy but...I want more. More for all three of us on a permanent basis. I want us to be a real family Don and I want it to be proper."

"What are you saying?"

"I want to marry her."

"I think you should have asked her long ago."

"I know," I sigh as I lean back in my chair. "I mean how do I keep pushing Cameron away from her, telling her not to call her mummy when I want that and then as time is allowed to pass, it'll just screw him up even more!" I finish with a firm shout. "Hate telling him that he can call her mummy but she can't see him on a daily basis?"

"He'll bounce back, you know that."

"He's so taken with her already and I...I love her Don, more than anything. I wish I was going home to her tonight; every night. I know it might hurt to hear me say that but I want us to be a family and I want it now."

"Then ask her."

"Too soon," I huff as I look up in exasperation.

"Are you sure?"

"No. I wanted to ask her the day she came back into my life."

"And I'll bet each night you go to bed and wake up alone you want more than anything for her to be with you, right?"

"Yes," I admit in a soft tone.

"You want that and you'll make it happen."

"I hope so," I state with a heavy sigh. "Have you um talked to Danny?"

"Yeah he told me about the dinner. He won't ask you about what happened Mac; you know that right? He's not going to interrogate you as we both know you are assuming. But you should go; you and Stella and Cameron. You need to have good friends like that; espeically with a kid Cam's age. They always had your back. You know that right?"

"I know. I...I'll think about it some more. First I need to survive our first adult date."

"Adult date?" Flack snickers. "Sounds clinical."

"Smart ass. Don't you have something to do?"

"Speaking of asses, it's time to drag yours back into the field. Got a new case, let's go."

I push myself out of my office chair and follow after Don. But instead of forcing my mind to concentrate on the case at hand, I can't help but wonder if I did ask Stella to be my wife, if she'd even say yes. _Too soon_, my brain warns and I know I'm rushing things. But when? I have known her for over ten years and...oh what the hell am I waiting for? I love her more than anything. _What if she doesn't say yes?_ Then my life would be over. _It ended when you left, now it's time to start living again! _I wonder what she's doing right now?

* * *

I follow Mac's mother into their apartment, my eyes darting around, trying to take in everything all at once. To my right is the hallway that leads to two bedrooms and the bathroom. I see Mac's bedroom and as suspected, it's perfect, neat and tidy as I'm sure has been drilled into his head from birth. The door to Cameron's room is closed and as hoped he's down for his afternoon nap. To my left is the kitchen, although tidy, the fridge is a messy menagerie of Cameron's artwork and some pictures of the three of them; another sight that both warms and breaks my heart at the same time. _i should be in those pictures! _The living room is a different story. Although painted in warm earth tones the rest is a scene out of a family magazine. Toys in one corner, children's books on a shelf by the couch, Disney DVD's near the modest home entertainment center, other offerings that suggest a regular family makes it's nest right here, instead of a single parent; a former marine.

"Do you want to sit down?" Millie gently entreats me.

"I won't stay too long Millie," I tell her in a shaky voice, my eyes already starting to threaten remorseful tears. I ease myself down a few feet from her, unable to look up until she gently touches my arm.

"You know you had called me at one time, but you could have called again."

"Didn't think I was welcome."

"What? Why?"

"Millie, I came to say sorry."

"What on earth for?" She asks me in surprise.

"I know you are being kind and I appreciate that, but I don't expect anything from you except..."

"Stella, are you under the impression that I am mad at you?"

"Thought you hated me for how much I hurt Mac," I tell her in truth, my eyes now slightly watering. "That's why I had to come so early in the game. I couldn't keep thinking you hated me without making things right so that there could at least be peace between us. And my own inner peace of mind."

"Hate you?" She asks in shock as she moves in a bit closer. "It's funny when Mac told me that I thought he just made it up."

"How could you not? It was my actions that led to this whole mess in the first place."

"You know when Mac first came home and finally told me all that happened, he blamed himself for pushing you in that direction; he never once put the guilt on you."

"He was being kind."

"I thought that at first also," Millie states softly as she takes my hand and offers a loving squeeze.

"I could have walked away that night."

"He said the same thing," she counters and I just frown. "You know when Claire died, I thought for sure any kind of future happiness for my son was lost; died with her on that terrible day in those towers. But as he started to tell me about this amazing woman that came into his life, I started to see hope once again. That woman was you."

"He told you about me then?"

"From your very first case to your first outing together at the dog show, to how you were able to convince him with only a few words to not wear a tie to work, to when you gave him his first kiss on the cheek to when he flew half way around the world to confess how he feels. All of it Stella. You know the first time he took his ring off and went to see that woman, gosh I don't remember her name but I remember he called me the next day and said he was ready to finally move on and seek love with one person."

"Please don't..." I start as a few tears have finally escaped my eyes and took refuge on my trembling hands.

"It was you Stella, it always has been. The only one since Claire...the only one he wanted to love again. That's why he left Peyton. He came back to you."

"But I hurt him."

"And he hurt you by leaving."

"I made him leave," I insist and she gently laughs.

"_Made him_?" She gently lifts her brows. "If I know anything about my son, it's no one can _make_ him do anything he doesn't want to do. He left on his own and cursed himself every day since. And the day you came back into his life is the day we all started to live again."

I look at her with a weak expression, my heart painful in my chest. "I missed him so much."

"I know my son loves you. In his heart, Mac Taylor loves only you."

Those few words hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted so much to believe Mac capable of loving me, but until she actually confessed those feelings to me, I never thought it true. I still want to hear him tell me those words; force me to acknowledge that he does love me, but hearing her say them to me right now, finally forces my heart rate back to an acceptable level.

"I don't deserve that love Millie."

"You two really are the same," she smiles as her warm hand gently touches my cheek and wipes a tear away. "Why do you think he also never moved on?"

"Wondered that myself," I admit with quiet sorrow.

"He's had offers as I'm sure you have; but when you love someone, and I mean truly in your heart, time doesn't seem to matter, that love never fades. I remember back in Chicago. Her name was Shelly. She was very nice; same features he always seemed to fancy, olive skin, golden hair and a bright smile; same as you. She was persistent; one time showing up on our doorstep and wouldn't leave until Mac finally made it clear nothing was going to happen between the two of them. I asked him why and he looked at me, stated three words and then turned around and left."

"What um...what were the words?" I dare to ask.

_"She's not Stella_. That was four years ago and his attitude has never changed."

My eyes flood once more as my brain forces me to picture Mac's tormented face stating those words and I have no breath left in me, my heart aches to beat.

"After that it was abundantly clear that no matter who came along, no matter how much time would pass, no one would ever measure up to the only woman that lives inside his mind and heart; that woman is you. For the past four years I have seen that for myself. And every time someone would even look his way, he'd simply say, '_she's not Stella,'_ and that would be it. It's only ever been you."

I finally break down, unable to hold it inside and lean over and offer whatever fluid emotion my body hand handle. I feel Millie's warm hands on my back, gently rubbing it as she allows me my breakdown.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper in misery.

"Don't be sorry. I think the fact that in the past four years you too haven't so much as dated another man, tells me more than you might think. You love Mac. Am I right?"

"With all my heart and soul. I never wanted anyone other than him," I whisper as I finally push myself back up and look at her in regret. "That's why this hurts so much. I never wanted to hurt either of you and I can't...Millie how can you look at Cameron and not lament the fact that he's alive because of what I drove Mac to? We are all here because of what I did."

"Much like him, you too are also very hard on yourself. You made a mistake and yes he should have stayed and worked it out instead of using his jealousy to dictate his actions. But we can't go back now can we? And when it comes to Cameron, Anna doesn't even factor. I love that child more than life itself sometimes. Him and his father. I know you don't want to hurt Mac and I would never pressure you to do something that you don't want in your heart. But it would do me the great honor for you to consider a future with my son and grandson."

I look at her in shock. What? Did she just tell me she wants me around? A permanent fixture in her son's life? A step mother to her grandson? Her daughter in law?

"What?" I finally manage.

"I adore you Stella, I want you to know and believe that," Millie states warmly, her own eyes now watering. "I have wanted the two of you to be together since he went after you in Greece. And while you two might have had a slight detour along the way, you are together now, that's all that really matters. However there is one important question that I must ask?"

My heart races in anticipation; wondering if the happy bubble we just created is finally going to burst. "What is it?"

"I know you love Mac, that is very evident to me. If you didn't you wouldn't be so worried about hurting him. And I know Cameron is very easy to love once you get to know him. But I ask this out of selfish motherly concern..."

"Yes I want to be here for the long haul," I quickly surmise in my mind the coming words and I notice her face instantly relax. "That's what you want me to assure you of right? That I'll come to love both of them and want be with them. Not just be here right now; some kind of remorseful attraction and then just leave? Breaking Mac's heart once again?"

"Sorry Stella."

"It's okay Millie. I'd want to know the same thing. But I want to be here, with them, for as long as they want me. I know Mac doesn't believe that right now."

"Well he is stubborn," she gently smiles. "But I know in his heart that he wants you with him for the rest of his life."

"Danny and Lindsay invited us over for dinner."

"He told me. Same reason he said he can't go back to the old lab; even though I know he wants to."

"He feels like he failed?" I query and she nods her head. "What will convince him otherwise?"

"Sadly only himself. He needs to see that he is human like everyone else and that these things will pass; people heal and move on. That is what I want for the two of you."

I look at the older woman before me with a warm smile, my heart rate back to normal. "I'm glad I came to see you."

"Me too," she replies kindly. "I wouldn't have wanted any kind of tension between us to develop. And I certainly wouldn't want to be the reason you wouldn't come here to see by boys."

Her term _my boys_ warms my heart as we both hear Cameron finally starting to stir in the other room.

"It's alive," Millie teases and I finally feel myself offer a heavy sigh. "You know, I know distance right now is a factor, but I don't think Mac would mind if you just dropped by during the week from time to time."

"I thought about surprising him but not sure what his um...weekly routine is."

"Pretty dull," she shrugs with a smirk. "But if you are out this way on say Wednesday, I think they would both like a mid week surprise."

"I think I would like that also."

"Gamma..." Cameron softly moans as he slowly wanders toward us, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. With his hair mussed up and his blue eyes looking at me intently, I can't help but smile.

"Hi Cameron," I greet.

Then much to the shock of both of us, he runs up to me first and wraps his arms around my neck, forcing this time, happy tears from my eyes.

"Mummy!" He calls out and I look at Millie with a weak frown.

"Missed you sweet boy," I whisper into his ear as I kiss his cheek.

He looks at me with a broad smile as he plants a warm kiss on my cheek before lunging at his grandmother.

"As I said before," Millie starts, "with love and time you soon forget past pain."

I know instantly what she means. As soon as Cameron wrapped his arms around me and offered the small display of affection, I couldn't help but want to forget the reason he came into the world. And I know that being around him and Mac on a daily basis would afford me that much longed for peace of mind.

"Did you miss _Stella_?" Millie asks Cameron and he looks at her with a smile.

"Yes!"

"I guess I should go," I finally mention as I watch Millie look up at the clock; wanting to take my leave before Mac gets home.

"You can wait you know."

"I um...I know but it would be just too much to explain right now and...but I should tell him."

"Play joe ...ith me Stella?" Cameron asks as he runs back up to me.

"I have to go sweetie."

"...here?"

"WHere," Millie gently corrects and Cameron nods his head; showing me a glimpse of the parenting example that Mac obviously follows with success. "Say it Cameron," she instructs in a gentle but firm tone.

"Wwwwwhere?" Cameron finally tries and succeeds.

"I have to go to my home Cameron," I tell him and he looks at his gramma for an explanation.

"Stella doesn't live here Cameron."

"Stay here...play with walleee mummy?"

"I would love to, but I'm sorry I can't," I tell him as I gently touch his soft cheek, my heart once again aching. "Millie?"

"I'll distract him."

"I..."

"I know you want more but that is for you and Mac to work out."

However, just as I am about to take my leave, I hear a key being turned in the door and offer myself a curse for not leaving sooner.

"Daddeeee!" Cameron shouts as he runs to the door to greet his father and my lips can't help but curl into a warm smile. However, when Mac rounds the corner with his son fixed firmly in his grasp, my nervous anxiety returns and my smile wants to strain.

"Stella!" Mac exclaims in surprise as he slowly lowers Cameron to the floor and then looks from me to his mother and then back to me again.

"Cameron and I are going to clean up his room," Millie states as she takes her grandson by the hand and leads him out of the room as I slowly make my way toward Mac, my heart racing once again.

"What um...what happened? Everything okay? Stella?" Mac asks me in haste. "What's going on?"

"I came to see your mother," I state as I head for the door.

"What? Why?"

"I had to...I guess just..."

"Stella?"

"Mac, I don't want you to think I came here to talk to her because I didn't believe you."

"But you didnt?" He asks gently; not as angry as I assumed he would be.

"I just had to talk to her myself," I admit in a soft tone. "Now I know you might think it too soon, but each time you bring her up I'll just be thinking she hates me for what I did and the longer I dwelt on that stuff the more of a mental rift I would have caused between her and I. I just needed to talk to her as soon as possible. This way things I can start to build a loving bond with her as well."

"Are you okay?" Mac wonders as he gently brush a tear streak on my face.

"I am now. I also had to say sorry to her for hurting her son the way I did. Didn't want her to hate me."

"She never hated you Stella."

"She told me that. I guess I um...Mac I'm sorry, I just needed to hear it from her. Again that's why this soon. Hard to keep thinking someone hates you when they don't," I pause as I stop by the door, offering a weak smile to the handsome man before me. I gently touch his cheek before I offer a small kiss to his inviting lips. "Mac, for us to progress and with her being such a big part of your lives, I had to make my peace; mostly for me, but also for you and Cameron."

"For us?" Mac asks weakly.

"For us. Tell me you believe me Mac. Send me away from here believing that you believe that I am here for both of you for the long haul."

Mac looks at me before he pulls me into his arms and holds me close. "Well when I tell other's I believe it, I guess it's time I started believing it myself," he confesses in a soft tone and I pull back in surprise.

"Who did you tell?"

"Don."

"Mac? You did what?"

"I told him that I want you in my life on a permanent basis as my wife and I guess we both just needed to hear confirmation from other sources. What does that say about us?" He queries in wonder.

"It says we need to act on what we tell others."

"No time like the present," I tell him in truth as his forehead rests on mine.

"No time like the present," he echoes softly, his eyes closed and his mind, I'm sure in thought "Do you want to stay for dinner?" He asks as he pulls back.

"I can't tonight, but one of these days I might surprise you."

"You know you can come here any day right? And if you want us to come to see you, just let me know."

"I know it's not easy for you to bundle up Cameron and all."

"I don't mind."

"I know," I reply in haste as I hear his son calling for him. "I should go and let Cameron have his daddy back."

"I want you to stay."

"I can't, not tonight. I just need to go home and..." my voice trails off as my eyes gently water.

"Stella? What is it? Please don't cry."

"Some things were hard to admit to her, but I'm glad I did. I'll be okay."

"But..."

"Go to your son Mac," I urge as I kiss his lips once more. "I'll talk to you soon."

"When?"

"I have to go Mac," I state as I finally push myself out the door and into the hallway. "Goodnight."

He offers me a whispered goodnight in return as I quickly take my leave; my mind already made up to surprise Mac and his son with dinner on Wednesday night. But as I head for the truck my eyes have already flooded as I remembered Millie's words, '_she's not Stella,'_ and I know I'll once again spend the rest of the night in silent reflection.

* * *

"Mom?" I call out after Stella has finally disappeared from view and I head back inside, locking the door and going in search of my mother and son. Cameron is the first to attack me, taking me to my knees so he can look me face on.

"Missed you daddy," Cameron mumbles as he forces his way into my open arms and holds on while I stand up, my son still attached to my neck. However, my eyes are fixed on the other person in the room who simply stands up and kisses me on the cheek.

"Why was Stella here?"

"Mac, she came to me in confidence and I am not going to betray that. Besides, no matter what I tell you, you'll just spend the rest of the night picking apart."

"I will not," I offer in protest as I follow my other out of my son's bedroom. "Please?"

"She said she was sorry and I told her she wasn't to blame just like you are not to blame. Two wrongs; and I told her I wasn't mad at her and never blamed her."

"That's it?"

"Goodnight my son," my mother smiles as she kisses Cameron on the cheek.

"But..."

"As I said before Mac, she needed to talk to me in person and in private. Please respect her enough by not prying for something that isn't yours to have."

"Was it about me?"

"It was about her."

"Did you talk about me?"

"No, we talked about my _other son_ that she loves."

"She said she loves me?" I ask with an instant lump in my throat as my mother tenderly touches my face.

"She loves you McCanna. That sounds like a good foundation to build a family on."

"She said that?"

"Believe in love my son," she tells me softly. "I'm going to let you have your alone time with Cameron."

I watch her finally close the door and then look down at my son who is still wrapped around my neck and waist and can't help but smile. I carry Cameron into the living room and place him on the floor, before easing myself down beside him. I watch him intently; seemingly unfazed by all the heartache that grownups like to put upon themselves over seemingly minor issues. He looks up, flashes me a warm smile before looking back at the small machine in his hands that he's trying to make work.

"Joe daddy...play with joe and walleeeee."

I take the small action figure but have no interest in playing, my mind is now wondering about the discussion that Stella had with my mother. From the emotional snippets that Stella had told me about how she was feeling over all this leads me to believe that the discussion was probably strained and draining, in truth I can't fault her for not wanting to stay for dinner. Cameron calls to me, pulling me from my thoughts once again.

He's what's got me through these past two years of not having Stella around to distract my thoughts. He has given me so much and I know when I say thank you at times he has no idea of the valuable role he plays in my life; my words never able to express my love for him.

Part of me wants to call Stella and demand she tell me what her and my mother talked about; as I know my mother wont give in to my incessant begging for some mental relief. But the other part, the part that thankfully wins out, allows Stella to have her private talk with my mother; my brain taking much comfort in the fact that Stella told my mother she loves me. Now I just need to figure out when I will tell her that in person.

"Are you hungry Cameron?"

"...here's mummy?" He asks, looking up at me in wonder.

"She had to go home."

"...here?"

"WHere, try it."

He shakes his head no and I know I am too tired to argue with him once again. "She went home."

"Why?" He asks; proving to me that when he's not displaying the Taylor stubbornness and concentrates he can talk normally.

"Because she lives there."

"Why?"

"Because that's her home?"

"Why?"

By the third one word demand, my patience has almost been spent so I lean in and kiss him on the head and get up to leave. Cameron tugs at my shirt and looks at me with a frown.

"Why daddy?" He queries again.

"Cameron, I am tired and hungry and so are you. Stella had to go home because she lives there," I state firmly, my anxiety about her appearance here and not getting any solid answers as to why that will suffice my mental battle, my tone is a bit harsher than I wanted.

Cameron looks at me, his eyes already wet and his bottom lip about to quiver and my heart breaks. "Come here my sweet boy," I mention, not realizing that Stella also uses the same term of affection to address my son. I gather him into my arms and he buries his face in the folds of my dress shirt and cries; forcing my chest to offer an automatic sigh of remorse. I kiss the top of his head and then gently bring his face to look at mine.

"I'm sorry if I was gruff," I tell him not wanting to add an excuse he won't understand in the first place. "Want an Oreo sipper for dessert?" I ask with a small twinge of guilt; hating to use a bribe to make him offer me a smile instead of the sad face before me. Thankfully my ploy works as seconds later his pout is replaced with a frown and the Taylor household is right once again. "Daddy is going to get changed and then I'll make supper okay? Can you just play here for daddy while I do that?"

Cameron nods his head yes and finally allows me to get up and head for my bedroom. Once inside my blackberry buzzes to life and I almost trip over the bed to get to it in haste; praying its Stella calling, for any reason. My smile widens as I am blessed with her name on the display and answer in haste.

"Are you having dinner?"

"Not yet. Was trying some Chinese water torture methods on my mother to get her to talk," I huff and she lightly laughs.

"How is that working for you?"

"It's not."

"Mac, there is nothing to worry about. I needed to talk to your mother in private; I just need you to respect that and take it at face value. If anything, she furthered my wanting to be a permanent fixture in yours and Cameron's life."

"She did?"

"She did," Stella warmly assures me. "Please Mac, don't worry."

"I'll try. Is everything okay?"

"Just wanted make sure you are okay. I'm sorry I left so abruptly."

"I am okay but I think in light of...well whatever you talked about I can understand. But I still feel bad."

"You know I sometimes think this guilt routine is just a rouse to get my sympathy and attention."

"Is it working?"

"Might garner you a good ass kicking," Stella lightly laughs and I finally offer her a slight chuckle in return.

"I would probably deserve it."

"You deserve to be happy Mac, we all do."

"I'm happy with you Stella."

"I'm happy to hear that," Stella softly whispers as I ease myself down on the edge of the bed.

"Wish we had gotten the hang of this before."

"Yeah me too."

"Wish you were here for supper."

"Another night Mac."

"When?"

"Well can't be on Friday. We are still on right?"

"Trust me that's the only day this week I'm looking forward too," I admit with a soft sigh.

"Well I'll just have to do something about the other days," Stella states and I look at the phone in wonder.

"What?"

"Goodnight Mac, I'll talk to you soon."

"You love doing that to me don't you?" I ask and she laughs.

"Your son isn't the only one with the cute confused expression."

"I see. I guess I should go and get him something to eat. But I'm glad you called. Are you going to be okay? You looked pretty sad when you left?"

"I'm going to be okay. You know this healing process will make us stronger."

"I agree."

"Goodnight Mac."

"Night Stella," I whisper as I hang up, my lips finally curled into a smile as push myself up off the bed and quickly change before I head into the kitchen again to make dinner for me and Cameron. I head into the kitchen to get started and then watch as he rushes toward me, stops, gets his small chair and drags it over to my side.

"Help daddy make suppa," he mumbles with enthusiasm.

"You want to help do you," I state and he smiles as I push the chair by the sink. "Can you wash these?"

He nods his head as he holds out his hands and waits for me to turn on the warm water and then starts to wash the two apples that I have given him. Since Cameron loves apples my mother has given me a simple cole slaw type salad dish that includes fresh apples that he seems to love. I watch him get to work and once again allow my mind to wander and soon enough my mind pictures Stella in the kitchen beside us, laughing and talking as a family as we all make dinner together.

I start the water boiling, trying to get my mind off what other things Stella and my mother might have talked about but as I think about it more, I'm happy that Stella wasn't afraid to come and seek out my mother; to make amends for something she felt she did to inflict pain on me when it was my actions that drove her to her actions in the first place.

I want Stella to be comfortable around my mother as my mother isn't going to be leaving anytime soon and so the more I think about it; despite my own selfish need to know and control everything in my life, I finally have to take this on a leap of faith and have to trust that today's events will only work to further our goal of being together as a family.

_'She said she loves you,'_ my mother's words once again offer me some mental comfort so that by the time Cameron and I actually sit down to eat, my nervous anxiety has all but subsided and I am ready to give my son the full attention he needs and deserves as he tells me about his busy day.

Finally after supper, I put Cameron down to bed and then slowly wander into my own. I am hoping that when Stella said she'd have to do something about a visit before Friday she will but even if she doesn't, I know I'll be calling her; just to hear the sound of her voice, forcing my mind to think happy thoughts instead of a future as a single father; for I know in my heart I'll never love another woman as long as I draw breath.

"Goodnight Stella," I whisper into the still room; praying that one day, her soft voice will offer me the same words in return.

* * *

I lay in bed on my back, soft tears still escaping the corners of my eyes and resting on the folds of the blanket. I look at Mac's name on the display the call ended long ago and I gently frown. In truth as much as it hurt to talk to Millie and hear the things she told me about Mac loving me was what I needed to hear. I know his mother will respect my privacy but I also know that she'll ensure that Mac knows I love him.

"I need to tell him in person that I love him, make him believe me," I tell myself as I gently brush my tears away and slowly sit up. I look at my sad reflection in the mirror and offer a soft grunt as I finally push myself off the bed and head into the bathroom to get ready for the night; my stomach not the least bit interested in food.

_'She's not Stella,'_ were the tormented words that danced around inside my brain as I pushed myself under the covers and prayed for sleep. _'It was you Stella, it always has been...the only one since Claire that he has dared to want to love again.'_

"Oh Mac, I'm so sorry for all this. Why didn't you ever tell me," I lightly lament into my darkened room. As much as my confession to Millie wanted to make me dwell on the past, her words also gave me hope for the future; that hope I once again cling to with my last breath.

But I finally convince my emotionally charged brain to dwell on the thought of me surprising Mac and Cameron on Wednesday night for dinner and I am finally able to get at least a few hours sleep. But morning comes all too quickly and as I look at myself in the mirror I just shake my head.

"And you don't even have a hangover to blame," I chide myself as I reach for a small elastic band to put my hair up. _Hangover_, it's funny that word is like bitter poison in my mouth. Four years ago it was thanks to a drunken state that I made a horrific mistake and now I limit myself to one drink an outing; other times opting for nothing other than coffee.

I finally head out the door to work and as I had assumed by the time I get into the lab, Lindsay is waiting for me, a large smile on her face.

"Can I at least get in the door?" I ask with a wry smile.

"How did it go with Millie yesterday?"

"It was painful but then I expected it to be. But she said she never hated or blamed me and although Mac had already told me that...well I guess I just needed to hear it from her for myself."

"And now that you know?"

"I think it'll be easier to be around them all. The last thing I wanted was there to be friction between me and his mother; I mean she's been the stabilizing force in both of lives for the past two years. Damn Lindsay, four years...I lost all that time with Mac. I mean..." I stop and allow myself to look out the window. "I had made a promise to myself yesterday to not dwell on the past as it's what's keeping us from really moving forward."

"But you are still on for your date on Friday night right?"

"I just wish he lived closer," I lament. "I am going to drop by on Wednesday night and surprise them with dinner. Millie suggested it would be a good night and I figure it will make this week go by faster."

"I for one am happy for you. I have missed you coming into work with a smile on your face instead of a look of mental suicide."

"Yeah I missed that also. I know and I love him. Now we just need to convince each other that it's true."

"Trust me Stella, you and Mac were made for each other. It's about time the two of you started to finally have what the rest of us have wanted for you two all along. And dinner with us?"

"I'll keep working on Mac."

"Please do," Lindsay urges. "We want him back where he belongs, at your side, here with us."

I watch her take her leave and then flip on my computer and my smile instantly widens when I see a message from Mac and quickly open it.

_'Morning, hope you slept well. Cameron drew another picture of his family last night and I wanted you to see it. Hope you have a good day. Mac.'_

I open the photo he's taken of the picture his son drew for me and my eyes want to water, with happy tears as I stare at the sticks of crayon and the word 'Stella' scrawled above my stick figure rendering. "Sweet boy," I whisper as I save the picture to my blackberry and then send Mac a quick reply.

_'Mac, picture is precious. Please give that sweet boy a hug and kiss for me; if you are okay with that. My day is set now. Hope your day is just as good. Love Stella.'_

I am about to turn push myself away from the desk when my email notification sounds and another new message pops up.

_'Stella, my day now is also complete. Love Mac.'_

I don't care if he didn't put love Mac first the fact that he answered in kind when I did it, tells me my words weren't too bold and that he's on the same emotional wavelength as me. I finally see Adam at my door and know I need to start my day.

"Hey Stella, I um heard you have been seeing Mac lately?" Adam asks in a quiet tone.

"We are working on reconciliation," I admit in truth as we head for the lab.

"Do you think he still hates me?"

"Mac never hated you Adam. He was just a bit misguided. He regretted the words and how he treated you."

"Well if you see him, can you say I'm sorry or something?"

"You know, I have his new email address. Might mean even more coming from you."

"Think so?"

"Can't hurt right?"

"Okay," Adam agrees as we walk up to Sheldon.

"So Doc, what was the cause of death?"

"Well..."

By the time Tuesday had finally come to its close, I was heading home with a smile and the promise of dinner with Mac and Cameron tomorrow. Tonight I stopped by the bookstore on the way home and picked up a new coloring book, a large pack of crayons, a Transformers notebook and a Thomas the Train reading book for children who are 4 years old. And with Mac confessing he wanted me as his wife I bought the book the Guide to Being a Successful Step-parent book with a happy heart.

"To be forearmed..." I mumble to myself as I ease into my bed and look at the book in my hands. I slowly open the first page and a few minutes later am actually more relaxed than I thought I would be. The book doesn't dwell on the reason you are a step-parent, as I so falsely assumed, but it talks about being in the role and being a success; gaining the child's love and trust and then working with the natural parent to build a loving home.

"I can do that," I whisper as I finally turn off the light, offer my usual goodnight to Mac and then close my eyes to get some sleep. But being so excited about the dinner I was going to surprise Mac and Cameron with, I hardly slept at all and by the time morning came about I found myself cursing the fact that I had to get out of bed.

But I did so willingly and once again arrived at work with a smile on my face.

"Now that's more like it," Sid greets me.

"Pardon?"

"A smile instead of scowl. How is Mac?"

"I'm going to see him tonight."

"Kinda assumed that."

"He's okay."

"How is the reconciliation going?"

"Better than expected."

"See knew you two could act like mature adults when needed."

I offer a sideways smile and then take the file he's offering and get to work. By the time mid-afternoon finally rolls around, my heart is racing with excited anticipation of tonight's dinner. I quietly excuse myself, take the goody bag for Cameron and then head to the underground parking lot and into the waiting Avalanche. I make a stop at a local market beside Mac's apartment and head inside.

"Shopping for your family?" The Lady behind the counter gently inquires.

"That's correct," I reply with a broad smile, the word _family_ already firmly rooted in my mind and heart. I take the items and then head for the checkout, my excitement about to burst at the seams. I head for Mac's apartment and then stop outside, take a few deep breaths and then knock on the door.

"Stella, welcome," Millie greets with a welcoming smile; not as surprised as I thought she'd be.

"I brought um...dinner," I tell her and she quickly ushers me inside.

"Mummy!" Cameron shouts as he drops his toys and rushes toward me, his arms wrapping around my legs and holding on firmly.

"Is this okay?"

"More than you know. I'm going to leave and..."

"Millie, you can stay."

"That time will come Stella, tonight is for you three," she smiles warmly as she looks down at Cameron. "Cameron, _Stella_ is going to stay with you right now until daddy comes home and then have supper with you. Is that okay?"

"Yah!" He agrees in haste with a large smile. "Play with joe..." he begs, tugging on my jacket sleeve.

"Cameron, let Stella put supper on the table first."

He offers a sad pout followed by a shrug but allows me to do what is necessary and then I watch Millie take her leave. Being alone with Cameron is so odd. I look around Mac's apartment before I slowly wander to his bedroom and lean on the doorpost and smile; everything in place as I suspected, even the toy box in the corner. I close my eyes and allow his faint scent to tempt my already hungry brain.

"Mac..." I whisper as I open my eyes again, Cameron's voice calling my name and forcing my brain back to reality and away from the bedroom. I take one last look at the neat bed before I turn and head into the living room. I sit down beside Cameron and start to play with some Disney cars toys and just watch. I can see why Mac didn't go off the deep end with Cameron around; and I am so thankful that Anna was able to find Mac and have Cameron live with his father. And as much as I know Cameron needed his father, I know inside that Cameron helped Mac more than he'll ever admit.

_I could easily love you Cameron_, my mind whispers as he looks up at me with a warm smile before handing me another action figure and then looking back down; chattering away about the story he's creating. I hear the key starting to turn in the lock once again and my heart is about to burst.

"Daddy!" Cameron shouts as he pushes himself up and races for the door. I hear some mild laughter and hushed voices as I slowly push myself upright. Then Mac rounds the corner with Cameron in his arms and stops short.

"Stella?"

* * *

**A/N:** So not to teary after Stella & Millie? What do you think Mac's reaction to the supper will be? Please review and let me know.

**PS**: Target Specific updates tomorrow

**PSS**: I just created a new poll. Please go to my profile and vote, it's a foregleam into 2010. Thanks so much to everyone who voted in my AU poll, those stories are being planned!


	9. A Mid Week Treat

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 9 - A Mid Week Treat**

**A/N 1:** Sorry guys the site was being stupid again today so I had to reload a few times to ensure it worked b/c the first few times only half the chapter showed up or none at all (sigh).

**A/N 2**: **Super Special thanks to Maja16**! She is truly talented and made an amazing video for his story and dedicated it to me and this story. (truly honored). It's an amazing vid and I hope you all check it out. Remember to put in the real (.) instead of the word dot.

www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=NqgE8YGOa2M

~_Chapter dedicated to Maja16. Thank you so much!~_

* * *

I hadn't expected much else from tonight, except to go home, eat, play with Cameron and then go to sleep. Never imagining for a second that I would come home to find my mother gone and Stella alone with my son waiting for me; the smell of a home cooked meal already on the table waiting; the glimpse of the family I want already here in my home.

"Stella?" I ask in happy surprise as Cameron slowly slides from my grasp, landing on his feet beside me.

"Surprise Mac," she states warmly as I quickly remove my coat, toss it aside and then walk up to her with a smile. I offer her a warm hug but quickly pull back when Cameron starts tugging at my jacket.

"Mummy brings suppa daddy," Cameron states with a smile.

"Well I'd like to say I cooked it myself but..."

"_You_ brought us dinner?" I ask weakly, as I slowly remove my suit jacket and lay it over a nearby chair.

"I did, I hope that's okay."

I look at her with a slight frown. _Okay? My mind wonders. It's amazing!_ "More than okay." I watch as Cameron rushes back up to me with an arm full of new stuff and kneel down to inspect. "Where did you get all these from?"

"Mummy," he confesses and I look up in surprise. I once again feel a lump in my throat and just as I am about to say something I'll probably regret, Stella's fingers squeeze my shoulder and my mouth shuts. If she didn't correct him then I am not going to either; I mean it's not like he has anyone _yet _telling him that his mum and dad are supposed to live together as a family. So for right now he can choose if he wants to call her mummy or Stella; I'll still use her name for now and... Damn it I hate this!

"Figured the aspiring artist could use a few new supplies," Stella tells me with a warm smile as I look back at my son.

"Did you thank Stella?" I ask him and he firmly nods his head yes.

"Thank you Stella," Cameron mumbles again as she kneels down beside me; his small mind not yet wrapping around why I call her Stella instead of mummy, at least right now.

"You're welcome sweet boy," she tells him and I look at her in shock. "What?" She asks me.

"Nothing just um...I call him that also. Nice to hear it from you," I whisper softly as Cameron finally takes his leave. Stella plants a warm kiss on my cheek as we both stand up.

"Thanks for the picture; it's on my fridge with the other one."

"Soon, it'll look like mine," I mention as we reach the table. I look at the delicious spread before me and then over at Stella with a timid expression. "This looks amazing."

"Wasn't sure what you both liked to eat so..."

"Actually Cameron likes just about anything. Cameron come and wash your hands for supper," I instruct my son. "How was work?"

"Sid said to say hello and Adam said to say he's sorry."

"Yeah I got an email from him," I offer with a heavy sigh as my mind wanders back to the email from my former remorseful lab tech.

_'Hey Boss! Still think of you as that. I guess just wanted to say I am sorry if caused any problems and it would be really cool if you were back with us. Um didn't mean to drink that much that night and I regret my actions; I know I was also partly to blame and it was nothing, really. Been waiting four years to say sorry so...I'm sorry. Hope you'll forgive me. Okay bye. Adam.'_

"And?" Stella asks as she hands a small towel to Cameron so he can dry his hands.

"And I wrote back and told him that I too was sorry for yelling and that he wasn't really to blame for anything."

"And what did he say in return?"

"Thanks boss," I reply and Stella smiles as she touches my cheek.

"No one faulted you Mac, we all blamed ourselves for you leaving us. And in truth we never wanted you to leave."

"Right well..." I take her hand and gently hold it in mine as I offer her a slight smile. "I guess we should eat."

"That thought ever cross your mind? You coming back? Even for a visit?"

"See if I survive our date first," I grimace and Stella offers a kind smile as Cameron walks back into the kitchen and looks up at us.

"Mac?"

"It...it has Stella but..."

"Just happy to hear it has Mac. That's all I wanted to know."

"Supper daddeee..." he moans, pulling the bottom of my dress shirt out of my pants, forcing a soft smirk to form upon my lips at his actions.

The three of us head to the table and sit down. I lean back in my chair and observe Stella dishing out some food to Cameron before she offers me a soft sideways smile and my heart starts to settle a bit more. My son looks up at her and smiles and my heart nearly melts when he offers a small thank you and then gets to work on his plate of food.

"This seriously is amazing," I praise as Stella dishes me out a few things. "Thank you almost doesn't seem enough."

"I wanted to Mac, for all of us."

"You've now ruined it for every other night when I'm here alone," I mention softly as I don't dare raise my eyes upward to look at hers. But when she touches my hand, I have no choice to but allow blue to collide with green in a meeting of remorse and warm desire.

"There will be other night's Mac. I promise."

"Daddy likes siken," Cameron mumbles as he stuffs more food into his mouth and I just groan.

"The word is Chicken and you will pace yourself Cameron. No more food in your mouth until that is done," I huff before I allow him to shove more food before he has a chance to chew and swallow.

"Sorry," he offers with a sad expression and I lightly shake my head. I watch as Cameron looks over at Stella, wanting to see her reaction but she simply nods at him but says nothing. During the meal we make small talk about the days events and how our case load is very similar in our respective labs.

"I have to say this Mac, I miss seeing you in that office every day; miss you as my partner at my side," Stella mentions as we stand side by side in the kitchen doing the dishes. Her hand touches my back and I immediately stop my actions and look at her with a slight frown. "I don't expect you to counter that but I had to say it."

However, I offer nothing in reply as I turn back to my task at hand and continue doing the dishes; Stella continuing to put all the leftovers into whatever pieces of Tupperware she can find.

"You know for a single father Mac, I'm very impressed with the number of plastic containers I was able to find," Stella mentions as she put the rest of the food into the fridge and then stands up to face me with a warm smile.

"Blame my mother," I smile and she leans into my ear, her cheek pressing against mine.

"She loves you," Stella whispers and the right side of my body starts to tingle. Sadly she pulls away took quickly, and then Cameron rushes into the kitchen before I can offer a small display of gratitude in return.

"Mummy!" Cameron states excitedly. "Come see what I colored."

We both follow Cameron to his play table and sure enough he's opened his new coloring book and crayons and has colored the first page in bright colors. Cameron shows his work to Stella, looking for approval, and her who, once again seems unable to resist his charm is eager to compliment.

"I'll be right back," I mention softly as I turn and head for my bedroom. I hurry into my bedroom and close the door half way, my dress shirt already off and my undershirt next. However, just as I get my undershirt off and am reaching for a sweater to put on the door opens and I turn to see Stella watching me.

"Sorry I um..." she turns to leave but pauses before looking back.

"Stella?" I gently ask as I walk up to her, my chest still bare and her hungry eyes now starting to devour me. My face starts to warm as her gaze deepens and I suddenly feel nervous standing before her. Stella has seen me before with my shirt off, but given the intimate setting of my bedroom, my son in the other room, my nervous anxiety is higher than I expected.

"I came to thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For tonight. For allowing me to be a part of this, if even on a small level," she admits as she takes a step closer; our bodies now only a few feet apart.

"I wanted this from the first day I saw you in the park," I confess in a low tone. "Just wasn't sure you did."

"Really?"

"Actually from the first day that Anna dropped Cameron into my life. I wanted to call you..." my voice trails off as I turn away. Her fingers on my bare arm force my tormented gaze back to her.

"Mac?"

"It's true Stella, I picked up the phone and almost dialed but...but I was scared and ashamed and...I swear if you hadn't called my name in the park I probably would have just...I wanted to call you, I really did."

"I'm here now right?"

"You're here now," I state in quiet torment. My eyes continually search hers for another answer; any kind of glimpse into tomorrow.

"I should go."

"I want you to stay, at least until Cameron falls asleep? Would make it easier on him. I know this is hard on us and...I mean for him to keep calling you..."

"I meant I should leave _your room_ and let you change," Stella gently stammers.

"Oh right," I smirk.

"Seeing you like that is telling my brain the wrong thoughts."

"Really?"

"Really."

But as she turns to leave, my arm reaches out, grabs her and pulls her back against my bare chest, keeping her captive against my warm skin. Her fingers latch onto the smooth skin of my bare back as my other hand gets tangled in curls as I bring her lips to mine and hungrily taste them. Her fingers tempt my bare skin as they move lower on my back, my core already on fire and my desire for her about to make itself known. But before we can get too carried away, my little conscience comes running into the room and we instantly break apart; a little out of breath but with warm, contented smiles on both our faces.

"Mac..." Stella whispers with a smile and I know I don't have to offer anything in return as my brain has the same thought as hers, _we will_ get this moment back and hopefully very soon_._

"When is Friday?" I groan and Stella nods in agreement.

"Daddy's naked!" Cameron laughs and I just roll my eyes as I scoop him up into my arms. His fingers start to dig into my sides and soon it's me who's offering a laugh as well.

"Why are you naked daddy?" Cameron asks loudly as I gently toss him onto the bed and reach for a sweater, Stella hovering in the doorway.

"I didn't have time to change," I tell my son in truth as I quickly reach for a shirt to cover myself up completely. I look up at Stella with a weak grin as she looks at me with a knowing grin before I pick up Cameron and follow her out of the room.

XXXXXXXX

When Mac pulled me against his chest and started to kiss me, I wanted nothing more than to push him to the floor and tear off the rest of his clothes and devour him on the spot. I felt his desire for me, his body so readily available to betray itself to me in a matter of minutes. His lips; his hands; his heart; his wanting desire, all tell me that the passion I once feared dead was still alive and it didn't take much, not even an anxious child in the other room, for us to act on the impulses we were both feeling inside. When is Friday?

Thankfully Cameron came to our rescue, as I know it's not the time or place for such an intimate act. But with Cameron on the scene now, I just can't ask Mac to spend the night at my place. And despite the 'no men' policy that I have held to since before Frankie, Mac is the one man that I actually want invite into my fortress of solitude. I can't blame Cameron for the fact that Mac can't just stay the night when he wants, it wouldn't be fair to his mother or to Cameron. I'll just have to work on a better arrangement. One where neither of us has to leave - ever.

I once again take much delight in hearing Mac laugh at his son's playful actions and love watching them gently wrestle and play before Mac lets him go and puts on a shirt and then follows me back into the living room. This time I watch with happy delight as Mac eases himself down beside Cameron and allows his son to use his body as a playfield for various sorts of plastic action figures. I sit and watch the delightful scene my heart aching that I am missing out on this amazing family night every night.

My eyes crinkle in delight as Mac makes small talk with a little man on his forehead and Cameron laughs as he puts two more little men on his father's face.

"Oww," Mac huffs as Cameron sticks one in his eye and Mac's arm shoots out and pokes his son in the side and Cameron then launches himself onto his father's chest, forcing Mac's lips to offer a small gasp for air, but he doesn't get mad.

"I've got you now Cameron," Mac teases his struggling son. "I think that might allow Stella a tickling advantage," Mac gestures to me with his face and I'm instantly game. I put my fingers on each side and gently start to tickle and soon the once quiet room is filled with the infectious warm laughter of Cameron Taylor.

"Stops...daddeeee..." Cameron wails as his eyes start to water from laughing so much. "Stops..." he wheezes and Mac's arms finally let him go and he allows Cameron to turn the tables on him, twisting himself around and digging his small fingers into Mac's sweater clad sides.

"Help mummy!" Cameron pleads and I don't need to be asked twice as I lean in closer and start to tickle Mac as well, his warm blue eyes locking with mine and smiling; thanking me without spoken words. Mac's warm laughter once again fills my brain with happy thoughts and it is once again racing to commit each enjoyable second to my Mac/Cameron mental highlight reel.

The tickle siege finally lets up as Cameron's attention span switches to something else allowing Mac to push himself up onto the couch beside me, almost out of breath. I push some sweaty strands off his forehead and he looks over at me with a warm smile.

"Enjoy that?"

"Very much. But next time, I want your sides bare," I whisper and his face goes even a deeper shade of crimson.

"I give him an upper hand, what would be your excuse?"

"Handcuffs," I wink and he smirks.

"Ah," Mac replies as Cameron looks back up at us with something else in his hand. "I have a set too you know."

"Guess it's a good thing Cameron can't understand us," I chuckle and he's quick to agree as he picks up a small toy and starts to fiddle with it.

"Ironhide."

"Pardon?"

"From the movie Transformers. He loves them and actually can transform a few of these small easy ones."

"Never saw that movie," I mention quietly as Mac looks at me with a slight frown. "No one to go with."

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"Just am."

"Then be sorry you owe me five bucks."

"What?"

"Remember I said you owe me for a sorry that isn't necessary."

"Stella, that was Saturday."

"Semantics Mac. Now pay up," I playfully urge as I poke him in the side and his lips elicit a small outburst of laughter.

"IOU?"

"Okay just stop with the sad face."

"I do not have a sad face," Mac insists. "Cameron does," he smirks, forcing his son to look up with a confused expression, "but not me."

"Would you like little lost puppy dog better?"

"Hardly," Mac shrugs with a warm smile, his eyes resting on his son. I study Mac's face when he looks at Cameron and more than love is offered; pride and devotion also feelings his brain and heart are offering toward his son.

"Do you mind if I read with him for a bit?" Mac suddenly asks.

"Mind? Not at all. I'm the um...I guess intru..."

"Visitor? Even that sounds cold; but never intruder Stella," he insists as he takes my hand and allows his fingers to intertwine with mine. "I wish you belonged here right now but..."

"Mac, I'm here for you," I correct in haste and his face instantly relaxes. "Please stick to whatever routine you find normal. I'm happy just to be here for well family night."

"Family night. Really like the sound of that."

"Yeah me too."

"Hey Cameron want to read?"

"Thomas," Cameron mentions as he pushes himself up and heads toward another pile of toys.

"We don't have a Thomas reading book sweet boy, now..."

"Mac, I bought him one," I finally admit and Mac looks at me in shock.

"Y-you did?"

"Daddy, Thomas!" Cameron states triumphantly as he rushes toward us with the brand new reading book in his hands and Mac looks at me with a smile.

"Thank you. I wanted this one but didn't have time as of late to actually go and get one," Mac tells me as he hoists Cameron into the air and places him on his lap, facing me. Cameron looks at me with a shy smile as he nestles into his father's strong embrace.

Mac gently pushes the new book open and looks at his son, who is now staring at the book with interest. Mac starts into the first simple sentence. He says the word and then gets Cameron to repeat it; then he asks Cameron to point to the word they just read and then Mac corrects him and shows him the word and then does the same with the rest of the sentence.

I settle back into the couch; the warm soft tone of Mac's soothing voice starting to lull me into a contented stupor and the longer I stare at them more I want to picture myself trading places with Mac, holding that precious boy in my arms, teaching him to read and being the lucky recipient of his love.

"Excellent Cameron," Mac praises his son and my heart melts when Cameron's arms wrap around his neck and he gives him a big kiss. "We'll do more tomorrow."

"Tister daddy," Cameron begs as they finish their reading.

"Tister?" I query.

"Twister," Mac corrects and I look at him with a wide smile. "Nice try," Mac smirks and I instantly pout.

"Please daddy?"

"Cameron, it's late and you have ten more minutes to play before you go to bed."

"Daddeeee..." Cameron starts to complain.

"Or you can go to bed now," Mac counters and Cameron crosses his arms in protest.

"Tister daddy."

"Cameron you heard me," Mac starts with a firm tone and I can tell he's getting a bit frustrated. But the one thing I read in the step-parenting handbook said that the step-parent needs to back the natural parent on matters of reasonable discipline. Mac's offer to Cameron is reasonable. And while I myself would like to play Twister, I have to back and respect Mac on this.

Cameron looks at me and I finally get to offer a nod in agreement with Mac and he looks away in sorrow. "Not tonight," I offer and Mac looks at me in happy surprise.

"Ten minutes, right Cameron?"

"Right," Cameron mumbles in a sad tone.

"Twister huh," I shoot at Mac and he gently chuckles.

"Don't get any ideas."

"A bit late for that," I confess as I lean in and brush my lips on his soft ear. "You had me back in the bedroom when you were half naked," I whisper and notice his skin reward my words with soft Goosebumps. "Are you nervous Mac Taylor?"

"Playing Twister with you?" He arches his brows. "Maybe."

"Good that means I'd win."

"Bedtime Cameron," Mac finally mentions and Cameron looks up to offer a protest. But both of us can see he's struggling to stay awake so falling asleep won't be that hard.

"I let you stay up a bit longer because Stella's here but its bed time now. Say goodnight to Stella."

Cameron offers me a warm hug and I plant a soft kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight Cameron."

I allow them some private time so that Cameron can change without a stranger watching and then slowly wander over to Cameron's room and peer inside. I see Mac kneeling down beside his son and my heart warms instantly.

"Goodnight sweet boy," Mac whispers into the quiet, dimly lit room as he kisses his son on the cheek and then pulls the covers over him and turns to leave. He finally notices me watching and offers a warm smile as he nears me and then closes the door half way, before locking the security gate across the door.

"I just get nervous that he'll get into trouble if he wakes up before me. But he's almost tall enough to climb over. Good thing he hasn't figured that out yet."

XXXXXXXX

Stella and I head back into the living room and I want more than anything for her to stay the night, but I know I can't make that suggestion yet; I need us to be a little more established as when I do offer, I'll want it to be on a more permanent basis; like every night.

"Can you stay a bit longer?" I ask Stella as we reach the couch.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I admit as we sit down, Stella's body pressing into mine. A few minutes of silence pass before I finally decide to break it.

"Well that's it."

"Mac?"

"Tonight, was it boring?"

"Boring?" Stella asks me in wonder as she twists herself around to face me with a look of confusion. "Mac, your life has changed now."

"Well it wasn't that exciting before," I gently smirk and her lips curl.

"You always worked before, that was your after work life. This is a beautiful change."

"But it's boring?"

"Twister? Trust me that wouldn't be boring."

I have to laugh as my mind instantly wants to picture Stella and I playing twister, her body pressed up against mine before I finally show her what I should have a few years back.

"I enjoyed tonight Mac, more than you might know."

"That's my weekly routine."

"Well with Cameron in bed so early what do you do with the rest of your night?"

"Sit and think," I offer weakly and Stella gently laughs.

"That is a dangerous thing for you Mac."

"So I've been told. But I guess with all that has been going as of late it's a good thing right?"

"Only if you are dwelling on positive thoughts. The rest can be dangerous."

"I guess I read or...just um...I'm alone."

I look down at my hands that are now being held in Stella's and have to smile as her fingers start to gently massage my hands, her movements are firm but tempting and I look at her but offer no words. She looks at me and says nothing in return, our eyes locked in a knowing embrace.

Stella snuggles in closer, her head now on my shoulder, my core starting to heat as her fingers continue to massage my hand, small shivers still being felt down to my toes.

"I like this, you being here with me...right now," I confess as I twist my head and kiss the top of hers. "Very much."

"I do too, Mac. Very much."

"So um have you picked out a place for Friday night?"

"It's a surprise," Stella tells me and I gently frown. "As I said before, nice try with the sad face."

"I am not sad," I tell her in truth as she twists herself around to face me. "You make me happy. You always did. I just lost focus of that for a time. I just wanted to make you happy."

Stella's hand places itself on my cheek allowing her to guide my lips to hers, her other hand now around the back of my neck, ensuring my lips are held captive as she hungrily devours them. My fingers get lost in curls once again, my other hand firmly placed on her back as I pull her soft body into mine once more. And while I know I need to keep my need for her under control as it's not the time or place to beg for a much needed sexual release, I am going to enjoy as much as I can in this moment.

Her body presses deeper into mine her tongue slowly pushing past my teeth and starting to gently invade the warm crevices of my mouth, forcing whatever moans my lips can elicit for her listening pleasure.

"Oh I missed you Mac," Stella whispers as her fingers snake through my hair and she gently sucks on my sensitive lobe. I know if I allow her actions to continue, I'll be in an embarrassing situation, so I quickly guide her lips back and keep them locked with mine as I hungrily taste them.

Her back arches into mine and my ears take much delight in her own pleasurable moans at my hungry actions.

"Stella I need...oh god I need you..." I gently beg as I keep her body trapped against mine. I close my eyes and rest my forehead against hers our lips finally part. "But I know we can't...not right now."

"Mac..."

"I know, Stella, I know," I whisper as I slowly open my eyes and look at her in torment. "I got carried away. Just felt so good."

"I was just as carried away Mac, I have been waiting for forever for you to kiss me like that," she confesses and my mind eases a little. "And you didn't disappoint," she finishes and my face lights up once again.

"I wish you could stay but..."

"We'll have time Mac. I understand that you want the best for Cameron and so do I, that's why I'm not mad."

"I'm glad to hear that because I was worried."

"Why?"

"Looking back I didn't think this would be the kind of future I'd offer myself, much less anyone I really cared about," I start as I look down at my hands.

"Trust me Mac, I didn't think either one of us would be here right now. It's a new situation for both of us."

"You always make it sound easy."

"And yet I know its not. I know family life takes hard work. Just from observing you today...I mean wow Mac, you get up early, spend some time with him, work hard all day, come home at night, make supper, play with him, read to him and then..."

"Shower?"

"Yeah that," Stella smiles. "Thanks for putting my mind back in the gutter."

"Me and Cameron puts your mind in the gutter? Hardly."

"You in the shower does," she states, kissing me on the cheek. "But I have to hand it to you; you make it all look almost easy."

"My mother helps a lot."

"But Mac you are still doing it all on your own and I for one am amazed and proud. And now I want to be a part of that."

"I want that also."

I look over at her and smile, my arm gently wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her closer, Stella's head once again rests on my shoulder as my lips elicit a contented sigh of happiness.

"Never used to like quiet," I mention softly. "But now I don't mind."

"I envy that. I still hate the silence I am greeted with each night."

"Oh don't get me wrong, I do love the sound of his laughter and when he's talking away; watching cartoons or playing with my mother but...but this is nice."

"Relaxing?"

"Relaxing after dinner with um..." my voice trails off as my lips elicit a heavy sigh.

"Mac?"

"My family," I finally admit and Stella looks at me in wonder. "I guess like you, I am not expecting anything other than just to hear it be said."

"Was nice to hear."

"But?"

"Mac?"

"Stella, I hear a but in there by the tone of your voice. Do you not want this? I mean I know I am probably rushing things by even saying something like that but..."

"Almost afraid to believe its real Mac. I have wanted a real family all my life; right from when I was denied one at two."

"And Cameron isn't really yours, I get it," I huff as I look away with a heavy frown.

"You are jumping to conclusions again."

I look back at her in misery, my eyes once again locked with hers and searching for any kind of inner salvation.

"I adore your son Mac."

"But it sounds so cold when you say _your_ son."

"You know we can't change that."

"I wish..." I start only to have her gently cover my mouth and stop my words. She looks at me with a playful smile and I just shake my head.

"I will remove my hand if you stop with the self defeating comments about the past. I wish I could change what I did also, but I can't. Cameron is _your_ son and I can't change that and neither can you. And while I would like to contemplate a step parent role, I also don't want to rush _you_ into anything you might not be ready for."

I gently remove her hand and just as she's spoken her last word, I pull her closer and plant a warm but firm kiss on her inviting lips; pulling back with a warm smile.

"I have been waiting two years to invite you into this...well whatever it is I have here with me and Cameron; you and only you. I want you to be a part of it; I always did, just didn't know how you'd react before when I told you. But now that you are here I want to make sure you know that's what I want for us. I am not saying it has to be tomorrow, I'm just saying it."

"Thank you for saying it," she whispers softly as she tastes my lips once more, her mouth lingering on my lower lip as she finally pulls back, forcing my lips to offer another soft moan of delight at the soft sucking motion. "And what's wrong with tomorrow?" She whispers and I just smile.

"Nothing at all. Just..."

"Mac, I too look forward to the time when I won't have to leave. When we can put him in his own bed and then just linger in our own."

"Really like the sound of that," I tell her in truth. "But I guess we have a few other details we need to work out," I sigh.

"Yeah just a few and work is one of them," Stella states in truth.

"I guess living in Jersey and working in Manhattan is a bit of a mind bender."

"Mac, I carry a gun. Me and road rage, not a good combo," she teases and I have to lightly chuckle.

"Scary thought. But I guess on that note, I should let you leave."

Stella glances over at the clock and then looks at me with a knowing glance; it's late and she needs to leave.

"I wish it was you staying here and me going home."

"Mac?"

"I just worry."

"I drove the Avalanche so I'll be fine," she tries to assure me but I my mind still worries about her going home alone.

"But..."

"I'll be fine," she smiles as she plants one more kiss on my lips before pulling back and then regrettably pushing herself up off the couch; the side of my body where she left, instantly cooling. With a heavy sigh I push myself up off the couch and follow after her, helping her with her coat and then pulling her back against me for another lasting hug.

"Next time, we'll come to you."

"I'd like that," she admits in truth.

"At least text me when you get home and are safely locked inside?"

"I will. I'll see you Friday."

"You will. I'll be there at seven. Is that enough time?"

"Mac, I'll probably be ready at six," she retorts and I just smirk. "Like a teenager getting ready for their first date."

"I am buying dinner."

"You have no say and if I have to keep you in handcuffs I will," she flirts and I look at her with a timid grin. "Oh trust me Taylor, you'd like it too."

"Very much," I smile as I pull her close once more and silence her next words with another firm kiss. "Goodnight." She offers me a goodnight in return and then heads into the hallway. I walk her to the elevator and we make small talk about tomorrow and then she gets inside, blows me a kiss and is gone. I turn around to see my mother standing in the doorway with a warm smile on her face.

"Well?"

"Think it's too soon to ask her to marry me?" I ask with a weak frown as I near my mother who simply touches my face and smiles in return.

"McCanna, this time you have to follow your heart. When the time is right, you'll know what to do."

"I should have asked four years ago."

"I'm glad you had such a great night; think you're smile will fade overnight?"

"No."

"That's what I like to hear from my boy," she offers in truth. "Goodnight." I offer her a knowing nod and then watch as she heads inside and then I do the same, gently locking the door, turning off the lights and heading to my bedroom to change. While I wait for Stella's text, I lean against the doorframe of my son's room and watch him at peace. Her words, _'look forward to the time when we can put him in his bed and linger in ours,'_ I think will carry me through until Friday.

"Soon Cameron. Soon I'll be able to give you the family you deserve," I whisper as I hear my blackberry buzz to life and hurry to answer it.

_'Mac, you can go to sleep now, I am not only tucked inside my apartment, but almost in bed with happy dreams of you to fill my head. See you on Friday. Love Stella.'_

I want more than anything to call her right now and tell her I love her; something I should have said many many years ago, but I want it to be face to face. I want her in my life; as my wife and Cameron's mother. I need her and I dont need anything else. And as I ease myself into bed, thoughts of me finally declaring my love for the only woman in my heart carry me into the night; into a solid night's rest, long after I have whispered goodnight, her name the last word to leave my lips.

* * *

As I suspected, my mind was filled with dreams of me and Mac playing a very adult game of twister on his living room floor. I wake up with a smile, my face a bit flushed as I finally pull myself from my dream just as Mac and I are about to consummate what I hope is becoming something serious. I tell myself that I just need to get through today and then I'll spend the rest of tomorrow acting like a stupid teenager instead of a full grown adult.

"I take it dinner went well?" Lindsay queries as I head into the lab an hour later, a new case begging for my attention.

"Very well," I reply with a firm nod.

"I sense hesitation," Lindsay is quick to pick up on.

"Just so different now. Mac I mean. Seeing him after work and...it just humanizes him somehow. I know that might sound stupid but...but it was also comforting. Never felt comforting before."

"Maybe it's time you did," Lindsay squeezes my hand as Adam and Haylen walk back into the room, eager to get started on the new task at hand.

"Trust me Linds if he asked me right now you know I'd say yes."

"Can I call him and tell him that?"

"No." I offer Lindsay a brief smile before I launch into the task at hand; my mind trying to concentrate on the evidence in my fingers instead of wondering what Mac is doing right now. Thankfully the case is more complex than I thought and my mind is instantly where it should be. However, as soon as I head for my office to take a much needed break a few hours later, Mac is on my mind once again.

I slump down into my chair and gaze at the time. "Move faster damn it," I order the clock with a half laugh. But just as I am about to get up my phone rings and my lips curl into a smile as Mac's name suddenly appears.

"Hello handsome," I greet and am rewarded with a gentle laugh on the other end. For a split second, my brain wonders if he's calling to cancel tomorrow night, telling me that something else has come up but thankfully he puts my mind at ease a few seconds later.

"Busy?" He queries.

"Busy wondering what you're up to," I counter and I can actually hear his smile on the other end of the line. "How is life on the other side of the world?"

"Lonely without you here," he admits softly.

"Where are you?"

"I have a very quiet office," Mac confesses.

"Quiet lab?"

"Sometimes. And sometimes it's a bit too much," he huffs. "I just called because I had a few minutes and I um...well I have no friendly doorframe to lean on."

"Mine is always available," I whisper in reply, a small lump forming in my throat. "How is your day?" I ask before we can both drown in melancholy thoughts.

"Hectic. Was in this morning at six," he sighs. "Wasn't sure if my son or my mother would kill me first."

"Six? Sounds like the old Mac Taylor," I tell him, leaving out the part that in the past I would have been right at his side, sometimes even earlier. "Well then you can envy me, I was in half hour later."

"You know a half hour extra sleep these days is something I'd pay a month's salary to actually get hold of."

We banter back and forth for a few minutes about, well really mindless chatter, but it just felt so good to hear his smooth tone on the other end of the line, I never wanted to hang up. Sadly I looked up and saw Sheldon at the window and knew I had to say goodbye, at least for now.

"I should let you go," Mac finally states, as if being able to see into the very room I was in.

"Yeah Sheldon is giving me the dead man's stare," I mention and he chuckles once more. "See you tomorrow night?"

"I will be there at six thirty," Mac promises before he hangs up.

"I'll be waiting," I promise before I hang up.

"How's Mac?" Sheldon inquires as I head toward him with an obvious smile.

"What makes you think that was Mac I was talking to?"

"Stella, no one else could make you smile like that," Sheldon observes in truth.

"He's fine," I reply as I follow him to the lab. And once again as I try to focus my mind on the case at hand, I find myself wondering what the rest of Mac's day will be like and how tomorrow will all play out. _'I'll be there at six thirty,'_ were the words that carried me through the rest of the day and into the evening.

After rushing through my modest dinner, I stood before my closet for what seemed like forever, wanting to pick out the perfect outfit for our first official date. I'm sure Mac will wear a suit.

"Will he wear a tie?" I can't help but ponder. "And what color? He always liked green on me but then blue is his favorite color."

I offer myself a small laugh as I feel like a teenager going on her first real date instead of a grown woman trying to rekindle romance that I know I share with an amazing man. I finally reach for a dress and hurry to try it on; wanting more than anything for tomorrow night to be perfect.

Another hour later, I finally settle on an outfit I hope Mac likes and then head into the bathroom to have a hot bath to soothe my nerves.

"And after dinner? What happens then?"

* * *

"So tomorrow night huh," Flack comments as he slumps down in the chair in front of my desk. Unlike the rest of my team, Flack is the only one privy to my private dealings with Stella and well to be honest, all the private affairs of my life. I had told myself with this team that I wouldn't drag them into all this sordid mess when and if things ever got back to the point where I would have to engage my old team. Thankfully the few cases that we have had to share with the NYPD I was able to assign Riley as the lead investigator and work the rest from behind the scenes. So far it's worked. But as I hear Stella mention the old team, something inside does start to tug at my heart and I wonder as Stella and I draw closer if I'll be tempted to step foot back in the old lab. Take my old job back?

"Mac?"

"Sorry lost in thought," I offer with a slight grimace.

"Thinking about your date?" He teases. "Knowing Stella she's probably already picked out what to wear."

"She'd look good in anything," I mumble as my brain now wonders what I'll show up in.

"Okay why do you look worried? This is Stella, Mac. Not some stranger that you'll have to start right from the painful beginning with."

"It's not the date part that worries me. It's what happens afterwards."

"Mac, sex is like riding a bike. I mean you never really forget how to...you know..."

"Not what I meant wise ass," I throw at him and he laughs. "I mean the day after or..."

"You know you always do that...think to far in advance. You should just be concentrating on what you'll be wearing tomorrow and trying to enjoy the night."

"I know you're right. How are you?"

"Surviving," Flack retorts with a heavy sigh. "Emily asked me out again."

"She's persistent if anything. Too soon?" I ask, knowing how my other CSI Emily Chan had fancied Flack from day one.

"Well if it's not too soon for you then..."

"Don't you dare gauge your life on what I'm doing," I gently warn and he nods his head. "I guess I'll tell you what you told me; when you're ready you'll know, but Emily is a pretty solid woman."

Flack looks at me in knowing and finally offers a small smile before he pushes himself up to take his leave. "I want the details on Monday."

"You'll have em."

I watch him leave and then quickly finish up what I am doing and then head for home, my mind now wondering what tomorrow will actually hold. I turn the key and take delight as always when Cameron runs into my arms, hugs me tightly and plants a warm kiss on my waiting cheek.

"Daddy. I missed you!" He states warmly as I haul him into the air and gently swing him around, my ears delighting in his infectious laughter once again.

"Careful or you'll make him sick," my mother warns me as she helps me lower him to the floor. Cameron makes a funny face before he gives into his dizziness and falls to the floor, looking up at me with a goofy grin and I can't help but smile. I take off my coat and then head into my bedroom to get changed but pause as I see a box waiting for me on the bed.

"Before you get too excited, it's from me," my mother states and I look at her with a wondering glance. "For tomorrow."

I quickly open the box and stare at a brand new dark blue dress shirt and rather modern looking light and dark blue striped tie. "I am grateful but I have clothing to wear," I insist with a small smile.

"Nothing new and this is so you can make a good first impression on the woman you love and on your first official "_adult_" date."

"Why when you say the word _adult _does it sound sordid?" I tease.

"Because most kids don't think their parents know they have sex," Millie laughs. "Speaking of which...just in case you finally decide to act on your feelings, Cameron will be staying with me for the night."

"It's too soon to..."

"Wait and see what happens. Why are you so nervous?"

"I feel like a teenager," I smirk and she gently pats my cheek.

"In many ways you are my son," she states warmly before she leaves my room. "And remember to wear some cologne."

I just shake my head as I hear the door close and know it's just me and Cameron now. Just as I finish changing, he comes running into the room and tackles me, forcing me backward onto the bed and starts to dig his tiny fingers into my sides; forcing some much needed laughter into the room. I gently wrestle with him for a few minutes, allowing him to get the upper hand a few times before turning the tables.

"Time for supper," I tell Cameron as I gather his still squirming frame into my grasp and head into the living room. I deposit him onto the couch before heading into the kitchen to get ready for dinner. As much as I want my mind to dwell on what Stella will look like when she first opens the door tomorrow, I force myself to give my time and attention to Cameron where needed; telling myself that Stella will look beautiful no matter what.

Cameron chatters on about his day but already I miss Stella sharing the dinner table with us. I had more than wanted to see her greeting me as I came through the door but am glad that neither my mother nor my son picked up on my veiled disappointment.

I wonder if she'd be happy if we just dropped by next week? I would have to tell her or I could just bring dinner with us? Or maybe I should wait to see what happens after our date tomorrow. After supper Cameron brings me his new favorite reading book, the book Stella bought for him and we snuggle into the couch for our nightly session. Cameron once again proves to me that he's the bright boy I know he is and I have to marvel as his reading skills have improved. I wonder if Stella will want to know or even hear about mundane stuff that I find fulfilling. Or will she say she will and but not really mean it? _Stella isn't going to play with your mind or heart for something to do,_ my mother's voice sharply reminds me. After we finish I put Cameron to bed and then wander into my own, wishing Stella was already waiting for me. However, I give my head a much needed shake and try to calm my now growing nervous anxiety about what I'll wear tomorrow.

The morning comes all too quickly and before I know it, I'm rushing out the door, coffee in hand, eager to get the day started so that I can end it even faster. Thankfully two cases come in at the same time and so between shuffling between each scene, the day just zooms by and finally five thirty rolls around and it's time to head back home. After a quick shower and shave I reach for the new items my mother bought for me; Cameron on my bed playing, once again proving her right. No matter the fact that she's in the other room, where I am, my son wants to be also.

"Are you going to be a good boy for Gramma tonight?"

"Yah," Cameron replies absently, looking at me with a frown.

"I am going out with Stella tonight," I tell him as I fix my tie and delight as his face smiles upon the mention of her name. "Would you like to see Stella again?"

"YES!" He exclaims, happily clapping his hands and forcing my grin to widen. I kiss the top of his head and lead him back out to my waiting mother.

"Just be yourself," my mother reminds me and I just shake my head. "Did you take your heart medication?"

"Pardon?"

"Well correct me if I'm wrong but it has been sometime since you saw Stella in...well something other than a pants suit."

"I'll be fine," I tell her as she gives me a warm hug.

"And if you see her naked?" She laughs.

"Mot-her," I huff and she laughs.

"Tell her hello from me and Cameron."

"I will," I reply, taking a deep breath.

"If you are this nervous for just a date, will you even survive when you ask her to marry you?" My mother smiles and I just look at her in shock. "Get going already."

I finally take my leave and head outside into the waiting SUV; which had been cleaned the night before, not wanting to take her in a cab. The ride over my mind tries to push aside my mother's last words about marriage. It's too soon for that, I insist in my brain; my heart arguing another point, one I am trying not to listen to right now. I reach Stella's apartment and sit outside for a few minutes, trying to get my heart rate to slow to normal. I finally get it to where it needs to be, at least I think so, and head inside. I'm glad I stopped and bought a dozen red roses as I think it lends itself to the whole first date notion.

I knock on the door and wait, hearing her musical voice calling to me as footsteps near. She opens the door and my heart literally skips a beat.

"Hello Mac."

"Wow."

* * *

**A/N**: Well date night is next. How do you think that will go? Please review and let me know.

**PS**: Okay so the next update for this was going to be Dec 24th x-mas eve day (would be up in the morning). Will anyone want to read on that day or should I wait for the following week? Please let me know in your review and THANKS! Let me know b/c I will be on the site in the morning so I would love to post if you want to read.

**PSS**: No updates tomorrow (sunday) but watch for a special 'winter' themed one shot for the official start of winter on monday! Have a SMexy weekend everyone!


	10. Reservations for 2, Confessions for 1

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 10 - Reservations for Two, Confessions for One**

**A/N 1:** Due to a few personal setbacks my holiday plans changed so that means AiP will not be going anywhere this holiday season so I'll be able to get lots of updates done for you all to enjoy, b/c I love writing more than anything and making you happy makes me happy! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

**A/N 2:** Okay so when I posted chapter 9 when this site was acting stupid and I tried to review reply through the system and I am hoping it worked. I hope that everyone received my usual thanks for reading and leaving a review, but if the site didn't allow a reply and you were missed then I humbly apologize and will reply this time as I usually do. Thank you all so much and hopefully you like this one just as much as you all wanted this update today!

* * *

"Wow," I whisper, almost speechless, "you look beautiful," I offer in downplayed praise. She's wearing a dark blue cocktail dress that hits just about the knee, her hair is up and whatever perfume she's wearing has an instant effect on certain body parts; yeah like they needed stimulation in the first place. Damn sometimes, I hate being a guy!

I stand transfixed in time, unable to move or utter more coherent words. My mothers words, while humorous at the time now ring loud and clear in my brain, _have you taken your heart medication? I mean it's been a while since you've seen her in anything other than a pants suits right?_ And if she looks this amazing now fully clothed and I am fortunate to spend the night, will I actually recover when I finally see her naked? At least I'll die a happy man.

"Mac?"

"Sorry...just rendered speechless. You look amazing," I whisper and her face warms.

"Thank you."

XXXXXXXX

When I had first started getting ready, I had assumed Mac would look as handsome tonight as he always does dressed in a suit for work and to me was always handsome no matter what. But when I opened the door and saw him standing before me, dressed to the nines, my heart melted.

"You look pretty handsome yourself," I offer in praise and his lips curl into a warm smile. He's wearing a dark navy suit with, I'm assuming a dark navy dress shirt and a funky striped tie that just seems to make his blue eyes spring to life. "New tie?" I ask with an arched brow.

"My mother bought it for me," he admits in a soft tone. "Said I needed to make a good first impression for my first official '_adult'_ date."

"She was right," I tell him in truth as he offers me a dozen long stem red roses.

"These are for you and are from me. No coaxing needed," he gently teases.

I take the roses and can't help but lean in and plant a warm thank you kiss on his cheek, allowing my senses to drink in his warm scent and I know if we don't leave soon, both of us will be on the floor, having hot sex. "You smell good," I whisper into his ear. Just as I turn to leave, he gently grasps my arm and forces my eyes back to his.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For agreeing to tonight."

"Mac, I asked you."

"Oh right," his brow gently furrows. "I have wanted this for a long time. And I know I wasn't..." he starts only to have me quickly silence him with a warm kiss, our faces now inches apart.

"It was my turn," I tell him in truth before I turn and head into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water. Mac hovers in the doorway and my nervousness starts to grow once again. Why the hell am I so nervous? _Get a grip, I tell myself firmly. It's just Mac! A different Mac, one you know you love and want more from than a one night stand!_ I do want more, I want to be his wife and Cameron's step mother; I want the life I always dreamed of since a little girl, the one I was denied. I want that more than anything else in the world.

"Stella?" His warm voice breaks my thoughts. "You still want to go right?"

I turn to face him with a warm smile as my fingers rest on his cheek. "I can hardly wait. Let me get my shoes."

"Are those new?" Mac inquires about the black stiletto's I am putting on.

"Yes. I bought them to make a good first impression for my first official 'adult' date," I counter as I stand back up to face him eye to eye. "Is it working?"

"You had me at hello. But yes they are pretty great," he whispers and I can't help but offer a wide smile in return. He helps me with my coat and soon we are outside and heading toward his SUV, my arm held firmly in his. "So where are you taking me?" He asks and I gently laugh. "What?"

"Like the way you ask that. You sound lost and then I can't help but want to take you home and..." my voice trails off as we reach the SUV.

"Stella?"

"Mac, if I continue then we'll never make it to the restaurant."

"Kinda like the sound of that," he lightly smiles as we get into his freshly cleaned Ford Escape. I give him the name of the restaurant and he looks at me in wonder.

"What is it Mac?"

"It seems like I have been waiting for forever to get to this place; right now. Where you and I are on an official date."

"Have also been waiting for this for a long time as well," I tell him as I give his hand a small squeeze.

Thankfully instead of arguing about how expensive this place will be, Mac nods his head and we are on our way. We make small talk about our case load for the week; but instead of sharing interesting or funny anecdotes about our respective teams, we talk mostly about the cases themselves and the outcomes. I want Mac to feel comfortable about his old team and never made an issue when he asked about the team but simply answered his questions and prayed he'd continue asking about them. He was kinda surprised about Adam and Haylen but I think his tone was more of relief, probably cementing in his mind that if he did return, there would be nothing awkward between Adam and myself as both of us have visibly moved on; Mac seemed settled by that notion and it was me who was relieved I think more than he.

"They miss you Mac."

"Some days, I miss them also," he had stated and my heart warmed. I wanted more than anything to keep pressing but thought better not press my luck. He has to feel like he's the one returning on his own merit; not me forcing him. But damn it can't happen soon enough!

We finally reach the upscale restaurant and I feel Mac's body stiffen next to mine and I can't help but wonder as to the reason. _Did he come here with another woman? Did he not want to come here at all? Is he just nervous being on a date? Or is it something more?_ Finally, mostly to put myself out of my damn misery, I ask.

"You okay?"

"Not used to wearing a tie," he admits, his fingers nervously fixing it again.

"Well I think makes you look very handsome," I whisper in his ear, gently brushing the tender skin with my warm lips and forcing his to curl into a smile. "Is that it?"

"Haven't been to a place like this...well ever and um...yes just that. I'm happy I'm here with you."

"Me too."

We are shown to a small private booth and both sit down, my anxiety once again starting to build. I look at Mac and offer a weak smile as my fingers nervously fidget with whatever is within reach. Then much to my delight and surprise, Mac's warm hand covers over mine and my anxiety subsides.

"I guess this is also new ground for us," he mentions in a warm tone, his face creased into a gentle frown.

"You know we were so used to working around each other that I don't think we ever stopped to contemplate what might happen..."

"If we wanted to take things to the next level," Mac finishes, looking at me in uncertainty. "Are we at the next level?"

"I think we are a few passed that," I tell him and he smiles, nodding his head in agreement. I study his face, my eyes drowning in the warm sapphire pools before me.

"What do you want to ask? I mean it Stella, anything."

"When you first got Cameron, I mean that night...I know it's hard for you to talk about it and I wanted to wait at least, well I guess a week...damn it," my voice trails off as my eyes drop. "Is it too soon?" I ask without looking up.

"I would have told you the very next day if you would have asked. I just figured you didn't want to know."

"I want to know everything," I tell Mac in truth.

"Everything?" He arches his brows. "Wow okay..." he starts with a sigh and I just laugh as I pat his arm.

"Mac, not all at once. I am just curious as to what you did with Cameron that first night you got him."

The waiter comes and takes our appetizer and drink order, the night ahead long and unhurried, affording us the opportunity to just talk and eat at our leisure.

"I remember looking at him and seeing myself," Mac starts, his fingers gripping mine a little tighter than I had expected but since I was the one who forced this painful confession it was my duty to help him in any way I could; this was one way. "I remember shaking my head and telling myself this was a mistake and that the papers in my hands were false and that any second, Don or someone would come back and tell me it was a big joke or something like that. But as the night wore on I knew Anna wasn't coming back and Cameron was with me for good. He eventually stopped crying and then just sat and looked at me in wonder."

"Did he ask for his mother?" I wonder softly.

"Almost non stop; my answers never sufficed and I didn't expect them to. Finally he stopped asking and after about an hour of silence called me daddy," Mac's lips pause as they curl into a warm smile, his eyes almost wet. "That one word and that did it for me. I asked him if he was hungry and he just shook his head no and I asked him if he was tired and he said yes. Well I had the spare room but it was full of well...stuff, so I put him in my bed and he was out in an instant. I remember standing over him, looking down and just watching; seeing myself so alone and helpless, asleep in a strange bed."

My hand grasps Mac's once more and I watch him take a good swallow.

"Stella, my heart broke a million times that night. I was afraid to move; afraid if I walked away, even into the other room that I'd come back and he'd be gone. I just couldn't move. I watched him a bit longer before I finally got my brain to work again and knew I had to change my future plans to um...to include him. He had nothing...well not nothing but...Anna had left a small knapsack of clothes, two pairs of shoes, a book and a few toys, but that was it; the rest I had to get on my own."

Mac pauses once again and looks at me with a sad smile.

"Mac I..."

"I'm okay," he assures me in haste. "Actually it feels good to talk to you about this. I know you have um...well missed all this and," he stops and looks down. I carefully raise his eyes to look at mine and lean in and plant a loving kiss on his cheek.

"I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I want to hear, no matter how painful for me. But if it's too painful for you then you stop okay? I want us to enjoy tonight. No regrets."

XXXXXXXX

Hearing Stella offer that small bit of reassurance made the world of difference and motivated me to want to continue.

"I promise Stella. No regrets. Okay where was I? Right...I felt odd about undressing him, especially after I just met him so I put him into my bed as is and then after I was tired of standing I gathered his knapsack, held it firmly in my arms and sat down in the doorway and just watched him until my mother arrived a few hours later. He looked so...so innocent and lost, sleeping all alone in that large bed and I just um...I wish I had called you," I finally stop and look at her with a tormented expression. "Damn I wish I called you first!"

"I wish you had too," she admits and I can only nod.

"My mother arrived and then I told her the whole story. She started to cry as I had expected but when she saw...well myself sleeping in that bed, her grandson, she instantly changed. I took the couch that night but didn't sleep for even one minute; my mother had taken the air mattress in the spare bedroom and put it down beside my bed, beside Cameron, but she didn't sleep much either. The next morning when Cameron awoke he looked at me and started to cry, once again asking for his mother. I tried to tell him that she was gone and that I was his father and he would be living with me now, but he didn't understand. So all day, he sat by the door and cried and it killed me not to be able to do anything. I felt so helpless," I choke and Stella's fingers firmly grip mine, my eyelids trying to keep tears at bay. "I thought he hated me."

"Mac, I'm sorry...please stop," she lightly whispers as my eyes water. "I can't take seeing you like this."

"Stella I'm..."

"We can talk later."

"I don't mind, I...I need to tell you this. I have been keeping it inside for so long. Please?"

"Until you can't any longer."

So with a firm nod of my head, I press on, wanting to tell her the whole story now that it was started.

"I stayed with Cameron, mostly watching him. I mean I had never been a parent and never spent a lot of time around children; I didn't know what to do. But we needed things so my mother was assigned that task. She had spent the whole day with my VISA while I cleaned out the spare room; Cameron never leaving the front door," I finally add with some humor, feeling my mood lift a little. "She bought him a bed, dresser, oodles of toys and books; basically I was broke after that," I smirk and Stella's grasp loosens a little. "And came home with an arm full of boy's new clothing and myriad of delivery slips. She had brought some paint chips for his room and a few bedroom layouts from Home Depot and we got to work. I remember her sitting down beside him, telling him she was his grandmother and that she was going to help look after him. She told him there was a plate of food on the table for him and some toys and he could go to them whenever he wanted. I would have been lost without her."

"You know despite the fact that I um...well wasn't there," Stella interjects. "I'm glad you had her. I'm glad that...well yes this is selfish but I'm glad that if it wasn't me that it was her and only her."

I look at her in surprise and she nods her head as our first course arrives.

"Really?"

"Yes really Mac."

"I don't think it's selfish at all," I tell her in truth as my fingers tighten around hers.

"Do you want to tell me more?" She wonders.

"I do. I want you to know everything," I admit as we both start to slowly enjoy our food between confessions. "Cameron had finally pushed himself up from the floor and headed to the table. My mother and I had been in his soon to be bedroom, cleaning it out and stuff and I remember coming into the kitchen and slowly sitting down beside him, just watching. My mother scolded me for making him nervous, but I was curious. He finally looked up and offered a soft smile and my heart melted once again. _Daddy do you ...ant some_? He had asked and I think I nearly fainted," I pause with a smirk and look at Stella who is finally smiling once again.

"The rest of the day he spent at the table playing with his toys. But at night he would sit by the door and cry for his mother until he passed out and I put him in his bed. I called in sick on the following Monday so that I could get everything finished and by the end of Monday my old apartment ceased to exist. The following Tuesday nearly killed us both as my mother said Cameron screamed for me nearly all morning and the super had to come and make sure all was okay. So I had to take that week as holidays; citing family troubles as the reason and I spent it with Cameron. By Tuesday night however, another problem arose."

"What kind of problem?" Stella inquires.

XXXXXXXX

"He needed a bath of some sorts," Mac continued and I had to smile. "Of course I had never been a parent and didn't know the protocol about well seeing um...children naked and such so I was at a real loss. My mother simply said to ask him if he wanted a bath or a shower. Seemed odd but I did."

"What did he say?" I ask in wonder.

"He said shower. I was surprised but my mother said that boys his age could have showers if that is what they were used to. So my mother told him she was going to turn on the warm water and close the curtain so he could have some privacy but that the main door would stay open in case he slipped or something. I asked him if he wanted me to help him and he said no and I had to respect that. So I laid out new pajamas and a fresh towel and let him do his thing. It was odd watching him do it alone and I just felt so helpless once again."

"Was he okay after that?"

"I told him that I showered every day to keep clean and said he should do the same. My mother told me that I need to talk to him like he's a boy instead of a baby and so I did that right away. He didn't understand at first and the following night he fought me so I had to let it go but the next night I didn't give in and he was okay with it. By the time Friday came he allowed me to sit inside the bathroom and help dry him off. It um..." Mac's voice trails off once more and I notice him swallow hard.

"Mac?"

"It was humbling Stella. To have this small boy that I now had to look after, ask me for help. I guess it just drew us closer. Silly right?"

"Hardly. More like heart warming," I tell him firmly.

"By the time Sunday morning came I was in the shower and much to my surprise he came and pushed the shower curtain open and wanted to have a shower with me. _Daddy can I shoer ...ith you_, he had asked in such a sad tone that my heart went out to him and I couldn't say no. Maybe I should have."

"Why?" I ask as I tell my brain not to picture Mac naked in the shower. It doesn't work and a few seconds later my face is flushed with naughty images of the handsome man before me.

"Well he started to ask um...well questions about his body and uh...yeah well..." Mac's voice trails off as he quickly takes a sip of wine and then looks back at me with a sheepish smile.

"About his small body parts?" I conclude and Mac nods his head yes.

"I was so embarrassed at first; thought I was doing something illegal by telling him how everything worked and what it was all used for," Mac pauses as he fiddles with his tie once more. I stop his fingers and he looks at me with a smirk. "Thankfully he only asked once."

"Just wait until he enters school," I tease. Then much to my surprise Mac says something, neither of us expected.

"That'll be your job as mother to tell him all that," Mac smiles and then stops and looks at me in surprise. "That is if you want that I mean..." he starts in a nervous panic only to have me lean over and kiss him quickly on the lips.

"I do what that," I whisper softly. "I want it all."

"Are you sure?"

"Mac, you had me at you in the shower," I wink and his face flushes.

"Right," he states with a small laugh. "Well after that I had to go back to work and explained to him what was going on. I immediately put in for no evenings or weekends; telling my superior that I was just prepping my team as I had done in Chicago. Thankfully he didn't question me at first."

"And how was Cameron?"

"He was pretty miserable the first few days, my mother told me, but there was nothing I could do, I had to work," Mac admits with a heavy sigh. "But a few days later he bounced back and allowed my mother to set up a daily routine of outings, naps and a few other things to help him get through the day until I was home to spend time with him each night until he went to sleep and then on the weekends."

"Well I personally think you have done an amazing job," I mention as I lean over and gently brush a stray crumb off his lower lip. "Amazing job."

Mac looks at me, his eyes once again locked with mine and I finally feel my own tension starting to ease and I pray his as well. We finish our appetizer but am not surprised when neither of us asks for a second glass of wine, opting for sparkling water instead.

"I don't drink much any more," my turn to confess as I look away. Mac's fingers touch mine, forcing my eyes upward once again.

"Neither do I. Tough lesson to learn right?"

"But a valuable one," I comment as my fingers start to play with his, the warmth from them starting to emanate between us once again; and I can't help but wonder if just this amount of touching generates this much heat, how much would full on full body contact generate? Would I even survive? Probably not.

"Well he seems pretty well adjusted now," I comment, not allowing the silence to build between us.

"He's a remarkable kid," Mac tells me with a warm smile of pride. "He's smart too."

"He's your son Mac. That's a given."

"Well I hope he does better in school than I did."

"I thought you did well?"

"Why do you think I joined the Marine's as soon as I graduated?" Mac counters and I lightly shake my head.

"Whatever you say _Mr. Modesty_," I tease and his face breaks into a warm smile once again. We both place our dinner orders, not even realizing that nearly an hour and half has already passed.

"After that I asked Cameron which colors he wanted for his room and we had fun painting it together. Well I did most of the work," Mac chuckles. "But I didn't care. I just loved spending time with him. At first it was tough and seemed almost like a burden."

"Why?"

"I guess because at first he really didn't want to be with me. He sure forced me to learn patience however. I couldn't just let my temper get the best of me as it wasn't his fault, part of it was mine. But after the first few weeks past by, it was much better and I loved spending time with him. I remember the first time I woke up to see him watching me..."

_'I had finally slept a few hours, Cameron's crying subsided long ago, allowing me a few extra hours of graceful solitude. However, when I opened my eyes, he was watching me in silence. His eyes wide, but his mouth offered no words._

_'Cameron?' I asked in concern as I quickly pulled myself from sleep. 'Everything okay?'_

_'Can't seep daddy,' he mumbled in misery._

_'Want to sleep with me?'_

_He simply nodded his head and then with my help climbed into bed beside me, curled up with his favorite teddy bear under the covers and was out like a light._

"I remember just watching him and thinking myself that he must really trust me or love me or whatever to even want to be that close to me that soon. I think it was just because he wasn't used to being alone so much as opposed to him wanting to be with me."

"Give him some credit Mac, he wanted to be with you."

"He was so small and I just watched, almost afraid to close my eyes or move as I didn't want to wake or hurt him in any way. His face was at peace and it was odd seeing myself...well beside me..." Mac's voice stops as he offers a slight smirk.

"Sounds adorable."

"Was unnerving at first. I remember when I first got the security gate so that he couldn't wander around by himself, in the event that he woke up before me. Heaven forbid he ever got out of the apartment and I didn't know. So I had put up the gate and the next morning he let me have it."

"What did he do?" I ask in wonder.

"He yelled until I finally stumbled out of bed and up to his side. I explained what it was for and then got one of those kid monitors and said if he woke up and wanted to be with me then he could call into it. My mother said I was being unreasonable, so it mostly stays open now. He's only broken one thing and thankfully it wasn't important or expensive but he felt bad; hard to handle when he cries, I just feel terrible," Mac stops and takes a deep breath before looking at me with a frown but doesn't say anything further.

"What?" I have to wonder.

"Aren't you tired of hearing me talk?" He asks in surprise as we start into our main meals. "I mean I have been talking non-stop."

"You know all about what I have done the past four years Mac and what I haven't told you, I'm sure Don has given you the rest of the boring details. Trust me I want to hear it all."

"Are you sure?"

"Mac, I have missed so much. Work is well work. I'm sure your lab functions as well...as well mine. I have told you about the team; now I want to know the stuff I can't guess," I admit in truth as I lean in a bit closer. "I want to know what I have missed for the past four years; the important stuff. The stuff about you and your son."

"But I thought we weren't going to rehash the past and..." Mac stops in confusion.

"We are not going to rehash what we personally did as in..."

"Ah right got it," Mac agrees in haste. "No point," he states and it's my turn to agree.

"No point at all. It's done. But your son...Mac I want to know all about him. I can't get that from anyone other than you; I want to know about Cameron."

Mac stops his actions, putting down his fork and once again wraps his fingers around mine and offers a small squeeze.

"Mac?"

"I can't explain how happy that I am here with you and how...how glad I am that you want to know about Cameron and aren't...aren't afraid to want to know him and have him a part of your life."

"That still bothers you doesn't it?" I ask and Mac nods his head. "Why?"

"Because I want this so badly."

"What, you and me?"

"A family Stella. A real family for all three of us," Mac pauses and looks at me directly, a small lump forming in my throat. "I don't want to lose that. I sometimes wonder if I'm pushing to hard and I'll lose it."

"I'm not going anywhere Mac, I promise."

"Stella I..."

"Mac?" I dare to ask, my heart racing as to what he might confess next.

"Stella, I have to tell you something important."

XXXXXXXX

My heart is racing so fast that I'm surprised I haven't passed out yet. For a brief second I wonder if my confession will be received in the way I hope it will be; but better to offer it now, rather than later and have her thinking I had an ulterior motive in mind.

"Mac?" Stella's voice asks in a soft whisper.

I take her hand and firmly hold it in mine before I lean in closer, my lips touching her cheek and whisper in her ear the words I should have said years ago, _"I love you, more than anything."_

I allow my face to linger by hers for a few seconds more, the heat from us continuing to grow. But when I pull back I notice Stella's green eyes glistening and her lips are curled into a warm smile. Before I can offer another word, her fingers gently wrap around the back of my neck and she rewards my confession with a firm but electric kiss; one that forced me right away to loosen my tie. With her face still attached to mine, she in turn offers me the words I have been begging to hear since I flew to Greece.

"I love you too Mac, with all my heart."

I finally pull back and allow blue to collide with green in a moment of heated passion before we finally break apart for good. The words, "check please," barely escaping my mouth fast enough. Stella just offers a small laugh as she squeezes my hand and my heart rate starts to slow.

"Let's stay for dessert Mac. Is that okay?"

I hadn't intended to offer such a heartfelt confession at the restaurant, wanting the spot to be a bit more private but my mother told me when the time was right I would know and act on it and I did just that. And no matter what happens later tonight, if anything, I hope that our emotional confessions are paving the way for a solid romantic relationship; one that we both know is long overdue.

"Did you still want dessert?"

"Chocolate covered Mac?" Stella teases and my face deepens in color. "Would like that very much."

"Okay," I reply with a nervous tone, her fingers still intertwined with mine.

"You pick," Stella tells me as she shoves the dessert menu into my hands.

"I'm not good at picking."

"Mac you picked lunch for us remember?"

"Right," I gently frown as I look at the menu. I finally gesture to the waiter, point to the item I want, asking for two spoons and two after dinner coffee's.

"So how is Don?" Stella finally asks as our coffees arrive a few minutes later and our hands are forced to break apart to attend to the steaming beverage.

"He's doing a lot better then when we first started working together. I think mostly it was an adjustment thing; new house, new partner, new team..." my voice trails off as I take a sip of the black liquid in my hands. "I know it's still hard on him. Why? Think he wants to go back? Did he ever say that to you?"

"He said he would if you would," she admits and I look at her in surprise.

"He said that?" I ask with arched brows and Stella nods her head. "I..."

"Mac, I'm not asking you to make a decision right now, you asked and so I'm telling you," she reminds me in haste as our dessert arrives. Stella looks at the chocolate creation that is placed before us and then at me with a wide grin.

"Next best thing?" I offer weakly as she takes the first spoonful and playfully brings it to my mouth, offering me the first taste. I open my mouth to taste it but after only having taken half, she quickly pulls the spoon away and kisses my mouth, licking away the chocolate and sending me into a panic that we'll be kicked out for such a public display of affection. Thankfully we didn't draw that much attention.

"Mmm chocolate covered Mac," she whispers and I can't help but smirk as I reach for my own spoon. I want to try the same but as I bring the piece of chocolate clad cutlery to her lips, my heart starts to race and I frown. However, her fingers gently encase mine and guide the spoon back to her mouth, letting me know she wants me to continue on my present course of action. I of course am only too happy to comply; taking much delight in tasting the sweet sludge off her lips before I quickly pull back, my face red.

"You're right, chocolate covered Stella is tasty," I confess in a low tone and she lightly giggles before she picks up her own spoon and we continue to eat the rest like two normal adults instead of two love struck teenagers.

"What is Cameron's favorite dessert?" Stella queries as we finish the rest of our dessert and then linger over whatever is left in our cups of coffee.

"Dibs," I answer and Stella wrinkles her nose as she chuckles. "We had gone to the park a few months back and it was warm and I wanted to reward him with something sweet. He picked out the small tub of Dibs and then a few minutes later they were gone and I'm sure you can guess what happened next?"

"He threw up?" Stella asks with an amused smile.

"Into the SUV," I reply as I remember the memory. "I was angry at first but mostly at myself for not stopping him. I quickly learned not to indulge his every request; no matter how much he insists. So after that I was a bit firmer and it's been okay ever since. But the ride back home was miserable for both of us, and yes I did clean the SUV before I went home," I add in haste. "I thought that would have been the last of it, but we were in the grocery store a few days later, in the frozen foods section when he runs to the ice cream area and grabs a large tub of Dibs."

"Chocolate or vanilla?" Stella wonders.

"Chocolate on chocolate," I answer with a smile as I remember the happy look on my son's face as he held the small tub up for me to purchase.

"Of course you couldn't say no."

"Couldn't say no," I admit in truth. "Sadly I ended up eating most of them on the way home and then spent the rest of the night with the worst case of indigestion I think I have ever known," I finish my story and she just laughs.

"Well I know what to keep in the fridge for dessert then," Stella tells me and I look at her in wonder. "That and Hungry Man right?"

"You spoiled us on Wednesday," I confess as I take her hand and firmly wrap mine around it. I stare at her fingers for about a minute, my mind working up the nerve to ask her if she wants to go back to her place and what she'll say. Yes right? I look up and her smile gives me the courage I need to continue.

"You want to leave right?" She asks and I simply nod my head, my lips starting to curl upward. "Well we have been here almost three hours."

"Really?" I ask in shock and it's her turn to nod in agreement. "Check please?" I ask the waiter as he passes by and Stella stifles a small laugh.

"Mac I'm paying remember," Stella insists and I just shake my head.

"You already bought dinner for me and Cameron on Wednesday," I remind her as I take the bill and quickly pull out my wallet.

"Mac..."

"Next time Stella," I insist and she can do little more than shake her head at my actions.

XXXXXXXX

"You and your old fashioned chivalry Mac."

"You love it don't you."

"I love you, so yes I love it," I tell him in truth. "But next time you better leave it at home," I gently warn and he laughs.

When Mac told me he loved me, my heart I think stopped for a few seconds until those few precious words were uttered. I had been waiting it seems like forever for him to confess how he feels and I knew I had to justify my own feelings in return. I do love him more than anything and wanted him to know; but I also wanted him to tell me so that I wouldn't be forcing him to a level he might not be ready for. I watch him pay the bill, but when he looks up at me his face is telling me something new.

The look in Mac's eyes right now is one of pure hungry desire; a look I'm sure my eyes are offering him in return. I know he wants something more than a good night kiss, and I'd be lying if I said my body wasn't aching for his right now. But what about his son? I can't just assume that his mother will take him for the night or that Mac will even want to stay the entire night. But as we get our coats and Mac's hand rests on the small of my back as we exit the restaurant, I know that something more than a good night kiss will be put on the table.

We reenter the small SUV and Mac's warm scent is finally allowing my brain to act on what I wasn't able to in the restaurant. As he starts up the engine and allows it to warm up a bit, I gently lean over and press my lips to his ear. "Bad boy dinner was supposed to be on me," I whisper. But before he can answer I cover his mouth with mine and plant a warm firm kiss on his inviting lips. "Just reminding you," I smile as I pull back, almost out of breath.

"Next time," is all he can seem to manage and I have to gently smirk as he pulls us back into traffic, heading for home and maybe more than just a passionate token in parting.

"Well thanks for dinner," I offer as I take his free hand and hold it in mine.

"You know I have always wanted to go there," Mac confesses.

We talk a bit more about what places Cameron likes to eat and I notice the drive back to my place seems to take less time than I had expected. By the time Mac brings the SUV to a stop in front of my apartment my heart is already racing in anticipation. But then much to my surprise Mac just gets out without asking and heads around to my door and holds it open for me. I get out and wrap my arm around his waist, his arm returning the favor pulling me tight against his body as we head inside; in silence.

Once inside the elevator I chance a sideways glance but he doesn't look at me, his eyes kept forward but his lips automatically curl into a warm smile. I lean in closer and kiss his cheek and he finally looks at me with a warm smile as the elevator comes to a stop on my floor.

We get out and slowly walk for my door and my heart is about to explode. And while I would like more than anything to be going to sleep each night with Mac in my bed, I want to wake up tomorrow with him in my arms. I pull out my key and shove it in the lock before turning to him with a hungry smile as my fingers start to gently tug at the knot in his tie, his lips already curling upward as one hand reaches behind me and turns the key until a click is heard and the door pushes open.

I lean backward, the door taking my body with it into my apartment. However, I wrap my fingers around the piece of silk around Mac's neck and gently pull him with me and he offers a slight smirk as his body leans further into mine.

"Stella..."

"Mac..." I mumble as my fingers gently grasp the back of his head and guide his lips to mine, hungrily devouring them, offering him the heated display of affection that I wasn't able to show him in the restaurant. "Mac...oh god Mac I need you right now," I whisper in his ear as I gently suck on the sensitive lobe, his body hardening under my touch as each second rapidly passes by.

Mac lips start to tenderly nibble the base of my neck and my body arches into his, his strong arms already having my coat to the floor in a pile beside his, my fingers tugging at the knot of silk.

"I want you Stella..." Mac groans as his desire continues to force itself to be known.

"Mac I..." I stop and look at him with a painful expression, both my hands now on either side of his flushed face, his brow gently dusted with small beads of sweat.

"I want this Stella."

"What about Cameron?" I ask softly and he takes both my hands and places them around his chest as his arms encircle mine once again.

"My mother has him and before you ask, yes it was her idea," Mac confesses warmly and my face lights up into a warm smile.

"Really?" I ask and he just nods his head.

"I um...I know it might be a bit soon to stay at my place but..." he stops and takes a deep breath.

"But I want to wake up in your arms," I finish.

"Exactly," he whispers in return. "Stella I love you," he starts once again and my heart naturally skips a beat at hearing him say he loves me in such a warm tone. "I have wanted this moment since...since I first took off that band of gold. I told myself that if I ever got that opportunity it would be because we both wanted to build on something amazing."

Hearing Mac's heartfelt confession made my eyes water and my love for him grow even more; if that was possible. And more than anything, I'm glad that we are both in a sober state and the words we are offering are true and heartfelt and something we won't be regretting or questioning in the morning.

"I love you too and want more than anything to wake up with you in my arms. I know in my heart that we will have time to wake up together in your home with Cameron joining both of us, but when you are both ready for that."

"Stella, when that time comes, it'll be more than a casual affair," Mac states in a low tone, his lips once again inches from mine.

"Mac?"

"It'll be on a permanent basis; as a real family."

"I'd like that."

"Tomorrow?" He asks simply.

"Mac?"

"As you always say, I'm just saying it."

I can't help but feel my eyes water at his statement and just as a tear is about to escape he gently lowers my face and kisses my tear away before returning to my lips and finishing what we started minutes earlier. Words now are not needed as his fingers gently tug at the back zipper of my dress while I finally pull his loosened dress shirt from his pants and push it off his body, his undershirt next.

My dress slowly slides to the floor, revealing brand new black satin and lace and his eyes devour every inch of skin before them before he scoops me up in his strong embrace and carries me to the bedroom, my fingers still grasping sweaty hair, keeping his lips locked with mine.

Mac gently lays me down on the bed, his undershirt now gone and my fingers dancing around the waistband of his pants, his need for me more than evident.

"You are so beautiful," Mac praises warmly and my body responds in kind as his fingers release the clasp on my new bra and his lips start to plant warm hungry kisses on my now bare skin. My body arches into his as I finally free him of his dress pants, just dark boxers left between us and our much needed sexual release.

"Mac I need you," I beg as his lightly sweat covered body lowers itself onto me once more. "Come to me..." I moan as his lips gently nibble my neck once more.

XXXXXXXX

Being able to undress Stella and then hungrily devour her perfect naked body is a fantasy that I never really believed I would ever be able to fulfill; at least not outside my own mental dreams. But having her here before me, feeling her body giving itself to me, her whispered moans, her warm hands and hungry lips is something I pray I'll get to experience now on a regular basis. When I had had sex with Anna I pictured Stella's face, but to hear her voice and to know it's actually her I am about to make love to, is more than I can express in words.

I am thankful that each word I told her tonight was done in a lucid frame of mind; no alcohol to poison my mind and every confession was heartfelt and readily excepted and returned in kind. But to feel her body just giving itself so willingly to me is something that amazes me to no end.

My fingers get lost in damp sweaty curls as our bodies continue to move in perfect harmony, tiny beads of sweat starting slide down our sides and pool in the soft comforter beneath us. Stella's fingers gently grip my smooth back as my tongue starts to invade her warm mouth once again, her lips offering my listening ears soft moans, my heart racing I'm sure as fast as hers.

And while I did have some small feelings of doubt as to what she might think of us finally consummating our feelings after all these years, the minute my body was offered to hers, nature took over and our love started to grow; our union strong and well under way.

Stella's lips start to nibble on my neck, forcing my body to try even hard to please her in return. She whispers in to my ear how much she loves me and I can't get my own mouth to her ear to tell her the same in return fast enough. I start to suck on her tender skin, her nails digging further into my back as our rhythm increases, heart reaching maximum limit.

"Oh Mac!" Stella moans as we near climax, our bodies almost spent of energy; my heart about to give out from pure ecstasy.

"Stella!" I gasp one more time before one final display of love is offered and the room is finally still. I look down at Stella, who is just as out of breath as I am and kiss her slightly salty lips once more.

"Mac...wow," she breathes as she pushes some sweaty strands off my forehead and smiles.

"You were perfect," I whisper and her smile widens. "I have waited for this moment for..."

"Forever?" Stella finishes and I can only nod my head in agreement.

"Forever Stella," I answer in return, her fingers playing with the side of my face. "I want to wake up in your arms."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I murmur as I lean in and kiss her once more. "Every day."

"We'll get there Mac, I promise."

"Thank you for tonight. It was more than...I can't even tell you how wonderful. You were perfect."

Stella looks up at me and beams; seems almost impossible for her glow to get any brighter but as I offer my words, her face just seems to brighten. I tuck another unruly curl behind her ear and offer a slight frown.

"Mac?" Stella is quick to call me on it.

"Nothing," I gently shake my head.

"Your brain is starting to over work again isn't it?" Stella teases me and I can do little more than nod in agreement. "What are you still questioning?"

"Actually just wondering what it will be like for Cameron to come into my bedroom and find you there," I whisper and she looks at me in surprise.

"Our bedroom?" She corrects.

"Our bedroom," I echo.

"He will be surprised at first," Stella confirms what I had already surmised. "But if we explain to him..."

"What will we explain?" I beg.

"I think that is another discussion," she correctly answers and I can once again only nod my head in agreement before offering a heavy sigh as I gently detach my body from hers. "Mac?"

"Just making us more comfortable for the night," I tell her warmly as I carefully pull her to her feet and hold her naked body against mine. I push some hair off her cheeks before I bring her lips once more to mine. "Bed time," I mumble as I pull her covers back and allow her to get in first. I quickly follow after her, wrapping my arms around her and holding her close, my lips nuzzling her face.

"Will you sleep tonight?" Stella wonders.

"A little, you?"

"A little?" She asks.

"Too excited right now to think about sleep," I confess and she lightly giggles. "That is your fault."

"My fault?" She queries in the darkened bedroom, her finger poking into my naked side and forcing a small laugh from my lips. "You better sleep or else Mac."

"And what about tomorrow?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'll..." I start only to have her cover my mouth with her hand, something I see she likes do to ensure she gets the last word in.

"As much as I'm sure you'd enjoy me tying you up right now and keeping you quiet all night stop it already," she scolds with a laugh as her removes her hand. "Tomorrow we'll wake up, linger in bed and then you'll go home and tell your son what an amazing date you had with an amazing woman."

"I want you there with me," I confess in sorrow. "I hate this being apart; living apart."

"Mac, when you are both ready for that you know where I'll be."

"Hopefully right beside me like you are now."

"I will be," she whispers as she hugs me close and I kiss the top of her head. "Now get some sleep!" She playfully demands and I have to smirk in the darkness.

"Yes ma'am."

XXXXXXXX

As much as I told Mac to get some sleep, I know my mind will be just as active as his all night until we wake up and face tomorrow, probably alone for most of the day. And while I do wish we were waking up in his bed as a regular family, I know we aren't there yet. Soon? I mean we have known each other for ten years and I think Mac knows my intent for long term. But he said he wants me there at his side, so am I ready for that? I finally give my mental questioning a break, close my eyes for good and nestle back into the strong arms holding me close, Mac's warm breath on my bare skin adding some much needed comfort as the night progresses.

As morning finally starts to creep upon us, I slowly open my eyes to see Mac awake and watching me with a warm smile. My body stretches in his embrace and his arms around me tighten.

"Good morning," he whispers as his warm lips nuzzle my cheek before planting a kiss on my waiting lips.

"Good morning yourself," I whisper in return as I touch his cheek, and smile as my fingers graze the gentle stubble that has formed overnight. "So did you sleep?"

"Had to. Was afraid of the _or else_," he answers in a playful tone to which I just smile at. "You?"

"Was too busy thinking of the _or else_ to want to sleep," I wink and his smile widens.

"So..." Mac's voice now starts with a hint of uncertainty.

"So..." I mirror, some uncertainty in my tone as well.

"Another heart to heart right?" Mac asks with a frown.

"Mac, he's your son," I remind him gently. "He needs to know all this from you first."

"I just want usall three of us to be together."

"But you're not ready," I huff and he is quick to shake his head no.

"I am ready," he insists in haste. "Just...Stella I have screwed up in the past so much on this and I just want to do what's right for...well everyone."

"Mac, you have taken into consideration, your mother, your son, your team and me. The most important component in this decision, however, is you. What do _you_ want?"

"I want _you_ to marry me," Mac confesses in a firm tone, locking blue with green.

I wasn't prepared for such a confession and so my eyes widen automatically in response. "Mac?"

"Stella, will you marry me?"

"I..."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry and please don't hate me for leaving it here but you'll have to wait for the whole confession and Stella's reply. Think she'll take this seriously? Hope you liked this chapter and want more next week. Thanks so much once again and please review before you go!

**PS:** Nothing tomorrow (on the 25th) but as requested, Target Specific will update on Saturday (the 26th).


	11. A New Connection is made

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 11 - A New Connection is made**

* * *

"I...yes...Mac? Are you Serious?"

"I know this is...well not exactly the place I had planned to tell you," he smirks, "and I will ask properly but...well I just wanted you to know how serious my intentions are in all this. Stella, I have known you for ten years and love you more than anything. I know it might seem right now as if I am rushing things after a month, but when I came to Greece, my intentions were to continue to build on that confession and ask you to marry me shortly thereafter; that was four years ago."

"You wanted that?" I ask in continued surprise, my eyes about to offer happy tears.

"That and more," Mac gently smiles. "I wanted you as my wife then Stella, I just didn't act upon it. But that feeling is stronger now."

"Mac what about..."

"I don't think we need to go the regular dating routine to get to know each other. Stella, I love you. I know you and want to be with you...just didn't expect to be...well a single father at the time and..." Mac stars again only to have me pull his lips to mine and stop his speech by hungrily devouring his mouth. Mac's arms automatically wrap around me, holding me close as he pulls my warm naked body on top of his, one hand now lost in curls.

"I need you Mac...right now," I whisper as my lips start to tease his sensitive ear lobe.

Mac's body automatically responds to his own natural desires, going hard as my desire for him also increases. His lips offer soft moans as my sucking increases, his hands gripping my naked back, holding me close as our rhythm increases.

"Stella..." Mac's voice trails off as his fingers guide my lips back to his and he hungrily starts to devour them once again; his tongue invading the soft folds of my mouth as sweat starts to form on us, covering us with a glistening sparkle. My hands grip his body, holding on while our intensity strengthens.

"Mac!" I gasp once more before our union is complete and I flop down on Mac, happy and exhausted. His warm fingers push some sweaty curls off my face, tucking some behind my ear and my lips reward his efforts with a warm smile. We linger in blissful silence before Mac decides to break it.

"So was that a yes right?" Mac teases and I offer a mock pout. "Stella I was..."

"You are so paying for that Mac," I strain as I slowly detach myself and lean over the bed. I lift myself back up with a surprise. And before he can react, I have taken one wrist, cuffed it and then attach the other cuff to the bedpost before looking at his handsome face with a mischievous smile.

"You bring those out_ now_?" He groans as he uselessly tugs on his captive wrist. "Stella."

"Boy you are just asking for it aren't you Taylor?" I tease and he slowly nods his head.

"In a minute?"

"Nice try."

"We are not having sex again?"

"That's right. You have to stay like that now," I tell him firmly as I push myself up and look down at him with a smile. He seems perfectly content to just stay handcuffed to the bed and if I was sure he didn't need at least a few minutes to recover his strength and energy would have taken him once again.

"Stella?" Mac asks with a weak frown as I push myself up to leave. "Where um are you going?"

"For a shower," I tell him as I look down at the handsome naked man trapped in my bed.

"What?" He manages. "But...you can't...Stella!"

"Just be happy I didn't immobilize you further," I tease with a wink as I go to take my leave; standing before him naked and teasing his helpless state.

"Okay this is just cruel," he smirks. "You can't be serious," he tries to argue as he frantically looks around for the key. "Stella, you can't leave me here like this and...leave me to think about you naked and...help!"

"Mac, I need a shower and if we are both in there together..."

"I would have just waited," he insists.

"Yes but its more fun for me to imagine you like that while I'm in there," I confess and he frowns. But when he slumps back with a heavy sigh I have to wonder if he's really upset.

"Are you seriously upset?" I ask as I with a concerned expression as I sit back down beside him. Mac's free hand starts to trace small circles on my naked thigh but his frown doesn't leave. "Mac, you know I love you and would love to marry you. I just wasn't sure that was..."

"It was a serious question but I am not thinking about that," he admits. "I am thinking how our fun like this will have to stop when..." his voice trails off as he looks away. "I mean Cameron can't find us like...damn it."

"Mac, married people have sex; some even wilder than this with kids in the house," I tell him as I finger his captive arm, my nails making small drag marks down his taut muscle, small shivers being seen on his naked skin.

He looks up at me with uncertainty in his blue eyes and I lean in and kiss him on the lips and he finally rewards me with a smile.

"You have a lock on the door right?"

"So? Stella he..."

"You'll just have to explain to him that when mummy and daddy have the door locked and closed and if knocks and we don't open right away he can't come in," I tell him and this time it's Mac's eyes that lightly mist over. "Mac? What is it?"

"Just like how you say mummy so naturally," he admits with a warm smile. "Really like that."

"Me too," I agree as I kiss him once more. "Now just rest."

"Do I have a choice?" He asks, tugging on his captive wrist.

"No," I smile as I once again push myself up off the bed and head into the bathroom to get my day started. I turn around to see Mac watching with a contented look on his face and I have to smile in return. However, my shower isn't as productive as I want it to be; my mind still picturing Mac handcuffed to the bed waiting for me to return. I know his concerns about our intimacy are valid if we are to progress towards a permanent living arrangement, but I just hope he doesn't allow those fears and concerns to hold him back from asking me properly to marry him.

_Mac is going to marry me,_ is the happy thought that gets me through the rest of the shower until I head back into the bedroom to see Mac trying to find the handcuff key.

"Nice try handsome. I have what you are looking for," I tease as I hold the key up for him to see. "Might just leave you like that all day."

"Hope springs eternal," he smiles in return as I head to him and finally set him free. Both arms quickly capture me to his chest and he holds me close against his rapidly beating heart. "I love you," he whispers in my ear as his lips plant a warm kiss on the freshly cleaned lobe. "Damn you smell good, better use those cuffs again," he teases as I turn to face him. "My turn for a shower."

I plant one more kiss on his lips and then regrettably watch him leave the warm confines of the bed and head into the bathroom to get his day started as well. I selfishly want Mac all to myself for as long as possible, but as I picture Cameron's smiling face in my mind, I know that he'll want to see his daddy very soon.

"Plus I'm sure that Millie wants a break as well," I huff as I hurry to get dressed. But as I think about Mac leaving and I'll be alone for the day my eyes water and my heart starts to ache. But not wanting to make Mac feel guilty, I allow my mind to dwell on his proposal and my eyes quickly dry. Just in time too. Mac finally emerges from the bathroom, once again tempting me with his freshly cleaned skin and half naked body; his upper half exposed as he heads back into the bedroom.

"Mmm love shower Mac. Maybe you better use those cuffs," I murmur as I plant a warm kiss on his back as I hold him close. Mac closes his eyes for a few minutes and I can't help but feel my heart yearn for him as he offers even a small display of affection. He finally pulls away and continues his dressing.

"I want you to stay for breakfast but I know you can't," I tell him firmly as we head into the kitchen.

"I should..."

"Mac, don't try to justify yourself," I insist with a smile. "It's Saturday and Cameron needs his father."

"He needs a regular family," Mac replies in anger as he turns to face me with a serious expression. "I will ask you properly Stella. We will be a family."

I touch his face and his hand quickly covers mine and holds it in place on his now smooth cheek. "And when you do, I will say yes _again_. I said yes Mac this morning and I meant it," I assure as I plant a firm kiss on his lips. "Call me later?"

"You know I will," he answers as he kisses me once more. We linger a bit longer in the entranceway to my apartment before I finally have to let him go; my heart now aching as he slowly takes his leave. Mac turns to offer me one last smile before the elevator takes him from view and he's gone; at least for now.

But after such an amazing night like last night, how on earth am I going to be able to face any day that I am alone? And with a that anguished thought, I sag to the floor, allow the silence to engulf me and fill the room with quiet sobs.

* * *

The drive back to my apartment is done of course in reflective silence. Last night was more than amazing; it was the connection we have both needed to happen in order to progress to the next level. I think during the night I finally realized that Stella is here for the long haul and I need to now take the next step to show her how serious I am about having her in my life on a permanent basis. None of this just sleeping around when we have the time and then going back to our separate lives when morning returns. I had asked her to marry me in the heat of the moment, but much like my confession of love it's what I was feeling and wanted her to know.

But I do have concerns about Cameron and our sleeping arrangements. He's used to just coming into my bedroom in the morning or whenever he wants and I know I can't always use the child gate; especially as he gets older. But Stella's words about explaining things to him, makes some sort of sense and so that's one of the reasons I didn't push for breakfast, I wanted to get home and talk to Cameron right away.

I finally reach home, rush up the stairs and race toward my front door. As I go to push the key into the lock, I hear warm laughter from inside and know that my son is already up; the perfect opportunity to talk to him now.

"Daddy!" Cameron greets me as he rushes into my open arms and I quickly capture him close and plant a warm kiss on his cheek. "Missed you," he tells me as I pick him up and hold him close.

"Missed you too. Where you a good boy for gramma?"

"Yes," he states eagerly as I look at my mother who offers a warm smile in return.

"By that smile, I take it things went better than expected," she states as I place Cameron by the TV and head into my bedroom to change, my mother following, stopping at the door.

"I sort of asked her to marry me," I confess, my back still to my mother.

"And?"

"She sort of said yes," I gently frown.

"Did she say yes or are you just reading into something you are now nervous about seeing come true?" My mother quickly calls me on my insecurity.

"She said yes," I tell her as I turn around to face her with a gentle frown.

"What is it?"

"How was Cameron last night?"

"He asked about you and was sad when I told him you weren't coming home but then he finally got the picture and went to sleep like the good boy you raised."

"And what happens when he comes into my room and I'm no longer alone? I mean what if Stella and I...well want to be um...intimate or...whatever..." my voice trails off in slight embarrassment. "Never mind."

"Why is it children, especially grown men, always have a hard time talking about their own sex life in front of their mothers. McCanna do you think I just thought that you and Stella played cards all night?" She asks and I just smirk. "If you want her here on a permanent basis then you'll just tell your son the truth. It'll take him a few times to get used to the idea that she's here on a regular basis but trust me he wants her here just as much as you."

"Stella said that too. I don't want to hurt him further."

"Bringing into your lives a woman who'll loves him right now and who'll him as he grows up? Trust me, she should have been here right from day one. But you have the opportunity now; don't let it slip away from you. He's already calling her mummy. To wait for a long period of time would do him more harm than good. When do you plan on asking her?"

"I would this afternoon if I could," I huff as I hang up my suit jacket in the closet, my new tie beside it. "By the way my new outfit did win me brownie points."

"Thought as much," my mother smiles. "So what are your plans for today?"

I look at her in misery. "See this is what I hate. I had an amazing night and well an amazing morning and then...nothing? I want to be with her but," I stop as I see my mother shaking her head as she comes in closer. She takes both hands in hers and gives them a firm squeeze. "How can I just think about her being alone all day when I know she wants to be with me; with _us_. But then if we do spend the day I hate the fact that we have to separate like strangers each time we part at the end of the day. Damn I hate this!"

"Get changed, talk to your son and then the both of you go and see Stella. Spend the day with her as I know you want to."

"I want to," I whisper with a tight smile. "And when do we include you?" I ask in wonder.

"Well if you'll just hurry up and ask her to marry you, then I could plan an engagement dinner for you two," my mother tells me and I have to smile in return. "I am already included McCanna. Seeing you happy like this, makes me happy. Seeing my grandson so loved and happy also makes me happy. The rest will come."

"I want to propose on Friday," I tell my mother firmly. She wraps her arms around me and then kisses me on the cheek.

"That is the best decision you have ever talked about making."

"Don't think it's too impulsive?" I have to inquire.

"Maybe if you had known Stella for only ten days; _not ten years_. You allowed four years to pass in misery, now it's time to spend the rest of your life in happiness. Besides you told me after you both came back from Greece you were going to ask her. You lost that chance then; not this one. Ask her my son; ask the woman you love to be a permanent part in your life. Bring her into Cameron's life as his mother and your wife. Do it before something happens once again and it's lost for good."

I watch her leave and finally feel all my tension starting to ease. I want Stella as my wife; Cameron's step mother; and I don't want to wait much longer for it to happen. I know we'll have our troubles and there will be growing pains, especially with a child in the mix, but I am now confident that with her at my side; it'll be a success. So with the thought of ring shopping now on my brain, I quickly change and then head out to find my son, eager to get the day started.

First I'm going to tell him about Stella possibly being his new mother and then I'm going to tell him we are going to see her. I am now offering a quick prayer that both discussions will end on positive notes. I go in search of my son and find him sitting on the couch with the Thomas reading book in his hands. I didn't get a chance to read to him last night like I normally do and now wonder if he'll be mad. But when he looks up with a bright smile, I know my fears are unjustified.

"Want to read right now?"

"Yah," he smiles as he holds up his reading book. "Read with mummy."

I look at him in shock and my heart sinks. However, determined not to let my own feelings of melancholy about her not being here hinder my discussion, I offer a tight smile and sit down beside him, pulling him onto my lap and holding him close. He wraps his arms around my neck and kisses my cheek and my smile is instantly genuine.

"We'll see mummy later."

"Now daddy..." He starts and I know if I don't stop this right now I'll be in mental torment.

"Missed you sweet boy," I nuzzle his ear before I pull back and look at him with a serious expression, my mother hovering in the background, allowing me privacy.

"Mummy?"

"Cameron last night daddy spent the night with Stella," I start and my son looks at me with a slight frown. "I love her very much and I am going to ask her to marry me. That means I am going to ask her to come and live with us on a permanent basis and you can see her every day," I tell him and his facial expression doesn't change. I know he doesn't really understand but I have to try; for both our sakes.

"Would it be okay if Stella came here and lived with us?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders and I just offer a heavy sigh and a slight smirk. "Would it be okay if she lived here every day?" I try again.

"Mummy?" Cameron asks with a wide smile and my heart breaks.

"Yes mummy," I whisper tenderly as I kiss the top of his head. "Do you want to see her every day?" I ask and he smiles. "I want the three of us to be a real family Cameron. Would you like that?"

"Yah," he nods his head and I know he's just agreeing with me. But that's okay as I just want to make sure he knows what's going on. However, when I look up at my mother and she gives me the thumbs up my mind settles at least somewhat. However, telling him these things now and then having to explain them again when Stella is actually here, will be very different. But then another thought crosses my mind and I look up at my mother in with a worried expression before Cameron tugs at my sleeve.

"So how about I make us some breakfast and then we go and take Stella to the park?"

"The park!" Cameron shouts as his eyes widen with joy. "YES!"

"Breakfast first," I tell him as I push myself up and head over to my mother.

"I know that look," she states in concern. "What are you doubting now?"

"I can't ask her to move here and I can't move back to Manhattan, too far..." my voice trails off as I run a frustrated hand through my hair and sigh heavily. "For work."

"I understand there is a vacancy in the Manhattan lab," my mother reminds me.

"I can't go back," I whisper in misery. "Oh maybe this wasn't such a good idea," I lament as I turn to leave.

My mother grabs my arm and then turns me to face my son, who looks up at both of us with a warm loving smile before back down at the book he's now trying to read on his own.

"Last night you thought of _yourself_ first and asked Stella to marry you and that made me happy. Now it's time to make me happier still; put away your pride McCanna and think of _him_ first," she gently instructs. I know in an instant what she means and she is right. It's about time I swallowed my prideful guilt and got back to where I belonged, my old lab, my old team with Stella at my side as my wife and partner. I offer a firm nod, settled now to call Chief Sinclair first thing Monday morning; once again praying all goes well.

* * *

I listen to the stifling silence as it starts to consume me and already I am wishing that Mac was here with me right now; that the air was filled with Cameron's happy laughter instead of my own miserable sighs. Last night was amazing and once again my brain is replaying Mac and I making love before waking up in each other's arms. But watching him leave was harder than I thought and now I feel like our relationship will strain until we are a permanent bond.

I take my coffee and head over to the window and sit down on the ledge, allowing the sun to calm my nerves. I think about Mac's mentioned proposal but now I have to wonder about where we will really live. I am hoping that when he does ask, it'll force him to finally reconsider coming back to his old job, but worry that he won't be able to see past his own personal misery and see that we all want him back where he belongs. The phone rings and my heart starts to race as I hurry for it, hoping its Mac.

"Hey Don."

"Sorry, it's not Mac."

"Funny. What's up?"

"I need your advice."

"On?"

"A first date."

"You want dating advice from me? Don my dating life hasn't been the picture you'd want to copy. But I'll help if I can."

"I have struggled with this for about six months now, just not sure if um...well Jess would..."

"She would want you to be happy Don. You know when I first asked Mac out for something more social, it was small but I was worried about what Claire might think. Silly I know as she's dead but...I still wondered. But then I realized that she'd want Mac to be happy, just like Jess would want you to be happy. I know you'll never forget her, just like Mac hasn't forgotten Claire. So don't think you are betraying her in any way."

"Okay here goes," he pauses with a heavy sigh. "Her name is Emily Chan and she works on Mac's team. She's persistent but not in an annoying way. She mentioned it again last week and...and I think I would be interested in getting to know her better. She's very different from Jess but...and I know I shouldn't compare, especially after four years but..."

"Human nature Don."

"She's very funny and well Asian, so she dresses really trendy but she's hot," he snickers and I can't help but laugh. "She looks after her mother which is really cool and yes she likes hockey; not a die hard fan or anything but at least she knows Alexander the Great isn't just a historical figure."

"That's important," I smile.

"And she's really grown on me. Stella I think I really do like her but..."

"Well if you are waiting for me to say go for it, then go for it. Keep it fun and casual and don't expect anything."

"Really?"

"Yes. Life and time are too short and I you and I have both learned that lesson the hard way. If you want something then go for it. If you like her say yes; have a good time and...and then...well that's up to you."

"Thanks Stella. I knew I wanted to I um...yeah okay so, how did last night go with Mac?"

"You mean the dinner?"

"Hell yes the dinner," he chuckles. "Don't want to hear about Mac's sex life or yours...or whatever," he finishes with a smile I can almost see over the phone. "He loves you Stella, more than anything. Think you two will ever get married?"

"Yes we will," I confess with my own wide smile. "But until he shows me a ring, you know I'll remain a bit skeptical. Hard not to after all these years of being apart. I love him Don, more than anything in this world and want to be with both of them."

Don and I talk a bit longer before both hanging up with high hopes for the future. I look around my place and finally realize that the place itself isn't something I'd lament leaving behind; not if it means sacrificing everything to be with an amazing man. I head back into the kitchen to get my breakfast finished and then start into my weekend chores, turning up the music to keep from dwelling on the fact that Mac isn't here. _Oh I miss him so much_, my brain states in sorrow. However, another hour after that, a knock is heard at the door and I can't get there to open it fast enough.

"Mac?" I ask in happy surprise as I look from his handsome face to the cute one right beside him. "Cameron!"

* * *

"Mummy!"

"Surprise," I state weakly as I hold Cameron in my arms, both of us looking at Stella in expectation. "I hope it's okay that..." I start only to have her gently take my arm and pull us both inside her freshly cleaned apartment. "Did I disturb anything?"

"Yes, bad boy. You took me away from vacuuming," she teases and my face relaxes. I slowly enter her apartment, my mind still worried about the discussion I had earlier with my mother about where we might live after we are married. I slowly ease Cameron out of my arms to the floor, but he quickly runs to Stella and wraps his arms around her legs, holding on tightly and further cementing in my mind that he needs her in his life on a permanent daily basis and I better get my ass in gear.

Stella bends down to him and offers him a warm hug, his body slowly detaching itself from her leg. "Do you want to take off your coat Cameron?" Stella asks and he nods his head. "I don't have any toys," Stella sheepishly frowns.

"I always come prepared," I tell her as I show her my bag that was slung on the other shoulder. "But we want you to get your coat on and come with us."

"Where to?" Stella asks with arched brows.

"Kennedy amusement park?" I ask with some hesitancy. "They have some really great child rides that Cameron is finally old enough to ride on."

"Can I have a few minutes to change?"

"Of course," I tell her with a warm smile. I watch her leave and then unzip Cameron's jacket before telling him to stay put and then pushing myself back up and heading into the kitchen to fill up a bottle with some water; assuming Cameron is just going to stay put in this new environment to him. I was wrong. About a minute later I head back out of the kitchen and see my son is missing. Then I hear something that makes me cringe.

"Mummy's naked!" Cameron laughs and I race toward Stella's bedroom, my anger starting to rise. However, when I round the corner I see that Stella is almost dressed but only has a bra on.

"Oh damn," I gently curse as I quickly take Cameron from her bedroom and close the door. My son starts to protest as he can tell by the tone of my voice that I am not happy with his actions. I kneel down and look at him with a heavy frown.

"What did daddy tell you? Didn't I tell you to stay put?" I ask with a firm tone and his bottom lip starts to quiver. He slowly nods his head and my frustration is finally starting to subside. "Did you listen?" I query and he shakes his head no, his eyes already wet.

"But mummy..."

Stella appears in her doorway and I glance up at her in regret. "Cameron, when an adult goes into their bedroom they need privacy. If you are not invited you need to knock on the door like I showed you how to do at Gramma's; you need to give mummy the same respect. For not listening I should just take you home."

"No daddy...I'm sorwry," he sobs in sorrow as he flings his arms my neck and starts to cry. My body releases a heavy sigh as I hug him back. I finally pull back and look at him with a kind smile. "You need to go and tell Stella you are sorry for not knocking. If you do that we'll go to the park."

Cameron nods his heads and I swivel on my knees and watch as he slowly walks up to her and stands before her in misery; Stella thankfully fully dressed.

"Sorry Stella for not knocking," he mumbles and she bends down and also gives him a hug.

"It's okay sweet boy. I know you meant no harm. I'm not mad at you," she whispers as she looks at me and offers a kind smile. Cameron finally wanders back to me and I give him instructions to take out one toy and sit on the floor by the bag and just wait; his wandering privileges have been revoked. I then go in search of Stella. I peer into her bedroom to see her dressed and lightly knock; knowing I can't ream my son out for something I am not willing to do in return. She looks up with a smile, but it does little to ease my nervous anxiety.

"Mac, come here," she frowns as she comes up to me, takes me by the hand and gently pulls me toward the bed, forcing me to sit down beside her.

"I hate getting mad at him," I state in misery as my eyes fix themselves on her fingers. "But I am sorry if he embarrassed you."

"I wasn't completely naked. But Mac, he called me mummy, did you lose sight of that fact?" She inquires and I look up at her in regret.

"I did. I um...this is still so new and...where will we live?" I blurt out and then shake my head as I pull my hand free, preparing to leave.

Stella gently takes my arm and pulls me back down beside her. "What?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"I'll bet that's what you spent most of the morning worrying about right?" She asks and I can't help but nod my head in agreement, my eyes still not daring to meet hers.

"Mac, I don't care where we live and..."

"I do," I state softly as her hand rests on my cheek and guides my face to look at hers. She brings her lips to mine and tenderly kisses them.

"I love you," she whispers. "Whatever happens, we'll make it work. But for now let's not keep that boy or ours waiting any longer."

"But..." I start and she kisses me again, silencing me and I can't help but pull away with a smirk.

"Always seems to work," I confess and she squeezes my hand.

"What is really wrong?"

"I want us to be a family. Not a week from now or a month or god forbid a year...I felt like last night was a one night stand and...later today when we have to leave and...Stella more than anything I hate that feeling, having to rush back to another life, instead of staying with you as I want. If it was just us, it wouldn't be as big...okay so I would want it but...you know what I mean. Cameron changes things and..."

Stella offers a nod of what I hope is understanding and then smiles. "I want that too Mac. Trust me, it was just as hard for me to let you go this morning also and then try to contemplate facing the day alone; while you two were off in a world I wanted to be in."

"Let's get married next weekend," I state in haste and she gently chuckles. But when she looks at the serious expression on my face she pulls back in wonder. "Stella, I'm serious."

She shakes her head and I notice her eyes slightly water. "We should go."

"Right," I huff with a deep sigh.

"Mac," she starts as we both stand up, inches apart. "I want that too," she whispers before she wraps her arms around my neck and starts to hungrily devour my lips. But before we can get carried away a soft knock is heard at the door and we both turn to see Cameron watching us with a timid smile.

"You can come in Cameron," I warmly offer and he runs up to us and wraps his arms around her legs and looks up.

"Daddy, mummy, goes to the park," he urges and I look at Stella who simply smiles in return; her eyes about to mist.

"All set?" I ask Stella in haste.

"All set," she confirms. "Let's go to the park."

"Yay!" Cameron shouts in glee as he races back for the front door.

Stella takes my hand and stops me once again. "Mac, I want that too. And trust me it can't come soon enough," she confirms her earlier words and I know Monday's ring shopping won't be in vain.

XXXXXXXX

I can't really fault Mac for being anxious about where we will live but inside I am selfishly hoping he'll realize how much he belongs back at his old lab, my lab, and take back his old position; the one that Sinclair still hasn't filled. I have to, however, laugh at his enthusiasm to get married next weekend. Oh if only it were that simple. Mac and I have known each other for ten years so it's not like we have to do the whole getting to be friends and doing the just dating phase. And with Cameron's emotions thrown into the mix, I can understand Mac wanting something more stable in his life than just him and me to spend the night once a week and that's it. Me, I don't care about extensive dating. I want Mac; I want my family.

But as I listen to Mac's soft voice talking about the park we are going to visit and listen to Cameron's happy chatter about, well nothing really, my brain starts to make it clear that I too don't know what we are waiting for? Usually people date to build up trust, grow a friendship and see if there is enough chemical spark to keep the attraction going once the honeymoon phase has worn off. Mac and I passed that long ago. Now I guess we just need to work on the _small stuff_, like where we'll live and how the work problem will be resolved. But as Mac pulls into the parking lot of the amusement park I know thing is for sure, at the end of today, letting both of them go back to their own world without me, will kill me.

Mac stops the SUV and then looks at me with a warm smile before he pushes himself out of the front and heads to get Cameron out of the back. I quickly gather up his carrying bag and hurry outside to join them. The weather crisp and clear but the sun is shining and it's another perfect fall day for a family outing.

I take much delight in watching Cameron's eyes light up as he looks at the assortment of colorful rides, practically dragging Mac toward the main entrance gate.

"Cameron just wait," Mac huffs as he pulls his son back to him and lightly laughs. We reach the entrance and my heart skips a beat when Mac asks for the family package. The three of us get our hands stamped and then head inside, masses of people, smells of tempting food, laugher, music and a million different things all vying for the attention of the very distracted four year old.

"Unlike other amusement parks, this one really caters to small children," Mac tells me and I look at him in wonder. "Yes I know useless trivia like that," he tells me and I can't help but smile as I loop my arm in his and hold on tightly; his hand firmly holding Cameron's. We reach the first attraction, a small spinning ride that has tea cups for the seats.

"Do you um want to go with him?" Mac asks in a sheepish tone.

"Are you sure?"

"Kinda girly for me," Mac smirks and I just laugh as I look down at Cameron with a warm smile.

"Cameron do you want to come with me for a ride in those spinning tea cups?" I ask and he looks at Mac who nods before shouting yes in happiness. I hand my bag to Mac to watch and then it's my turn to take delight as Cameron's small hand firmly clasps in mine as I lead us over to the entrance way. He prattles on about something he saw on a Disney movie as I show the ride operator our ride stamps and then help him climb into one of the blue cups.

I belt him in and we both wave to Mac who has taken a picture of us smiling at him. "Mummy looks," Cameron says, tugging my jacket sleeve and pointing to something one ride over. My eyes gently water as he uses that affectionate term so easily once again. He looks back and I can't help but offer him a warm squeeze. _Oh Cameron how can I keep doing this to you? Only one day here and there? _With my arms wrapped around him, Mac takes another picture and then the ride starts up. Cameron squeals in delight as the motion makes both of our stomachs flutter and soon every other sound but his infectious laughter has been drowned out by the happy four year old right beside me.

The ride only lasts a few minutes; I think anything longer and I would have thrown up, but the movements didn't seem to faze Cameron in the least. And while my legs are still a bit wobbly after the spinning, he quickly pushes himself out of the cups and runs back toward his waiting father with a large smile on his face.

"Next time you are doing the girly ride," I tell Mac as he greets me with a small laugh.

"You okay?"

"You're up next."

We slowly wander over to a small Ferris Wheel and Cameron looks at it in worry. But once again proving he has his father's stubborn determination, he takes Mac's hand and starts to once again pull him toward the ride operator. I willingly take Mac's traveling bag and pull out the camera, my turn to capture some happy memories of father and son. Mac straps them in and then looks at me, telling Cameron to look at the camera and wave. And even long after the shutter has been deployed, I know that picture will be going on my fridge as soon as it's printed. _My boys_, my mind echoes as I watch them laughing as the ride goes around and around. And I know that as the weeks will progress, not every weekend will be spent doing something that costs money, I'm more that ready for accepting the role of wife and step mother. The ride finally finishes and this time it's me who smiles as Cameron breaks free from Mac and hurries toward me. I offer him a hug and smile as he rambles off something exciting about the ride.

"I'm too old for that," Mac huffs with a slight smile as he takes the bag from my hand and slings it over his shoulder. Cameron tugs on Mac's jacket and starts pointing to another ride of his choosing. Mac's hand firmly grasps his but when the other one firmly gasps mine I can't help but smile and feel my heart swell. The three of us walk toward another interesting looking ride. This one is in the shape of a giant yellow octopus and it's legs have buckets on the end that go up and down as it spins around; thankfully not as fast as the last one.

Mac looks at me with a sheepish grin and I just shake my head. "I know where he gets it from."

"Who gets what?"

"Who Cameron gets his sad face from," I smile as I lean in and plant a warm kiss on his cheek. "I'd be happy to take him."

"Thank you," Mac replies warmly as he bends down to his son. "Who do you want to take on the ride?"

"Mummy!" He shouts as Mac stands up to face me.

"Mac when he calls me mummy my heart swells with happiness," I admit in truth. "It's the role I want to play."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"Ready Cameron?"

"Yes," he gently mentions as I bend down to face him. I plant a kiss on his cheek and so that Mac can hear, I tell him in his ear how much I love him before I take him by the hand and we head for the next ride; once again laughing and enjoying being together as Mac takes another picture.

XXXXXXXX

I watch Cameron laughing with Stella and a small lump forms in my throat. The words she said to him were unexpected but not unwelcomed. I had some doubts this morning that she'd want to spend so much time with him but as I watch her hug him close, whisper in his ear how much she loves him and then watch his face light up in delight, I know that the time we spend together right now isn't enough. She wants this as much as I do; she's making it evident and I know what I need to do. I need to stop thinking about asking her properly and just do it.

She said she didn't mind our quiet mid week night staying at home, but my life isn't that exciting and I wonder if we don't do something every weekend, if she'll get bored and want to leave? I know she said she wouldn't but as I watch the amazing woman a few feet away, a small twinge of insecurity wants to push its way into my brain. Thankfully I push it aside before it can plant root and dwell on another idea. I quickly pull out my blackberry and text my mother, asking her to make sure the fridge is stocked and if she'd join us for dinner; all three of us. She sends back an enthusiastic reply and I can't help but smile once again.

"Daddy that was fun!" Cameron states eagerly as he and Stella rush back up to me, his hand still held firmly in hers.

"I think we need a break from the spinning," Stella mentions and I offer a weak smile in return.

"Who wants something to eat?"

"I do!" Cameron shouts. "Dibbs daddy."

"Nice try," I counter and Cameron just pouts. "Can't eat too much, we have to make room for the dinner that daddy will be making for all of us," I finish looking at Stella in uncertainty.

"Mac?" She queries.

"I know I said we go out after park outings but today was um...please?"

She gently touches my cheek and my face instantly warms. "I'd love to. Is your mother going to join us?"

"She...she doesn't have to if..."

"Mac, I would like her to eat with us."

"Are you sure?"

"I am," Stella confirms and my hand around hers tightens in happiness. With a firm nod of my head I lead the three of us over to the eating area to get a few non nutritious snacks and to sit down for a few minutes rest. I watch Cameron start to devour the small plate of fries before him, before I gently take his hand and stop his actions.

"Chew first," I huff and he looks at me with a frown.

As much as I want to discuss future details with Stella, I have already settled in my mind that on Monday I am going to go ring shopping and then swallow my pride and guilt and at least talk to Sinclair. Personally I think he'll kick me in the ass before escorting me out the building, but I'm praying for a miracle and at least a cordial visit.

Cameron finishes his fries and then starts into the small box of candied popcorn while Stella and I talk about going to any kind of fair or amusement parks as kids.

"I always liked the haunted house," Stella tells me with a smile. "You?"

"I was banned," I huff as my fingers fiddle with the empty box of popcorn.

"Banned?" She arches a brow. "Do tell."

"Went into one and wasn't prepared for the guy to jump me from behind and well...let's just say I was nearly charged with assault," I finish with a nervous chuckle. "After that there wasn't much point in going. As back then, still not a fan of the spinning rides."

"Ah so the ulterior motive to get me to come here today," Stella teases and I nod my head. "I should make you pay for that."

"Like you did this morning? I would like that."

"Are you flirting with me?" She queries.

"Is it working?" I ask softly.

"It is," she states as she squeezes my hands with her. Cameron then takes it upon himself to place his small hands on ours, forcing both of us to look at his smiling face.

"Well no more rides until the food settles," I tell Cameron and his smile fades. "But we can go to the petting zoo if you'd like."

"Yay!" Cameron shouts once more and Stella and I exchange wide smiles. We finally make our way over to the children's petting zoo and I have to hold Cameron back until it's his turn to go inside. Stella and I slowly wander around with him, listening to his happy laughter as he picks up one of the baby lambs and starts to touch its fur.

"Feels funny daddy," Cameron looks up at me and I do my best to explain why its fur is more wiry than soft. Next we make our way to some small pot bellied pigs Cameron is smitten.

"I want one mummy," Cameron states firmly as he clutches the small animal to his chest.

Stella lightly laughs as it's her turn to bend down to him and gently pry the wriggling animal out of his grasp and explain that this is his home but if he'd like a stuffie, she would buy one for him. I know that he doesn't need any more toys, especially stuffed animals, but when his face lights up, I know I'll be dishing out more than a few dollars and coming home with at least one new friend. After that it's the baby chicks and thankfully Cameron can see how delicate they are and doesn't try to maul them. Horrible visions of small massacred chicks flash before my eyes and being arrested for your child murdering innocent animals isn't something I want to attest to. We move on to the pony's and here is where I get to witness Stella and Cameron bonding once more. She takes his hand and leads him to a nearby pony. I see him flinch when the pony makes a move toward him, but Stella quickly calms his fears and my heart rate starts to slow. She picks him up and places him on the back of the pony and then holds his hand as the pony walks in the circle it's been trained to do. I quickly take out my camera and snap a few more precious memories before I walk over to join them.

"Daddy looks at me!" Cameron shouts and I look around in some embarrassment before telling him to keep his voice down. I had feared that Cameron would get mixed up with me sometimes telling him to call her Stella, me calling her Stella and him calling her either mummy or Stella. But I think I'll just leave it up to him and pray everything works out.

"Mummy looks at me!" Cameron says in a quieter tone, although not much quieter by my standards. I watch her approach him and once again take delight in the two of them laughing and bonding; my heart now at peace. I wonder what she's doing tomorrow? This time I do curse myself. Because after dinner I know I'll have to drive Stella home and wake up alone; alone as I have been for the past four years, last night the exception so far. But it's not fair to my son to have Stella stay over occasionally. Oh I know others do it and it seems perfectly acceptable, but I want something a little more stable. I guess I am more old fashioned than I might have thought.

We finally finish up with the pony's and head over to a place that has toys for kids to play with and Stella and I are happy to just sit down and rest while Cameron burns off yet more boundless energy.

"Where does he get it from?" I wonder as I watch him laughing with another boy his age.

"Wouldn't you like to just bottle that up and use it when you need it?" Stella smiles as she reaches for the camera and starts to shuffle through the pictures I have taken. "Like this one best," she states as holds up a shot that one of the animal keepers took of the three of us.

"Me too," I agree warmly, looking at her with a contented expression.

"Talked to Don this morning," Stella pipes up. "He wanted dating advice."

"Emily Chan?"

"She's on your team?" Stella queries.

"Yes and she's been persistently pursuing Don for about six months," I smirk. "I never know what to tell him..." my voice trails off as I let my eyes travel over to Cameron.

"I told him to do what he wants in his heart."

"Sounds like good advice," I mumble as I look back at her.

"Speaking of Don...did he mention coming back?"

"He would if you would. Our team isn't whole and you know it."

"What do you think Sinclair would say? I mean honestly, what do you think after all this time he'd tell me?" I urge.

"Bout damn time you came to your senses Taylor, now get your ass back in gear and get to work. Do you think I'm paying you to stand there and look lost?" Stella replies in a gruff tone and I have to chuckle. "It's your call Mac, but you know the job is still waiting for you."

"And my team now?"

"You mean the team in Jersey? Because _your team _is still waiting for you," Stella counters and I offer a heavy sigh. She gently wraps her hands around mine and squeezes. "You don't have to decide right now, I'm just reminding you."

"Would make living arrangements a lot easier," I mention in a low tone.

"It would."

"Plus let's face it, New Jersey will never be Manhattan."

"And you belong in Manhattan."

"That's true," I answer as Cameron comes running back up to us and forces his way onto my lap.

"But there is one more thing Mac and I have to bring it up again because Lindsay keeps bugging me."

"Dinner with the Messer's?" I raise my brows.

"Mac..."

"I have thought about it Stella andand as hard as I think it could be I would like to do it."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I tell Stella as I gently squeeze her hand. "I'm tired of hiding and I want Cameron to make some good friends."

"But..."

"Stella, I'm sure. I know it will be hard at first and thankfully Lucy wasn't old enough to remember...well anything. And I do'nt think Danny and Lindsay would...well hold anything against me or interrogate me or...yes tell Lindsay we'll be there."

"I love you Mac. Thank you. Thank you for doing this for me."

"For us Stella. I'm doing this for _us_, because I love you too," I tell her in truth and then look at Cameron. "All done sweet boy?" I ask as I tenderly nuzzle his warm neck and his face crunches into a smile before he nods in agreement.

XXXXXXXX

I know Mac still has reservations about work and I'm praying so hard that he'll want to at least pick up the phone and call Sinclair to at least inquire about his old position; one he never should have left in the first place. But I hope I have put enough of a bug in his ear about him being wanted back in his old job to at least give it serious thought.

I hear Cameron laugh at something once more and instantly pull myself from my thoughts to see Mac looking at something that Cameron has shown him and I have to smile along with them. Mac's strong arms hold his son close, his cheek pressed up against Cameron's and their love is undeniable. I at once feel a selfish anxiety at wanting Cameron to be my own flesh and blood but know that'll never be possible. Will I ever have that? Will Mac even want another child? Will I?

Mac turns to me and a warm smile embraces his handsome face but no words are said. Cameron turns back and I can tell he's now fighting to stay awake.

"He looks tired," I comment.

"He is. Should we take him home?" Mac queries and for a second I take in a sharp breath. _Home_. Mac had rattled off that word so naturally it almost scared me how easy it was to include me in that simple sentiment. I could only nod in response as my heart was racing so fast that that dream might actually be taken away from me by something unseen and sinister.

"Time to go home Cameron," Mac whispers to his son who's head is now fixed on his father's shoulder. Cameron tries to protest but sleep is rapidly winning the battle; his energy all but spent for now. I pack up Mac's bag and follow them out of the petting zoo area back outside into late afternoon sun.

Mac takes my hand as we walk back to the SUV and that side of my body is instantly warm. We reach the SUV and Mac carefully bundles Cameron into his car seat as I stow the rest of our things away and then wait inside.

"It's not always going to be like this you know," Mac mentions as we head back to his waiting apartment.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean today, this weekend, the outings. We don't always go out," he tells me in a soft uncertain tone, his eyes fixed firmly ahead. "I try to take him out on Saturday's and yes do go for dinner but...well I guess what I'm trying to say is..." Mac's voice trails off as I lean over and kiss his cheek and he looks at me with a frown. "I just want you to be happy and not bored or something."

"Then stop trying so hard," I tell him with a kind smile. "Mac, I love you and I love your son. I want to be with _you both of you_, I don't care what we are doing, even it was to sit at home and read or play cards or..."

"Twister?" He smirks.

"Definitely wouldnt be bored then."

"Stella?"

"Mac, most families have a regular routine just like we will. We'll go to work, come home, spend time with our son and your mother whenever she wants and then spend time together like we want. We don't always have to go out and spend money."

"Just not used to all this."

"Trust me Mac, neither am I. You at least have a few years parental experience; I have none," I tell him lightly and he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. "I want the regular everyday things, I think it's long overdue for both of us. Shopping and cooking and trips to the park. Staying inside and watching movies or playing with Cameron or...or whatever. Just as long as we do it together. I know there will be bumps along the way, but as long as we are both done running we can make this work. I want it to work. Don't you?"

"I really want that," Mac admits firmly. "You sure we can't get married tomorrow?" He asks and my face warms. "Let's go."

I really want to scold Mac and tell him to stop worrying about everything being perfect. I know there will be challenges, especially as Cameron gets older or if we do decide to expand our family; more questions will be asked. But Mac has to understand that just because a bump in the road comes along, that I am not going to bail. The conversation thankfully switches to something neutral and by the time we have arrived at Mac's apartment, I believe his insecurity about my future happiness has finally subsided.

"Welcome back," Millie greets us as we slowly walk off the elevator, her grandson asleep on his father's strong shoulder.

"Are you going to join us for dinner?" I ask the older woman before me.

"Do _you_ want that?" She asks me directly.

"I do," I smile and she nods her head.

"Then I would love to. I'll give you two time to settle in and get started and then call me when..."

"Just come back in a few hours?" I ask with some hesitancy.

"Sounds perfect," Millie agrees as she turns to leave.

Mac looks at me with a slight frown and I gently touch his face as he opens the door. I take off my coat and drop the two bags by the door as Mac carries Cameron into his room and puts him to sleep in his bed before coming back to me with a warm smile on his face.

"We have a few hours before dinner," Mac mentions as he pulls me into his strong grasp.

"And what do you normally do to unwind before then?"

"Well normally in the past I would have just sulked in front of the TV," Mac mentions and I have to offer a slight laugh as his dry tone of voice.

"And now?"

"And now..." his voice trails off as he scoops me into his strong embrace and starts to carry me to the bedroom, his lips already hungrily tasting mine. He places me on the bed before hurrying back to lock the door and then turning to me with a smile.

"Are you sure we have time?" I ask as he walks back up to me and gently eases himself down on top of me, his lips nearing mine once more.

"We have time," he whispers as he starts to kiss my mouth and then neck, forcing my body to arch into his.

"And you were worried I'd be bored?" I ask softly and he offers a slight chuckle as his eyes lock with mine once more. "Don't know about you Mac, but this seems like the perfect way to spend a Saturday to me."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so had to end on a sappy note...hehe. I think you can see the direction this story is going and hope that's okay. Please review before you leave.

**PS:** Last update for this story for this year! Lol (sorry bad joke) but special SMACKED New Years one shot up tomorrow and that's it for 2009!


	12. Securing Tomorrow

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 12 - Securing Tomorrow**

* * *

I slowly head into the kitchen after our latest love making adventure, my face still flushed and my heart still racing; Stella's scent still tempting my brain with happy memories. I reach the fridge and just as I am about to wonder what on earth to make, her soft arms wrap around my waist and offer a firm squeeze, her lips on my neck.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"You," she teases and my lips curl upward automatically. "Oh alright," she states with a mock huff. "I guess your mother and son will want real food."

Stella looks into my fridge and then up at me in surprise.

"My mother restocked it while we were away," I confess in a sheepish tone. "Was busy last night."

"I think a regular weekly family outing to the market is in order," she states and my heart settles once again into the husband and father mode. "Can't have my family starving now can I," Stella mutters under her breath and this time it's my arms closing around her. But just before I can plant a kiss on her cheek, Cameron makes himself known and my arms want to pull away.

"Mac he didn't walk in on us having sex," Stella whispers and my face flushes as her arms remain around me. Cameron looks up at us with a suspicious glance and both of us laugh at his innocence.

"I think that Cameron needs to be tickled," I state as I detach from Stella and grab my son before he tries to leave. He squeals with laugher as my fingers gently digs into his soft sides as I carry him to the living room.

"Mummy helps me," Cameron pleads through his own laughter. I mange to get Cameron to the couch and my grasp loosens. Then much to my surprise, Stella grabs both my arms and pulls them behind me.

"Time to tickle daddy, Cameron," Stella challenges and very soon I am the one under attack. Knowing I could easily pull myself free from Stella's grasp I allow her to keep me captive until my son has had his fun, the room now filled with the laughter from all of us.

"I...give...up," I gasp between laughs and Stella finally lets me go. She pulls me back into her embrace as we ease back on the couch and watch as Cameron pushes himself away from us and rushes over to get the TV remote and brings it back to us.

"Can I watch?" He inquires and I nod as I turn on the Cartoon Network before I settle back into Stella's loving embrace. "You're right," I murmur, drawing her in closer.

"About what?"

"This is a perfect Saturday."

"I agree. Except one more thing is needed," Stella mentions in a low tone.

"Handcuffs?" I tease and she pinches me in the side.

"Hey," I protest but she just laughs. "Okay so _what else_ is needed?"

"Dinner."

"Ah, yes, you're right," I tell her as I glance over at the time. "We need to feed the beast."

"Yes we do," Stella laughs as Cameron looks back at us in wonder. "Cameron are you hungry?"

"YES!" He practically shouts and I just shake my head. Stella carefully pushes herself up from me and then offers her hand which I take but pull her down and she laughs as I hold her close and plant a warm kiss on her inviting lips.

"Bold move in front of your son," she smiles warmly.

"I love you and the sooner he realizes that, the better," I tell her in truth.

"Don't kid yourself Mac, he knows," she states as her hand caresses my cheek, Cameron watching with happy delight. We finally push ourselves up from the couch and head into the kitchen.

"I am pretty hands on you know, so just let me know what you want to make and I'll do it," I tell Stella and she looks at me with arched brows.

"Oh really?" She winks and I just shake my head. "And what _else_ are you _pretty hands_ on with?"

"Okay already."

"You started it," she retorts as she turns back to the fridge and starts pulling things out. The next half hour we spend, laughing and talking, just enjoying making dinner together until my mother arrives. I worried at first that Stella would be tense around her and at first it was kinda strained but then my mother got busy setting the table and spending time between us and Cameron, asking us about the park and what things we saw and did. She laughed as she looked at the pictures both Stella and I took; before telling us that the one of the three of us was her favorite also and going on her fridge as soon as a copy was made.

XXXXXXXX

I watch Millie helping Cameron with something and then the three of us are once again ensconced in adult conversation and my tension has all but dissipated. When she first arrived, I was so nervous I nearly broke a glass. I want to make sure her and I can be this close and still be friendly and so far my expectations have been succeeded. Earlier when Mac was in the kitchen and I was leaning against the frame, she came and put her arm around my waist and started to ask about the rides I took Cameron on. At that instant I knew things would be okay.

As I sit and watch them another warm feeling of contentment starts to settle upon me and my earlier words are proving true once again; today is a perfect Saturday. I didn't want to add to Mac that it would have been totally perfect with us spending the night as husband and wife; a real family, as I don't want him to dwell on the negative as I know he has been accustomed to doing the past four years. We will have that and I have a feeling sooner rather than later. Danny and Lindsay got married by a justice of the peace and are no less in love or happy than those that have the traditional formal wedding. I would be just as happy with a small private ceremony with a handful of friends and a justice of the peace performing the marriage. Will Mac believe that is what I really want? I don't need anything fancy or expensive to show how much I love him; I would hope that is evident. I just want my family.

"That was an amazing dinner," Millie states.

"Thank Stella, she made it," Mac is quick to add.

"We both did. Mac is a capable guy in the kitchen."

"He's pretty capable in other rooms also," Millie winks at me and Mac's face turns beet red. For a man his age, I didn't think he could blush that easily, but I guess when your mom infers about your sex life, it's easy.

"Moth-er," Mac groans as he looks at her with a frown.

"My son is under the impression I raised a celibate son," Millie teases as she squeezes his arm.

"Just not dinner time conversation," he lightly hisses as he glances at Cameron who is playing with a piece of carrot.

"I think McCanna thinks that I think you two play cards all night."

I look over at Mac and smile warmly as it's my turn to take his hand and squeeze it, my heart warming even further when his fingers refuse to let mine go.

"Well Mac her impression might be right. After all we do play strip poker with cards," I giggle, not being able to refuse. His handsome face turns and looks at me in shock as Millie bursts out laughing. She pushes herself away from the table and heads into the kitchen.

"Strip poker?"

"Why not?" I arch my brow. "Strip Twister better?"

"I'm dying here. Give me a break will you," he groans as he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Cameron tugs on his shirt and Mac looks at him with a weak frown.

"What's wrong daddy?"

"The girls are ganging up on me again. Poor daddy," Mac states sadly and Cameron leaves his chair and offers his father a warm hug. Mac laughs which sets my mind at ease and settles him on his lap as Millie brings some dessert to the table. "Wow Cameron, look what gramma brought us."

Then much to the shock of Millie, Cameron looks at me with a smile. "Can I have some mummy?"

Mac looks from me to his mother, whose look of surprise quickly changes to a warm smile as she looks at me in expectation.

"I um...sure. Of course you can. A small piece," I reply with a timid smile, my heart racing with happy delight. Millie has heard Cameron call me mummy before, but each time, espcecially in front of Mac still has me a bit nervous. Millie dishes out the chocolate treat and the growing tension once again quickly subsides. The next hour is spent lounging in the living room with Millie and Cameron before Millie takes her leave, hugging me tightly and giving Mac a kiss on the cheek and telling him to behave, once again making him slightly blush which only adds to his boyish appeal. After she leaves we head back to the couch and this time, Mac puts Cameron between both of us as we share some reading time together.

"I should put him to bed," Mac whispers as I look over at Cameron who has curled into his fathers arms, fast asleep. Mac takes his son and I flip mindlessly through the book as I wait for Mac to return. When he does I ease myself down and pull him into my waiting arms once again, delighting in the new sensations of warmth as his body presses up against mine.

"Wish you could stay tonight," Mac tells me with a slight frown.

I rub his forehead before I plant a warm kiss on his lips. "I actually have a few things to do tomorrow and you need time with your son."

Mac offers a slight pout which forces me to kiss him once more. But when his lips refuse to curl I poke him in the side, the side I know is weak for him and he finally has to comply and reward me with a warm smile.

"Better," I tease and his face relaxes. "I had a lot of fun today."

"I did too," Mac replies softly.

"Mac it's also hard for me to just up and leave," I whisper in misery.

"And Cameron?"

"What about him?"

"And when you're not here in the morning?" Mac asks in misery. "What do I tell him? His mummy is gone again? And if I don't see you tomorrow and he..." Mac starts only to have me kiss him to keep him quiet.

"Stop stressing," I order and his lips offer a heavy sigh. "Your points are valid but there is nothing we can do right now."

"Move in with us," Mac states in haste and I look at him with a frown. "I know the commute. Damn it," Mac huffs as his eyes look away in frustration. I gently touch his chin and guide his eye back to me.

"We will work this out. Trust me Mac, it's not easy for me either to spend the day with him, hearing him calling me mummy and then go back home all alone. It will kill me tonight."

"Stay here tonight."

"And tomorrow?" I counter. "I have to go home sometime."

Mac pushes himself up to a sitting position and I watch as his shoulders slump. I quickly sit up beside him and wrap my arm around his tense shoulders and pull him closer.

"I will stay tonight," I tell him softly.

XXXXXXXX

Hearing Stella give in was almost as painful as hearing her voice when she talked about going home all alone. "You know I want that," I start in a quiet tone, unable to raise my eyes to look at her. "And I know I am being selfish in my requests. You don't have to stay if you have things to do."

"I understand your concerns about Cameron waking up tomorrow and me not being there."

"But until we fix that, this is how it has to be," I huff and Stella puts her head on my shoulder. "I guess I have a lot of thinking to do."

"Ah knew you'd be busy tomorrow. But please don't stress," she teases and I can't help but smile. "Mac, think about it, which is easier, telling Cameron that I had something to do and he'll see me again soon, or letting him wake up and find me only to have me leave and then wonder when I don't come back?"

As much as I hate to admit it, Stella's words make sense and I can only nod my head in agreement. "I better agree or else right?"

"Sometimes I think you disagree just so you can have me administer the _or else_," Stella teases as I lean back and take her with me. My arms wrap around her, holding her close as I start to hungrily devour her lips.

"You would be right," I whisper with a wide smile. Stella presses herself into me once more and as our passionate make out session starts to increase I feel my urges for her starting to increase and know I'll have to stop soon or force her to offer me a much needed sexual release. But knowing I have already shared intimacy with her twice today, I'll go to sleep tonight a happy man.

"I should get you home."

"Mac?"

"Hard to have you pressed up against me like this and not want more."

"What on earth ever happened to self control?"

"Don't have any when it comes to you," I confess with a small smile. "I won't see you tomorrow will I?"

"You are really asking for aren't you?" Stella teases as she playfully grabs my inner thigh and I can't help but offer an automatic outburst of laughter. "Serves you right," she continues as I quickly pull her hand away. However, I think I know how I'll spend my Sunday, ring shopping with Cameron. But on Monday I want to go and see Sinclair. Do I tell her or let it be a surprise? A surprise. We regrettably push ourselves away from the couch and head for the front door; my mother waiting for us to leave before she comes to stay with Cameron until I get back. We talk about our plans for the upcoming week and both agree to go and see the Messer's on Wednesday. The ride back to her apartment is spent talking about the day we just enjoyed, from the rides, the petting zoo, dinner with my mother and then relaxing afterward.

"I'll call you tomorrow," I whisper as I plant one last kiss on Stella's warm lips as I linger at her apartment entrance.

"You better," she playfully warns.

I kiss her once more and then regrettably take my leave, trying not to dwell on the fact that she's now alone and not with me and my son where I know where she belongs. The ride home my mind is pondering what steps are next. The proposal is a given and Stella told me she wasn't interested in a big wedding and would be more than happy if we went the same route as Danny and Lindsay or wanted to have a small private lunch gathering; both of which suited me fine, just as long as it was sooner rather than later.

"I'm glad today went so well for you," my mother tells me in a soft tone as I hang up my coat and she prepares to go back home.

"She hates being alone now and I can't blame her."

"You'll soon remedy that."

"We talked about getting married again," I confess and my mother's face lights up.

"Next weekend?"

"It is that obvious?" I sigh and she nods her head.

"And when are you going to talk to Sinclair?"

"Monday morning," I answer in truth.

"You have that doubt in your voice again McCanna."

"I want her here, it was so tough to leave her all alone at her apartment. I mean hard to hear Cameron call her mummy and then not have her here the next day."

"And? She wants that too right?"

"She does."

"And?" My mother urges. "What are you still afraid of?"

"I just want her to be happy."

"You know I have mostly known Stella through the things you have told me; never really spending much time observing her in action until late. Certainly wasn't expecting to hear Cameron call her mummy as soon as he is. But when I saw the looks on your faces when you got home from the park; the looks on both your faces in the pictures; the way she interacted with Cameron before and after dinner; the way he loves her so much; the way she loves him just as much and you; the playful banter she engaged me in and the way she looks at you all tell me one very important thing."

"Whats that?"

"She couldn't be happier. This is what she wants. Take her my son; take her and live your life. I know you want that. If you are happy then she will be also. And it's very evident that she makes you happy and loves you both, more than anything. Stop analyzing everything like you like to."

I can only smile at my mothers words as she takes her leave. I wander over to my sons room and look inside; smiling at his face at peace. I'll have to be very casual around him tomorrow but long for the day, which I hope is soon, when he'll wake up and finds us both together. And I hope that is next weekend. If Stella wants it as much as me then what are we waiting for? Work.

I head into my bedroom and by the time I am in bed, my mind is filled with happy thoughts of today and when I open my eyes next, the sun is already up and Cameron is rushing into my room.

"Daddy!" Cameron exclaims as he jumps on the bed. I half expect him to ask where Stella is but at four maybe I am giving him too much credit in wondering adult things. We tussle a bit before it's time to hit the shower and then get our day started. Already my mind is in misery, wondering what Stella is doing and how she'll spend her day. I would hope it would be dull without us, but then I sharply remind myself that is selfish and I need to allow her her space to get her own personal things done.

"Cameron do you want to come with daddy shopping today?" I ask as we linger around breakfast.

"Why?" His favorite question comes to the fore.

"To buy a present for Stella."

"Why?"

"Because I want to ask her to marry me."

"Why?"

"Because I love her."

"Wh..." he starts but I quickly poke his side and he stops and laughs. "Dadda," he moans as I hold onto his arm and won't let go.

"Stop asking why," I tell him and smirks.

"Why?" He asks again just to bug me.

"But if you are a really good boy for daddy today, we'll stop by the toy store on the way home and you can pick out whatever you what...within reason," I add the last part but I doubt he heard. After the word toy store he was already shouting for joy. Oh if only the rest of life were that easy. I quickly clean up and then it's off to the mall in search of a ring I can afford. Cameron holds my hand as we go in search; getting side tracked very easily and pulling me in any direction that has toys at his eye level. However, I would just pull him back and offer a fair warning and he would quickly halt his unruly actions and allow me to continue.

I come across a small jewelry store that says is specializes in ethnic rings and venture inside. The owner greets me, saying he's originally from Greece and wondering if would be interested in anything with that kind of flair.

"My soon to be wife is part Greek," I tell the man as he pulls out a ring with a modest diamond, carefully wrapped in white gold. He shows me the underpart which has _I love you forever_ stamped in Greek letters and a lump forms in my throat as I picture Stella's beautiful face as she accepts it.

"There is also a matching band for you Sir," he informs me as he pulls out my ring. I try it on, my eyes fixed on the band of silver on my hand and my eyes almost want to water. Thankfully Cameron tugs at my jacket and I am able to quickly regain my composure.

"What do you think Cameron?" I ask as I show him Stella's ring.

"It's pretty," he states shyly as he looks up at the strange man and then quickly disappears behind my leg.

"I'll take them both," I state as I pull out my VISA to make a down payment. I give him Stella's ring size and then bend down to Cameron who seems bored out of his mind.

"Can we gos sees mummy?" He asks with a small pout and my heart breaks at the sad tone in his voice. I want so much to lie to him right now, just to soothe his tender mind but I can't. So I come up with the next best thing, I stall.

"Mummy is busy right now but we'll see her real soon okay?"

"Want to go now!" He insists with an angry expression and I know I have to keep my frustration in check. I kiss the top of his head but he crosses his arms when I don't answer.

"Cameron I am not going to argue with you," I tell him a firm but low tone. "Remember what I said earlier. If you were a good boy we could go to the toy store? Are you going to behave for daddy? It won't be much longer, I promise."

He finally nods his head allowing me to exhale heavily before I push myself back up, sign the VISA slip and then gather up the two velvet boxes and carefully stow them away inside my inner coat pocket. I take Cameron by the hand and true to my word stop by the toy store to get him a toy of his choice. After what seems like a slow painful eternity, Cameron finally picks a new Thomas the Train piece and we head for the cashier and then home.

"Let me see them," my mother asks eagerly and I pull out the rings and show them to her. She looks up at me with happy eyes before she hugs me close and whispers _it's about time_ before letting me go. "When?"

"Friday if I'm lucky," I tell her in truth. "We actually talked about something small or maybe even going the same route as Danny and Lindsay...I know it seems like it's cheating but..."

"Cheating? Do the Messers feel that way?"

"No they are great couple, happy and very much in love."

"And? In what way do you feel it's cheating?"

"I know Stella said she didn't want a big wedding and..."

"Are you listening? You need to do that more. She wants to be with you and doesn't need a big show to tell you how much she loves and wants this."

"I want this so badly but..."

"McCanna you want to do things properly and no one will fault you for that. Only one more hurdle to cross right?"

"Will you even like Manhattan?" I ask with a gentle frown as she turns to leave.

"Will my family be there?" Is the question she leaves me to ponder. I hurry for the phone, not able to dial Stella's number fast enough.

"Hello handsome," she greets me and I can't help but smile.

"Hello beautiful," I reply and she gently laughs. "Missed you today," I utter in truth.

"Me too," she sighs. "So what did you do today?"

I tell her about my day, minus the ring shopping of course and lightly curse myself when she sounds sad when I tell her that Cameron missed his mummy.

"I'm sorry Mac, I know that couldn't have been easy for you."

"Very soon Stella," I tell her as I run a hand through my hair.

"Mummy?" Cameron's ears perk up when I mention Stella's name. He rushes toward me and grabs the phone. "I miss you mummy."

I hear her offer him a few words and he starts chattering away. Before he tells her what I bought today, I quickly take back the phone and tell him his talking time is over. But then I hear silence and I know hearing Cameron say he missed her was as hard for her as it was for me; my heart broke in that instant.

"Stella?"

"Not soon enough Mac," she whispers softly with a sad sniffle and I can tell those few minutes talking to Cameron have affected her instantly.

"Stella, I'm sorry if he..."

"I miss you both."

"What did you do today?" I ask as I ease myself back into the couch, watching Cameron playing with his new toys and smile.

"Got some personal stuff done," she starts to explain. And even though to most it would sound like every day mundane things, I wish I was with her doing them together.

"Did you call Lindsay?"

"I did and she literally screamed into the phone," Stella laughs and I can picture it all too clearly in my mind. "She's waiting for Lucy to get to know you a little better so we can all arrange a play date for her and Cameron."

"A what?" I ask with a slight smirk.

"I know. Is she good enough for our son?" Stella asks and I can tell by her tone she is smiling. _Our son_, is the affectionate term that now dances around in my head. "But other than our high standards what do you think of that idea?"

"Babysitting Lucy and Cameron? Will we survive?"

"We will. Okay so before we drown in melancholy, what should we bring?"

"Pardon? Where?" I counter and she laughs again. We talk more about what to expect, Stella once again calming my fears about having dinner with two people, I also felt I left in the lurch. Sadly, an hour passes and I know I need to make Cameron dinner. We part by promising to talk tomorrow, but what she doesn't realize is that tomorrow I'll be at her office in person. I hang up the phone and then go in search of my son, take him out of his bedroom and get him to help me with dinner. Even reading with him doesn't do anything to calm my fears about facing my former Superior and old team tomorrow. I think I'll have a heart attack on the spot.

"Damn it!" I groan the next morning as I look at the time and frown. I had purposely set the time early so I could get to Sinclair before his day really got started. My nervous tension is so high this morning as I remember how he and I parted. But when I asked for a confidential meeting via email, he had phone and told me in person he was looking forward to it. I forgo the coffee as I am already on edge and finally head for the door, my heart racing.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay to drive?" My mother asks as she watches me with Cameron held tightly in her arms.

"I'm taking a cab," I tell her in truth. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need it," she states kindly.

I offer her a firm nod before I take my leave, my brain trying to ponder each outcome as I sit in the cab on the way into Manhattan. As my old building nears, part of me wants to tell the driver to turn around and head back to Jersey. But I know that I order for Stella and I to move forward, I have to take this step. What I dont know is that Lindsay has already told the team, in case they run into me, not to ask questions and just act like have always belonged there.

I pay the driver and then slowly get out of the cab, my heart racing as I head into NYPD Headquarters and up to Chief Sinclair's office.

"Welcome Mac," he greets me with a warm smile and some of my nervous tension starts to ease. He gestures for me to sit as he takes a seat beside me. He hands me a small box with a new Transformers toy in it and I look at him in surprise.

"Stella told me he likes Bumblebee."

"He does, thank you," I reply quietly as I look at the box now fiddling in my nervous fingers. "I just wanted to come here today and clear the air I guess," I start in a calm tone, praying my heart doesn't give out.

"Too bad because I was under the impression you were here for a job interview," Sinclair tells me and I look at him in surprise. "Am I wrong?"

"Sir, when I left I said things that..." I start and he holds up his hand and I stop and look at him in wonder.

"That yes pissed me off but I know they were said in the heat of the moment right?"

"Still shouldn't have been said, no matter the circumstances."

"You know there is a reason I never filled that position," Sinclair pauses with a heavy sigh.

"Why is that?"

"Stella, aside. Although she was the driving force behind keeping it open. Guess she gets to tell me, I told you so," he chuckles and my face finally relaxes. "The real reason Mac? This is the largest crime lab in the city and you were the only man that could keep it running smoothly and keep my ass out of the hot seat. It's more than respect; I need you back as my right hand and this lab needs their leader back."

"Sir, Stella is..."

"Oh I need her. She's done a terrific job over the past four years but this is where you belong, at her side. Trust me she's happy to relinquish full supervisory control back to you and take up a co-supervisor role."

"My schedule has changed and..."

"Right, only on call for the Mayor's office," he smirks. "I guess I can live with that. I know what it's like to have family demands."

"But..." I try to protest, wondering why he's not chewing my head off for my behavior when I left.

"What is it Mac?"

"Just like that?"

"Did you seriously expect me to kick your ass as I would have if you had come back a month later? Yell at you like an unresaonable child?"

"Something like that."

"Would you want to come back then?"

"Good point. But I mean we didn't part on very good terms."

"It was strained to say the least. But it's over right. I mean damn it Mac, it's been four years. I don't know every detail about why you did what you did and I don't think I want to know. But I have held that position up until now; I won't hold it forever."

"My team..."

"Your team is here Mac, waiting for you to come back. Your Jersey team if I'm not mistaken there is a very capable CSI already waiting to take your place; and quiet eagerly I might add."

"Why do I have a feeling I have been set up," I shake my head.

"Oh Riley is bright but not that bright," Sinclair smiles. "This was my idea. What do you say?"

"You want my answer today?"

"Today? I want to hear you say yes _right now_."

XXXXXXXX

Today is passing by in slow misery. I can't help but wonder what Mac is doing and as I look at the clock am mentally screaming for it to move to Wednesday already. I turn and look out the window a case file in my hand waiting to be opened.

Waking up alone yesterday morning was as painful as it was this morning. I know Mac wants to make an official proposal but in all honesty, I'd get married tomorrow if I could. I have waited for a happy family life with the man I love all my life and now that it's almost within my grasp, it feels like I might never be able to obtain it. Even telling Mac on the phone yesterday that I was fine, was a lie. The apartment suffocated me with silence during those slow painful hours alone; and I was so thankful for the break I forced myself to take or I would have gone stir crazy. What I didn't tell Mac was I spent the better part of the afternoon, arraning something for us; for our future. And I just hope when I see him tonight he'll like it. And when he told me that Cameron missed me, I know it can't happen soon enough.

I had already talked to the team about if they see Mac drop by to act like it's normal to see him again and just ask about how his son is doing, not press him for sordid details about how Cameron Taylor came into the world. I lean back in my chair, unaware that I am now being watched by a warm set of blue eyes.

"Miss leaning against this door post," Mac's warm voice breaks me from my thoughts and I let out a small gasp as I quickly turn to face him. At first I give my head a shake to see if the image before me is real but as he walks into my office I can see that I'm not alone.

"Mac? Is that really..."

"I'm here, in person," he states in a quiet tone.

"How um...what is..." my voice trails off and he smiles. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"How are you feeling coming back in here?"

"I'm surprised I haven't died from heart failure yet," Mac tells me with a frown as his eyes nervously shift around my office. Seeing him sitting there across from me seems so natural and I know when he takes his leave, he's going to leave another void that only his presence will fill.

"So did you um...talk to anyone else?"

"Came to see you first," he admits and my face lights up instantly. "I wasn't sure what to expect from everyone else."

"Did you talk to Sinclair?"

"I did."

"And?" I ask as a faint smile starts to tug on my lips.

"And he told me there are a few new pieces of equipment that I better familiarize myself with."

"Mac?" I dare to ask my ears not believing his words; my eyes wanting to water, but my heart telling me it's true. Mac's coming back. "Are you saying that..."

"I told Sinclair I would have to ask you first as you are the current supervisor of this lab."

"You want my permission?"

"Approval?" He asks warmly.

"You never needed it; I never wanted you to leave."

"Just wanted to be sure."

"When um...do you start?"

"When do you want me?"

"I want you right now," I wink and his face slightly blushes. "It's almost too good to be true Mac."

"I guess tomorrow finally caught up with me. Back where I belong right?"

"Not soon enough," I mention in truth. "So when, two weeks? Same as you gave Sinclair?"

"He gave me one," Mac smiles.

"Too bad it wasn't tomorrow," I tell him as a friendly face makes itself known.

"Mac!"

XXXXXXXX

The walk from Sinclair's office to Stella's was one of guilt and excitement. I did feel guilty about facing the team after so long and especially after what I did; I really had no right to say yes to Sinclair without talking to the team first so told him that I would say yes right now on one condition; talking to Stella and then the core team members to see what they wanted. What if they told me to go to hell?

While part of me still held on to negative feelings about when I left the other part; the part that thankfully won, told me to hold my head up high and swallow my guilt; this is where I truly belong.

"Mac!" Danny exclaims as he practically rushes into Stella's office and gives me a bear hug, attracting the attention of both Adam and Sheldon, who come hurrying to see the commotion. In a matter of minutes my face is beet red and my heart racing once again as I am bombarded with happy greetings.

"Why is your coat on, we have evidence to process," Sheldon teases as I just stand fixed in place, trying to endure the attention.

"Boss, welcome back!" Adam gives me a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Got some new computers for you to destroy," he teases and I am thankful that especially with Adam, things aren't strained or awkward.

But as I listen to them chattering away about the new case, how good it was for me to be back, not one of them mentions the past as I had so falsely assumed. I look over at Stella who offers me a warm smile in return and now I'm wishing I was starting tomorrow.

"So when can I start passing things back to the _real _lead CSI?" Danny queries and the conversation comes to an immediate halt.

"I um," I start with a slight swallow. "Stella told me not to mention the past but I just want to say I'm sorry for how I treated you all before I left. It wouldn't be fair for me just to presume that you want me back as supervisor so if any of you have reservations or..."

"Mac?" Danny interrupts.

"Yeah."

"We are all under the same opinion."

"What's that?"

"About damn time you came back," he smiles and the tension breaks immediately. "The rest is done, forgotten."

"Really?"

"Seriously Mac, anytime you want to start is fine by us," Sheldon adds and the rest of the group agrees.

"Yeah tomorrow even," Adam pipes up.

"And bring Don back with you," Danny tells me in a serious tone and I look at Stella who just shrugs.

"And bring by the Mini Mac," Adam states with smile.

"It's little Mac. You know Big Mac, Little Mac," Danny corrects and Adam just rolls his eyes.

We all talk a bit longer before the group breaks apart and it's just Stella and I left alone once again.

"Well?" Stella gently inquires. "Not as bad as you thought right."

"Haven't heard the gossip yet," I frown as I watch Stella get her coat. "I guess I should get going."

"Yes with me."

"What? Where to?" I inquire.

"Well I have a surprise for you and I was going to do it later but you showing up has forced me to take drastic measures."

"Where?"

"I am going to take you some place dark and attack you," Stella teases and my face automatically lights up.

"Think I would like that."

"When do you need to get back?" Stella asks as she loops her arm into mine and leads me to the elevator.

"Really? Stella we are..."

"When Mac?"

"Told my boss I had some personal stuff to take care of so not in a hurry really. Why? Where are we really going?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Hardly," I smirk as the elevator stops at the basement and she leads me to the waiting Avalanche. Then before I can react she spins me around and then takes out a piece of dark fabric and presses it down over my eyes, fixing to blindfold me.

"What the..." I start as my fingers automatically move to the dark silk.

"Don't you dare," Stella warns as she tightens the cloth around my head and then wraps her arms around me, keeping my arms trapped at my sides. I am assuming no one is around and for that I am thankful. She kisses my ear and then let's go.

"Stella..." I start to protest only to have her spin me around one more and silence me with a warm kiss on the mouth; my heart already racing.

"Now leave that on," she instructs as she helps me into the back seat. "Or else."

"And what is the or else?" I lightly gulp as my core temperature starts to warm as she buckles me into the back seat, thankfully saving my pride from riding in the front seat blindfolded.

"I'll not marry you."

"That's not fair," I sigh.

"Like I said Mac, _or else_," she finishes with a laugh as the door slams shut and I am sealed inside. I hear Stella get into the front seat and curse the darkness that now holds me captive.

"Kind of a turn on to see you like that," Stella teases and I just shake my head.

"Seriously what if someone sees me like this?" I protest as the Avalanche starts up. But as soon as I feel us moving away, my anxiety starts to grow and I want to allow myself to see.

"The back windows are tinted black. No one can see."

"But where..."

"Mac, just relax, I'm not taking you anyplace bad. I have a surprise for you. Please don't ruin it for me."

"A surprise?" I ask weakly as my hands retreat to my lap with a heavy sigh. "A real suprise?"

"A good surprise," she confirms.

"Feels odd."

"What?"

"This. I mean it's kinda..."

"Exciting?" She goads and my face warms.

"Sure but um...odd that you're not here beside me to..."

"Take advantage of you?" She laughs.

"Right," I answer in a small tone as I take a deep breath.

"Mac, the worst is over for today so sit back and relax," she reminds me. "Sinclair gave you back your job and your team welcomed you back as I knew they would. Now it's my turn to offer you something to make your day even better."

"We are getting married?" I ask eagerly and she giggles.

XXXXXXXX

"Nice try."

Having such control over Mac right now, is driving me almost to the point of stopping the car and literally taking advantage of him right now. He looks so vulnerable sitting in the backseat, blindfolded, hair a bit rumpled and unsuspecting, and I have to keep my eyes on the road ahead or I know we'll cause an accident.

The surprise is what I tended to yesterday, only telling him the boring details but leaving out something very important to our future happiness. I knew that Mac was going to see Sinclair, as Sinclair told me the moment Mac booked the meeting. I am not mad at Mac for not telling me as I know he needed to do it on his own without anyone else telling him it was the right thing to do; or telling him it's what I wanted. Although not a day has passed in four years when it's what I didn't want.

As we near the place of the surprise, it's my heart now that is beating faster. Will he like it? Will he be mad that I took it upon myself to make such a big decision for us both?

"Stella?" Mac asks in a quiet voice as I stop the truck. "Can I um...take this off now?"

"No," I tell him and his lips offer a slight pout. But in a matter seconds I am at his side and helping him out of the back and into the warm building before us. "Relax Mac, we are in the underground parking," I tell him as I feel his body tense in my grasp.

"But..."

"It's a control thing for you right?" I ask softly as I guide us into the elevator and press the button of the desired floor.

"It's...yes," Mac finally sighs as I give him a squeeze.

"Just be happy I didn't cuff you also," I tease as I kiss his cheek. "Course I still might," I whisper as my face lingers by his. "Damn you smell good," I offer and his lips curl upward.

We reach the floor and I once again feel Mac's body stiffen in my grasp. "Almost there," I tell him as I pull out the single key and turn the door and lead us inside. "And here you go," I tell him as I gently remove the dark silk from his eyes and allow him to see where I have taken him.

Mac quickly looks around, a deep frown quickly replaced by a wondering glance. His eyes travel around the empty apartment and then rest on me.

"Where are we?"

"Come here," I whisper as I take him by the hand and lead him to the window to look out. Mac looks back at me with a frown.

"But this is..."

"My building. That's right."

"And so this would be.." his voice trails off as he turns around and looks at the empty space before him.

"Our new home."

"What? Our...our what?"

"Surprise Mac."

"Stella...this is...our...pardon?"

"Yes that's right, this is our new home. It was the final detail right?"

"Final?"

"Well work is taken care of right?"

"You knew?"

"Sinclair told me."

"Why didn't you..."

"Need you to do it on your own Mac, and you did. I hope you like it."

Mac turns and looks at me and for a split second his eyes mist over. He pulls me into his arms and plants a firm kiss on my lips before whispering, _I love you so much,_ into my ear and then looking at me directly. "So then yesterday?"

"Told you I was busy," I wink. "I hope you're not mad."

"Mad? Hardly. I'm amazed. Almost too wondeful to beleive it all."

"Beleive it Mac. Our happy future is just around the corner."

"How did you um..." Mac's voice stops. "Should I even ask?"

"Simple. The bigger apartment came up a few days before Sinclair told me. I had put a hold on it. I got a text from Sinclair late Saturday night and this is what I did Sunday."

"But my mother."

"Already arranged to have my apartment; which is two doors down."

"Does she know?"

"She will when you tell her."

"You did all this for me?" His voice barely manages.

"No. I did all this for _us_," I correct before I guide his lips back to mine. "Care to christen a room?" I ask between soft moans.

"Thought you'd never ask," Mac mumbles as he lifts me into his arms and carries me toward the large Master bedroom. "This is our room after all."

Mac gently lowers me to my feet as we quickly start to remove our coats for something soft for the floor. Mac's warm hands move to my sweater, slowly easing it over my head before his lips lock with mine once more. Not sure if it was the mental notion of making love during working hours, but our session, as passionate as it was gave new meaning to the lunch time 'quickie'.

"Sorry if that was fast," Mac smiles as his fingers play with some unruly curls as we lay half naked on the hardwood flooring.

"Was worth every minute," I reply as I taste his salty lips once more.

"Do you have to go back to work?"

"I do," I answer with a slight frown. "Apparently I have a new employee starting next week and he's very demanding."

"Oh really?"

"Already asking for the large vacant office right beside mine."

"Maybe he likes you."

"Well he better be careful," I playfully warn.

"And why is that?"

"I might have to start playing favorites."

"Ah so then he can bribe you?"

"I'm sure he has _something _I might want from him."

"Mmm and what would that be?"

"Oh that is for me to know only."

"You really like doing that to me don't you?"

"Very much," I tease as I kiss him once more. "Now were did that blindfold get to?" I ask and Mac just chuckles.

Regrettably we both know we have to get back to reality and so with two heavy sighs we both start to get dressed once again.

"Your shirt is rumpled," I mention as I slowly button Mac's dress shirt. He takes my hands and holds them, stopping my actions.

"Thank you," he tells me seriously and I offer a warm smile. "Thank you for doing all this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to show you how much I love and appreciate you for all you have done."

"You are not the only one working to secure our future Mac. I love you and want our future just as much as you."

* * *

**A/N:** okay I know this chapter was heavy Mac but he had most of the things to do to get them back to where they wanted to be so that's why. hope that's okay and you still want to see a bit more. Please let me know and thanks!

**PS**: NY Stories updates tomorrow


	13. Old Friends and New Starts

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 13 - Old Friends and New Starts**

**A/N: **On a sad note, it was just confirmed for us yesterday that some 'friends' have died in the Haiti earthquake (confirmed by a close friend living just outside the downtown area of Port au Prince). We like everyone else were waiting on news, any kind of news and it was the worst kind to get. Please if you can do anything to help, anything would be much appreciated as the situation down there is bleak at best. My prayers go out to their families and friends still down there or up here. I have tried to finish this the best I could. I just hope this chapter and tomorrow's make sense as my brain is still kinda fuzzy. So I am trying to keep myself busy and my mind focused on writing as it brings me a small amount of happiness right now and keeps me from going off the mental deep end! (eek) Thank you all in advance and please forgive if there are any errors.

* * *

_"You are not the only one working to secure our future Mac."_

"I know but I don't know if I say thank you enough."

"You are welcome," I answer firmly and he gives me a small nod of his head. I press the spare key into his hand as we walk back into the main living area.

"Like the fireplace," Mac mentions as his eyes once again take in everything.

"I like the kitchen," I state and Mac nods his head.

"I like it all. When um...do we move in?" He finally turns back to me.

"It's ready now. My stuff will be easy. It's just the three of you."

"I guess I have some phone calls to make this afternoon."

"And I guess talk to your boss," I suggest."

"Oh no, Sinclair already did that," Mac smirks. "As I said to him, I think I have been set up."

XXXXXXXX

Stella stops us at the door and turns me to face her. "See Mac, it's not just me that wants you to be happy."

"Are you mad I didn't tell you I was going to see Sinclair?"

"Figured if you wanted to back out then no one would think less of you," she states and I just shake my head. "Scary how well I still know you isn't it?"

"Very."

"I am not mad. Are you mad I did this without you?"

"No."

"See how meant for each other we really are," she whispers as she brings my lips to hers and tastes them one last time. "Come on handsome we gotta get back."

The ride back to her lab is once again filled with talk about the move, me already mentally making arrangements to get the movers after I have talked to my current supervisor in person; and then my existing team. In reality, I'm not that upset to be leaving my current team as I did miss the cohesive family environment that I had worked so hard to create with the team I left behind. Saying sorry to them today was the right thing to do. I had to and not just for them; but for my own piece of mind.

"So Wednesday night at the Messer's right?" Stella reminds me as she brings the Avalanche to a stop beside my Suburban.

"Right. I wish I was coming up there with you right now."

"One week Mac and then you will be."

I lean over and plant a warm kiss on her cheek before pulling back with a smile. "I'll call you tonight."

We take our leave and then I watch her turn and offer me a smile and wave before the elevator doors take her from my view. I quickly push my own truck back into traffic, my mind now determined to get the ball rolling. Sinclair will take care of the paperwork for my transfer from New Jersey to Manhattan and I'm glad he never filed my resignation with the NYPD or I might have had to take an entrance exam all over again.

"Hate to lose you Mac," my supervisor states with a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry Sir," I offer simply, not sure what to say. "I have a replacement in mind..." my voice trails off as I finally settle into my chair to discuss the next supervisor for the NJ lab and my departure in a weeks time. He wasn't pleased with the timing and I'm not sure what Sinclair used as clout, but I'm glad I won't have to drag it out too long and am not about to question anything.

I quickly head back to my office and then call for the movers, wanting everything in place this weekend if possible so that when I start fresh on Monday, hopefully my wife and myself will both be coming home to be with our son; to a home that is not far away.

I feel a lump form in my throat as I look at the picture that is now my computer wallpaper; a picture of the three of us at the petting zoo on Saturday. "I love you Stella," I whisper as I think of how much she has done to make this all possible. "I know I don't deserve her," I mumble as I hurry to finish my work so that I can get home and tell my mother the good news.

"Daddy!" Cameron shouts as I finally push myself through the door, an hour later than I normally would be.

"Sorry I'm late," I tell my mother as I hug my son close.

"How did it go?"

"I start back there next week," I inform her in a quiet tone as I look at her with a slight frown.

"Sinclair didn't chew you out?"

"He tried but then figured he'd save it for at least a month," I tell her with a half smile.

"Don't kid yourself Mac, he knows good help is hard to find. Speaking of help...did you talk to the rest of the team?"

"I did, well most of them."

"And I see you survived the stoning you said you'd have to face."

"Just didn't think they'd be so accepting," I huff as I slowly head into the living room, placing my suit jacket over the back of the chair and taking Cameron in my arms as I ease myself down onto the couch.

"Why? McCanna have you lost sight of the fact that it has been four years?"

"I guess so," I state with a mild sigh.

"Well it's where you belong. And how did it go with your team here?"

I finish telling my mother about my full conversation with Sinclair, talking to my supervisor here, Riley and a few other details. But she can tell that something else is up.

"You have been trying to downplay that cryptic smile since you got home. What surprise did Stella give you?"

"Stella?"

"Sinclair? Trust me there is only one person on this planet that could ever have that affect on you."

"Stella um...she got a new home for us," I mention weakly as my eyes are still fixed on my son as he fiddles with something in his lap. "I almost wasn't sure how to tell you."

"Really where?"

"Her current apartment building. Did you know?"

"I had an inkling but..."

"Even found a place for you."

"When are you getting married?"

"Saturday?" I counter and she smiles. "Or Sunday. I think I screwed myself time wise."

"McCanna, you have the ring, what are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to move in on the weekend and are starting a new job on Monday...well not new...but you know what I mean. Why are you waiting? You know she's going to say yes?"

"Cameron, will it be okay with you if I propose to Stella tomorrow?"

"Mummy?" He asks looking up.

"Yes mummy."

"Sure," he shrugs and I can't help but give him a small squeeze as I look over at my mother.

"I guess I'll be very busy this week."

"Sorry I know it..." I start only to have her lift her hand to stop me.

"Why are you sorry? I've never seen you so happy. Just try to stop smiling. Did you have lunch?"

"Why do you think I'm still smiling," I counter and she just shakes her head.

"Not food right?" She counters and it's my turn to shake my head. "Well I know I'm right, but it's what I like to hear. But tomorrow I'll call for..."

"Already done, you just need to keep Cameron out of the way and direct what needs to be done. They'll be here to pack up on Thursday, move us in on Friday and then we'll spend the joyous task of unpacking on the weekend."

"Thought you were getting married on the weekend?"

"Friday night? Ah damn it..." I lightly curse before mouthing, _I'm sorry_, to my son.

"And will you be taking a proper honeymoon?"

"Probably in a month. Maybe to Disney Land or something," I mention and Cameron looks up at me with a wide grin.

"Mickey! Yay! Legs go daddy!" He shouts as he throws his arms around my neck and holds on tight. I can't help but laugh at his enthusiasm.

"In a month Cameron," I tell and he looks at me in wonder before offering me a soft shrug of compliance.

My mother and I talk a bit more about all the things that will be crammed into this week before I finally push myself up off the couch and head into my bedroom to get changed, my mother insisting on making dinner for us this week.

"I wonder what _my wife_ is doing?" I ask quietly as I start to change. My eyes gently mist as I reach for the phone, knowing the weekend can't come fast enough. Only one more call to make. I pick up the phone and dial a friend.

"Mac?"

"Hey Don, got a sec?"

XXXXXXXX

"You seriously came back?" Lindsay queries as I walk into the hallway with a wide grin on my face; Mac's faint scent still tempting my hungry brain; even two hours later.

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah nice try with the innocent routine. I might have been stuck in the evidence room but I heard Mac was here and I know you two left together."

"Had to show him our new apartment."

"And?"

"And he liked it," I smile as I head into my office; Lindsay following. I turn to face her and she just rolls her eyes.

"Right and which room did you make out in?"

"We did not make out," I insist.

"Your sweater is on backwards on purpose then?" Lindsay counters in sarcasm and my face turns red. "Which room?"

"Bedroom. Damn it Mac," I gently curse with a laugh.

"Did he at least get dressed properly?"

"Hope so. He went to talk to his boss right afterward," I sigh as I quickly fumble with my sweater to get it changed around the proper way, thankfully not showing too much to any curious onlookers.

"So Mac starts next week?"

"He's excited and very nervous," I state with a slight frown. "Part of me actually wonders if he'll be able to go through with it."

"But you said he contacted Sinclair first right?"

"Right."

"Trust me, Mac will be here."

"Now he just needs to tell his mother and Cameron."

"Think he's home already?" Lindsay asks in surprise.

"Talk about role reversal huh," I smile as she just nods her head.

"But you two are still coming on Wednesday right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Any other surprises we need to be warned about?"

"You mean besides Mac coming back here? Us moving in together this weekend and possibly getting married?"

"WHAT?" Lindsay half shrieks and I have to laugh as she draws some stares.

"It's not official yet."

"So do you need me and Danny to clear...well anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who else is going to stand up with you two?" Lindsay asks in haste. "Sheldon and Adam?"

"Good point," I laugh. "I'll let you know."

We both look up to see Sid knocking on the glass.

"So I hear we are getting a new employee on Monday," he smiles as he enters.

"Gossip travels fast," I smirk.

"You better believe it," he confirms as he hands me a file. "About damn time."

"That's what Danny said also," I respond dryly.

The three of us talk a bit more before it's time to call it a day and then head for home. For the first time in years, as soon as I close my front door, my empty apartment is filled with a loud happy cry of joy.

"YES!" I shout in true immature fashion at the notion that this time next week, Mac and I could possibly be the family we have both always wanted. I quickly work to get my things put away and start dinner, wishing more than anything that Mac and Cameron were already here to share it with me.

I put the food into the oven just as the phone rings.

_"Is my wife busy?" Mac's warm voice greets me over the phone._

"Really like the way you say that," I tell him in truth.

_"So how did it go? I mean my return?" He's quick to ask._

"You mean did Sid know right away and Lindsay and the rest of the whole building? You are the talk of the town," I tease and I hear him let out a heavy sigh. "You knew that right?"

_"Stella..."_

"Mac, you know there will be the team who will support you no matter what. They won't ask questions and the details they do know are locked away from the gossip mongers. Those that do gossip would have no matter what."

_"Just hate being the focus of anything."_

"You are the focus of my love," I remind him in haste.

_"And that I am thankful for."_

"So did you talk to your mother? What did she say?"

_"Bout damn time son. Seems to be the sentiment of the day."_

"And what about her moving in here?"

_"She's happy and excited and now very busy."_

"Why do sound hesitant?"

_"Are you sure I'm not moving too fast? I mean rushing you to.."_

"Mac, if you were here right now I'd shut you up with a kiss. Stop worrying," I gently tease. "I love you and have waited for this for a long time. Are you okay with it?"

_"Yes."_

"Then don't worry. I know it seems fast but I think if we were to drag anything out, it would just cause more tension and neither of us wants that. You said Cameron is okay with everything."

_"He is."_

"Mac, he's all that matters in the long run. You and I will be fine, but the more he comes to terms with the idea of a family and me being in his life the more he's going to start to wonder if we aren't the loving family we pretend to be if I am only there when it's convenient."

_"I just want it to be perfect."_

"It already is. Now what else did you tell our son?"

_"He was very excited when I told him we'd be going to Disneyland."_

"What? Disneyland? Mac?"

_"Oh sorry Disneyworld as in Florida. Unless of course you want our honeymoon to be just us?" He asks in concern._

"No I um...I think that's one of the best things I've heard in a long time."

_"Really?"_

"The best. Besides whenever we want some time away, I think we know of a person we can leave our son with."

"_Our son? Like the sound of that."_

"Me too."

We talk a bit longer about the movers Mac has arranged not only for his and his mother's apartment but also for mine. We also talk about the discussion he had with his boss and then finally Don.

"And what did Don say? You know Danny wants him to come back with you."

_"Don said he would have to think about it," Mac huffs. "He's involved in a lot more things than he was before and...I guess he has some thinking to do. I wish I could tell Danny something firm when I see him on Wednesday, as I know he'll ask but..."_

"I'm sure Danny's asked him enough Mac. In fact, he probably got on the phone with him right after we left."

_"So um what are you doing tonight?"_

"Well I want to pack up a few personal things before the movers come on Thursday."

_"What kinds of personal things?"_

"Fuzzy handcuffs, some leather lingerie...Mac?"

_"Sorry, I'm heading for the door right now," he teases and I can't help but laugh. "That's a no?" He asks with a hint of remorse._

"Yes, because then I would never get any packing done. Even handcuffing you to the bed would keep me distracted."

_"And our Master bedroom has a locking door right?"_

"First thing I checked for. Along with the slotted headboard," I assure him and he chuckles. We talk a bit more about the move that will be happening in a few days but Mac never once mentions getting married and I am now wondering if maybe he just wants to live together first before actually putting our names down on paper, legally. But since he didn't bring it up, I didn't press.

"Okay so I'll talk to you tomorrow."

_"Goodnight Stella, I love you._"

"I love you too Mac, goodnight."

I hang up with Mac and then true to my words I go about starting to pack up the personal items I don't want the movers to happen upon; knowing that any of my 'adult' things are not for anyone else's viewing pleasure; outside of my husband of course.

"_My husband_," I state with a smile on my face as I move about my bedroom. The thought of coming home to my family and my husand and the thought of us taking Cameron to Disneyworld as a family brings happy memories to mind of us at the amusement park and the rest of the night just seems to fly by. And as suspected tonight, as soon as I lay my head down on the pillow, I am quickly whisked into a world of happy dreams of being a real family.

However, morning comes all too soon and Tuesday greets me a little faster than expected. With a slight grunt, I push myself out of bed and hurry to get ready for the day. All throughout the day the whole lab is buzzing about Mac's return; most happy but some still questioning. To the naysayers I just tell them if they don't like it they can leave, to the rest I agree that it's about time. I try to concentrate on the cases at hand but with the thought of Mac's return on Monday, even my brain is distracted from what I need to do.

"Did you actually work today?" Lindsay queries as her and Danny hover outside my office door.

"Surprisingly yes. Did you two?"

"Nah we made out in Mac's office one last time," Danny retorts and Lindsay just smiles and shakes her head.

"It was the locker room downstairs," Lindsay playfully corrects and this time its Danny turns to look at his wife and smile. "See you both tomorrow."

I offer a nod, finish my paperwork and then it's finally time to head home. Tonight however, I am heading home with a nervous stomach; the thought of the weekend events coming upon me sooner than expected. Needing to ask Mac a few questions I pick up the phone and dial home. When I get no answer I dial his blackberry but still nothing. Then I call his mother.

"This is a last resort Millie, but do you know where Mac is? I have a few details I need to work out with the landlord and I can't get a hold of him."

_"Stella, he had a few things to do. Maybe he's in an area he can't be reached. Try again in about ten minutes or so."_

"Right. Okay."

_"I can't thank you enough for doing all this," Millie tells me in a happy tone_. _"I know my son loves you more than anything and so does Cameron. Making them happy makes me happy."_

"I love them Millie and have waited for a happy family life since I was a little girl."

_"So what colors are you going to paint?_" _She asks me after a few more minutes of talking about my dreams coming true._

We talk a bit longer until I hear a soft knock at the door. "Millie, I'm sorry I have to go. I'll talk to you later." I quickly hang up and head for the door, thinking it's the landlord coming to get his answers. But when I open the door, I stare at the last two people I honestly expected to see.

"Mac?"

"Mummy!" Cameron shouts as he leaps from his father's arms into mine.

"Missed you sweet boy," I hug him tightly as Mac slowly follows me inside, closing the door behind him. "Not that I am complaining by any means, but what's going on?"

"Have something important to ask you Stella," Mac starts as he gently takes Cameron from my arms and stands him beside him.

"Mac?" I ask, my heart starting to race. "What um..."

"I love you Stella Bonasera, more than anything; my life included. My life has been empty and hollow without you and I don't want to continue alone. I made one huge mistake in my life by allowing myself to lose you once to something I did. I don't ever want to make that mistake again. You are in my heart and you are my life; you give me purpose and hope."

Mac takes a deep breath before he drops to one knee, my eyes already wet with happy tears. He pulls out a small black velvet box and gives it to Cameron. Just as Cameron opens the box and holds the amazing ring up for me to see, Mac asks me the one question I have longed to hear from him.

"Will you marry me? Us?"

XXXXXXXX

I wait with baited breath for Stella's reply; the few seconds it takes her to respond, feeling like an eternity; Cameron nervously fidgeting beside me. Stella kneels down and looks at Cameron and then at me; her eyes watery.

"I will marry you. Both of you," she whispers with a happy smile as she leans in close, plants a warm kiss on my lips and wraps her arms around my neck, whispering _I love you so much_, into my ear before she plants another kiss on my ear lobe. "Oh Mac, I love you so much. I would be honored to be your wife."

Cameron wraps his arms around both of us, forcing a small giggle from Stella's warm lips, which sends warm breath and small tingles down my spine. She pulls back and takes the ring from Cameron's hand and then allows me to slowly push the band of white gold up her delicate finger.

"Mac, it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Pales in comparison to you," I confess and a happy tear escapes the corner of her eyes. This time I have no hesitation in tenderly brushing the tear away before I kiss her once more and then stand up.

"Don't go yet," Stella begs and I know there is no way I could just ask her to marry me and then leave so I have no problem in putting her fears to rest. "I was going to make some dinner, two extra plates would be welcome."

"Trust me Stella, I wasn't just going to leave. Cameron, want to stay for dinner?"

"YES!" Cameron shouts as he wraps his arms around Stella's leg and holds on tightly, looking up at her with a sweet smile.

"Daddy bought you a rig," he tells her with a grin, forcing both of us to laugh.

"RiNG," I correct and he looks at me with a frown.

"RING," Cameron repeats and is then rewarded with a firm nod of my head.

"Actually I was hoping you'd ask or that we could go out."

"You know I just called your mother...was she stalling me on purpose?"

"I plead the fifth."

"Mac, you lie like a cheap rug," Stella tosses at me and I have to laugh. "But I think I know a few creative ways to get the truth out of you."

"Oh really?" I arch my brows as she kisses me on the cheek.

"Come on, let's get supper ready."

"But..."

"Nice try with the sad face Mac."

Thankfully I brought a few things to keep Cameron occupied so the takes his coloring book and crayons and plunks himself down at the table, allowing me and Stella to work at getting supper ready for the three of us.

I wrap my arms around Stella as she works on something on the stove and plant a warm kiss at the base of her neck.

"So that's what else you did on Sunday," she mumbles, pausing not look at her ring and I have to smile.

"That would be it. Do you like it?" I ask.

She twists herself around and faces me with a slightly perplexed look. "Mac, it's the most amazing gift I have ever gotten in my life. Second only to you."

"You honor me Stella," I whisper in return before I plant a warm kiss on her inviting lips. I allow her to turn back to dinner, wishing Cameron wasn't around so that I could make love to her right now. But as I look at my son, who looks up and offers a happy and contented smile, I know that my time with Stella can wait.

"I don't want to rush you about the wedding or anything and I know it's not fair for me to..."

"Mac, I told you I don't want a big wedding. I mean both Danny and Lindsay have bigger families than us and they were more than happy and satisfied with a small legal arrangement. I know you want to be a proper family for Cameron's sake and..."

"Not just his Stella, for all three of us. I want him to have a real family, not just one that sees each other when it's convenient. But a real everyday and everynight family."

"And I don't need a big wedding to know how much I love and want to be with you for the rest of my life."

"I just don't want you to have any regrets."

"I'll make you a deal. We make an appointment with city hall on Friday, get married with good friends at our side and then head to a nice restaurant for a great dinner and then home for some hot sex."

"Like the last part," I smirk and Stella playfully swats my ass.

"I'll no regrets Mac. I promise."

"And our official wedding night? Stella we'll have no furniture."

"We'll be moved in by then...just not unpacked."

"Not very romantic," I lightly moan and she looks at me in wonder.

"Well we could always have Cameron stay with your mother for one night and we can check into a nice hotel."

"The Plaza?"

"Well that is nice," Stella smiles as she turns back to dinner.

"And who are the good friends?"

"Oh Lindsay already has it arranged," Stella laughs but I just frown. "I know you are frowning but wipe that look off your handsome face and realize that they want to help us as much as we helped them."

I just shake my head as I help her bring supper to the table. And soon the three of us are sitting down like a regular family, discussing the move that will happen in a few days, telling Cameron that he'll meet a new friend named Lucy tomorrow night, there will be a special dinner on Friday and then on the weekend, he'll be getting a new room in a brand new city and yes gramma would be coming with them. We discuss what colors we'll paint our new apartment, which furniture we'll keep and which we'll toss and a few other details.

An hour later, Stella puts on the Cartoon Network for Cameron as we just linger around the table, discussing the days events like we used to do in the past; trading my old office for a dinner table.

"Like this..." Stella mentions as she takes my fingers and starts playing with them.

"What?"

"Just sitting here with you, my _husband_," she smiles as she emphasizes the last work, making my heart beat a bit faster. "And do you have a matching ring?"

"I do. So I guess when we get to that part, it'll be shorter because you will already have yours on," I smirk and she lightly laughs.

"Can't wait," Stella tells me as I look up and lock my eyes with her once more. "Have waited for this dream to come true for a long time Mac."

"Me too," I confess warmly.

"Shall we retire to the couch?"

"Would like that very much."

I take Stella by the hand and lead us to the couch, pulling her into my embrace and kissing the top of her head. Cameron looks up and immediately wants to be where we are. He jumps onto our laps, forcing a small gasp from Stella as he just laughs.

"Got you mummy," Cameron teases.

"I got you!" Stella laughs as she wraps her arms around him and starts to tickle his sides, forcing happy laughter to fill the once quiet room. Cameron finally settles into our lap, sitting between both of us as the Cartoon Network displays some childish cartoon that he seems to find amusing, Stella and I lightly talking.

XXXXXXXX

"You better be bringing that Twister game with you," I tell Mac and he smiles and nods his head.

"Trust me there is a reason Cameron will go to bed early during the week," Mac retorts with a smile.

Cameron distracts his attention with something allowing me to look back down at the band of white gold on my finger and smile, my heart always skipping at beat at the fact that in a few days my life is going to change once again; but for the better.

Mac looks back at me and then takes my ring hand in his and bring is to his lips and places a warm kiss on the band of gold before looking at me with a smile. "I love you."

My lips curl upward as I caress his face and bring his lips to mine and tenderly taste them. "Can't wait until you don't have to leave for the night."

"I wish I could stay tonight," Mac sighs heavily and then frowns.

"Cameron needs his bed," I insist. "Wait until he's asleep."

Mac tries to offer a small protest but realizes that I am right and so simply nods his head in agreement. We talk more about asking Danny and Lindsay to help us on Friday night with our modest ceremony and I assure Mac that since he took the time to arrange all the moves and some of the painters that I would arrange our reception dinner at a small intimate restaurant of our choice; also booking the honeymoon suite at the Plaza. The more Mac talks about us taking Cameron to Disneyworld as a family, the more excited I find myself becoming over a vacation destination. I had at one time romanticized the idea of Mac taking me to Greece and while that could still happen when I look back down at Cameron who is now trying in vain to stay awake, looking up at me with an adoring smile, I can't help but feel my heart warm toward the child I now call my own. I do, however, wonder if Mac would want another child, one with me? One that would be created between the two of us; one that I could give him. I think two would be enough but I somehow feel robbed that some stranger had the privilege of giving Mac such a wonderful gift and I might not be able to.

"Stella?" Mac queries after a few minutes of silence.

"Thinking about Disneyworld," I confess with a warm grin. "Always wanted to go there as a kid and now," I stop and look at him as I take his hand and hold it firmly in mine, "to be going there with my own family is almost too good to be true."

"It is true," Mac whispers as he leans in close and plants a warm kiss on my lips. "For me too."

We linger a bit longer before we hear Cameron gently snoring and my heart swells once more as I look at the small face pressed firmly against his father's firm chest. Mac gives me a nod and I know it's time to go.

"Daddy..." Cameron mumbles as his body shifts in Mac's strong arms. I help Mac stand up and then hurry to get Cameron's jacket and carefully put it on him; not taking any protests when Mac wants to head outside with his.

"I love how you take care of us," Mac whispers as he offers me one last kiss before the elevator doors close him away from view. I hurry back into my apartment but instead of allowing my mind to dwell on the silence, I am busy cleaning up, doing some more personal packing before finally calling it a night; falling asleep with dreams of us in Disneyworld filing my head. Morning comes all too quickly. I look at my ring and then decide to keep it in its black velvet box until it's actually time that way Mac and I can exchange rings together.

"We had to bribe Lucy to go to sleep last night," Lindsay offers as I head into the lab an hour later. "She's more excited than we are that you guys are coming over."

"Well we are also looking forward to tonight."

"So what did Mac think about us standing up with two?"

"He'll let you know tonight."

"Stella," she huffs and I just laugh as Adam and Sheldon walk up to join us.

"The whole lab is abuzz with Mac coming back," Adam informs me and Lindsay.

"The usual gossip?" I arch a brow.

"More yay's than nay's," Sheldon adds and my mind seems to settle. "Monday right?"

"Monday it is," I confirm with a small sigh.

"Stella?"

"Monday is going to be a big day in many ways," Lindsay winks as she takes her leave.

"Why do women do that?" Adam queries.

"They like to keep us guessing."

"And because it works," I tell him. "So what do we have?"

True to my suspicion the day passed by so fast and the next thing I knew I was rushing around trying to get ready while Mac and Cameron waited patiently in the front entrance. I quickly start to change when I hear a noise and turn around to see Mac watching me with a warm smile.

"I did knock," he smiles. "Please don't stop," he offers as I finish dressing. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him, pinning his arms at his sides and planting a firm kiss on his mouth.

"Think you'd like a strip tease?"

"Now?" Mac gently gulps and I chuckle. "Okay."

"Nice try gutter mind," I retort as I lead us out of the bedroom and up to Cameron who is waiting for us like a good boy. We finally get ourselves out of my apartment and into Mac's SUV and then on our way to the Messer's.

"Cameron, remember what daddy told you about being a good boy tonight?"

"Yes dadda," Cameron answers in a sullen tone.

"What is it?"

"Oh he didn't want to listen before," Mac sighs as he looks over at me with a slight frown. "Wasn't in the mood to behave so I had to take away his favorite toy."

"Mummy," Cameron starts to moan.

"You heard your father Cameron," I reply in a kind tone and Cameron stops to fuss. Mac looks at me and mouths, _'thank you,'_.

"Part of the job right?"

"Right."

We finally reach Danny and Lindsay's and I notice Mac's body start to tense. "You will be fine," I assure him as I take his hand in mine and hold it firmly. "One more step right? Come on Mac, let's go in."

"Welcome!" Lindsay states happily as she pulls me into a warm embrace and then without waiting for his permission, offers the same greeting to Mac. Lindsay then looks down at Cameron, who has for the most part disappeared behind his father's leg.

"You must be Cameron," Lindsay smiles as she bends down to see him. "Can you come out and say hi? Lucy!" She bellows and Cameron's blue eyes dart from the strange woman before him to the small girl hurrying to come and meet him.

"Cameron, say hi," Mac huffs as he ushers his son out from his hiding spot, forcing him to stand in front.

"Hi," Cameron offers in a timid voice.

"Cameron this is Lucy. Lucy sweetie this is the friend I was telling you about, Cameron Taylor."

"Want to play Barbie's?" Lucy asks loudly as she wraps her arms around Cameron's frame and squeezes.

XXXXXXXX

I can't blame my son for being nervous as my heart is nearing critical as well. But he looks up at me and I can do little more than nod as I help him remove his jacket. I watch with some amusement as Lucy takes him by the hand and literally drags him into a play corner of the living room, shoving two blond dolls in his hands.

"She gets it from Lindsay," Danny smiles as he offers Stella a hug and then much to my surprise me as well. We take our coats off and then follow them into the living room, my eyes darting nervously around. Danny brings me a beer and soon conversation focuses on what I have been missing the past few years, what is new, who has left and what I can expect upon my return.

"We sure are happy Mac," Danny tells me as I watch Stella follow Lindsay into the kitchen to help. "That you are coming back. You happy about it?"

"Ask me again at the end of the day on Monday...if I survive," I smirk as I look over at Cameron and Lucy playing in the corner and then back at Danny. "I kinda feel like I shortchanged her four years," I confess in a soft whisper.

"You know we don't fault you for that Mac. You know that right?"

"I know but..."

"Seriously she wouldn't have known the difference. You're here now and that's all that matters."

I take some small consolation in his words but still feel like I have let them down inside.

"So I hear you two want to get married like we did."

"DAN-NY!" Lindsay's voice bellows from the kitchen and I look up to see Stella offer me a sheepish smile.

I just smile in return but nod my head to Danny in confirmation. "Stella and I found a new apartment and I want us to be a proper family to Cameron and..."

"Mac, you don't have to justify your reasons to me. I think...we think it's great and would be happy to help out in any way we can."

"We'd like you to stand up with us, if that's okay."

"We love to!" Lindsay calls out before her and Stella start laughing.

Danny just rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "This is what I have to put up with. But seriously Mac, we'd love to. When?"

"Friday?"

"Friday it is."

Danny asks a few more questions and I finally find myself starting to relax once again. Neither ask about Cameron's mother or about my new lab, wanting to focus on only positive things about my return and our new family arrangement. A few minutes later I watch Cameron head back to me with a worried look on his face.

"Daddy..." he urges as he tugs on my sweater. I look past him to Lucy who's watching us with a sad expression.

"Cameron what happened?"

"I don't want to pays Barbie's anymore," he moans sadly.

"Lucy, I told you to offer something else besides dolls," Danny huffs in exasperation.

"Danny, it's okay, Cameron has to..."

"She has a few transformers!" Lindsay calls out once more from the kitchen and I have to smirk.

"Bumblebee! Danny can I?" Cameron exclaims happily. I watch Stella come back into the living room, take Cameron by the hand and lead him back to Lucy as she sits down beside the two of them, handing my now happy son something more to his liking and then a Barbie.

"She really wanted to play dolls," Lindsay laughs as she joins me and Danny in the living room. "I told her to be reasonable but she didn't listen. She gets that from Danny."

"Hey," Danny protests with a smile as the three of us watch Lucy and Cameron playing together, their banter happy coupled with Stella's laughter adds extra warmth and love to the room. Stella looks up at me, locks eyes and smiles, making my face instantly warm but thankfully the two happy onlookers don't say a word.

"Mummy looks at this," Cameron exclaims with a wide smile and this time both Danny and Lindsay look at me in wonder.

"No she told us," Lindsay assures me before I can say anything. "Just um...somehow comforting to actually hear him say it."

"I agree," I add in a half whisper as Stella finally pushes herself up and comes and sits down beside me. "Are they behaving?"

"Cameron is going along with whatever she tells him," Stella giggles as I watch my son with some amusement.

"He's Mac's boy alright," Danny teases and my face gently flushes. "Compliant to aggressive women."

"Hey," I offer in protest as Stella's and gently squeezes mine.

"Lucy gets that from Lindsay," he teases his wife before he kisses her cheek and she just smiles in return.

We finally push ourselves up and a few minutes later gather around the dinner table; Cameron and Lucy both sitting side by side on a raised bench. I look over at my son who is looking at his plate of food with interest before he picks up some peas and puts them on Lucy's place, forcing her to look at him with a frown.

"Cameron, don't do that," I gently warn, forcing Lindsay to look up in haste. "Sorry."

But then before anyone can react, Lucy takes the peas and throws them at Cameron. "Lucy!" Lindsay scolds in return. "Do you want to go do your room?"

"What do you say Lucy?" Danny asks firmly.

"Sowry dadda," she moans as her eyes turn red.

"To Cameron, for throwing food at him."

Lucy looks at Cameron with a grumpy expression before she begrudging utters, '_sorry_' in a hushed tone and the adults just groan.

"Cameron you started this now apologize to Lucy," Stella pipes up, much to my surprise and delight. Thankfully no other adult makes a fuss as Cameron looks at Stella with a frown; but doesn't listen.

"Cameron you listen to your mother," I warn and with the commanding tone of his father's voice finally turns to Lucy and also utters, '_sorry_' in a barley audible whisper. I just shake my head and look back up.

"It's okay Mac," Danny frowns as I put the few bits of food back onto the table and then look at them with a weak smile.

"Still learning," I huff and all three adults agree before we are swapping children's growing up stories. I had already told Stella most of them so was very thankful that she didn't stiffen when the conversation focused on Cameron's brief upbringing. Fortunately for me, none of them dared ask about Cameron's biological mother; to anyone concerned, Cameron Taylor's mother was Stella Bonasera, soon to be Stella Taylor; the way it should have been right from the start.

* * *

**A/N: **thanks everyone so much and hope you liked it! The rest of the dinner and then a surprise up next. Please let me know if you liked this before you leave and thanks so much.

**PS:** Day After updates tomorrow (hopefully)


	14. A New Home & A New Surprise?

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 14 - A New Home & A New Surprise?**

* * *

Neither Danny nor Lindsay make any remarks about Cameron's birth and so I am put out of my mental misery in wondering if I would have to explain my misgivings to friends and in front of my soon to be wife. Dinner finishes and then Lucy and Cameron disappear into Lucy's bedroom to play once again, leaving the adults to linger around the table with coffee and dessert.

We talk more about the move, how my mother factor's into all this, how my current supervisor reacted, what Flack might decide to do, the details about our new apartment and when we might go to Disneyworld.

XXXXXXXX

"I can't thank you enough for tonight," I tell Lindsay as I help her carry a few dishes back into the kitchen, leaving Mac and Danny to talk in the living room.

"We did it for all three of you," Lindsay replies warmly, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. "Mac looks very happy; your happiness is a given, _mummy._"

"Thank you for not making a big deal about it in front of Mac."

"I think its great how Cameron has taken to you already and how comfortable he seems in calling you mummy and listening to what you say...well for the most part."

"Just feels so right. I'm glad you aren't going to lecture us about rushing into this."

"Stella you and Mac have been friends longer than a lot of people have been married; most of us were just waiting until this day arrived. But with Cameron now in the mix I can understand you wanting to be together as a family and why not make it all legal, that is totally Mac. Besides...Stella Taylor, has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah it does."

But just before I can offer one more word to Lindsay, we hear a shout followed by crying and all four adults snap to attention. I reach the living room just as Mac and Danny enter Lucy's bedroom.

"Cameron Taylor!" Mac's angry voice directs toward his son. I reach the bedroom entrance to see Lucy crying and one of her dolls with a broken leg.

"He broke my doll momma!" Lucy wails as she rushes into her mother's waiting arms.

"She took my bumblebee!" Cameron moans in return.

"She's a girl Cameron and you are a boy and her guest, remember what I told you about playing with girls?"

"Mac...it's ok..."

"Danny I got this. Cameron you are coming with me," Mac states firmly as he takes Cameron by the arm and starts to pull him out of the room.

"No daddy!" Cameron shouts as he knows he's in for a spanking. "NOOO!"

I watch Mac disappear into the Master bedroom with a struggling Cameron in tow and then the door closes. I have to applaud Mac for his strength for being able to administer discipline and yet have such a strong bond of love between him and his son after it's all over. Still I know whatever he faces in there wont be easy at all and I now dread the day I ever have to do that.

"Lindsay I'm so sorry," I frown as Lindsay comforts his daughter.

"Stella, its okay," Lindsay answers with a slight smile. "Lucy's not completely free from blame. Are you Lucy?"

"He broke it!"

"Cameron is your guest sweetie, you need to share more. Now just for that, no more dolls."

"But..."

"You heard your mother," Danny warns. "If you whine you'll go to bed right now. Understand?"

Lucy's teary blue eyes look at her father in sorrow before she finally nods her head in agreement and we head back into the living room to wait for Mac and Cameron. I break away from the group and quietly make my way toward the bedroom, and slowly open the door. Mac's back is to me and I hear him explaining about playing with girls, being a boy and being stronger and how to act around those who are weaker; especially around toys that aren't his. His soft but firm voice and the way he looks at his son, cement Mac Taylor in my heart all the more.

Cameron looks at his father with a sad expression, tears running down his flushed cheeks, before he wraps his arms around his neck and gently cries. I'm sure that Mac didn't spare him a mild spank, but the fact that Cameron can still approach his father afterward assures me that Mac's fathering skills are something to be cherished and their loving bond is strong.

"You can come in," Mac softly calls to me and I slowly walk up to them and ease myself down on the edge of the bed, Mac still on his knees, his arms wrapped around Cameron's slightly trembling body.

"He's not used to playing with girls. Do you think they're mad at us?" Mac asks with a frown.

Before I can react, Lindsay and Lucy appear in the doorway and Lindsay answers for me.

"No Mac, this is all a part of growing up."

Mac turns around to see Lindsay approach. "Cameron what do you want to say to Lucy?" Mac asks his son.

"Sowry Lucy for breaking your dolly," Cameron whimpers with a sad face, his eyes still watery.

"Sowry for taking Bumblebee Cameron," Lucy whimpers in return before she pulls him away from Mac and gives him a big hug, resulting in a collective course of 'awww's from the three watching adults.

Cameron turns back from Lucy and pushes himself into my arms. "Mummy," he gently cries as my arms circle around him.

"I'm very proud of you sweet boy," I whisper as I kiss the top of his head and look at Mac with a loving smile. I watch Mac take his leave as Cameron and I linger in the bedroom. "You going to be okay?" I ask as I pull back and he nods his head. "Did daddy give you a spank?" I dare to ask and he nods as his eyes water once more and he buries his face in the folds of my arm. "You know daddy still loves you right?" I ask again and he nods his head once more. He finally stops his crying, wipes his red eyes dry and looks at me with a slight frown. I touch his flushed cheek and my heart nearly breaks at the soft expression of trust this small human before me is offering. It's humbling.

"And you know I love you too right?" I ask as I kiss his flushed cheek.

"Yes mummy," he whispers softly. "I love you," he states and my heart literally melts. I hold him for what seems like forever; knowing that I know my love for him will never fade, he's mine; my son.

"Let's go back and find daddy," I tell him as I stand up and offer my hand. Cameron takes my hand and allows me to lead him out of the bedroom and into the living room with the others. Mac and I lock eyes once more and he smiles and my heart is at peace. Cameron looks at his father who smiles at him as well before saying, _'go see Lucy and play nicely with the Lego_.'

I let go of Cameron's hand and all four adults watch as he slowly wanders over to where Lucy is now playing with some Lego blocks, her dolls being taken away for the rest of the night, and plunks himself down and everything is right with the universe again.

"It's like it never happened," I utter in amazement.

"If only adults could patch up their mistakes as easily," Mac confesses in a small voice and I look at him in surprise. He offers a tight lipped smile and thankfully for us, Danny is quick to change the subject.

"So I hear Don has a new girlfriend?"

"Emily is his girlfriend now?" I ask in shock.

"Well she's a girl who..." Danny's voice trails off as he looks at Lindsay with a sheepish smile. "Okay..."

"They had one date last Saturday and I guess it went pretty well," Lindsay informs them. "He called Danny at one AM."

"Thankfully they weren't having sex," Danny laughs as Lindsay swats his arm and rolls his eyes. "He could have?"

"But he didn't. So what's she like Mac?"

"Actually she's very nice and I think a good...um...well I guess match for Don," Mac confesses. "Plus he needs to be happy also."

"So where did they go?"

Lindsay starts into all the details of Flack's date with Mac's CSI as I lean back on the couch and delight in the feel of Mac's strong arm wrapped around my shoulder holding me tightly against his body, his heart still beating rapidly.

XXXXXXXX

Listening to Lindsay talking about Flack's date has somewhat distracted my mind on this evening. Part of it has gone very well and the other part; the part where my son acted up, is causing me to wonder if they'll ever invite us over again. But I have to admit that watching her give him a firm instruction earlier and then earning his love and trust after I had administered my discipline further cement my love for Stella as Cameron's soon to be permanent mother. I had worried if Stella would want the burden that comes with being a step parent but so far she has proved to me that she does want it all and I know our decision to marry on Friday is the right one.

Stella's body presses up against mine, offering my nerves some soothing warmth and my heart has finally started to calm. We talk a bit longer, mostly cementing details about our marriage ceremony that will take place at 7pm at City Hall and then the intimate dinner that will follow afterward; with only both teams invited, my mother and us. Neither Stella nor I wanted something with a lot of fanfare and think this will suit us both perfectly.

"Well I think it's time to get the kids to bed," I finally mention as we look over and see both Lucy and Cameron asleep amidst a scattering of toys.

"Thank you both again for tonight," Stella mentions as we push ourselves up and head over to retrieve my son. Danny stops me before I can pick him up and gives me a brief hug. Lindsay's is longer and I just smirk when she looks over at Stella and smiles. Stella hands me my jacket and both of us carefully wrap Cameron in his before I lift him into my arms and head for the door.

"See you both on Friday," I confirm as Stella opens the door and it's time to take our leave. Stella's arm loops with my free arm, the other of course holding Cameron tightly against my chest. We reach the SUV and I bundle Cameron into the back and get him ready for the drive home. I hold Stella's hand as silence starts to fill the cabin.

"Mac?" She gently breaks it. "You okay?"

"Aside from being angry with Cameron for pulling those stunts tonight, I'm fine."

"He's four," Stella reminds me and I have to smile; my heart warming at her defending him.

"I had to spank him and I hate that. It wasn't hard but...I often wonder if he hates me afterward."

"Mac, he loves you; if he hated you he would have cowered afterward instead of showing you any kind of affection."

"Still worry."

"I asked him Mac and he said he still loves you," Stella assures me and my hand around her tightens.

"Plus I think I over-reacted. I saw the broken doll, saw Lucy crying...and...damn it Stella, did I over-react?"

"I can see why you would. But you never have to worry about Cameron hurting her, he's got too much you in him."

"Not al..."

"Mac..."

"Right."

"You'll know for next time."

"Thank you for helping with him tonight."

"Mac, there will come a time when you won't need to thank me as you will know it's my job and my place at your side to love him, teach him, help him, care and tend to him and sometimes yes punish him."

"I'm happy you don't mind doing all that."

"Mac, I love him just as I love you. He's a part of you and when I look at him I see you," she tells me softly and my heart swells as she leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "And for the record, you will win father of the year."

"Right," I offer with a slight smirk.

"I am taking tomorrow and Friday off," she informs me; quickly changing the subject so I dont dwell on my lack of parenting skills. "For personal reasons," she smiles.

"I'm taking well a part of tomorrow and of course Friday."

"Did you talk to your mother?"

"She practically told me what to do," I smirk. "Shesh I'm a grown man."

"But you'll always be her son," Stella reminds me. "And yes I booked the honeymoon suite at the Plaza and the restaurant in the hotel. Trust me it'll be easier that way. And it's close to City Hall."

We talk more about the move in details until we reach Stella's apartment. However, knowing I cannot take Cameron with me or leave him in the truck I have to say goodbye right here. I cup Stella's face with my hands and bring her lips to mine and warmly taste her lips before pulling back with a smile.

"I love you," I whisper as she turns to leave.

"I love you too Mac," she smiles in return. "I guess we'll both be pretty busy tomorrow with the move."

"I know," I gently frown and her finger moves to my forehead and presses down, ensuring the lines quickly erase. "But I'll call you tomorrow when I can."

"I love you," she repeats one more time as I watch her take her leave and then get out of the SUV; my heart starting to ache for her already with each step that gets further and further away.

"I love you Stella," I whisper into the stillness of the truck as I slowly pull away and head for home. "Forever."

I reach home and put Cameron to bed, my mind and heart now too excited with the move tomorrow, my wedding on Friday, unpacking on Sunday and then starting back with my old team on Monday. "I think I need a drink," I chuckle to myself as I glance at some packing boxes my mother has already retrieved. She had spent most the day packing up her personal items and then helping with things such as my clothing and other items that might take some time. I slump down into a chair by the table and glance at some notes my mother has made. By the time her things are packed and ready to go; Stella's apartment will already be moved, some items into storage and the rest into our new home; my apartment will be next. We decided to put any duplicates into storage for now and then take an upcoming weekend to sift through what we do and don't need, instead of trying to figure that all out right now. My adrenaline now high, I push myself up, head over to the boxes and start to pack up whatever my left over energy will afford. Finally a few hours later, well into the morning, I slump down into my bed; dreams of holding Stella close filling my head as I am quickly whisked into the dark realm of sleep. But my blissful slumber is not as long as I would like.

"Daddeeeee!" Cameron shouts as he runs into my room and jumps on the bed. I offer a small groan as I roll onto my stomach and cast a sleepy gaze at the clock.

"Cameron it's only six," I moan as he pounces on my back, tugging at my sleep shirt to get up.

"Ups daddeee! UPS!" He shouts only to have me twist onto my back, grab him by the waist and hold his struggling body captive in my grasp. He laughs as he tries to free himself, poking my sides, which only forces warm laughter from my own lips. And Stella's words quickly come into my head that if Cameron did hate me for giving him the spank yesterday, my love has shown him that I do love him and I'll never push him that far away. But just to be sure I have to ask...

"Do you love your daddy Cameron?"

"Yes."

"And you know that daddy loves you very much right?"

"YES!" He shouts and my day is set.

A few gasps later, my arms loosen and he pushes himself away from my grasp; my ears picking up the sounds of my mother entering our apartment.

"Morning!" She calls out.

"Gamma!" Cameron shouts as he leaps off the bed and runs from my room.

With a slight shake of my head I push myself upright only to watch my mother walk into my bedroom with her grandson firmly clutched in her grasp. "Morning," she smiles. "How did it go?"

"Aside from you know who pulling a few stunts, it was okay," I gently frown. "Plus I had to give him a spank."

"It was his first real visit with other people McCanna. Brief encounters at the playground don't count. But next time will be better."

"Next time?" I arch my brows as I push myself out of bed. "Stella took today off."

"Smart woman, you should have done the same."

"I am taking tomorrow off and I have a few things to wrap up before I um..." I stop and offer a heavy sigh. "Before I leave there for good," I finish softly.

"All change is scary my son," she mentions softly. "But it's for the best. Are you having second thoughts?"

"No," I assure her with a firm smile. "Sarah told me they weren't going to make a big deal about me leaving and most of my office was packed yesterday but...I guess a week just seems like I short changed them."

"They will forgive you," she teases and I just roll my eyes. "Now my place is ready to go and I'm going to finish in here. What time do the movers come?"

"Seven at Stella's," I groan. "And eight here. You sure you are ready?"

"I have been waiting for this moment since Cameron came into your life McCanna, of course I'm ready," she smiles warmly as she puts Cameron down. "Cameron we are moving today, so let's go and get you dressed and then start to pack up your room."

He looks at me with a frown. "Moving?" He queries.

"We are going to live in a new home. You and me and mummy."

"Gamma too?" He points at my mother.

"Gamma too. And you get a new room."

"YAY!" Cameron shouts in joy. "...ucy too?" He asks and I look at him in shock and then up at my mother.

"She must have made quite the impression. Aggressive women to work well for Taylor men," my mother teases and I just shake my head.

"LUcy can visit anytime she wants," I assure him. I watch them leave and then it's time to get this day officially started. I quickly shower and dress, foregoing breakfast, grabbing coffee and telling my mother I'll call her on my way back from the office. As suspected as soon as I round the corner, my core team is waiting for me; Flack hovering around them.

"We know you won't be here tomorrow," Sarah starts as I slowly ease past them into my office quickly removing my coat and then facing them with a frown.

"And we know you don't want a big send off, but we had to come and thank you," Riley concluded his partners sentence.

"Actually I want to thank all of you. I came here under strained circumstances and I just don't want you all to think that I am leaving because of something that involves any of you."

"Don told us you are getting married to your old partner and going back to your old team," Emily smiles as she looks at Don with a warm glance. "And we are all very happy for you."

"I am very proud of you all and I hope you'll show as much support to Riley as you have to me. I guess I'll know who to call if we ever have to share a case," I state looking at Riley with a nod.

"No way Mac, I'm going to be like you. Just send the rest of the lackey's here to do it," he teases and the room relaxes. I gather hugs from Sarah and Emily as they take their leave, Emily's partner, TJ wishes me well; Riley lingering a bit longer, thanking me for the vote of confidence but telling me also he'll be calling me the first week to make sure he's doing things right; Flack still remains.

"How you holding up?" He asks in concern.

I offer a heavy sigh as I turn and look out my small office window. "Should have done this long ago but I guess...it's odd," I finally huff. "I feel like I am also letting them down but I am anxious to get back to my old team," I finish as I turn back to face him. "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess."

"I am not going to ask you about your decision as I'm sure Danny hounds you with that all the time. How are things with Emily?"

"I guess because she's so different from Jess, I don't compare and so things have worked out better than expected," he confesses with a slight shrug. "I think I like her."

"And you are coming on Friday right?"

"And miss you and Stella finally getting married? This day was ten years in the making. Of course I'll be there. And yes Emily and I are going together, her idea," he smirks. "Will miss working with you though."

"Don..." I start and he holds up his hand. "I guess it's hard on both of us, huh."

"Mac, don't...I'm just saying it. I will miss seeing you around here on a regular basis."

"I will too," I frown.

"So the big move today," he starts, changing the subject to keep us both from becoming bogged down in sorrow. We talk a bit longer before my superior quickly whisks me into his office, Riley in tow, wanting to secure the handover before I am gone. I told both that I will be available for any open cases until they are wrapped up and am only a phone call away; not really on the other side of the world as is the general consensus.

XXXXXXXX

"How are things there?" I ask Millie over the phone as I direct the last of my boxes into our new space and then head back to my now empty apartment to wait for Millie's things to arrive.

_"Crazy," I hear her sigh. "Cameron misses his mummy," she tells me and my heart starts to ache._

"I miss him too," I whisper lightly. "When will I see you two?"

_"Well they are heading over with my stuff now and then we'll wait for the movers here at McCanna's,"she tells me. "Once our stuff is all moved out, we'll clean up here and then head over there to start unpacking. At least someplace to sleep tonight."_

"Did Mac talk to you about Friday night?"

_"You two spending the night at The Plaza? He did and I told him one night wasn't enough."_

"We'll do a weekend away but we just need to get this all straightened out; well at least for the most part before Monday arrives," I sigh as I see the first of Millie's belongings arriving. "Your stuff is here now, I'll direct where you told me and see you both very soon."

I hang up with Mac's mother and then head into the apartment that will now house Millie Taylor and start to direct where things should go before I head into my new home to start to put some things away. I start to unpack a few bathroom items, needing to wait for Mac's items to arrive before I can start on our bedroom. I cast my gaze toward our bedroom and smile; my face warming at the thought of waking up to Mac as husband and me as his wife from now on. Cameron's room is right next door and another small room, which will remain an office for now, could be used later if we do plan to expand our family.

"Hello handsome," I answer the phone with a smile on my face; as I sit down an hour later to take a small break and talk to Mac.

_"Hello yourself," he teases with a warm tone. "How is it going?" He asks with a serious note._

"Exhausting, but moving is right?"

_"Why don't you wait until I'm there," he sighs and I can just picture a frown on his face. _

"It's no big deal Mac, there will be lots left for you. Your mom's stuff is almost done and they are now bringing your stuff over. We unpack the bed first right? Don't forget we'll need to sleep here tonight."

_"Sounds good to me," he mentions softly._

"How did it go?"

_"A small send off, which is what I hoped for. Riley is nervous as hell but weren't we all once?" Mac gently chuckles. "My superior still wasn't too keen on me leaving, but the more I think on it the happier I am that I made the decision; the right decision. I belong there, with that team and at your side."_

My eyes slightly water as I listen to his confession. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that," I offer in truth. "I never wanted you to regret leaving another team."

_"Never should have left in the first place," he huffs once more. "I'm almost done here; the courier is taking my stuff to the lab there and then I'll be home just as fast as I can."_

"Home," I echo. "Like when you say that."

_"Home Stella, where I belong."_

I offer him a whispered kiss over the line before he hangs up and my heart is now racing with happy anticipation that my husband will be home very soon. An hour later I hear laughter in the hallway and know that Millie and Cameron have arrived.

"Welcome!" I call out over the chaos. I look out from some boxes to see Cameron peering around the corner at me with a large smile. "BOO!" I shout and he laughs and tries to run away. I quickly grab his arm and pull him back, holding his small body close to mine as he laughs and tries to get away.

"Lets go mummy. Lets go..." he moans as he tries to twist himself free. I poke his sides and soon the space is filled with the warm laughter of Cameron Taylor. I finally release the child I now call my own and look up to see Millie looking down at us with a smile.

"Lots of work ahead," Millie gently frowns. "Do you even have a dress for tomorrow night?"

"Believe it or not, I do," I tell her proudly as I slowly push myself up, dust off a bit and then lead her into our large Master bedroom. "I had picked this up...um a year ago," my voice trails off into a whisper as I turn to face her with a heavy frown. "I always hoped this day would come, but I um...never really thought it would," I manage weakly as my eyes water. She wraps her arms around me and holds me close. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I shouldn't really burden you with my thoughts and such," I pull back with a slight swallow. "I never had a mother."

"I never had a daughter," she touches my cheek. "So I guess we are the same. Can I see the dress?"

"Do you think it's stupid that...well I mean a year ago and..."

"Stella, dreams are never stupid. Trust me to hear that you thought of marrying my son even a year ago warms my heart even more. Now show me that gown."

"Of course," I smile as I unzip the dark garment bag and produce an ivory colored, fitted gown with matching shoes; simple but stunning.

"You are going to look gorgeous," Millie whispers as her fingers gently caress the fabric. "I can't tell you enough how happy I am that it's you who loves my son and grandson Stella; you make me so proud," she states and my eyes water once more as we both embrace again before Cameron comes rushing into the room, tugging on my dusty shirt.

"Mummy I can't find Zoom," he moans, referring to his favorite stuffie.

"Stella, I'm going to leave you and Cameron here and go and get started on my place. Thank you for getting the movers to set up the heavy stuff. And don't worry about dinner, I'm ordering in Chinese and none of you have a say," she states with a firm smile. I look down at Cameron and shrug. "Sounds good to me." I watch her leave before I look kneel back down to Cameron.

"Why don't we go and unpack your stuff and see if we can't find Zoom."

"Kay mummy."

I take his hand and lead him into the space that will be his room; the promise to paint coming in a week. Thankfully it'll be done by professionals as I don't think we'd have the time. Cameron looks around at all the boxes as I push his dresser into place. I open a box and gently lead him toward it. "Want to start looking in here?"

"Sure," he shrugs as he starts to sift through a variety of toys.

I start into a box of his clothing, smiling as I take out small shirts and jeans and start to organize his dresser drawers, hanging up other items as I come across them. Half hour later, another voice breaks the small chatter that Cameron has provided me until now; the warm sound of my husband finally come home.

"I'm home!" Mac's warm voice rings out. To hear him say he's home, to hear our son's enthusiastic reply and to know that my happy future is finally coming true, leaves me without words. _I'm home..._you are home Mac.

"Daddy!" Cameron shouts as he drops a few items and rushes into the other room.

"Come here sweet boy," I watch Mac gather up Cameron into his strong arms and plants warm kisses on his face. "You taste like dust," he teases and Cameron giggles. He finally looks up at me and smiles; the same smile that even after all these years, melts my heart like no one else on this planet.

"I'm home," he whispers as I near him. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on, planting warm kisses by his ear, and closing my eyes in delight as his arms wrap around me and hold me close. But when I say nothing he's quick to call me on it. "Stella? Everything okay?"

"Have waited my whole life to hear you say that Mac. Never thought those words would sound so welcome."

"Trust me Stella, you have no idea how excited I was to be coming home to my complete family today."

"Every day Mac," I tell him as my lips brush his once more.

"Man I missed you today," he tells me as we finally break apart.

"How was Don?"

"He didn't say if he was going to leave or not and I didn't want to press. But he said he's still interested in Emily and they will be there together, as a couple, on Friday. I'll leave the rest of the pestering up to Danny. How did it all go? Anything left?"

"A few pieces are still coming up, but your mother is well on her way to being settled and we are having Chinese takeout at her place," I inform him and he smirks. Cameron turns and rushes back into his room, frantically pulling out toys and items in search of a lost friend. I follow Mac into our bedroom and lean against the door as he starts to undress.

"I love watching you," I tell him warmly and his face gently blushes as he removes his work clothes; pulling on a pair of jeans and old sweatshirt and then walking back up to me.

"I love that fact that tomorrow and every morning after that we'll be waking up as a family," he states as he kisses my cheek. "Now what do I need to do to get things started?"

"Well as you can see I have unpacked most of my personal stuff but now that your furniture is here, how about you take the bedroom and I'll take the kitchen; the bathroom is almost done."

"Wow you have been busy," Mac praises. "So um...personal stuff...what kind of..."

"Nice try mister, those cuffs are put away for now," I whisper as my hand moves to his back and then lower, resting on his ass. "But if you have energy later..."

"I always have energy for that," he tells me eagerly and I just laugh.

"Come on naughty boy, let's get started. We still have a long ways to go."

"Right," Mac frowns as he heads for some boxes. "How was Cameron?"

"_Our son_," I emphasize, "is a very good boy. He's in his room right now unpacking."

"Alone?" Mac arches his brows and my smile turns to a frown. We both hurry out of the room and into Cameron's only to see that all the boxes have been basically dumped into one large pile with Cameron buried somewhere in the middle. "A very good boy?" Mac counters with a shake of his head before we both laugh.

"Daddy I couldn't find Zoom," Cameron informs us as he holds up his beloved stuffie.

"Right well now that you have, it's up to you to help mummy with all these clothes."

"Me?" I chuckle. "And what will you be doing?"

"Unpacking your underwear," he teases and I just grin. "Or did you do that already?"

"Come with me. Cameron I'll be right back."

"Kay mummy."

"Love to hear that," I tell Mac and his hand grips mine tighter. I lead him to a small box and open it. "Okay unpack."

He pulls out the first item, a racy piece of lingerie and looks at me in shock, his face instantly a darker color. "I um...can't unpack this."

"Why not?" I arch a brow in wonder.

"Because I'm almost hard just looking at it."

"Weak man," I laugh as I snatch the item from his fingers and stuff it back into the box.

"Can you blame me?" Mac teases as his arms wrap around my waist and he holds me captive in his grasp. "Will you model that for me?"

"Not unless you are tied to a chair," I shoot back he pouts. "Well I wouldn't get much modeling done would I?"

"But..."

"Will you model for me?"

"Hardly," he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"I'll put those away later Mac. Start with the other boxes," I tell him.

XXXXXXXX

I watch Stella leave and curse the aching my groin is now feeling; my mind picturing Stella's perfect body covered with the delicate black lace and my heart is racing. I hear her calling out Cameron's name as she heads into his bedroom to help him put his things away and am not upset in the least that I am left here to fend for myself. I look back down at the box and then at her bedside dresser and start to put a few of her intimate things away. But as suspected as soon as the box is empty, my body is aching for a release and so I quickly head over to my boring things and my growing hard-on quickly subsides. An hour later the bedroom is almost unpacked and I'm surprised at how much we have gotten done.

"I thought for sure we'd have no bed for the weekend," I frown as I walk into Cameron's room where Stella has nearly everything put away.

"Thought it would take us longer?"

"Well you did a great job of sifting through all the duplicate furniture and..yeah I thought it would take longer," I sigh as I watch her put a few more things away. We discuss the lay out of Cameron's room before we head into the living room to see Cameron unpacking DVD's and toys.

Stella and I discuss where we'll put up shelving like I had in my place; a few strategic pieces to help with the reading and such of our son. Stella has put most of the bathroom things away; the kitchen however will need Friday and so will the rest of the living room.

Another hour later and I head into our bedroom to find Stella standing fixed in place her back to me. I gently wrap my arms around her and hold her close.

"What?"

"You did a great job of putting everything away," she praises and I can't help but smile. "Even my _personal_ items. Was that hard for you?"

"Literally," I arch my brows and she just laughs. "Well I was hard. And it was your fault. But I didn't mind picturing you in those items."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Is it working?" I counter.

"Yes."

"Then I am," I smile as I kiss her cheek. "Will I be rewarded for my efforts tonight?"

"Maybe," she teases and I just pout. She twists herself around and uses her lips to gently suck my bottom lip before pulling away and kissing me once more.

"Tease," I whisper warmly as she kisses me again.

"Hungry?"

"Actually I am."

We gather up Cameron and then head down the hall to my mother's new apartment and she lets us in. Her unpacking has fared pretty good but both of us have promised to help her unpack what's left on Sunday; Saturday being spent for our shortened honeymoon.

"I really hope you take that proper honeymoon," my mother tells us as we sit around her lightly cluttered table, eating Chinese food an hour later.

"Orlando," I nod with my head in Cameron's direction; not wanting to mention Disneyworld so that he doesn't get his hopes up when he realizes we aren't going tomorrow. I look at Stella who wraps her fingers around mine and squeezes.

"Happiest place on earth right?"

"Second to here," I mention and she smiles. "And we are all set for tomorrow."

"Do you have a tux?"

"You said a black suit," I lightly moan and she smiles. "And yes Cameron has a black suit also."

We talk a bit more about the plans for tomorrow until Cameron finally falls asleep and it's time for us all to get some much needed rest. We thank my mother for dinner and then take our leave; heading back down the hall to our new home. I place Cameron into his bed that Stella made up for him and then go in search of her. I head into our bedroom and stop short just as Stella slowly pulls her undershirt over her head, leaving only her jeans and bra on.

"Wow," I whisper as I slowly close the door behind me and then lock it. "Don't stop."

"Okay," she smiles as she turns to me and her fingers start to slowly unzip her jeans, my body growing harder and harder by the second. I watch with hungry eyes as her jeans slowly slide to the floor; leaving only a few traces of fabric over her amazing body.

"Your turn," she whispers and I just shake my head. However, I just yank off the sweatshirt and by the time I'm at her side, my jeans are off and just my dark underwear is left. "Foreplay is an art Mac, I want my strip tease."

"I don't like art...and I've never been much of a tease," I confess as my arms wrap around her body, my fingers fumbling with the clasp of her bra. My hands finally free her of the bra, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of our clothing and soon it's bare skin on bare skin, our loving union well under way. Stella's hands grip my smooth back, her lips locked with mine as her mouth hungrily devours whatever warm skin of mine it can land on. My hands hold her close as our rhythm continues to gain momentum; my lips hungrily devouring her soft skin.

"Missed you Mac," she moans into my ear as her lips plant warm hungry nibbles and kisses on the tender skin; forcing contented moans of delight from my own mouth. With Cameron asleep in the other room, I now wonder if we do make too much noise if we'll wake him up. But with the door locked we are ensured our privacy during any love making adventure; especially anything that requires either of us to be handcuffed to the bed.

We near climax and Stella's groans my name one last time before I deliver one last push and the room is finally still. I slump down on her glistening body, my heart racing but my mind at peace.

"I love you," I tell her with a warm smile as I push some damp curls off her face, tucking them behind her ear. We linger in our post-love making state until we feel our bodies starting to cool down and it's time for bed; both of us tired and completely spent of energy. Knowing that Cameron might want to come and see us in the morning, Stella and I both dress and I unlock the door before joining her in bed. However, just before I turn out the light I notice the odd look on her face and question it.

"Stella? You okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?" I ask in haste.

"I'm almost afraid to go to sleep Mac. That I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll both be gone and I'll be alone once again; my dream never coming true."

I pull her close into my embrace and hold her tightly captive against my chest, my head resting on hers. "We're not going anywhere Stella, I promise."

Stella turns her head and looks at me with a soft smile before she kisses my lips once more. "I love you Mac," she whispers before she tells me goodnight.

I return the same sentiment before I turn off the light and fall fast asleep in my wife's loving arms. I think due to the exhaustion of the move; the mental stress of leaving the Jersey office behind and the promise of all the things still head of us, I slept through the night without waking up once.

"Daddy! Mummy!" Cameron shouts as he runs into our room and pounces on us, forcing us both awake with sleepy moans. I look at him with a frown, wanting to scold him for not knocking like I trained him to do. But Stella's not a stranger and this is what he's used to. Then much to my delight, Stella's arms open and she quickly pulls him close.

"Morning sweet boy," she grins as she pokes his warm side and he starts to laugh.

"Mommeee..." he moans as he tries to get free.

"Time to tickle Cameron for waking us up without knocking," I warn as I grab his bare feet and start to tickle them. His body starts to buckle and his eyes water as the room is now filled with three sets of laughter instead of two. I look over at Stella whose beautiful face is still sporting and early morning glow and feel my heart swell. We finally let Cameron go, allowing him to catch his breath as he looks up at us with a wide smile.

"Go and watch Cartoons," I tell him. "And next time knock!"

"YAY!" He shouts as he pushes himself up to leave. We both watch him disappear and then hear the TV turn on.

"Should have warned you about that," I lightly frown as I look over at Stella in concern.

"Mac that was the best wake up call I have ever had."

"Oh really?" I arch my brows as I wrap my arms around her and push her back into the warm covers, her laughter making me smile. I start to hungrily devour her neck and her body arches with delight as her giggles continue.

"St-stop Mac..." she laughs, lightly gasping at my hungry actions. But before I can get to out of control, I pull back and look down at her with a smile.

"Good morning," I mention.

"Good morning," she replies. "Tomorrow we'll be able to sleep in."

"And sleep naked?"

"And have sex first thing in the morning."

"Promise?" I ask with a wide grin and she nods her head.

"We still can Mac, you just need to tell Cameron that when our door is locked in the morning he'll have to knock. If we don't answer he'll have to wait."

"You try telling him that," I huff as I twist myself onto my back. Stella props herself up on an elbow, looking down at me. "And you get to talk to him about girls."

"What about girls?"

"You know..." I insist. "_Girls."_

"You mean like which parts on a girl he can't touch?"

"That would be it."

"I don't mind," Stella states as she kisses me once more. "He's my son too, remember?"

"I can't wait until you are Stella Taylor."

"I think part of me always has been Mac," she admits and my face beams in delight. "But now it'll be official."

"And we have to be there at seven right?"

"Seven sharp. Think you'll make it?" She teases and I just laugh.

"On pain of death. My mother will bring back Cameron and then we'll get to spend some real quality time together."

"Like the sound of that," Stella murmurs as her lips meet mine once more. However, as much as we want to linger in bed, we know we still have boxes to unpack, clothing to prepare and few other details to arrange before our ceremony tonight. So without wasting any further time, we push ourselves out of bed and get the day started.

"Cameron shower time," I call out and smile as he pushes himself up from the floor and rushes toward us.

"Mummy too?" He asks eagerly and Stella and I look at one another and laugh.

"No Cameron and daddy shower alone sweetie," Stella tells him with a warm smile as she kisses the top of his nose. "Cameron needs his privacy."

"Okay," he shrugs with a small frown. I whisk Cameron with me into the bathroom and turn on the hot water, allowing Stella whatever time she needs to get things done before it's her turn to use the bathroom. I reach for my razor and always smile as I look down at Cameron who has a plastic one and mimics my actions, putting some cream on his soft skin before using the piece of harmless plastic to wipe the cream away. I use an electric razor but don't have a toy one for him so the bladeless fake straight razor will have to do. After that we are in the shower and ready to get ourselves clean.

After I'm finished I quickly dry off Cameron and then wrap him in his warm snuggle cover and then wrap a towel around my own waist before we exit.

"Now that's what I like to see," Stella whispers warmly as I head into the bedroom and she looks at me with hungry eyes.

"Tomorrow," I smile as her body presses into mine.

"I'll hold you to that."

"You better," I tease as I watch her take her leave; her turn to use the bathroom to get her day started also. I quickly change and then head into Cameron's room to see him standing before his dresser not wearing anything. My lips offer a small chuckle as I just shake my head and approach.

"Daddy helps me," he huffs with a slight frown, his gentle eyebrows always raising when he's agitated.

"Let's find you something to wear." I pull out a few things and then help him get dressed before I head into the kitchen to start breakfast.

"Mmm love the smell of shower Stella," I murmur as Stella joins us in the kitchen after her shower. We start to make breakfast for all of us, calling Cameron to the table to join us when it's finished.

"So Cameron this is what is going to happen today..." my voice trails off as I try to explain to my son what will happen today. We watch as Cameron just shakes his head in agreement and then hurries away from the table to play. "I know he didn't understand all that."

"He doesn't have to," Stella assures me as she wraps her fingers around my hand and squeezes it tightly. "The most important thing for Cameron is that he'll get used to having a real family now; the three of us being together on a daily basis."

"Have waited a long time to hear you say that," I whisper and her lips curl upward. "I love you so much Stella."

"I love you too. Come on let's get this busy day started. We have a lot to do before we get ready for tonight."

I offer her a nod and then we both push ourselves away from the table and while Stella puts a few more things away for the kitchen I get started on cleaning up the breakfast dishes and then join her. My mother doesn't come over as she spends most of the day doing the same thing as us; unpacking her belongings and personalizing her new home.

"Stella!" I call out, my back to the door. "HAVE YOU SE..." I start, only to turn around and offer a small gasp.

"I'm right here Mac," Stella smiles. "What did you misplace?"

"My overnight toiletry bag," I frown.

"Bathroom sink, your side."

"_My side_?" I inquire as she takes me by the hand and leads me, past our napping son, into the bathroom and then opens the right side of the bathroom sink.

"Your side," she informs me as she pulls out the small black traveling case.

"My side," I smirk as I shake my head and smile at her before I plant a quick kiss on her lips. "Thank you."

"We did pretty good today," Stella mentions as we both head back into the living room; most of the boxes gone, Cameron's room set up and just the kitchen and main living space waiting to be personalized.

"We make a great team," I whisper as I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close. "Can't wait until I see Stella Taylor on the outside of your office door."

"You sure it won't be Stella Bonasera Taylor?" She arches a brow.

"Oh I uh...sure..." I frown and she giggles as she kisses my firmly on the mouth.

"Mac...Stella Taylor it is. A fresh start remember?"

"Mmm," I moan as her body presses further into mine. But just as I feel certain parts starting to harden, a knock is heard at the door and I look at Stella in wonder.

"Mac?"

"Probably my mother," I mention as I head for the door Stella in tow. But when I pull it open I stare at the last person I expected to see before the ceremony. "Don?"

"Hey Mac, Stella," he starts in a quiet voice.

"What's going on?"

"Just need a minute Mac."

"You're a bit early," I state lightly. However my smile fades when his face turns serious; Stella is also quick to pick up on it.

"Don what is it? Has something happened?"

"Stopped by your office to just check on the mail and such when...this um...came for you today," Don informs us in a dead tone as he holds up a letter.

"Who's it from?" Stella inquires as my eyes rest on the name of the sender; my world coming a complete halt.

"Anna Nicholson," I whisper as my voice starts to fade. "Cameron's...birth mother."

* * *

**A/N**: Surprise? Not what you were expecting? (AiP ducks - sorry for the cliffe) So what do you think the letter is about? Will it impact the wedding? Please review and let me know if you liked this chapter. Thanks in advance!

**PS:** NY Stories should be updated on Monday


	15. Tomorrow Finally Comes!

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 15 - Tomorrow Finally Comes!**

Thanks to everyone for not giving up after that ending and hopefully you'll like this chapter. Thanks to anonymous ( ) for their review last chapter.

**A/N: **_Lyrics in bold and italics to 'Believe in Me' belong to Paul Janz (not me). I love that song and hope you like it._

* * *

_"Anna Nicholson," Mac whispers as his voice starts to fade. "Cameron's...birth mother." _

"What?" I ask weakly as I look at Mac in shock. _Cameron's birth mother!_ Is she coming to take him back? Does she want Mac to be with her and have a family with Cameron? Does she now want custody of her son? It would rip Mac apart! My mind races with so many terrible thoughts that I feel my head starting to spin and I have trouble just breathing.

Mac's look of panic mirror's mine as he glances at Cameron playing quietly in the corner and then slowly reaches for the letter with a slightly trembling hand.

"What if she um...wants to take him away?" Mac asks in a dead whisper. "Stella I can't lose him."

"I'd never let that happen Mac," I tell him firmly. "He's mine too and I love him and we will fight for him."

"You should read what she has to say," Flack dares after a few minutes of tormented silence.

"I can't...not today," Mac states in sorrow.

"Want me to open it?" I dare to question.

Mac looks at me, a lump in his throat probably the same size as mine. He simply nods his head and hands me the sealed envelope.

My heart races as my fingers slowly open the envelope and then retrieve the letter and open it up. My eyes slightly water as I read the letters and then look up at Mac with a soft smile.

"What does it say?" He manages in a soft whisper.

_'To Mac,_' I start as I read her words to my soon to be husband and our friend Don Flack.

_'When I first had Cameron I was still on the waiting list for the Army and at that time wasn't sure what was going to happen with me and Mike. I at that time signed up for a child's RESP fund as I at least wanted him to have something in case he didn't want to join the army when he grew up; no matter who was looking after him at the time. It's not much but the fund has grown for four years and I know you'll put it toward whatever means of education you want for him; it is his and I want him to have it. Mike and I are now in Turkey; still childless. I don't regret leaving Cameron with you and know he'll have a good future with you. I hope you too have found love like I have and that Cameron will have a mother who will love him and offer him what I couldn't...'_ my voice trails off as my tears flow and Mac finally wraps his arms around me holding me close.

"I thought I lost him..." Mac whispers in my ear as he offers a small sniffle in my ear.

"We are going to be fine Mac," I whisper in return as I pull myself back to face him. _'Take care of him and yourself. Anna.'_ I finish.

"Trust me I was worried too," Flack mentions in a soft tone as Cameron comes rushing up to us.

He looks at Mac's watery eyes and then up at Don and frowns. "You made daddy cry," he states angrily and Flack just smirks.

"Come here squirt," Flack teases as he gather's Cameron into his arms and holds him up to us.

"Daddy? Mummy?" He asks with a sad pout.

"Love you sweet boy," Mac mentions softly as he pulls Cameron from Flack's arms into ours and we both wrap him in our embrace as my mother slowly opens the door.

"What is going on?" She asks in concern. I hand her the letter as I turn back to Cameron and tenderly touch his face. "I love you Cameron."

"I love you too mummy," he states and my eyes water once more.

"Okay now I'm gonna cry too," Flack smirks as Mac quickly wipes his eyes and looks at him with a wry smile. "Wasn't sure if I wanted to give you that but..."

"I'm glad you did Don," Mac assures him. "Everything is going to be okay now."

Millie looks up at me, Cameron in my arms as her fingers tenderly massage the back of his head and then rest on his back. "The world is how it should be," she tells us warmly. "Now I think we all have a _happy_ celebration to get ready for."

"Right," Flack states firmly, swallowing back his own anxiety. "Emily and I will see you at City Hall."

"I'm happy for you Don," I whisper in his ear as I give him a small hug. "I'm not going to make any long term statements, but I'm happy you have taken this step."

"Jess would have wanted it," he retorts in a quiet voice.

"I know she would have."

Flack finally takes his leave and then Mac's strong arms wrap around me once more, holding me close as his body slightly trembles. "God I thought I lost him," he whispers in agony.

"Never Mac, no one will ever break apart our family. I wouldn't let them," I tell him firmly as I bring his face to mine and kiss his lips; Cameron now lovingly held fast in the grasp of his grandmother. I look over at her and Cameron and smile. "Never."

"We love you Cameron," Millie whispers as she places a warm kiss on Cameron's cheek and he scrunches up his face and the three of us smile.

"Time to get ready," Mac breaks the silence. "We have a wedding to get ready for."

"That we do," Millie replies as she lets Cameron slide to the floor. "A party Cameron and you'll get to see Lucy again."

"YAY!" He shouts as he turns and runs into his room.

"I'll take care of..."

"Mac, let me," I tell him in haste, as I gently squeeze his arm. "He's my son too."

I look at Millie who offers a loving smile and nod before Mac nods also and I follow after Cameron who is now frantically searching through his drawers for something to wear. I start to laugh as I take him by the hand and lead him to the closet.

"Today is special for us," I mention as I gently tug his sweater over his head and then poke his naked sides. His lips emit a soft squeal as he wraps his arms around his bare tummy and laughs when I poke him again. My hands hesitate when they reach for the zipper of his jeans, but then I quickly tell myself I am doing nothing wrong and am only helping my son get dressed for a special occasion.

I push myself up and head for the closet, leaving Cameron to pull on dark socks and a small white undershirt. "You are going to look like very handsome today Cameron, just like your father," I whisper happily as I pull out the small black suit. I turn to see Mac standing in the doorway watching us with a warm smile and offer him one in return. However, he doesn't make a move to assist and says nothing further so I go about my task of getting Cameron dressed. I leave his jacket off and then tell him to go and sit quietly and watch TV but not to mess his clothing before the party; then it's my turn to head into our bedroom to join Mac in getting dressed.

"I hope you don't mind me watching you," Mac mentions, his back still to me facing his side of the closet. I walk up to him and gently touch his shoulder and he turns to face me and lightly swallows. "I have always known how beautiful you are, but today you seem to outshine even the sun," he whispers as he takes my ringed hand and places it over his heart. "Right here Stella, this is where you have always been and always will remain."

"You are making me cry," I confess and his fingers brush away a stray tear as he brings my lips to his and tastes them.

"I love you Stella, more than anything."

"I love you too Mac, you are my life," I tell him in truth. "Until I draw my last breath, you will have been the only man I have ever loved."

This time it's his eyes that gently water, forcing me to bend his face to mine and kiss his closed eyelids. "I love you," I whisper once more and he wraps me in his arms, careful not to do too much damage to my cream dress.

"We should get ready," Mac finally mentions as we pull apart. I leave Mac at the closet to finish getting ready as I head for the bathroom to get my hair and makeup done. I work at putting some sparkly bobby pins into my hair, putting up curls but leaving some hanging down. Millie had given me a set that consisted of a vintage pearl and diamond necklace with matching earrings; stating they were hers when she married Mac's father and would be more than honored to have me; the woman who made her son so happy, wear them on their wedding day. I couldn't say no.

When I finish my makeup I look at myself in the mirror, willing the smile to leave but it won't; neither will my growing nervous anxiety. I had witnessed Danny and Lindsay's simple ceremony but now, going there and knowing I'm there to marry the man I love more than anything, has me a bit nervous. The letter from Anna is still dancing around in my head. In the end she did the right thing; she didn't have children and by the sounds of it wasn't planning any and wanted whatever money was saved up for Cameron to go to him. I had wanted to hate her in the beginning for giving Mac a child but now I know in my heart, that hatred will never swell; if she had really wanted Cameron, he'd be with her right now. And I just have to keep praying everything stays as it is.

I finally leave the bathroom and walk into the living room to see Millie snapping picture of Mac and his son. Mac stops his task and smiles. "Stella...wow," he manages. "You look truly beautiful," he finishes and my face beams.

"Mummy wow..." Cameron smiles as he mimics his father and then rushes up to me and wraps his arms around my legs and I can't help but laugh.

"Thank you sweet boy," I smile as I touch his face. "Hey handsome this sweet boy belong to you?" I tease Mac as he tries to pry Cameron away.

"He does. Who do I belong to?"

"That would be me," I reply as I fix his black tie. "You look very handsome Mac," I praise and his face gently warms as Millie walks up to join us.

"Stella, you look stunning," Millie mentions as she ushers me over to Mac's side and starts to take a few more pictures; then of me and Cameron, just Cameron, me and her, just Mac and then her and Mac. Until the memory card was almost full and it was time to reload and head for City Hall.

"Nervous?" Mac gently asks as we head toward the downtown of Manhattan.

"Yeah a little. You?"

"Me too," he flashes me a grin. "But happy and excited."

"I think that's a given for this whole truck load," I reply as I turn back to Cameron who looks at me with a smile. I turn back and look at Mac, the man I will call my husband in a few hours and my lips automatically curl upward. I wonder if he knows how much I really love him; could I ever express it in words? In my lifetime? In his? Stella Taylor, I allow my mind to dwell on. Dreams do come true, I sigh as I take his hand and hold it firmly in mine.

XXXXXXXX

We reach City Hall and sure enough are greeted with Danny and Lindsay and Lucy, all three dressed up and waiting for us. Flack and Emily are also on hand, Sheldon, Adam, Haylen and Sid all seated in the waiting area behind us. Riley, Sarah and TJ also enter and soon both teams are talking lightly while we nervously wait for the licensed Minister to appear.

"Mini Mac," Danny teases Cameron as he comes and stands beside me. "You gave _him_ the rings Mac?"

"He wanted something to do. Trust me they'll be fine," I lightly frown. "Were you um...this nervous?" I ask in a light whisper.

"Yes," Danny smirks as he pats me on the back.

I finally spy the Justice of the Peace heading toward us and our group finally gets into place, Stella and I, side by side, holding hands, Cameron in front and the Messer's behind us; Lucy in the care of my mother. I try to force myself to pay attention to the words the man before me is offering but I just find myself wanting to watch Stella; the amazing woman beside me who is about to become my wife. Her fingers grasp mine tighter as he mentions the oaths we are about to take before God and witnesses and my heart is once again racing at top speed. Her confidence, her love, her affection for Cameron; everything about her is now firmly cemented in my mind and heart for all eternity. And much like the beautiful sentiments she offered me earlier, until I draw my last breath I shall never love another woman the way I love her; Stella Taylor, the other half of me. She assured me she was happy with this simple arrangement; but inside I hope and pray she has no regrets for us getting married this way.

The time finally comes for us to exchange our vows and I turn to face her; my wife; taking her hands in mine and firmly holding them as I repeat my vows to the woman before me. Her soft voice returns the same sentiments and then I feel Cameron tugging on my suit jacket. I look down with a smile and the small box he is offering and pull out Stella's ring, a few approved whispers as I slowly slide the band of white gold and diamonds up her slender finger. I watch with a small lump in my throat as she slides the matching band up my finger before we clasp hands once more.

"You may kiss if you want to," the man before us states.

I gently wrap my hand around the back of Stella's neck and plant a warm kiss on her lips and then pull back. We are modestly pronounced man and wife to a small round of applause and both our cheeks flush with delight. My mother comes and takes Cameron to be with Lucy so that the four adults can complete the paperwork and then it's time to finally exhale.

"I'm so proud of you McCanna," my mother whispers as she hugs me tightly.

"I wish dad was here."

"He was," she assures me as she touches my cheek. "He would have been proud that you married Stella. Hang on to her and never let go."

"Never," I echo as Stella comes to join us. "Pictures right?" I ask with a slight frown.

"The photographer will meet us at the restaurant," Stella informs me.

"Stella Taylor," I smile and her lips curl into a wide grin. "Really like the sound of that."

"Almost as nice as hearing you say _my wife._"

"Almost."

Knowing there are others behind us waiting, we are quickly ushered out of the public area; where we get into a waiting limousine and then head for the restaurant; my mother bringing the SUV. Cameron jumps into the limo and right away starts to inspect everything he can.

"Cameron, don't touch that," I gently scold as he starts to fiddle with something that can be broken.

"Did you survive?" Stella asks with an arched brow as she presses her body further into mine.

"Yes," I answer as she takes my ringed hand and stares intently at the band on my finger.

"This means you now belong to me," she whispers as she plants a kiss on my cheek.

"Didn't I always?" I arch my brows and she smirks.

"Yes you did," she confirms with a nod of her head as she looks away and watches Cameron playing with the empty ice bucket. "Both of you." He puts it on his head as a hat and we both just laugh at his silly antics.

My fingers clasp hers as we near the restaurant. "Here we go," I exhale and she giggles as I help her get out and then hold Cameron's hand as we head inside. We are quickly whisked away by the photographer who wants some bridal pictures, including my mother. About two hours later, hand in hand, Stella and I make our way to the restaurant, only to be greeted once again by a roomful of happy applause. We have the small room to ourselves and I have to admit the small intimate setting has me more relaxed than I thought I would be. My poor mother has the lovely task of keeping an eye on Cameron and Lucy and has wisely separated them for the dinner part of the night.

"So far they are behaving," Lindsay whispers to us as we look from our table to the one next where my mother just told something and both children are now laughing.

"So far," Danny echoes and his wife shoots him a warning glance.

I look around the room; smiling at friends, taking in the modest decorations and the wait staff serving our closest friends; and then my eyes finally settle on my wife who is now trying to get my attention.

"Mac?"

"Never thought I could define a night as perfect; but this comes pretty close," I offer my whispered confession. "You did an amazing job with all this. Can I ever thank you enough?"

"You can make my night perfect, later," she whispers in my ear and my face warms. "I'm glad you like tonight so much; so do I."

We all linger over dinner, mostly talking about my return to the lab; me being thankful that the New Jersey team has no hard feelings and so far both teams seem to be getting along as if they were old friends, the way I actually prefer it turn out. The dinner and dessert out of the way; it's finally time for dancing.

"We don't have a song," I mention to Stella with a nervous tone.

"Yes we do Mac. Come and dance with me," she offers her hand, which I willingly take, grasp it tightly as she leads me to the dance floor.

"Stella?" I arch my brows as the music starts.

"Believe in me Mac."

"I always have."

**_How many silent dreams reach into heaven and fall away  
In your eyes I see a promise that won't fade..._**

"I um...what song is this?"

"It's a small tribute to us Mac," she mentions. "For all the trials and tests we have had to face..."

"For being apart for four years?" I ask in torment and see her lightly swallow.

"That would count for sure."

"But then something happened."

"What?"

**_I've been searching so long for someone true, a love that's real  
In your heart I've found a vision I can feel.._**

"You came back to me Mac."

"You came back also Stella."

"With a surprise."

"Cameron?"

"Our son Mac."

**_Is this moment here to stay, it takes my breath away  
_****_Believe in me..._**

"But you know despite all the heartache we have had to face alone, I think inside we were always together."

"Would be a good reason as to why nether of us wanted to find love apart from the other," I offer and she nods her head in agreement, her arms around me tightening.

**_You open up my mind, now you know what I'm about  
This kind of love's not blind, it breaks through walls of doubt..._**

"Never loved another Mac."

"I only ever loved you Stella."

**_And the light that's in your eyes shines for me  
This time it's all I need..._**

"I knew in my heart you would have come back to me Mac, I knew that."

"But I almost..." I start as she presses her finger to my lips.

"We were meant to be. It's a simple as that."

**_Believe in me, reach out with your heart  
No power in the world will keep us apart..._**

"Our second chance at love?"

"This is our second chance Mac," she whispers tenderly, her lips brushing my face; sending small electrical shocks down to my feet. "Our second chance at happiness."

"For all of us."

**_Believe in me and love will remain  
Believe in your heart, love stays the same..._**

"I never deserved that second chance Stella."

"But you needed it Mac, we both did."

"And I'm glad we didn't allow...well pride or whatever to take it away...I mean for good."

**_In every lonely face there's a space, an open door  
You speak to me in ways I've never felt before..._**

"I think your mother said it best Mac. Our happy future was never lost..."

"Just misplaced for a little while."

"I love you more than life itself Mac."

"You are my life Stella."

**_When I'm a thousand miles away you'll still here me say  
_****_Believe in me..._**

"What is it Mac?"

"I do have to confess...our second chance; I did fear it might never happen."

"And you have no lingering doubts right?"

"None Stella."

**_You open up my mind, now you know what I'm about  
This kind of love's not blind, it breaks through walls of doubt..._**

"Well I also have something to confess."

"What?"

"Now that I have you right where I want you, I'm never letting you go."

"Never."

**_And the light that's in your eyes, shines for me  
This time it's all I need..._**

"You came back to me Stella...back into my life and I swear to you right now," I pause as I place her ringed hand over my heart. "With all my heart, that I'll never let you go. I love you Stella Taylor, forever."

**_Believe in me, reach out with your heart  
No power in the world will keep us apart..._**

Her eyes lightly glisten as she wraps her hand around the back of my head, and despite the happy onlookers in such a public place, plants the warmest kiss I think I have felt to date.

"I love you too Mac Taylor," she smiles in return as the song finally closes. "Forever."

**_Believe in me and love will remain  
Believe in your heart, love stays the same.._**

I wrap my arms around her as we once again are greeted with happy applause.

"Believe in me Stella," I offer as I look at her with a warm smile.

"I never stopped Mac."

**_Believe in me..._**

The music starts up again and we watch as the rest of the couples take the floor, including Cameron and Lucy who are met with a loud chorus of 'awww's, which only make my son stop and frown in embarrassment.

"That's Mac's son alright," Sid teases and I just shake my head and smirk. However, Lucy, who apparently still wants to dance, grabs Cameron by the arm and pulls him back onto the dance floor, wrapping her arms around him so he can't escape again. I can only laugh as he looks at me in torment but don't offer any assistance.

"He's on his own," I huff as I turn back to my beautiful wife.

"And when are we on our own?"

"And I thought it was usually the groom who wanted to leave early," I state and Stella laughs. "Not his amazing looking bride." I wrap my arm around her once more and kiss her lips. "We'll leave when you want."

Cameron comes running up to us and pushes his way into our legs, trying to get away from a pursuing Lucy. "Daddy save me from Lucy!" He moans as Lindsay hurries in our direction.

"Momma!" Lucy bellows as she's scooped up and held.

"Lucy, don't chase boys," she lightly scolds and we just laugh. "Besides I think it's time you danced with your father now."

"No momma!" Lucy whines as she looks at Cameron with a sad expression. "Bye Cameron," she wails and I look at Stella who offers me a weak smile.

"But she has a point," Stella mentions as she picks up Cameron and holds him close. "Will you dance with mummy?"

"Okay," he mentions slowly, a hint of remorse in his voice.

"He's not having any more fun," I tell my mother with a heavy sigh.

"Sure he is, but he's had a long day," Millie states in truth as she comes and offers to be my dance partner while Stella dances with our son. My mind thinks back to the morning when we got the letter from Anna and how firm Stella was in her resolve to keep Cameron in our lives and my love for her grew then. But watching her now, dressed in that amazing gown, holding our son close as she sways with him in her arms, his face watching her with love and admiration, I think my love has grown some more.

"She's an amazing woman McCanna," my mother states in truth and I look back at her and nod. "I'm very happy for you both."

"Me too," I echo warmly as we continue to dance. My mother and I talk more about the night ahead; she having no problem taking Cameron home while we head upstairs to enjoy our official wedding night as husband and wife. I finish up my dance with her and then head over to talk to one of the head Hotel attendants to see how things are shaping up. I am not worried about the cost as I know if we had a larger affair, we'd only have less money to spend on our upcoming honeymoon; a trip as a family to DisneyWorld. With our not much left to unpack, I'm happy the weekend will be spent relaxing at home as a family; our first official weekend as the Taylor family before I head back to work on Monday to reclaim what I left behind almost four years ago.

As I finish up with the attendant I turn and look out over the room before me, the lights turned low, soft laugher and talking filling the space; happy people only to be seen. I watch Don dancing with Emily and smile; knowing no matter what happens with them as a couple, he's going to be just fine from now on. Sinclair and his wife talking to my former boss and his wife. I look over at Adam and Haylen and am thankful that no hard feelings ever festered after my leave; cementing inside my brain that when I go back things will be as they were when I left. Sheldon and his date, TJ and his fiance, sit at the table with Sid and his wife, talking; laughing and enjoying the evening; as if they had all been the best of friends for years; Riley and Sarah on the floor as friends, neither of their partners able to attend the function. Lucy is fast asleep on a small bench, her parents still wrapped in each other's arms on the dance floor.

"Hey there handsome, do you belong to me?" Stella whispers in my ear as she comes up from behind and wraps her arms around me.

"I certainly do. You want me to take you upstairs and show you that you belong to me?" I playfully arch my brows.

"You better believe it," she states and I just smile as I slowly bring her to my side and wrap my arm around her waist, holding her close.

"Where is Cameron?"

"I think he's asleep near Lucy," she mentions as we both look to see my mother sitting and watching over them.

"Have I told you how amazing you look tonight?"

XXXXXXXX

I look into the warm blue eyes of the man I am married to and smile. "Have I returned the compliment?" I counter and his eyes gently crease as his lips curl upward.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Well I think we should help your mother with Cameron and then we'll call it a night. How does that sound?"

"Terrific," Mac grins as he kisses my cheek. He takes my hand and we slowly head back into the group to say our goodbyes and then help bundle Cameron up for the ride home. As suspected both of us are bombarded with hugs, kisses, well wishes and the like. Thankfully most of the gifts were money or gift cards as we had asked for; but the few presents for Cameron weren't too much for Millie to handle on her own. Emily Chan seems so at ease around us, helping Flack and Lindsay with the cleanup and I can't help but wonder how they'll fare in the long run. So far they both seem really happy and that's what counts the most.

Mac carries a now jacketed Cameron down to the waiting SUV while I help Millie with a few other things.

"See you tomorrow; but don't rush," Millie tells us as she kisses Mac on the cheek and offers me a warm hug. I stand in wrapped Mac's embrace as we watch her pull away before we head back into the luxury hotel; our room already waiting. Knowing that most of our guests have already started to leave, neither of us feel bad about taking our leave for the night. We reach the door of the hotel but Mac stops me just as he opens it.

"Kinda missed the threshold at home," he smirks as he scoops me up into his strong embrace and carries me into the honeymoon suite. As per my request the room is decorated with roses, soft candles, a bottle of champagne is waiting along with a basket of goodies that we can take home; the large King size bed waiting for us to make good use of.

"Wow Stella," Mac whispers as he slowly lowers me to the floor, looking around at what awaits us. He turns back to me with a warm smile before he cups my face in his hands and bring my lips to his, finally being able to hungrily devour them without the worry of anyone else judging his romantic actions. My hands wrap around his neck and keep his lips captive as I too offer all I can in return.

His mouth makes small moans as my lips gently suck on his ear lobe, his fingers now slowly unzipping the back of my dress, my fingers on his dress shirt. But before he can go any further I pull back, my dress still covering me.

"Stella?" He lightly questions, his dress shirt half way off and his body already giving evidence of needing me. "I wasn't going to ruin your dress."

"Wanted to show you what else I bought," I whisper as I finish with the zipper and then slowly slide the creamy gown off, revealing new white wedding lingerie.

"I think my smile is bigger," Mac smirks as he quickly pulls his dress shirt off and then stands before me half naked. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world," he praises before he lifts me into his arms once more and carries me to the waiting bed and then lowers me down, my fingers already unzipping his pants and freeing him for the act of love making that is soon to follow.

"Make love to me Mac," I lightly beg as my body arches into the warm kisses he's planting on my waiting body; starting with my neck and then moving lower. I gently grasp the back of his head, my fingers slipping on sweaty strands as I guide his lips back to mine, our union underway.

"Oh Stella..." Mac groans as my body continues to tempt and tease his as we move together in harmony. "Love that..." he gently gasps as our rhythm increases.

My hands grip his smooth back as his fingers try to pull themselves out of damp curls, his lips once again hungrily devouring my mouth; his tongue dancing with mine as sweat beads form and slowly slide off our glistening bodies.

"Mac!" I offer with one last gasp before our union is complete and the room is still; our hearts racing.

"Wow Mac..." I mumble as he looks at me with warm smile, pushing some damp curls off my forehead before placing a warm kiss on my damp skin.

"_My wife _is the most amazing woman in the world," he mentions and my heart skips at beat.

"Well _my husband_ is pretty amazing also," I counter and he kisses me once more before slowly pulling apart and then laying beside me on the sheets that are slightly damp beneath us.

"Did you arrange all this also? I mean the room and stuff?"

"Only the best for you Mac," I state in truth as I watch him push himself away from the bed and slowly walk over to the table and start to examine the contents of what was given to us as a honeymoon gift from the hotel staff. "Love watching you like that."

"Naked?"

"Covered with sweat," I tease and he looks at me and smiles. "From me."

"Almost as nice a view as the one I have right now," he counters and my face warms under his loving gaze. "Want some champagne?"

"Sure," I state. "Save the basket for tomorrow, we'll share it with Cameron."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Mac pours two glasses of the chilled drink and then slowly walks back to me, spooning up beside me and handing me the glass.

I slowly allow the cool liquid to penetrate my senses before taking another sip and then pulling Mac's mouth to mine and offering some of the golden liquid into his and then using my tongue to taste it.

"Gosh Stella..." Mac groans as his body twitches beside mine. "Give me at least a minute."

"Naughty boy," I tease as I pull back. "We'll save that until the morning."

"Or in an hour?" He raises his brows and smiles.

"Think it'll take you that long?"

"Ten minutes?" He counters and I put my glass down and playfully pounce on his chest, pinning him down as my bare chest rests on his. "Like the feel of this."

"Me too," I almost purr as I kiss him once more. "I meant what I said earlier Mac, I'll never let anyone take away my family; any part of it."

"I know," he states in a serious tone as he tucks a curl behind my ear. "And I love you all the more for that."

My finger brushes his face and then slowly traces his lips before I taste them once more. We both finish our glasses of champagne before Mac pulls the covers over us, pulls me into his strong embrace and turns off the light and we both settle into the comforting realm of sleep; both of us happily exhausted from the days events.

I only open my eyes when light starts to penetrate my lids and I slowly open them to see my husband still asleep. _My husband_, how my brain takes much delight in using that simple term. His hair is still slightly mussed up, his face is at peace, his lips slightly parted and his ring still proudly displaying the beautiful band of gold, telling the world this amazing man now officially belongs to me. I know that when we are home, we'll have to allow ourselves times to wake up naked in each others arms; locking out our son to ensure our passion remains strong. Although, I doubt that would ever be a problem for me and Mac.

"I know you're watching," Mac smirks as he slowly opens his eyes and allows blue to collide with green.

"Can you blame me," I arch a brow as I move in closer, loving his warm musty early morning scent. "Mmm you smell good right now," I whisper as I don't allow him to speak, but hungrily cover his lips with mine, devouring them with early morning passion.

His warm hands push the covers back and gently grip my naked sides as he pulls me closer.

"And who said it was only men who were more sexually stimulated in the morning," Mac murmurs as he kisses me once more.

"I'm married to the most handsome man on the planet, can you blame me?"

"Ah good answer," he teases as he readies us for another love making adventure. I willingly allow him to move me where needed as my arms wrap around his neck and start to devour his warm flesh, planting soft tender kisses on any exposed skin.

He groans in delight as the tip of my tongue dips into the crook of his ear, his body arching in delight as my body responds in kind; sweat now rapidly being produced.

"Love the feel of that," he offers in truth as he guides my mouth back to his and plants warm kisses on it, tasting whatever skin it can.

"Oh Mac..." I gasp as his body pushes into mine once more, my hear racing in anticipation of climax, my face flushed from the way he makes me feel. No other man has ever made me feel the way he does; my husband. This time it's Mac's turn to call my name as we reach the end and our union is complete once more, our early morning energy spent.

"Good morning," Mac teases as I look down at him with a wide smile.

"That it certainly is," I agree. "But we used up all our energy."

"Should we go back to sleep and get some more?"

"Or we could just order in breakfast," I counter.

"Like the sound of that. When did you want to..." Mac starts only to have me quickly kiss him. "You like to do that don't you?"

"Yes," I state firmly. "We'll leave when we are ready. Besides you know you'll just get a tongue lashing from your mother if we show up before noon."

"You're right," Mac smirks as his fingers gently rub my warm back. "Love waking up to you like this. I'll have that talk with Cameron as soon as we are back."

I have to chuckle at Mac's eagerness and just shake my head. "As I said last night, naughty boy."

XXXXXXXX

Waking up to Stella in the nude and having early morning sex without the fear of Cameron walking in on us was such a delight I almost felt guilty. I see her looking at the wedding band on my finger and I have to smile; _I always belonged to her_, my brain offers and I know it's the truth.

"That's my cue," I smile as I hear her stomach start to rumble.

"Sorry Mac," she whispers. I push myself up and kiss her on the cheek.

"Never be sorry. I'm hungry too. Was too excited to eat much last night," I tell her in truth. I slowly ease myself out of bed catching her hungry glance out of the corner of my eye and my face warms once more.

"I'm having you for dessert Mac," she states as I wrap myself in the waiting robe before I turn to face her with a grin.

"I certainly hope so. Have you seen the size of the shower?"

"Size matters, why do you think I'm so in love with you," she winks and my face reddens further as I just shake my head and walk back to her with the room service menu. She picks what she wants and then I place the order and walk over to the balcony while she's in the bathroom. The day is rainy and grey; but I don't care, I'm in love with an amazing woman and my mood couldn't be better.

"Had wanted to take Cameron to the park tomorrow," I mention as she wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me back against her chest. "Damn the rain."

"Doesn't matter what we do Mac, as long as we do it as a family."

"Like when you say family; sounds so warm and loving."

"Like the sound of it myself," she whispers and I feel her squeeze tighten around me. Not wanting her to dwell on her own painful childhood, I quickly change the subject to what we'll buy with our money donations until the food arrives.

"You don't always have to change the subject when talk about my childhood comes up Mac," Stella tells me softly as we linger over breakfast. "It doesn't bother me."

"I don't want to cause you any more sorrow or pain; I've done enough of that to last a lifetime," I sigh heavily; prompting her to leave her chair and push herself into my lap, her head resting on mine and my arms curling around her.

"Don't do this Mac; don't start with the sad talk," she warns as she gently lifts my face to hers and gazes upon my tormented expression.

"Just don't..." I start only to have her silence me with a kiss and I can't help but laugh. "Right."

"Only happy thoughts from now on Mac, okay?"

"Can't say no to you."

"Good. Keep it that way," she teases as she hops off my lap and holds out her hand.

"What?"

"You are coming with me."

"Where to?"

"Just come already."

I have to only offer a smile as I push myself up and allow her to lead me into the bathroom. She turns on the hot water and allows the large walk in shower to fill with steam, our robes on the floor and our bodies already starting to meld together as one in the steamy compartment.

I hold Stella close as the hot water assaults us from many angles, our heated passion ensuring that the room is even warmer than anticipated. Stella pushes me up against the walls as I move her into position our mouth's still locked in a hungry dance of lips and tongues, fingers holding onto wet skin and heart racing as always when we make love. Stella's aggressive nature toward me is more than refreshing as I don't feel like I am being selfish when I want to initiate sex on a very regular basis.

"Gosh Mac," she moans as our rhythm increases.

Damp curls force my fingers to get tangled, but it ensures my lips are able to devour hers, moving her neck and forcing her body to arch into mine; forcing mine to feel new sensations as we near climax once more. This time we both call out the name of the other in one final gasp and the hot water is almost spent.

I lean back against the warm tiles and look at her with a loving smile before I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes. "I love you so much," I whisper in truth and her grasp tightens around me. However, before we can become too wrinkly, it's time to get out, dry off and start to think about heading for home.

"Can't believe it's almost lunch time," I state as I carefully zip up the garment bag that houses my good dress suit and look over at Stella who finishes with her own gown. "Want to have lunch downstairs?"

"How about we pick up lunch and take it home?"

"Really?" I ask in happy wonder and she nods her head as she walks up to me and drapes her arms around my neck.

"I don't think you know how much I love you and the idea that I finally have a real family."

"Just thought that..." I start and then stop with a slight frown. "Sometimes almost too good to be true."

"Funny I think that about your love for me Mac," she whispers and my heart skips a beat. "We will have our alone time and our date nights as I know that's important but I also want us to be a family."

"Let's go home," I state warmly as I plant a warm kiss on her lips. Much to our delight the Plaza Hotel Hostess gives us a note as we check out; just before we call a cab.

_'Mac, bring it back on Monday, Danny.'_ Was the note that was left with the keys to the Chevy Avalanche.

"I had nothing to do with this," Stella confesses with a weak smile as I just shake my head. We load up all our things into the truck and then head for home, hand in hand, talking about when we'd take our week long trip to Florida. We both came to the conclusion that two weeks would be a bit much all at once, so would save the second week for another time. I wait in the truck as Stella rushes into the pizza parlor beside our new home, gathers what we need and then we head for home; our son anxious to see us.

This time it's Stella who he runs to first, calling out '_mummy_!' as he rushes into her waiting arms. I watch with pride and love; no jealousy to be found as I want him to want to love her and need her; wanting her to be his real mother so that he'll never ask again where he came from and my sordid mistake will be a memory that is long since forgotten. Anna's letter did give me a scare and showed me for a split second that my happiness could vanish just like that. But I'll just have to pray hard that everything stays as is and the past never comes back to haunt me; or any of us.

"Daddy!" Cameron lunges into my arms next as Stella heads into the kitchen with lunch. "Missed you sweet boy," I whisper as I plant a warm kiss on his cheek. My mother takes the two garment bags into our bedroom and then joins the three of us for a very casual lunch; the weather outside still raining and miserable, but inside the Taylor apartment, only love and happiness to be found.

We talk about the wedding that took place the night before, laughing at Cameron's antics and smiling as the three of us adults go through the numerous pictures that my mother and others had taken and collected for us.

"Open the present mummy," Cameron begs as he sticks his face into the plastic wrapped gift basket that the hotel gave us the night before.

"Okay," Stella replies in haste as she pulls at the wrapping at the top and then reveals all the goodies inside. Cameron pulls out a brick of expensive cheese and scrunches his face in displeasure, making all of us laugh. However, when he finds some chocolates his face lights up.

"Daddy can I have them?"

"Ask your mother," I tell him and Stella looks at me with a surprised expression.

"Mummy?"

"You can have two and then save the rest for later."

"But..."

"Or you can have nothing now and have the two later?" Stella smiles. This time, however, Cameron doesn't look to me for approval, only nods his head, takes out two chocolates and then places the rest in the basket. I look at my wife with pride and love; once again unspoken words not able to convey what I am feeing inside for her. Cameron continues to dig around, pulling out things he doesn't like but that us adults enjoy immensely.

"Try this one," my mother suggests.

"Mac you'll like this," Stella hands me another.

"This one is my favorite Stella, try it," I tell Stella as I hand one to her and then one to my mother. The friendly banter over our delicious lunch continues until my mother takes her leave; allowing us to clean up and then get busy with the rest of the boxes that we still have to unpack.

Into one of the boxes Stella comes up behind me, wraps her arms around me and offers me a welcomed distraction.

"What is my husband doing?" She whispers in my ear as she plants a soft kiss on my neck.

"Wondering what these are?" I arch my brows as I hold up a few small crystal items.

"No idea," she replies with a slight frown and I just smirk.

"Great."

"I think you need a time out," she tells me as she takes me by the hand and leads me over to the couch. However, as soon as we sit down, Cameron wants part of the action and nestles himself into our arms, looking at both of us with a loving smile.

Stella kisses the top of his head and allows him to settle on us for a mid-after noon nap. "He's tired," she soothes as she gently strokes his warm cheek, dark lashes already covering blue eyes and resting on pink skin. My grip around her shoulders tighten as I plant my own kiss on her cheek.

"You know what this is Mac?"

"What?"

"The perfect afternoon," she whispers.

"Well almost perfect," I tease and she looks at me and shakes her head.

"Gutter mind."

"Me? You knew exactly what I was thinking," I counter and her lips purse. I can't help but lean in and kiss them firmly. "Later?"

"Of course," she smiles as she kisses me in return. "Have you finished looking through all our presents?"

"You mean our oodles of cash and gift cards?"

"Oodles?"

"Okay a modest amount," I gently laugh. "But you know they got me thinking. I'm sorry Stella I never got you a proper wedding present. Both of us have enough material provisions and I'm already taking my family to Disney World, so what on earth could I give that you don't already have or need?"

Stella looks down at Cameron who's asleep so peacefully in her loving embrace and then up at me with a warm smile before she leans in and kisses me once more.

"A little girl?"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so a couple more chapters to go. And I know this chapter was heavy 'sap' but I hope you are all not getting bored yet and thanks so much!!


	16. The Day After Tomorrow

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 16 - The Day After Tomorrow**

* * *

The look on Mac's face says it all; surprise and shock to love and happiness.

"Are you sure?"

"To give the most amazing man in the world the gift of life? A child of our own? Yes I'm sure," I tell him in truth. "I love you Mac Taylor and I want to build a loving family with you and I want that to include a child that's us. I love Cameron, with all my heart and would give my life for him," I state as I look down at the precious child still curled in my arms and then back up at my loving husband. "But I want a child that we create together. But it's also up to you."

"Stella, I would be honored and would love that just as much as you," he whispers and my throat tightens. We linger together for awhile longer until I know it's time to put Cameron to bed.

"He's heavy," I finally mention as Cameron shifts his weight in my arms prompting Mac to gently lift him up and carry him into his new room and tuck him into bed. I then take Mac's hand and lead him into our bedroom, pulling him down on top of the covers with me and closing my eyes as I snuggle into his loving arms. Mac plants a warm kiss on my cheek as he pulls a blanket over us and soon the Taylor household is quiet and still.

A few hours later Mac's warm breath is still on my neck; he's still asleep. I slowly open my eyes and then blink twice. I see Cameron sitting in the corner of our room playing with the box of toys that Mac had kept in his bedroom in the old apartment; something for Cameron to do when he woke up and wanted to be with us. A smile automatically forms as I watch the beautiful little boy before me so nicely and quietly playing in the corner.

He finally looks up and a smile graces his face; a small replica of the man I am in love with and now married to. I hold a finger to my lips and he nods his head as he pushes himself up and hurries over to the bed, Mac's body now lightly stirring beside mine as he too pulls himself from a much needed nap.

"What do you have?" I ask in a hushed tone.

"Can't fix it," Cameron pouts in a sad tone as he hands me the small piece of Lego that his fingers weren't able to work on their own. "Mummy please fixes it."

"Okay let me see," I mention as I take the two pieces and start to fiddle with them. They are stuck but sure enough after working them a bit more, I am able to pry them loose and then hand them back to the eager child.

"Thank you," he politely states as he turns and hurries back to the toy box; plopping down on the floor and getting back to his original task.

"Did he wake you?" Mac queries in a soft tone.

"No," I answer in truth as I fix my eyes on Cameron and watch him with a smile. He puts a few more pieces together and then looks up; raising the new object into the air.

"Wow Cameron, that's wonderful sweetie," I praise and his face beams as he goes back to his project. I twist myself around and look down at Mac, whose looking up at me with a warm smile. Before I would have found it odd, to be in bed with my husband while my child plays in the corner. But now it just seems so natural and welcome; course when we are having sex, like I know we will later, that door will be locked and Cameron will be in his own room. I playfully mess up Mac's hair and he smirks as his body stretches slightly. I plant a warm kiss on his lips and then pull back.

"You must have been tired," I mention and he slowly nods his head.

"Yeah I guess all the excitement over the past few days finally took their toll."

"Well with me here you know what that means?"

"No."

"It mean you'll be getting to bed at a descent hour every night or else."

"What is the or else?" He arches his brows in wonder.

"Oh you want me to say I'm going to handcuff you to the bed."

"You're not?" He pouts and can't help but kiss his mouth once more.

"Well that's a given."

"Good," he smiles once more as his arms around me tighten.

"Daddy look what I build," Cameron states as he climbs onto the bed and pounces on his, forcing Mac's lips to offer a slight gasp when Cameron lands on his stomach. Mac takes the odd shaped piece and then looks at Cameron and smiles.

"Just for that I think Cameron needs to be tickled," he warns. But before Cameron can scamper to safety, Mac's arm shoots out from under the covers, pulls Cameron back and starts to tickle his sides.

"Mum-my...helps..." Cameron laughs as his eyes slightly water.

"Kinda unfair Mac," I warn as I join in. However, instead of attacking Cameron, I gently grab Mac's inner thigh, his most sensitive area and his grasp loosens. I quickly pull his wrists over his head and look at Cameron with a wide smile.

"Tickle daddy!" I announce and Cameron is quick to dig his fingers into Mac's side; forcing my ears to delight in the warm sounds of my husbands laughter. Thankfully Mac is a good sport, not pulling himself free as I know he could but allowing Cameron to think he's got the upper hand for a few minutes. However, when it's his eyes that start to water, I let him loose only to have the tables turned on me and soon I am the tickle victim and my laughter joins theirs; filling the bedroom with the sounds of a very happy family.

Cameron finally loses interest and then pulls himself away from us and hurries back to his toy box, depositing the new item and then heading out of the room.

"He needs a friend Mac," I mention as I Mac's hand rests on my back and starts to gently stroke it.

"We can start practicing right now if you'd like."

"Did you talk to Cameron yet?"

"I'll do that right now," Mac states in haste. I quickly turn back to him and gently push him back down; my lips offering a laugh at his eager expression.

"We aren't going to have sex right now."

"Why not?" Mac frowns and I just smirk.

"Dinner time."

"Ah right. Food...knew there was something else we needed."

"Yeah starvation isn't a good look for any of us. Especially our son."

I slowly ease myself out of the warm nest of covers and head into the kitchen, Mac following. He turns on a movie for Cameron and then starts to clean up a bit before he heads into the kitchen to see what I am doing.

"I am at your service."

"Oh that's a dangerous proposal," I tease as I kiss his lips my hand resting on his ass. "Very tempting." His face reddens when I whisper in his ear but I know it's not the time or place for anything further so before he can offer anything in return, I quickly shove a bunch of carrots into his hands. "Wash," I instruct and he's quick to comply.

XXXXXXXX

Part of me still does worry that Stella will tire of days like today; housebound and not doing anything too exciting. _As long as we are together Mac_, my brain reminds me of her words. I watch her helping Cameron with something; the look of love and contentment on her beautiful face and my heart warms; my brain telling me she is right where she belongs. After dinner I take Cameron to the couch to have '_the talk_' with him about our locked bedroom door.

"Cameron remember what I told you about grownups and locked doors," I start and he looks at me with a slight frown. "What are you supposed to do when the door is locked?"

"...ock first?" He tries and I cant help but smile, forcing him to relax.

"KNock," I instruct.

"Nock," Cameron repeats.

"That's right. So when mummy and I are alone and that door is locked it means we'll need our private time and if you knock and we don't answer it's because we are busy."

"Why?"

I offer a silent curse, praying the barrage of 'whys' would be spared but apparently not.

"Because we need our alone time."

"Why?"

"Because mummy and I um...well there are times when we will need privacy."

"Why?"

"Because mummy and daddy will be having sex," Stella states firmly and I look up at her in shock.

"What's sex?" He ponders with a frown.

"Yeah thanks," I huff and she laughs as she nears us.

She slowly eases herself down beside me, taking Cameron's hand in hers and holding it firmly.

"Sex is when mummy and daddy are expressing their love for each other and Cameron isn't allowed. It's for adults only. But it doesn't mean you have been bad; it just means it's something for mummy and daddy only. When we are finished, we'll open the door. Is that okay?"

He looks at Stella and then at me and then shrugs. "Okay," he agrees before he pushes himself up and heads back to the movie, unpausing it and then slumping back onto his beanbag chair to continue.

"And why didn't you just talk to him in the first place?"

"I thought you liked the sex talk."

"I do with you only," I counter and she playfully slaps my knee.

"As I said before naughty boy."

"Will you punish me now?"

"Yes, I'm going to send you to your room alone and I'm going to watch TV with Cameron."

"Ouch," I state in mock hurt as she pokes my side. I gently grab her arm and pull her close, kissing her lips before she can offer anything in the way of a verbal protest. "So if you can't leave then I'm not alone right?" I tease as I hold her close, allowing her struggling body to tempt me. Her musical laughter fills the air as I hold her close, not letting go.

"Help Cameron!" Stella lightly squeals as I poke her side and she laughs, but my strong arms ensure she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

"Daddy lets go," Cameron urges as he tugs on my arm.

"Mummy's trapped," I tease as I hold Stella firmly in my grasp, not letting go. However, I am so distracted by keeping Stella in place that I don't see Cameron bring the soft rope lasso that he got with one of his toys until he drops it over my head, allowing it to land around my forearms, immediately pulling my arms to my sides; allowing Stella to go free.

"Hey!" I offer in protest and Cameron laughs. However, Stella takes advantage of my situation and wraps the rest of the rope around my arms, keeping them tied to my sides; tightening the knot behind me and out of reach.

"Very funny," I shake my head as Cameron bounces on the couch beside us.

"Daddy's tied up," he laughs as he pokes me in the chest. I make a small move like I am going to bite his hand and he laughs as he pulls back. But with Stella still on my lap, I can do little else than sit there, captive.

"Daddy's tied up," Stella whispers as she leans toward my other ear and kisses it. "Mmm like captive Mac very much."

"Um..." I gently groan as my body wants to react. However, with my four year old son only inches from me, I know I better keep myself in check. "Stella you can't leave me like this."

"Cameron bed time," Stella mentions as she looks at me with a playful smile and my face starts to flush.

"Very funny," I frown.

"Go get into your pajamas and I'll be there to tuck you in."

"What?" I ask weakly. "Stella are you serious?"

"Okay mummy," he smiles as he hops off the couch and heads for his bedroom and Stella looks back at me with a wicked grin.

"And where will I be?" I ask with a growing smile; still helpless before my wife.

"All tied up and waiting for me to return and tuck you in."

"But..." I offer in protest as she gets off my lap and then pulls me upright. "Stella," I gently groan as she leads me to the bedroom and then pushes me backward onto the bed. With my arms still tied to my sides, I can't get up and so only watch her near me with a wicked smile. She pushes me all the way onto the bed and then turns to leave. "You were serious about leaving me like this?" I ask as I start to pull against the ropes holding me fast. "Damn it Stella, I can't move."

"That's the idea handsome," she whispers as she eases herself down beside me, my body already going hard in sexual anticipation. "Mmmm love when you struggle like that for me Mac," she whispers as she kisses me on the lips before I can offer another word of protest. "Be right back."

"Stella," I moan as I try in vain to reach behind me and loosen the knot. "You can't...leave me"

"Don't go anywhere Mac," she winks as she heads for the door, closing it behind her and sealing me away from our son.

I continue my useless struggle on the bed; however my mind races with delight at the thought that Stella will come back and have her way with me. I slump down a few minutes later, my brow and back damp with sweat, but as I hear her open the door and then look at me with hungry desire, my heart races. She locks the door and slowly walks toward me.

"Thanks Mac, I was kinda distracted when I was putting him to bed."

"And that is my fault?" I tease. "You left me like this."

"I should do it more often."

"Was he upset I wasn't there?"

"I told him tonight it was my turn and tomorrow was yours."

"Oh so then I get to tie you up?" I ask eagerly as she nears the edge of the bed.

"Nice try," she smiles down at me. "This is my fantasy." Then before I can say another word, she slowly starts to remove her top, her fingers resting on the zipper of her jeans, my jeans already tighter in certain areas.

"Damn Stella, you can't leave me like this," I moan as she starts to tug my jeans free, my arms still captive at my sides.

"Are you going to let me go?" I whisper as she lowers herself down.

XXXXXXXX

"I'm never letting you go," I mention as I start to hungrily devour his waiting lips. Putting Cameron to bed was a delight, however, knowing Mac was here tied up and waiting for me, I must admit did distract my motherly duties somewhat. Feeling him lightly struggling beneath me is feeding my desire for him even further and as I loosen the ropes and feel his strong arms wrap around me holding me close as we start to make love, my mind and heart are finally at peaceful rest.

"Stella..." Mac offers my name in a warm groan as his lips plant warm kisses on my neck, forcing my body to arch further into his, holding him down on the bed as our rhythm increases. "Feels...so good," he mumbles as my tongue dips into the crook of his ear.

"You feel so good," I whisper and his arms around me tighten, holding my naked body firmly against his naked body as we near climax.

"Mac!" I gasp his name as our union comes to an end and then I slump down on his warm chest in happy exhaustion. "I think tonight...was the best yet," I manage as I look up at him with a warm smile. "If you like this idea of foreplay that much, that rope is staying in this room."

"Great," Mac smirks as he pushes some damp pieces of hair off my face.

"Yeah I didn't hear you really complaining that much. But if you didn't like it then..." I start only to have Mac bring my lips to his and taste them firmly.

"The rope stays here," he confirms with a smile. "Have I told you how amazing you really are?" He whispers and I can only smile at his compliment.

"You mean because of this?"

"Because of this...making dinner...talking to Cameron about...well things in life...just all of it. I love you more than anything," he confesses and my heart soars.

We linger together a bit longer before Mac pulls open the covers and we push ourselves inside. With the door locked and the child monitor on, we'll be able to hear Cameron when he wakes up; the true test will be when he tries to knock and then won't be allowed in.

My mind wonders if he'll be mad but all I can do is speculate and so knowing that will only drive me crazy, I close my eyes, my mind now focusing on my husband tied up at my mercy and I am quickly asleep with a smile on my face. As suspected morning comes all too quickly and I slowly open my eyes to see Mac watching me with a warm smile.

"Did you sleep at all?" I ask him in hushed concern.

"Actually very well; my wife wisely tired me out before bed."

"Ah so she's to blame. Smart woman."

"I agree," Mac smiles as he plants a warm kiss on my lips. "Did you sleep?"

"With you tied up at my mercy? Kinda hard _knot_ to Mac," I tease and he smirks. However, we finally hear Cameron stirring and Mac wants to quickly cover himself and open the door. But I gently touch his arm and we both hear a soft knock on the door. When neither of us answer, another knock is heard; followed by footsteps heading into the living room and then the TV springs to life.

"It worked," Mac states in amazement.

"Mac, it won't be every morning, I mean we can't always have to fall asleep in the nude."

"We can't?"

"No."

"Love the feel of your skin next to mine," he murmurs as he kisses my bare shoulder. "But I agree. How about after we have our date nights?"

"Like the sound of that," I confess in truth. But we both agree that it's not good to leave Cameron out there by himself so with a hint of regret, Mac slowly pushes himself out of bed and heads into the attached bathroom to get his day started; while I wrap myself in a robe and head outside to find Cameron.

"Mummy!" He smiles as he drops the remote and hurries into my arms for an early morning hug.

"Morning sweet boy," I whisper as I hold him close and kiss him on his warm cheek. And while in the past I might have tired waking up to just my own glum expression in the morning, I'll never tire of hearing Cameron call my mummy and greet me with a loving hug and kiss. "Were you okay this morning?"

"Sure," he shrugs and I know he doesnt know what I mean. "Where's daddy?"

"He's in the bathroom. Go and knock and see if you can have a shower with him."

"Kay!" Cameron smiles as he turns and runs for our bedroom.

I hear him knocking on the door and then Mac's warm voice as he allows him to enter and my eyes want to water; out of happiness, not sorrow. I slowly stand up and look around the room before me. I see toys near the TV unit, which now also houses a myriad of children's DVD's. A shelf near the couch that has Cameron's reading books within arm's reach so that when we start back into our regular routine of reading with him each night, they'll be where we need them. I see his drawings on the fridge, his shoes and coat by the door and then glance toward the open door of his room.

"My life is now complete," I whisper as I head into the kitchen to start the coffee. Mac finishes his shower and then presents himself freshly cleaned.

"Mmm shower Mac," I smile as I kiss his cheek. "You smell good."

"Go have your shower and Cameron and I will make breakfast."

"Really?"

"Our treat," he assures me. "Right Cameron?"

"Yes," Cameron agrees, not sure what his father just asked of him.

I kiss Mac once more and then take my leave; heading into our bathroom to get my day officially started. When I come back out, Mac has started a simple pancake batter and Cameron is slowly ferrying items back and forth to the table for us.

"My family," I state with a warm smile; forcing Mac to look up and return a smile as well. "My dream came true Mac."

"For us also," he replies as Cameron comes back into the kitchen.

"And what are you up to?"

"Making ...ancakes for mummy."

"Pancakes?" I ask and he nods his head.

"Say it Cameron," Mac instructs. "PAncakes."

"PAN...cakes," he tries and we both smile. Mac brings the food to the table and soon we are eating breakfast like a regular family on a Sunday morning, enjoying each other's company and then talking about the day ahead; a day we'll just spend like we did yesterday. Relaxing and having fun together.

"And we can do tonight what we did last night?"

"You mean play cowboys and Indians?" I tease as Mac and I do the dishes after breakfast. "And who will I be?"

"Doesn't matter as long as I end up like I did last night," he states eagerly and I just roll my eyes. However, I know as today will come to a close, Mac's real test will be facing his old team tomorrow when he reclaims the Manhattan lab as his once again.

XXXXXXXX

I try to get my brain to focus on another exciting sexual escapade, my brain is now worried about seeing the old team tomorrow. But tomorrow won't be just another stop over like last week; tomorrow I'm in charge once again, calling the shots and being in charge of a lab and team I never should have walked out of in the first place; Stella once again as my partner and now my wife.

"Thinking about tomorrow?" Stella asks as she joins me by the window, wrapping her arm around my waist and placing her head on my shoulder.

"Guess it's obvious?"

"Your tense Mac and I can't think of another reason."

"I know," I sigh heavily as I look at her sideways and offer a slight smile. "Care to distract me?"

"Well since Cameron isn't tired and it's not raining right now, how about we take him for a walk and then tire him out so that I can tire you out?"

"That sounded complicated but if it ends with me having you then I'm all for it," I grin and she playfully pokes my side. I offer a slight smirk but have to agree she's right. So without wasting further time, we all get ready and then head outside for a walk to the nearby market; needing a few things but mostly wanting to clear my head before I go to bed tonight, as it is, I doubt I'll get any sleep tonight.

We head into the market place, Stella and I taking turns holding Cameron's hand as we shop for a few items, putting back unnecessary items that Cameron finds necessary to put into the basket.

"Smarties mummy," Cameron states enthusiastically as he grabs a handful of bags and holds them up to Stella. She looks at me and I just shrug.

"You can get one bag Cameron," she tells him and he quickly places one bag of the colorful candies into my basket and then shoves the rest of them into their small candy shelf, messing up the rest of the display.

"Cameron!" I scold as a clerk hurries up to us.

"Sowry dadda..." he starts to moan, his eyes instantly threatening to go red and I know he's now tired and needing a nap.

"It's okay," the clerk assures us as Cameron starts to whimper.

"Someone needs a nap," I mention as I hand the basket to Stella and then scoop Cameron into my arms and head for the door, waiting for Stella to pay. I lock eyes with her while she waits in line and feel my heart warm all over again when she offers me a look of love and I know in that instant I am the luckiest man in the world.

For Stella to mention having another child was something I had prayed for long ago but feared would never happen; especially when Cameron came on the scene. I know it would have been ideal to have two close together in age, not a four year gap but I can't undo what I did and as I hold the precious little being in my arms, feeling his soft breath on my neck, I don't regret him for one minute. But to know that Stella wants to expand our family is a dream coming true for me. I want a child of my own with her; the woman I love more than anything. I want Cameron to have a sibling, boy or girl and I want my mother to have more than one grandchild.

Stella walks back to me and loops her arm in mine as we slowly head out of the market and then for home, talking about our plans for dinner.

"But your mind is still focused on tomorrow right?"

"Always tomorrow right?"

"So when all goes well can I say I told you so tomorrow night?"

"Yes," I tell her firmly as we enter our apartment once more; a quick stop at my mothers to extend a dinner time invitation. She will resume her babysitting duties during the week, but I know she'll linger after hours less and less, not wanting to interfere with the time Stella and I will have to spend with Cameron after a long day of work. However, the four of us will continue to draw closer, that much is a given.

I put Cameron into his bed and then go in search of Stella. I head into our bedroom and see her looking at wedding photos on the bed and ease myself down beside her. Without saying a word, she places the camera between us and starts to quietly talk about the events of that blissful day. She finally puts the camera down and then pulls me into her arms, both of us leaning back on the bed to rest.

"Close your eyes and rest Mac."

"But I thought we were..."

"Mac you are distracted by work."

"Sex always..."

"Please Mac...just close your eyes now and rest."

Her fingers gently massage my head as I close my eyes at her request, my mind and body having no trouble falling into a light slumber.

However, when I start to stir about half hour later I find that my situation has completely changed. I quickly open my eyes to see that I am still lying on the bed, however, I am only in my underwear and night shirt; my wrists are cuffed overhead; but Stella isn't anywhere to be found.

"Stella?" I gently call as I struggle in vain. I watch as the bedroom door slowly starts to open and I watch as my wife enters wearing only a robe.

"Mmm sorry had to check on something," she whispers as she nears the bed, running a finger up my captive leg, nearing my thigh and forcing my body to harden under her touch.

"Stella...help," I beg as my body responds to her continued touch.

"Dangerous to fall asleep in my arms Mac. Now I can take advantage of you," she tells me as she slowly undoes the robe to reveal her perfectly naked body. "Don't worry the door's locked," she whispers as she works on my underwear.

"Make love to me Stella."

"No I think I'll leave you just like that," she teases as she pulls back.

I strain against the black fuzzy handcuffs, slumping my head down in vain. "My wife is a cruel woman," I moan as her body finally spoons up beside mine.

"Well you were very distracted earlier Mac and I had to force your mind to where I wanted it."

"Trust me you didn't need this but..."

"Okay so then before you ask, you are staying like that," she tells me firmly.

"I..." is all I manage before she silences me with a firm kiss, her body slowly easing on top of mine and moving into loving making position.

"Mmm missed you Mac," she whispers as she kisses the area around my ear before moving to my neck, forcing my captive body to arch into hers, further begging for her love.

Since I am unable to hold her or guide her lips to mine when I need them, I allow her to take full control; not minding in the least that she'll use my body as she needs to, knowing that I more than return the favor. She silences me once more, forcing her tongue into the warm folds of my mouth, effectively silencing any moans that my lips wanted to produce as our rhythm increases.

"Oh Mac..." she moans as my body arches into hers once more. Her fingers make small trails up my captive arms, forcing my arms and body in general to flex and harden again and another moan of delight to escape her lips. Small beads of sweat gently roll off my face and are quickly caught in the folds of the blanket below us; our naked bodies on fire and glistening with sweat.

We reach climax and soon the room is still; Stella finally freeing me. I wrap my arms around her naked body and hold her close, planting warm kisses on her face as she looks at me with a loving smile.

"Bet this worked right?"

"Stella around you I'll always..."

"Mac?"

"Yes it worked, thank you.

"I love you Mac. I know tomorrow will be hard on you but you know the team, you have faced them already and you know what to expect. There will be gossip, but who cares right?"

"Right," I gently frown as she brushes some damp hair off my forehead. "And I have Sinclair on my side right?"

"The battle is half over already. Just tell yourself you are not going to dwell on the negative things."

"Somehow I don't think my partner will let me."

"You bet your ass she won't," Stella teases and I just have to chuckle. We finally pull apart and start to get dressed; Stella smiling as she snatches it out of my hand. "This is mine."

"Me or those?"

"Both," she states firmly as she tucks the cuffs into a small corner in the drawer on her side of the bed. "As is that dresser; you are not allowed in there."

"What?" I ask in shock. "Stella, we are married now, we have to share."

"I don't share," she teases. "You or anything else."

I can't help but reward her with a small smile as it's my turn to kiss her mouth before we open the door and then head into the living room; knowing that I am going to get even on her very soon and use whatever is in that drawer to my advantage.

Cameron finally greets us and soon the TV is on and lively conversation ensues about what things we'll do together as a family now that winter is approaching. We talk about ice skating, going to hockey games, our trip away as a family and a few other things. My mother comes and joins us and soon the four of us are around the dinner table and talking about the week ahead; another possible outing with the Messer's the following Saturday if the weather holds up.

"Or we could just have them here. After all they did have us over there," Stella reminds me. However, as the evening draws to a close my mind is now racing with thoughts about tomorrow. Even when I go in to see Cameron and put him to bed, I know my attention isn't where it should be and I feel somewhat guilty.

"Cameron you were such a good boy over the past few days," I praise as I kiss him on the cheek. "Tomorrow daddy and mummy have to get back to our regular routine and go back to work so during the day you'll stay with gramma as you have been up until now. Is that okay?"

"Okay daddy," he smiles as he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes.

"Night sweet boy," I whisper as I tuck him in and then head for my own bedroom. However, instead of finding Stella naked or in a state of undress, I find her already waiting in bed, dressed in her own pajamas.

"Are you disappointed?" She's quick to question the odd look on my face.

"No but..."

"Mac, I know you are tired and I don't expect you to perform at your best when all you'll be thinking about I work. You change and come and rest and tomorrow we'll have the hot sex we didn't have tonight."

"Okay," I am quick to agree and she laughs. I change and then ease myself into her waiting embrace, my head resting on her chest as I am taken into a night of fitful rest. But as I suspected, my mind displayed distorted images of the team rejecting me; Sinclair firing me and Stella walking out on me for no reason and I spend most of the night staring at the window in torment. Stella's soft voice beckons me to sleep a few times and I feel selfish for keeping her up but I just can't get to sleep; I need to cross this hurdle in order for things to be back on the smooth track.

"You sure you don't want coffee?" Stella asks me the following morning as I nervously pace the living room.

"No, I just want to get today over with."

"Okay then let's go," she tells me as my mother knocks on the door.

"Did he sleep at all last night?"

"Nope," Stella replies and I just shake my head. We both say our goodbyes to Cameron and then head for the door, Stella driving the Avalanche in order to give my nerves a chance to calm down. But as we reach the underground parking my heart is about to explode from anxiety.

"Mac you will be fine," she squeezes my hand and I offer a tight lipped smile in return. We both get out of the truck and head for the elevator. I pass by a few people in the parking lot who offer polite smiles but that's all. As soon as I step off the elevator, however, it feels as though I never left. The lab is abuzz with workers, no one making a huge fuss of my return as I had so wrongly surmised.

"I think I'm going to enjoy saying I told you so all day," Stella teases as we slowly walk toward my office. But instead of rounding the corner and peering into an office to find boxes to unpack, I see the work has already been done and I turn to Stella with a slight frown.

"What on earth?"

"Lindsay and Emily did this on Friday," Stella informs me. "With a little help from Adam and Haylen."

"I see."

"Well as this isn't a social day..." Stella starts with a small laugh as she gently squeezes my shoulder and heads for her own office. "Be right back."

"Morning Mac," Sinclair greets me. "I see some things haven't changed."

"So it would appear."

"You know I'm not going to give you the royal treatment," he states with a slight smirk.

"Wasn't expecting it."

"Good, so go and brief your team and then you have a new case to handle."

"Right," I just shake my head as I leave him and go in search of Stella.

"Welcome back boss," Adam greets me in the hallway as he and Sheldon walk up to me. "Got a new case," he states in haste.

"Yeah Adam, I think he gathered we weren't on our way out shopping," Sheldon smiles.

"Big Mac," Danny greets us as he joins us in the hallway, Stella on her way to join in the merry mix.

"Is this a party?" She queries with an arched brow.

"Mac's the boss now," Danny teases and Stella shoots him a warning glance and his smile fades. "Right."

I watch Adam and Sheldon take their leave and then turn to face Danny and Stella. "And what do we have?"

"DB near the Brooklyn Bridge," Danny informs us. "Details are kinda sketchy right now."

"Lack of witnesses or is our detective sleeping?"

"Well I'd like to think I got a good night's sleep last night so chalk it up to a loser witnesses," Flack's friendly voice greets us from behind. I turn to face him in surprise, my eyes begging for an explanation. "Emily doesn't mind long distance relationships."

"But..."

"Couldn't let you come back here and leave me all alone on the other side of the world Mac."

"Good to be back as a team," is all I can manage. I watch as Danny and Don turn and head for the elevator, telling us they'll meet us at the scene; laughing and talking as the two best friends we know them to be, as if nothing ever changed. I turn to Stella and she just smiles.

"Tomorrow finally came Mac, I love you," she states softly. "Now let's go to work."

XXXXXXXX

"Right," is all Mac gives me in reply. I was worried that he'd have a heart attack when he walked in as he was so nervous and stressed since dinner time last night. But as we get our kits and head for the elevator, I know inside that everything is going to be okay from now on.

Flack and Emily have agreed to him joining us back here and things seem to be progressing between them better than I think even they expected. With Mac's office already set up, there is less negative memories for him to dwell upon. I look back and see myself and him arguing so many years ago. However, I am thankful that it fades and is now replaced with only happy images of the two of us side by side until we both quit together.

"Stella?"

I turn to face him with a smile as we stand before the elevator doors. "You better not tire yourself out in the field today."

"And why is that?" He wonders.

"We have a lot of work ahead of us tonight when we get home."

"Such as?" He arches his brows as the elevator doors open.

"Working on expanding our family."

"Really like the sound of that. With Flack back here and us together as a team can today get any better?"

"Yes it can Mac. From now on we'll both be going home to our family, that sounds pretty amazing to me. A dream come true."

And as the doors hiss shut, I hear the words I have longed to hear him utter in a setting such as this.

"I love you Stella Taylor, forever."

And while at one time, a few years back, our emotional wellbeing at the time might have seemed in danger, our future was always assured; the happy ending we both worked so hard to obtain was not only within reach, it was now being fulfilled every day. And as we both have come to know and appreciate, tomorrow is always there, the promise of a new day; a new adventure waiting to be lived; a new destiny waiting to be realized and a new story waiting to be written. Mac and I are together, nothing else matters.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay so this chapter is shorter b/c I thought I was going to end it here b/c I noticed the reviews dropped from the previous chapter so I don't want you all getting bored! eek! But I have decided to add one more chapter and then an epilogue. Hope that's okay and please let me know. Thanks again!


	17. A New Story Begins

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 17 - A New Story Begins**

**A/N: Guys check out my forum for the latest scoop on Mac having to make a choice in the love department. Stop by the forum to discuss and speculate. **

* * *

"Mac?" Stella gently asks as we sit in the Avalanche at the light on the way home. "You okay?"

"Just hard to believe how fast today went," I answer as my mind flashes me images of today; the team back in action and treating me like I never left.

_'Boss can you check this out? I think that...' Adam had asked._

_'Big Mac, you got that stuff from the alley? I think we need it for...' Danny was next._

_'Detective Taylor. I just need you to sign this for...' Haylen was after Danny._

_'How was your time off?' Sid wondered with a warm smile._

_'Mac, I got this that needs...' Sheldon started._

_'Thanks for bringing Don with you. Now I need...'_

_'Lindsay had offered...'_

And on it went.

"Don't know why I was so worried."

"Hmmm that's because you are _human_ Mac," Stella throws at me and I just smirk.

"No one asked personal questions and everyone treated me like I never left."

"Felt good to have you back at my side again Mac. No more going to scenes alone and wondering who was waiting and..."

"Okay, okay...you really like to torture me don't you?" I counter and she nods her head.

"Oh I think a little bit of payback is in order."

"But I'm the boss again remember?"

"Co boss Mac. Nice try," she tosses at me and I just shake my head. "Remember, even _you _agreed to that."

"Right, what was I thinking?" I smirk and she smiles.

"But today is a first for me also Mac."

"You never left."

"I also never went home to the family I always wanted after a job I actually love doing, to a husband I waited my whole life for," Stella squeezes my hand. "I'm almost nervous."

"Nervous?"

"True test of being a wife and mother starts tonight Mac. No more fun and games."

"What?" I ask in disbelief and she gently laughs. "No more fun?"

"Oh you know what I meant," Stella corrects in haste. "But I'm glad that Cameron will never have to wonder where his mummy will be."

"And neither will I."

We finally reach home and although I won't admit it to Stella right now but inside I am actually kinda nervous also. I slowly turn the key and we trade excited glances, but they are both accompanied by warm smiles and I know my anxiety is going to fade as soon as I see my son's face.

"Mummy! Daddy!" Cameron shouts as I push the door open and he rushes toward us. I allow Stella to drop to her knee and greet him first, her eyes misting as she holds him close and looks up at me with a loving glance. I kneel down beside her and wrap my arms around them both and hold them close.

"Missed you Cameron."

"Want to see what I drawed?" He asks excitedly as my mother slowly walks up to us.

"I would love to sweet boy."

"He didn't have his nap today," she informs us as she offers us both smiles and a hug to Stella. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"You don't have to leave Millie," Stella states in haste.

"Cameron needs his alone time with his family," she replies in haste. "There's a message from Lindsay and some left over spaghetti in the fridge. Cameron and I will have that for lunch tomorrow."

"Goodnight Millie," Stella states as she closes the door and then looks at me with a slight frown.

"What?"

"Hard to describe this feeling Mac. Coming home to this..." her voice trails off as she holds Cameron firmly in her arms, his fingers playing with a button on her coat. "Being with my family and knowing that tonight I'll be here and I won't have to leave. Ever."

"Never," I state as I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek and then Cameron's.

"Hi daddy."

"Hi Cameron," I smile as I take him from Stella's arms, offer him my own warm hug and then place him back down on the floor. "Why not listen to Lindsay's message and I'll get supper started."

"Mac, I don't mind starting my role from day one. But you are going to help me or else."

"Trust me I'm looking forward to it," I admit in truth, as I head for the bedroom, taking off my suit jacket as Stella listens to Lindsay's message.

"Lucy wants a park date with Cameron," Stella calls out and I just chuckle as I unbutton my dress shirt and take it off, hanging it up and removing my dress pants just as Stella enters the room. "Please continue," she smiles and my face warms. "This Saturday. What do you say?"

"Tell her yes," I tell her firmly.

"No hesitation?" Stella queries with an arched brow.

"No reason to hesitate any longer Stella."

"Happy to hear that Mac," she praises as I walk up to her. "Come on handsome, time to make dinner."

I follow after Stella into the kitchen, Cameron rushing up to show us what he's done. I take a break from my task to watch as Stella stops cooking, bends down to Cameron, looks at what he wants to show her and then continues. A few minutes later, we both watch as Cameron drags his chair between us and stands up.

"Want to help with suppa mummy," Cameron offers as he stands up beside her, his soft expression and loving blue eyes wide with expectation.

"I would love that," Stella manages weakly as she kisses the top of his head and then looks up at me; her eyes almost wet. "Thank you Mac," she whispers and my heart melts.

XXXXXXXX

Having Mac at my side in the field all day, coming home to Cameron, holding him close and now having him right beside me helping to make dinner is something I can't even express in words. It's overwhelming how I feel inside and I'm almost afraid to believe today was real and not just a cruel joke purported by fate itself and I will wake up alone tomorrow as I fear. I glance up at Mac who's showing Cameron how to do something and my heart instantly warms. His strong hands and warm voice captivate the attention of the loving child beside him and it's hard to imagine that I almost missed out on all of this. _I love you Mac, so much_. He looks up at me, offers a loving smile and my day is set.

Cameron's fingers grasp at something I am doing and he laughs when he finally succeeds in taking the object from me, looking up with a wide grin. "Mine mummy."

"But you are mine," I give him a squeeze and he squeals when my fingers poke his tender sides. We finally finish with the food and then sit down at the table; our first dinner as a family after a regular working day. Mac and I talk a few minutes about work but mostly we spend our time listening to Cameron prattle away about his day.

"Gamma drawed this with me and..." his voice trails off on another tangent as listen as captive guests. Mac's fingers wrap around mine and squeeze.

"Cameron, want to play Twister with daddy after supper?"

"Stella?"

"TISTER! YES!" Cameron shouts as he hops off his chair and goes in search of the elusive game.

I look over at Mac and smile. "Oh you knew I couldn't hold out on that game much longer, right?"

"Hmm I'll have to remember that mischievous smile means you have something up your sleeve."

"You don't want to?"

"Of course I do," he leans forward and kisses my cheek. "But this has to be the G-rated game."

"Darn knew I forgot something," I huff and he rolls his eyes. "Of course I know that."

"Found it mummy!" Cameron exclaims as he rushes back to us with a clear plastic bag that houses the game.

"You go and get set up and I'll clean up the table. That was our arrangement right?"

"Mac, I don't mind helping to clean up. That was our arrangement, that we share."

"Cameron trumps both of us."

Cameron tugs at my hand and I know I have lost this round. So with a weak smile I let Mac clear the table as I follow Cameron into the living room and help him set up. I watch Cameron pull out the large plastic play sheet and then get busy helping him unfold it just as Mac joins us.

"Cameron you spin first," Mac instructs and Cameron is quick to nod his head. He gets his first placement instruction but because his frame isn't large enough lies down and starts to laugh.

"Cheater," Mac teases as he pokes his side.

"Mummy's turn!" Cameron states as he doesn't move.

"Alright Mac, spin away." Mac tells me where to place myself and soon I am looking down at Cameron who starts to play with my curls, pulling them and then laughing when they bounce back up, my face almost in pain from smiling so much.

"My turn," Mac tells us and then comes to join us.

"You're too heavy," I gently grunt as Mac's frame rests on mine.

"Stel..." he starts only to have me drop to my belly, shielding Cameron as Mac lands on top of us. Cameron starts to laugh and soon we are both joining him. The game lasts about an hour, mostly us taking a few turns; laughing and just enjoying spending some quality family time together.

My face is flushed by the time l surrender, lying on my back and looking sideways at Cameron who also has a flushed face, his eyes struggling to stay open.

"He didn't have a nap today."

"Time for bed Cameron," Mac suggests and Cameron is actually happy to comply. He slowly nods his head and then offers me a sleepy smile.

"Goodnight sweet boy," I whisper as I gather him into my arms and hold on; once again afraid I'll let go only to wake up in the morning alone, all this a wonderful dream. He kisses my cheek and then Mac carries him to his bedroom, talking softly as he gets him ready for bed and I slowly head into ours. I strip down to my underwear when I hear our bedroom door close and I turn to see Mac watching me with a warm smile.

"Tired?"

"After all that wrestling foreplay? That just warmed me up. You?" I arch a brow and his grin widens as he's quick to tug off his t-shirt and then hurry toward me. He quickly captures me in his arms and as we both roll onto the bed.

"You're still half dressed," I complain as Mac's lips lower to mine. I am unable to offer another word of protest as Mac's mouth starts to hungrily devour mine, drowning out all audible words and moans. However, my playful husband is quick to reach into our bedside drawer and retrieve our favorite adult toy and captures one wrist overhead. And unlike him being very compliant for me, his strength ensures that my struggles are indeed real and very much short lived as he succeeds in capturing the other wrist overhead.

"Mac!"

"Love when you struggle for me Stella," he mumbles as his fingers start to gently caress my captive frame, forcing my body to arch and his to harden further. "Be right back."

"Mac?"

"Hold that thought Stella," he teases and now I know how he feels with I do that to him.

"And you get after me for doing this," I moan as I pull against the restraints holding me in place.

"Doing what?" He teases.

"You are so bad," I groan and he smirks.

"Who do you think I learned it from?" He counters and I just shake my head. "You have only yourself to blame for your current predicament."

"I will get even Taylor."

"I hope so."

I watch as he walks to the door and locks it; something I forgot to do and then walks back, his jeans already off, his body ready for mine.

"Mmm love to see you like this," he smiles down at my captive frame, tempting him with slowly movements.

"Make love to me Mac," I beg with a soft moan as his fingers remove any trace of fabric that was covering my body. His strong hands grip my naked sides as we start our love making session, his body giving all it can and taking whatever it needs from mine. Mac is such a selfless lover, sometimes unsure that he's doing everything he can to please me but at the same time sure of what he can give.

"I love you Mac," I whisper as his lips start to devour mine once more before moving to my neck, forcing my body to arch into his; another moan of delight escaping my lips as our union continues. With the door locked, neither of us are afraid that Cameron will walk in when we don't want him to and so that ensures our minds and hearts are where they should be, on trying to satisfy each other.

"Stella..." Mac moans as my body offers another sensation to his. "I love you so much," he murmurs as his lips are once again on mine. We near the end of our union and just as we finish, Mac calls my name and the room is still. "Wow...that was..."

"Amazing," I gently pant, almost out of breath. "Okay you can let me go now."

"No way," he states huskily as he brushes some damp curls off my face. "I'm never letting you go."

He kisses me once more and then undoes one of the cuffs and allows me to wrap my arms around him, holding him close as I taste his salty lips once more. We finally pull apart and get dressed in sleep clothes; having decided to only sleep naked every Friday if possible; after our adult date night so that Cameron can come and see us in the morning during the week. I unlock the door and then head back to bed, Mac waiting for me with a warm smile. I climb in beside him and kiss him on his flushed cheek.

"Stella what is it?" He asks, noticing my worried expression.

"Promise me Mac. Promise me that tomorrow when I wake up you'll be with me. That this isn't just a wonderful dream."

"Come here," he whispers as his strong arms wrap around me, holding me close. "I love you Stella Taylor. You are here to stay, I promise."

XXXXXXXX

I can't really blame Stella for wondering if all this will be taken away as I too have the same fear, that I'll wake up tomorrow morning and everything that happened tonight will be a dream and I'll be alone once again. I feel her body finally starting to fall asleep in my arms, her perfect lips offering small snoring sounds that I have come to adore; sounds that now lull me into a deep sleep.

Thankfully when I finally open my eyes the next morning I see that yesterday was in fact real and I am greeted by the beautiful face of my amazing wife; emerald and sapphire colliding in a showdown of warmth and love.

"You're still here," she whispers, touching my face to assure herself that I am not just a figment of her imagination.

"So are you," I reply as I kiss her on the lips. We both hear a soft knock at the door and Stella looks at me with a weak smile. We had left it slightly open the night before but even though it wasn't closed all the way, Cameron remembered to knock.

"Cameron you can come in," I invite and we both watch as a small sleepy face appears looking at us with a frown.

"What's wrong Cameron?" Stella is quick to inquire.

"Tummy's sore," he moans as he approaches the bed and then slowly climbs up to see us, his eyes almost wet.

"Oh Cameron come to mummy," Stella states sadly as she pulls him into her arms and gently places his head on her shoulder, looking up at me with a small frown. "He's really warm."

"Too much excitement right after dinner. Sorry I should have..." I start with a frown.

"Mac, we both didn't think about him," she huffs as her fingers warmly stroke his back. "Do you want to throw up Cameron?" Stella queries and he shakes his head no. "I guess he should just take it easy today."

"I'll call mom and tell her to come over when you leave."

"Mac?"

"Stella, our priority is to our family," I tell her as I plant a loving kiss on her forehead. "Besides, I think your boss will understand if you're late."

"You just like the sound of that don't you?" She counters and I just smirk. "Thank you."

"Stella to see the love and caring attention you have for m..._our _son is more than I could have ever hoped for. Before when he was sick, I would just leave him with my mother and hope for the best. I know she loves him but...well to see you, his mother caring for him...that's more thanks than you might ever imagine. To say I love you almost doesn't seem enough."

Stella's lips curl upward once more as she shifts Cameron to one side, carefully placing his small body into the warm nest of blankets and allowing him to curl onto his side, his head on her belly. "Just go and get ready and hand me the phone before you have your shower."

"Stella..."

"Mac, we'll be fine."

"Right," I gently frown as I plant a soft kiss on Cameron's forehead and then push myself out of bed. I hand Stella the phone and then offer my sleeping son one more glance before I hear Stella talking to my mother and I head into the bathroom to get ready. I try to concentrate on shaving and making myself presentable, but this is the first real test that Stella has faced as a mother and I hope it's nothing that will make her think negatively about the decision she's made. Thankfully when I exit the bathroom next, ready to head into the lab, everything is as it should be and once again my worry was unjustified.

"I'm going to stay home with him," Stella tells me and I look at her with a small lump forming in my throat. Cameron is still asleep in our bed, a small frown on his delicate face and my heart warms as she takes my hand and squeezes it. "Cameron needs his mother."

"He does," I whisper as I plant a kiss on the top of her head. She places the child monitor right beside him and we both slowly walk toward the kitchen, the bedroom door left open so that we can hear him if he needs us. We talk about what the week will bring us and now wondering if Cameron will be well enough to go out to the park on Saturday.

"Call me if you need anything," I tell Stella as I head for the door and then turn to her with a heavy frown before pulling her into my arms and holding her close.

"He's going to be fine Mac, he just needs to really rest," Stella assures me as she touches my cheek. "Will you?"

"Will be hard to concentrate that's for sure."

"What did you do before?" She asks softly.

"Spent the day in misery. But I won't be miserable today, just worried."

"And I love you for that. But go into the lab and you know if I need anything at all, I'll call you."

"I'll call you in an hour to see how you're both doing. I love you," I whisper as I kiss her on the lips and then turn to leave.

"I love you too Mac."

XXXXXXXX

I close the door behind Mac and then hurry into the bedroom to see Cameron gently stirring in the large bed; his small frame looking so alone and helpless. My heart aches for a small second as I picture him alone, having to fend for himself. For a brief moment I think about what Mac must have thought over two years ago; when Cameron was forced into his life, a small gift that he helped create. I see his sad face looking up at Mac, his sad voice calling to his father; his mother no longer coming back.

But I quickly brush away any morbid thoughts and slowly ease myself down beside him. His watery blue eyes slowly open to look at me and I offer him a smile as my hand gingerly touches his warm forehead. Thankfully not at an alarming level, but I know he'll not be the same playful, exuberant child he was the day before.

"Are you hungry?" I dare to ask.

"No," he moans. "Tummy hurts mummy."

"I know sweet boy," I frown, my inexperience about dealing with a sick child starting to cause me nervous anxiety. Thankfully I hear the door starting to open and I know I'll have some wise experience to draw upon today. Millie appears in the doorway with a concerned look on her face.

"How are you both?"

"He's not feeling well and I'm worried," I admit in truth as I slowly stand upright and walk over to meet her. "He says his tummy hurts and he's warm but not feverish. We kinda got him a bit too excited after supper last night. I don't know what to think, but I am worried. Think that could be the cause? Am I doing okay?"

"Probably just lack of sleep," Millie squeezes my arm. "And don't worry, you are doing a fine job Stella. Just let him rest and get yourself dressed and some breakfast."

"But..." I start to protest.

"That's what I'm here for. Not to take over, but to help," she offers kindly.

I give her a firm nod in agreement and then slowly turn and head toward the bathroom. I have a quick shower and dress for the day. I am very thankful that she's here with us; I can't imagine if we had to leave him with a strange babysitter who might not handle him with the same loving care and attention that his grandmother currently provides. I exit the bathroom, smiling at Millie who's sitting beside the bed knitting.

"He's asleep now," she whispers as we both head out of the room and into the kitchen. "How was Mac's first day back yesterday?"

I am thankful that she's using Mac as a distraction to keep my mind from needless worry about the small sick child in the other room. I launch into my explanation about Mac's first day back, making us both something to eat for breakfast. I look at her and can't help but think that this is what I would be doing with my own mother, if she had been alive today. Sharing a life and a family with a woman who loves us more than anything; myself included. I sometimes feel selfish and not worthy of the amazing gifts that life has bestowed upon me; but as Mac has often reminded me, I have worked hard for all this and now I am able to reap the benefits of a fight worth dying for. I quickly turn away, my eyes watery but not lost on the older woman beside me.

"Stella? What is it?" She gently asks, touching my hand and turning me to face her.

"I um...never had a mother and...no one to help me with this."

"Stella, always remember what I told you, I never had a daughter," she whispers as she pulls me into her arms. "So I thank you for this also."

She holds me for what seems like an eternity before I finally regain my composure and pull back, looking at her with a loving smile.

"I almost feel guilty for not going into work today," I comment as I look up at the clock.

"Mac won't be upset, remember?"

"I know," I smile.

"Here is where he'd want you to be, looking after your son."

"I love him so much."

"Who? Mac or Cameron."

"Both," I confirm as we finally hear Cameron's soft moans from the other room. I look at Millie, expecting her to reprise a role she has come to do for the past few years; attend to Cameron. But once again she surprises me with her words and actions.

"Go to your son Stella. He needs you," she instructs and I am quick to comply. I hurry to the bedroom and see Cameron trying to sit up. I help him to the bathroom and then carry him into the living room, creating a small nest on the couch and putting on a Disney DVD for him to watch. I kneel down and tenderly caress his soft cheek with my finger before I kiss his forehead once more. I look up and see Millie watching intently.

"And you were at one time worried?" She looks at me with the familiar Taylor arched brows and I smile. "Can I also say I told you so?"

"I'm sure Mac has heard that a few times from you right?"

"More than you might ever know," she chuckles. "But he usually deserves it."

I head back to the table and I tell her about the upcoming outing with the Messer's and then our following trip to Disneyworld. About two hours later, Millie is back at her place and I am finishing up some laundry when Mac calls.

"Sorry I couldn't call earlier. Got tied up here with something."

"Tied up really? Better not have, that's my job."

"Ste-lla," Mac moans and I chuckle. "How is he?"

"He has been asleep for most of the morning. Your mother said he had a bit of separation anxiety yesterday morning when we both left and he didn't eat that much and with no nap and I guess with last night and...and he'll be fine. I'm going to make him something soft to eat right away. Mac?"

"Just love hearing you talk about him," his warm voice commends and my voice softens. I look up to see Cameron slowly starting to sit up and I walk over toward him.

"He's waking up now Mac," I tell him as I carry the phone to Cameron. "Say hi to daddy."

"Hi...daddy," he mumbles in a soft tone.

"Hi Cameron, you just rest okay and be a good boy for mummy."

"Ok-ay."

"He's going to be okay Mac."

"I'll let you go. Miss you today, feels odd with me here and you not," he sighs. "But I'm glad you're there."

"Me too. I love you Mac, see you tonight." I hang up with Mac and then sit down beside Cameron, touching his forehead and breathing a sigh of relief when it seems to be cooling down a bit. "Cameron did you miss me and daddy when we both left for work yesterday?" I ask gently and he offers me a sad nod before he launches himself into my arms and buries his face in my curls. "You know we both love you right?" I ask again, tenderly stroking his pajama clad back.

"Yes mummy," he whispers sadly as he looks at me with watery eyes.

"Both mummy and daddy love you very much but we also have to work. So tomorrow will you be okay for gramma and not get to worked up and make yourself sick?"

"Okay."

"Good. And if you are feeling well at the end of the week we'll go to the park, okay?" Cameron tries to crack a wide smile but I can tell he's not his usual self and my heart aches. "Do you want to eat something?"

"Yes."

I gather him into my arms and carry him to the kitchen table, talking about what I was doing all morning long and when daddy would be coming home. As per Millie's suggestion, I make him a soft boiled egg and a piece of soft toast and some tea for myself. I sit down and help him eat and then both of us head back to the couch to let his tummy rest and watch some cartoons. We both drift off for a nap but when I open my eyes next, Millie is sitting and reading beside us. She offers a smile and I close my eyes once more.

XXXXXXXX

"You have an amazing wife, McCanna," my mother greets me in the hallway. "Treat her well."

"Planning on it," I assure as I give her a hug and then head into my own apartment. I spy Stella on the couch reading to Cameron and my heart warms. He looks up and offers me a bright smile, but I am not disappointed when he doesn't rush toward me as I know he wasn't feeling well today.

"How is he feeling?"

"Much better now," Stella hugs Cameron's shoulders as I lean in and kiss her on the lips and then sit down on the opposite side of them.

"Were you a good boy for mummy today?" I inquire and Cameron looks at Stella for approval. She nods his head and then he turns to me with a smile.

"Yes."

"And are you feeling better?" I ask again and he nods his head in agreement. "Well tonight will be quiet night for sure."

"How was work?" Stella wonders as she leaves Cameron on the couch to play with some toys and follows me into the bedroom.

"I was worried all day but you knew that right?"

"I expected as much. I think he'll fare better tomorrow."

"No more Twister," I state and Stella pouts and I can't help but chuckle. "At least not tonight. So how was your day?" I quickly change, listening to Stella talk about what it was like to play mother nurse on her first day with him.

"And will you ever play nurse for me?"

"Gutter mind."

"Oh you started it with the tied up comment," I flirt and she kisses my cheek.

"Can you blame me?" She tosses with a wink.

We then head into the kitchen and she starts dinner while I head to the couch and hold Cameron while I softly read to him, glancing up at Stella every few minutes and collecting all the looks of love she throws at me when afforded. I had at one time only pictured her where she is now; in the kitchen making dinner for us, her family and actually enjoying doing so. I know I plan to treat her well; to love her with all I have, but I sometimes wonder if it'll ever be enough. She has given so much to both of us; how do you repay that?

"Mac? You have that look," she notes from the kitchen table.

"I'm fine," I manage weakly. "Just um...sometimes amazed that something I wanted so badly has come true."

"For all of us Mac."

We finally sit down to dinner, Cameron not displaying his usual hearty appetite but it's to be expected after today. After dinner, we once again just all sit down, Cameron between us as we take turns doing some reading, Cameron mostly listening.

"Goodnight Cameron," I whisper as I kneel beside his bed and kiss his cheek. He had to go to bed a bit earlier and I am hoping that he'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine. Stella said she explained to him that we both have to work but that we both love him and will see him after work and spend all our time with him except on Friday's; that is still our date night. I turn on the small nightlight in case he has to go to the bathroom and then head into our bedroom, Stella already waiting for me.

"Come here daddy," she smiles and I am quick to comply. I know she's also had a hard day so instead of pushing my own sexual needs on her, I curl up with her in my arms as she reads to me before we both fall into sleep; our bedroom door left wide open. Thankfully in the morning when we wake up, Cameron is in the corner playing with his toys and then comes and jumps on the bed with a little more energy than the day before.

"We left the door open."

"That's okay."

"I think he's going to be just fine," I mention as I muss his hair a little bit more. "Think he'll be okay today?"

"You'll have your partner back at your side today Mac. And Cameron is going to let mummy and daddy to go work and he's going to be a good boy for gramma right?"

"Yes."

"And you know we'll both see you after work and that we both love you?" I ask in concern.

"Yes!" Cameron smiles as Stella's soft fingers rub the lines away from my forehead. We both linger in bed with Cameron before I let Stella use the bathroom first, Cameron following me into the kitchen as I start making us something quick to eat before we head into the lab.

"Think you'll be able to concentrate today?" I ask Stella as we both get off the elevator and head into the busyness that we have both come to expect from our jobs.

"I'll be just fine."

"Big Mac!" Danny calls to me as he and Sheldon hurry in our direction. He asks a question as Sheldon whisks Stella to help him and soon we are both ensconced in our jobs, our day getting off to a rapid start, ensuring our minds are kept busy until we are both heading home several hours later. And unlike the night before this time when I push our apartment door open, Cameron runs into our waiting arms as if nothing in the world was ever wrong with him. My mother takes her leave and soon we are all laughing and talking about our days, Cameron chattering away about the new Lego that he got as a present from the wedding and what he tried to build with it. Stella and I both agreed that this week, we'd spend with him as a family, have the outing with the Messer's on Saturday and then start our weekly date night the following Friday; giving Cameron a chance to really adjust to the loving family arrangement we have all been blessed with.

"Hard to believe this week is finally over," I mention as Stella and I sit cuddled up on the couch together Friday night, Cameron now asleep on our laps, the credits to the movie Transformers finally starting to role. "Are we still on for the park tomorrow?"

"We are," Stella smiles as she, with my help, gathers Cameron into her arms and carries him to his bedroom; me finally heading toward ours to unwind for the night.

I hear Stella softly talking to Cameron and I know that's a sound and mental image I'll never tire of thinking about. I head into our closet and just strip down to my underwear when Stella's arms wrap around my waist and she pulls me back against her chest. However, I am greeted with lace instead of her sweater and so twist myself around to see her wearing a bit more than me; her underwear and that's it.

I gently cup her face as I bring my lips to hers, hungrily devouring her mouth, my body going hard as hers presses into mine. Her bare arms wrap around my frame, holding me close as her tongue pushes its way between my teeth, forcing a small groan of delight as my body is quick to respond to her aggressive advances. Our bodies intertwine, heat starting to build as we finally make it to the bed.

"Ohhh that feels good," Stella praises as my lips gently taste her soft ear lobe, her body once again arching into mine as our union starts to build. Her finger nails gently press into my back and my body responds in kind, forcing a small gasp of delight from her lips. Beads of sweat form and slowly roll down my naked sides, hitting my wife before resting on the folds of our bedspread.

"Stella," I groan as my lips cover her mouth once more. She calls my name one last time before I look down at her with a loving gaze. I kiss her lips one more time and then smile as her fingers gently push some damp hair off my flushed forehead.

"You are hot Mac."

"I know," I tease and she playfully slaps my damp shoulder. "Mummy is hot too."

"Like when you say that Mac. Say it again."

"Mummy," I whisper again in a warm low tone as I kiss her lips once more. "I miss date night."

"Mac..." Stella starts only to have me quickly kiss her; stopping her words.

"I know we'll do it next week; just saying it."

"I miss it too. Want to wake up naked with you."

"Ah, that's right."

We slowly pull apart, dress for sleep and then crawl under the covers, finally allowing the exhausting week to finally catch up and whisk us both into the dark realm of slumber. When I open my eyes next I look over at Stella's side of the bed and see it empty.

"Stella?" I ask with a gentle frown. However, as I hear soft laughter coming from the kitchen, a smile forms upon my lips and my wonder has quickly subsided.

"Daddy!" Cameron shouts as he hurries ahead of Stella into our bedroom and jumps on the bed. I offer a small gasp as I am temporarily winded. But as his small fingers start to dig into my sides, I can't help but laugh.

"Tickles daddy," Cameron squeals as he continues his assault. Adding to my current state is when Stella joins him and soon it's my eyes gently watering from laughing too much.

"Okay I surrender," I lightly gasp as Cameron finally pulls back.

"Good morning," Stella offers as she plants a warm kiss on my waiting lips.

"Mummy killed daddy!" Cameron laughs and I just shake my head.

"KiSSed," I correct and he frowns. "Not killed."

"Kissed!" Cameron shouts and I look up at Stella and smirk.

"We made you breakfast," Stella informs me. "Cameron is eager to go on his date."

"No mummy to the park," Cameron corrects.

"Stop frowning," Stella lightly scolds as she rubs away Cameron's frown the same way she does mine. "He gets that from you Mac."

"I know, you told me that before. Sorry," I frown and she just laughs and shakes her head.

"We are going to the park and you are going to see Lucy."

"Lucy!" Cameron smiles as he looks at me with a wide grin. "Legs go daddy!" Cameron tugs on my arm, urging me to get up.

"Well no point in sleeping in now," I gently grimace as I wrap my arms around Stella and hold her close.

"Mac Taylor sleep in?"

"Fantasy right?"

"Mmm a good one."

"I love you Stella Taylor," I whisper as I kiss her cheek.

XXXXXXXX

"I love you too Mac Taylor," I offer him in return as he finally pushes himself out of bed and we both follow Cameron into the kitchen.

We start into breakfast, Cameron telling us about all the toys he's going to bring with him to the park. After breakfast, Mac and Cameron head off to have their shower, as I pack up the bag with snacks and toys. Finally it's my turn and soon we are all packed into our Ford Escape, heading toward the children's play area of Central Park. Taking advantage of a beautiful fall day, Millie told us she was going to head outside herself but that she'd be making dinner for us tomorrow; her tradition now to make sure we all have dinner as a family every Sunday night, I of course couldn't be happier.

We reach the park and instantly my mind flashes back to the first time I had ventured out to central park; seeing Mac after four years, a chance meeting that I still regret waited so long to happen.

"Stella?"

"Just thinking back to when I first saw you here Mac. I told myself I wasn't going to...to um think about it...but kinda hard not to," I reply, my eyes fixed on the space ahead of me. Mac's warm fingers wrap around my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I'm okay," I assure him as I look over at him with a smile. "Let's go."

Mac works at getting Cameron out of his car seat while I get the well stocked black bag and we head to meet the Messer family, Mac holding Cameron's hand and mine also. I have no insecurity about single moms; I know the man I am with loves me and my future with him is set. I look at him, his handsome face relaxed and happy, my heart is now at ease.

"Cameron!" The loud voice of Lucy Messer is heard as we near the spot Lindsay told us to meet them. She rushes toward Cameron, wraps her arms around him and gives him a big squeeze.

"We tried to talk her out of that," Danny frowns and we both laugh. "He gets it from Lindsay."

"He does not," Lindsay retorts as she just laughs and shakes her head. "We found a nice spot over here, in the sun."

We follow after them, putting down our things on the table beside the kids play area and then watching as Cameron takes Lucy by the hand and drags her toward a small jungle-gym. The four of us slowly wander over toward the area, Mac and Danny take one side, while Lindsay and I take the other.

"Stella?" She asks, possibly noticing the faraway look in my eyes. I look over at her with a warm smile.

"When I was here last, on my own, seeing Mac for the first time after four years, meeting his son, I never imagined that our future would end up like this. I had always hoped and prayed for a happy loving family that I could be part of; one with an amazing man that I love more than anything and children I adore. But that dayLindsay everything seemed so far out of reach."

"And now?"

I look over at Mac, his eyes gently creased as he laughs about something and my heart warms instantly. "And now I can't imagine a future alone ever again," I finish in a soft whisper.

"And motherhood? I know we didn't get much chance to talk during the week, but how was Monday? Being at home and all?"

"It was a real first. I was so worried but then Millie was there and so umshe assured me that I was doing a great job and...Lindsay it broke my hear to see him so...well not himself," I tell her as I watch Cameron laughing as Mac pushes him on the swings, next to Danny pushing Lindsay. "But no matter what, it's my life now and I wouldn't change it for anything."

"I'm happy to hear that."

"Thank you for the nudge on that day."

"Who says I only did it for you?" Lindsay offers with a wink as she nods to Mac and Danny. "Trust me; Mac needed this just as much as you."

"I know," I whisper as my eyes fix on my husband one more time. We slowly walk over to join them and soon the whole swinging contraption is filled with all six of us laughing, talking and just having a really good time.

"Let's race!" Cameron shouts and a few collective groans are heard.

"Mac?" Danny queries.

"No way. I'm already about to tip this thing over."

"How about we push the girls and they race the kids?"

"YES!" Lucy's turn to shout.

I look over at Mac who shares a playful smile in return. He comes up behind me, wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

"Daddy just killed mummy!" Cameron squeals.

"Kissed!" I correct and Mac rolls his eyes, his face gently flushing from embarrassment as all three Messer's turn and look at him intently.

"Um Mac this is a G-rated family park," Danny corrects and Mac looks at me; I of course can't help but laugh.

"We'll get a room later," I offer and Mac's grip around me tightens.

"Mac Taylor!"

"Okay enough of that talk," Lindsay pipes up. "Let's race!"

Mac starts to push me and then heads to Cameron, Danny following suit. In a matter of minutes both Lindsay and I allow the children to win and the air is once again filled with happy laughter. Finally Cameron and Lucy get off the swings and head for another area of the play park.

"Okay time out!" Mac states as Cameron stumbles, taking Lucy down with him. Both start to laugh as Mac grabs Cameron by the legs and swings him in the air.

"Me too daddy!" Lucy shouts and Danny looks at Mac and shakes his head.

"Yeah thanks Mac," Danny groans as he picks up Lucy by her ankles and swings her around, a safe distance from the other airborne child. Finally we all head back to the table, two children breathing hard and four adults with flushed faces.

"Snack time!" I call out and both Cameron and Lucy exchange happy expressions. Lindsay pulls out a few things and I add mine to the growing collection on the table and soon all six of us are eating the treats before us, enjoying the chatter of the children as they compare what each of them is trying at the time.

"So where is the next great Taylor adventure going to be?"

"Disneyworld!"

* * *

**A/N**: Okay so the epilogue is next and then this story is over! Hope you all liked this chapter and please let me know by hitting the green button before you go. THANKS! YOU GUYS ROCK!


	18. Epilogue

**Title: The Promise of Tomorrow  
Chapter 18 - Epilogue**

**A/N:** Wow thanks so much everyone for liking this story so much and having faith that I would give you the happy SMACKED ending that our fave couple deserved after all the angst the muse put them through in the beginning! It lasted a bit longer than I had anticipated but you guys kept it going and never got bored so that was so awesome!!!

**A/N: Special thanks to Stardust 585, StellaBonaseraTaylor, crazy-hot, herky_illiniwek, Hoshihikari, nciscsinyluver, da-doink-doink, rocksmacked, AngieKatreen, snowangel-983, kaidii, Phantom of the Tinman, Hazmatt, Smacked-for-life, SMacked Hard, snow6853, sucker-4-smacked, Marnic, Maja16, JackSam, babyDd, Sophia923, x-natalie-x, CSI-ncis, SMacked Fan, JillSwinburne, Elizabeth Perry, neuhuli, SMACkedHuddy, talkstoangels77, Ajordan111, Angelina56, Wildweasel, Catulicious, Foundgirl88, sccerplayr18.**

If I have forgotten you in this special shout out and you review on a regular basis then my humble apologies. And a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone else.

* * *

We spent the rest of our Saturday with the Messer's, further cementing our friendship for us, my role as godfather to Lucy and watched the bond continue to form between Lucy and Cameron. Danny told us that Flack and Emily are still dating and their bond is also continuing to strengthen. I for one couldn't be happier for both of them, knowing Emily's character and Flack's need for a quality woman in his life.

I watch Stella and Lindsay sitting together, Stella clutching Lucy in her grasp and I can't wait until we have a daughter of our own. Danny and Cameron are in the sandbox a few feet from me and I wonder if they would ever consider another child as well.

"Thanks for coming today you guys," Lindsay mentions as we slowly start to pack up; the sun threatening to set and a slight chill starting to be felt in the air.

"We have a lot of fun today," Stella replies, Cameron in her grasp as I finish stuffing all contents back into the black travelling bag to head for home. Tomorrow we'll have dinner with my mother, our new Sunday family ritual and then in two weeks we head to Disneyworld in Orlando Florida.

We all exchange hugs and some kisses and soon I have one arm firmly holding Cameron against me and the other wrapped around my wife's waist as we head back to our waiting SUV.

"I think we'll all sleep well tonight," Stella tells me in a soft tone as she helps me bundle Cameron's sleeping form into his car seat, then finally heading for home.

"Funny I haven't had that much trouble sleeping at all as of late," I comment as I look over at my amazing wife. "Thanks to you."

"Well that is one thing I will happily accept blame for," she squeezes my hand in return. "Nor tomorrow night."

"What is tomorrow night?"

"Your mother is making turkey."

"Ah tryptophan. Right, the sleep drug."

"The turkey drug."

"For drugging turkey's?" I arch my brows and she laughs.

"Is that a _personal _reference?" She counters and it's my turn to chuckle.

We reach home and I gently lay Cameron down on his bed and then go in search of Stella to help with dinner. I round the corner into the living room and spy her standing in front of the window looking out. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her back against me as we both enjoy the silence together.

"Are you hungry?"

"I am," she whispers in return.

I take Stella by the hand and lead her to the table, pull out the chair and smile when she sits. "I'm making dinner."

"Mac?"

"Trust me Stella, it will be edible," I tell her in haste and she looks up at me with a loving glance. "You just rest. You can read about all the stomach twisting rides you'll be conning me into joining Cameron on in two weeks."

Thankfully Stella doesn't protest that much and allows me to slowly putter around the kitchen, getting the leftovers evenly distributed onto three plates as she reads more highlights about Disneyworld. She then goes in search of Cameron, bringing him out to join us and soon our modest family dinner is underway.

"Did you have fun at the park today Cameron?"

"Yes with Lucy on the sings," he states as he shoves another forkful of food in his mouth before Stella gently places his fork on his plate, telling him to chew and swallow before adding more. Her loving way with him is almost indescribable. I had at one time wondered if she'd take to her role as step mother so easily but she's proven to me that not only does she love Cameron and treat him like her own son; her own flesh and blood but has firmly cemented in my mind and heart the thought that expanding our family is something that we need to do; for Cameron and for both of us. I want that with her; I want her to give me that amazing gift of life, to share the same DNA in a child that we helped create together.

"Mac?" Stella softly mentions my name, forcing my mental thoughts to slowly fizzle as my attention is completely hers once again. We start to talk to Cameron about Disneyworld and then after dinner we all retire a bit early; the fresh air and excitement of the day, taking its toll almost immediately.

The next morning when I slowly open my eyes, I am on my stomach but Stella is not at my side. "Stella?" I ask in a soft tone. I hear a distinct 'click' and then turn around to see my beautiful wife slowly walking toward me, wearing nothing under her open robe. "Wow," I whisper as my lips automatically curl into a wide grin; the door locked for our privacy, an ensuing adventure calling to us for some early morning love making.

I gently twist around as she pushes the covers back, her naked frame already ensuring that mine was ready in a matter of minutes.

"Mmmmm love the smell of morning Mac," she whispers as she lowers herself down onto my waiting frame.

"Woman on top...my favorite," I mention as her fingers gently tease whatever naked skin they can land on. My warm hands gently grip her sides and back as our union progresses.

Stella finally lowers her lips to me, her golden curls tickling bare flesh, her mouth now hungrily devouring mine. "Feels..." I start with a soft moan as her tongue dances with mine. However, just as I am about to return the favor a soft knock is heard at the door and our rhythm threatens to fade. "Cameron," I state with a deep frown.

"He'll be fine," she whispers in my ear.

"But..." I try as we hear some soft shuffling. "I know he has to learn. Just new for us."

"New for me too Mac. Okay so I read it in the book."

Both Stella and I look at the door in wonder, another soft knock before it's quiet once more. "Should we stop?"

"Mac, he needs to learn," she softly smiles. "He will be okay."

I look up at her and offer a tense smile, but as soon as Cameron goes away we continue where we left off; her lips hungrily devouring mine once again, my actions responding in kind. She calls my name once more and then both of us are finally still; only our hearts racing together as one. I plant a warm kiss on the top of her head as she looks up at me and smiles.

"I love you," I whisper. "You are so beautiful," I praise and her face beams, adding to her already after love making glow. "Truly beautiful."

"Mac, don't make me cry," she whispers softly as her eyes threaten to tear.

"Happy tears right?"

"From now on."

"And next Friday, Cameron has his sleepover at gramma's right?"

"Mac, we did okay this morning," Stella reminds me as she tastes my lips once more. We both hear the TV in the other room and exchange smiles. "Not that..." she starts and I gently press my thumb to her lips, my fingers caressing her flushed face.

"I know what you meant," I assure her as I lower her lips to mine once more and plant a warm kiss on them. "But thanks for alaying my fears this morning. Was just nervous he'd resent me or something."

"You can ask him later but you can be sure he won't Mac. I could feel the same also."

"I suppose your right. Always something new right?"

"Keeps life interesting."

We linger together a bit longer before we finally part, Stella heading into the kitchen, me taking Cameron into the bathroom for a shower.

"Were you okay when mummy and I didn't answer the door this morning?"

"Yah."

"Do you know why we didn't?" I inquire and he shrugs no. "We were having our special alone time but we still love you and I want you to know it wasn't your fault, okay?"

"Sure," he smirks and I know he might not fully understand but as long as I keep telling him, I think we'll be okay.

"We are going to have supper at grammas tonight," I tell Cameron as he stands under the water, eyes closed and allowing me to gently wash his hair.

"Lucy too?" He wonders and I look down in surprise.

"No sorry, not Lucy. Would you like to have her over sometime?"

"Yes," Cameron replies in haste.

"I'll talk to mummy and see what we can do."

"Okay daddy," Cameron answers as he opens his eyes and looks up at me with a loving smile. I hand him the soap to which he presses into my belly button, forcing a small laugh from my lips at his silly antics.

"Cameron wants to have Lucy over," I mention to Stella as I head into the kitchen sometime later, after I am dressed.

"Sounds like a great idea," Stella answers as my damp hair teases the nape of her neck, her body responding by displaying small shiver marks. "Mmm shower Mac."

"Go and have yours and we'll finish with breakfast."

XXXXXXXX

As I leave Mac and Cameron in the kitchen, my mind is now excitedly planning a dinner at our place with the Messer's and of course Mac's mother. As I stand in the shower, I now fix in my mind a possible date after we return from Disneyworld for having them for dinner and my excitement starts to build.

"Disneyworld," I mumble to myself as I finish getting dressed and then join my family in the kitchen for a hearty breakfast of pancakes and bacon.

"Cameron wanted bacon," Mac states.

"Cameron only?" I arch a brow and he smiles.

"Daddy wanted bacon too!" Cameron states as he takes a bite out of his.

"Fink!" Mac calls him and Cameron's face scrunches in wonder. "That means you told on me."

"To mummy," he points with a confused look.

"Yeah nice try Mac, tell the truth."

"Want to beat it out of me later?" Mac playfully arches his brows.

"You know if he grows up to be a naughy boy like you, you'll only have yourself to blame," I counter.

"I am not," Mac stammers, his face turning red. Cameron looks up at him and laughs; not really understanding why his father was embarrassed but taking delight nonetheless.

"You are partially to blame."

"Okay fine, but can you blame me?"

"No. Just love to tease you."

Our friendly banter continues for the better part of the morning, Cameron coloring at the table and me and Mac just talking and enjoying a lazy Sunday together. Sitting across from him as we both color with Cameron, sipping our coffees is another mental moment I will treasure for life. I used to dread Sunday mornings; sitting at the table alone in my old apartment, but now they can't come fast enough. Oh I am very much looking forward to our 'adult' date night but just to be able to spend time as a family is something I longed for since I was denied it as a small girl.

"I should clean up," I finally mention.

"Color this mummy," Cameron directs and I can't help but quickly comply.

"Little finger," Mac snickers, not looking up from the task that Cameron had assigned to him. He of course referring to the appendage that both he and I seemed to be wrapped around when it comes to Cameron; tossing me the line I'm so fond of throwing at him.

"We need a few things for dinner," I mention to Mac and soon the three of us pack up our coloring supplies; clean the breakfast dishes and then get ready and head outside, heading for the market to pick up a few things that I will bring with us for dinner tonight.

"Mummy gets this!" Cameron announces as he stuffs another item into my basket.

"Nothing at eye level is safe," Mac huffs as he scoops a protesting Cameron into his arms and holds him tightly.

"Daddeeeee..." Cameron moans as he struggles to get free.

"Cameron, you can't put everything you see into the basket, we have a small list of specific items."

"But I wants mummy to buy that..." his voice trails off in sorrow and I look at Mac with a weak smile. We head down the next and I finally have a task for Cameron.

"I need that. Cameron can you please get that for me," I point to an object and Mac helps Cameron retrieve it. He places into my basket and then looks at both of us with a proud smile. "Thank you sweet boy."

"Welcome mummy."

We finish up our shopping and then head for home, finishing up a few more chores before we head down the hall to Millie's.

"Love the smell of turkey," I tell her as I help with the gravy, Mac and Cameron setting the table. "That is the one thing I have yet to master."

"Well when you have some free time over the holidays you might get the chance."

"I don't know, my boss is quite the slave driver."

"Well you can always beat him into submission; I'm sure he'd like that," Millie winks at Mac.

"Mot-her," Mac groans as we both laugh.

"Told me earlier," I tease Mac who looks at me and just shakes his head in defeat.

"My poor son, he never had a chance," Millie laughs as we get back to our task of preparing Sunday dinner as a family. Cameron once again drags a chair into the kitchen, pushing his way between us.

"Gamma I want to helps," he insists as he looks at her in wonder. She kisses the top of his head and hands him a few items, giving him instructions to wash and then place them back onto her cutting board; a task he readily agrees to.

"Funny how he makes even the most mundane task seem fun," I note as Mac's arms gently encircle my waist and hold me close.

"Daddy kiss mummy!" Cameron states as he points at us and Mac looks him in amusement.

"Well since you said the word so properly," Mac murmurs warmly as I twist my neck to allow Mac access to my lips.

"Yay!" Cameron shouts as Mac firmly kisses me and then pulls back, a twinkle in his warm blue eyes.

"Daddy needs to kiss mummy more often," I praise and his face beams; Millie looking at us with a loving smile on her face. We finally finish our tasks and then head into her dining room to have our meal. About an hour later; after much turkey, stuffing, gravy, dessert and coffee has been consumed, I look over at Mac who has fallen asleep with Cameron on his chest.

"That sight warms the heart doesn't it?" Millie notes as she stands beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder as we both look at my husband and son with a warm smile.

"Very much so," I whisper in return. I head into the kitchen to help her clean up; not wanting to leave her with such a heavy burden, enjoying another bonding moment with a woman I am rapidly wanting to call 'mom'. We make small talk about the park outing the day before and where we will be heading for our 'adult' date night and what she has planned for Cameron. After I am finished I slowly head into the living room and kneel beside Mac, planting a soft kiss on his handsome face.

"It's time to put Mac to bed," I whisper and his lips curl upward, but his eyes stay closed.

"Sounds pretty good right about now," he mumbles in return as he slowly opens his eyes and looks at me. "Did I miss the cleanup?"

"Oh don't worry, you'll make it up to me."

"Kinda like the sound of that."

"Come on, let's go home."

XXXXXXXX

"Stella I'm sorry," I state with a frown as she finally climbs in bed beside me.

"Why?"

"Blame the damn turkey, but I'm sleepy," I mumble and she laughs as she kisses my lips and pushes herself into my waiting arms.

"Damn turkey," she giggles as my fingers reach down and gently poke her sides, forcing a few more warm giggles from her mouth. "So where are you taking me Friday night?"

"I have to come up with a place? Stella I'm not good at that sort of thing."

"Trust me Mac, your better in more areas than you might realize," she tells me warmly and my arms around her tighten; her words once again cementing in my brain that I can do just about anything with her at my side.

"Okay I'll think of something really special."

"I'll be with you Mac. Even if we had take out in Central Park under the stars that would be just fine with me."

"You're easy on me," I gently sigh.

"I love you," she confirms as I kiss her on the cheek. We both fall asleep, dreams of the happy events of the weekend, filling our minds and hearts and once again ensuring that we are both blessed with a solid night's rest.

The week went by as the week previous; both of us busy during the day, Cameron behaving for my mother while we were at work during the day and then spending time with us after supper. Stella and I always made sure our intimate needs were taken care of; mostly me bending when she was too tired to enjoy. Friday finally rolls around and as I finish in the bathroom I head into the bedroom and lean against the door, watching my amazing wife as she finishes dressing.

"Wow," I praise as I gaze upon the black satin cocktail dress that clings to her amazing body. "I am going to be distracted once again," I gently moan as she fixes a small earring that is nestled among dangling curls. She knows that when she wears her hair up that it drives me crazy but I can't complain; just more to enjoy taking apart later on.

"Well you look pretty great yourself handsome," she praises me in return as her fingers dance around the silk knot of my black and white striped tie. "Smell good too. Maybe I'll be the one distracted at dinner."

"We could always order in."

"Mac..."

"Give me a break will you?" I retort and she smiles as her fingers linger on my face. I help her with her coat, Cameron holding a whole arm load of toys as he prepares to go to grammas for the night.

"We'll see you tomorrow morning, okay Cameron?" Stella whispers as she bends down and hugs him tightly. "I love you sweet boy."

"Love you too mummy," Cameron smiles in return as he kisses her cheek.

"I love you Cameron. Be good for gramma," I tell him as I hold him in my arms as Stella locks the door.

"Have fun tonight you two. See you in the morning," my mother tells us as she takes Cameron, the smell of freshly baked cookies already distracting him as we quickly take our leave.

"So where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise."

"Really?"

"And I'm not giving in this time," I state in triumph until her hand rests on my thigh. "Stella..." I moan and she quickly pulls it away, laughing at the power she knows she has over me.

"Weak man."

"When it comes to you I will gladly concede defeat."

I pull up to a very expensive restaurant and she looks at me in wonder; knowing that not only have we already been here but the last time we were here was a turning point for both of us.

"Mac?"

"Our table is waiting."

"Right," is all she seems to be able to manage and I know the time I spent during lunch hours the past week were not in vain. We are shown to our private booth and already I am hit with memories of when I first told Stella that I loved her; actually offered the words I knew in my heart I was feeling for the past number of years.

"Mac?"

"I love you," I blurt out and she looks at me in wonder. "I told you that at this very place remember?"

She takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I will never forget. I love you too."

We order our dinner and drinks and then settle in for the next few hours, talking and enjoying our 'adult' date. Our conversation does include Cameron, but it's also dotted with work, our holiday plans for the following year and a few other things we need for our home; including a possible Taylor addition. The first time I came here, I had feared talking so openly about Cameron, our past together and what the future might for her and I. But as the evening progresses I realize that those initial fears were unfounded and now enjoyment is the only feeling that my whole being is experiencing; that and unconditional love.

"Do you want to dance?" Stella inquires as the lights dim further and the slow music beckons couples to come make use of the space waiting to be filled.

"I would love to," I answer as I take her hand and lead us to the dance floor, my arms automatically wrapping around her, holding her tight against my hungry frame. "You smell good," I whisper as I plant a soft kiss below her ear.

"Behave," she lightly warns and I have to chuckle as I allow some breathing space to develop between us.

"Do you know the power you have over me?" I query in a soft tone.

"Works both ways Mac," she counters and I just shake my head with a smile. We stay out on the floor for a few more dances before we both know it's time to go someplace more private and continue our session.

"Thank you for such an amazing dinner," Stella offers as we near home.

"Well I too enjoyed it very much. And the company was not bad," I tease as she gently grabs my inner thigh, making my body instantly react. "Not fair," I try to pull away in protest. She pushes me up against the elevator wall, her eyes daring mine to make a move in such a public setting.

However, I surprise her by gently wrapping my hand around the back of her neck and bringing her lips to mine, hungrily tasting them and then pulling back for a breath of air. "Didn't think I would do that did you?" I counter.

"Trust me Mac, you still keep me guessing," she smiles as her arm snakes around my back and holds me close. We try to stifle our teenage giggles as we pass my mothers, but as soon as our apartment door is locked, our coats are on the floor and our lips hungrily devouring the other. Without the worry of Cameron walking in on us, him already asleep in my mother's apartment, I let Stella's dress fall to the floor as I scoop her nearly naked body into my arms and carry her toward the bedroom.

My dress shirt and undershirt already creating a trail to the bedroom, just the loose piece of silk still draped around my neck.

"Make love to me Mac," Stella gently mumbles as her fingers grasp the tie and she pulls me down on top of her. I am only to happy to comply with such a request; my body already ready in anticipation. My fingers get trapped in curls as my mouth starts to plant warm kisses on her mouth and then her fragrant neck; her perfume forcing my body to react quicker to her amazing smell than even I anticipated.

"Stella..." I gently groan as her fingers tease places that force my brain to revel in new sensations and delights. "Feels amazing," I praise as she continues.

Her hair becomes damp from the heat of my fingers and the sweat beads that are now trapped between golden curls and sweaty fingers, keeping my hands trapped.

"Mmm Mac," Stella whispers as my lips taste her skin once more.

"Mac!" Stella gasps one last time as we reach the end and the room is finally still; our hearts still racing.

"Love you," I whisper as I push some damp curls off her forehead and plant a warm kiss on her flushed skin.

"I love you too."

And unlike other nights, this time we are able to linger together, alone and naked, bedroom door open before we finally fall asleep naked.

XXXXXXXX

I slowly open my eyes the following morning and look at Mac with a warm expression. His handsome face is still flushed from our latest adventure the night before, dark lashes resting on warm pink skin. His hair is still mussed up and his naked chest is tempting me once again for an early morning romp.

"Time to wake up Mac," I whisper as I start to plant warm kisses on his bare chest, my brain delighting in his warm early morning scent. His body stretches for me, but soon his arms wrap around me, his lips on mine and I know it'll be some time before we allow Cameron back into our home.

"Please do," he smiles in anticipation.

"How was he?" I ask Millie a few hours later as I leave Mac in our apartment to finish the laundry and I go in search of our son.

"Cameron and I made playdoh last night," Millie tells me. "Cameron made...well attempted to make Mickey Mouse."

"Looks mummy," Cameron proudly holds up the small distorted but somewhat familiar looking figure for me to see.

"Looks just like the real thing," I praise and his smile grows wider. "We are going to see him a few days."

"YAY! LOVES YOU MUMMY!" He shouts as he hugs me tight and a small lump forms in my throat. I chat with Millie a bit longer before Cameron takes my hand and we skip down the hallway to our own waiting apartment. The three of us spend the rest of our Saturday together as a family, once again having Sunday dinner at Millie's and then getting ready for another week of work.

"Stella!" Mac's voice calls to me from Cameron's room. I hurry toward them only to stop and laugh as I see both Mac and his son knee deep in clothing items.

"I knew sending you in was a bad idea," I lightly scold Mac.

"Then you have only yourself to blame," he counters with a smug smirk.

"Bad boy."

"Mummy helps," Cameron moans as Mac looks at me with a defeated expression.

"I have never packed for him before, why did you suggest I do this?"

"Because you never packed for him before!" I counter and Mac frowns.

"Help!" Mac finally requests and I know I can't say no. I gently push myself between them, dig out Cameron's suitcase, toss out all the things he and Mac had put into it and start fresh; both Cameron and Mac watching in captive fascination.

"Told you mummy was the best!" Mac praises as Cameron's hand offers Mac's a high five. About half hour later, Mac is tucking Cameron in and I join him after I had finished cleaning up his room. "Think you'll sleep tonight Cameron?"

"No. We sees Mickey tomorrow," Cameron smiles.

"I'm almost too excited to sleep also, I can't blame him," I whisper softly as I plant a warm kiss on the top of his head. We both say our goodnights to Cameron and the head into our bedroom to finish our packing; our conversation focusing around our new adventure starting tomorrow.

"Think you'll sleep tonight?" I ask Mac in wonder.

"We sees Mickey tomorrow," he teases as his arms encircle me for the night ahead. However the night passes by with haste and morning comes all too quickly.

"Cameron, wait for us!" Mac calls out as he gives his mother a hug and then hurries after us. Millie waits until we are through security; offers us a final wave and then leaves. Mac and sit on either side of Cameron in the waiting area, listening to him chatter away about things he's looking at in his Disneyworld brochure. We are finally called to board the plane and waste no time in grabbing our carry on items and heading for the door.

"My family is with me," Mac tells the ticket agent as he hands her our three tickets; one of my hands firmly clutching Cameron's and the other a small suitcase. Mac flashes me a warm smile and my heart melts. _My family_, are the two words that I have come to love more than anything else he has to offer; save for I love you, of course.

Cameron insists on the window seat and Mac doesn't care as long as he's on the aisle; always reminding me that he hates to fly. I take his hand and firmly clutch it in mine, giving it one more squeeze, forcing his eyes to lock with mine.

"Stella?"

"Hard to believe we are actually doing this."

"Going to Disneyworld?"

"Taking a _family vacation_. I mean all this arranged by a man that never took a day off in his life; much less planned such an amazing family holiday for one week."

"I'm glad you approve," he mentions in a soft tone as he leans over and kisses my cheek. "I love you," he whispers in my ear and my face flushes instantly; his warm breath sending small shivers down my spine.

"I love you too Mac."

The announcement comes overhead and Cameron looks at us with excitement. Thankfully it's a short flight and the warm hot sun of Florida will soon be welcoming us with open arms. Cameron is finally belted in and he grasps my hand as the plane starts to race down the runway.

"Tickles my tummy mummy," he states with a slight frown and I can't help but laugh. We all settle into the flight, taking our snacks and making light conversation while Cameron colors in his complimentary Disney coloring book. The short flight finally comes to a stop at Orlando International and soon we are settled into a special shuttle that will take us to Walt Disney World and our hotel.

I know the warnings about missing children so my fingers grasp Cameron's perhaps a bit tighter than necessary; but while I'm careful not to hurt him, I need to know my grasp is firm so that he'll be safe the entire time we are here.

"Wow Mac," I whisper as the shuttle stops at the entrance to the large amusement theme park. "This really is something else."

"Actually I'm starting to feel that excitement also," he replies.

"Mummy! Daddy! Looks!" Cameron shouts, drawing a few smiles from people also affected by the exuberant child's happy enthusiasm.

"We'll check in and then scope out the place, make a plan for what we want to do tomorrow," Mac tells us as the shuttle finally stops in front of the entrance to our hotel. We all step out and I look around, my eyes taking in all the amazing sights and my ears the delightful sounds. We check in and then slowly take our stuff up to our plush hotel room.

"Stella?" Mac queries with a soft tone as he wraps his arms around me, now both of us facing outside; Cameron in front looking with fascination at all the rides and attractions a few stories below.

"So do you think this really is the happiest place on earth?"

"At the moment yes; but as soon as we are back, home will be the happiest place on earth."

"Home is happier than here?"

I twist myself around in his strong and loving grasp. "It will be when I tell you the news."

"What news?"

"I'm pregnant!"

"What?" Mac asks in shock, his eyes instantly watering; mine already glistening with happy tears.

"We are going to have a baby; you and me."

"I um...really?"

"Really. A child of our very own," I tell him warmly. "I love you Mac Taylor."

"I love you so much Stella Taylor," he replies with a wide smile as he looks down at Cameron. "Mummy's going to have a baby."

Cameron shrugs and I just laugh. "That means you are going to have either a brother or sister."

"Okay," he simply mentions and we both laugh.

"Nothing to say to that Cameron?" Mac queries.

He thinks for a moment and then looks at Mac while pointing to me. "Kiss mummy!"

"Gladly," he readily agrees as his lips crush mine, Cameron wrapping his arms around us, making the circle complete.

_My family_.

Four years ago; my life changed forever.

Four years ago; the day Mac walked out the future seemed bleak.

Four years ago; I died that day; mentally and emotionally, fearing I would never recover much less be able to say that time really can mend a broken heart. But time has shown me that second chances don't come along all the time but when they are offered, you need to fight to keep them; hold onto them and prove that you were worth offering that second chance to.

I know right now that our love never died; it was just misplaced for a little while, we have forever ahead of us. The promise of tomorrow was always there, waiting for us to take it. And as Cameron's arms wrap around my legs; Mac's arms tightening around my waist; right now I know one thing is certain, we'll never be alone, ever again.

**THE END! (for now)**

* * *

**A/N:** Well was it an ending fit for Disney? (grin). THANKS SO MUCH to all of you and hope you liked this ending. Please let me know if you'd like a sequel; a new Taylor on the way; a growing friendship with the Messer's; and the possible return of a foe from the past to threaten the future. Thanks so much for all the reviews, alerts and faves and please leave me a final review, even you lurkers! (wink) especially if you want a sequel. LOVE YOU ALL!


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